It was a strange thing, going from simple friendship to something more. There was a tiny, biting feeling at the pit of Carter's stomach, constantly asking her what would happen if things didn't work out with Kiran. Would she lose his friendship too? Would they hate each other so much that they couldn't stand being in the same room ever again? 

At least everything else seemed to be going well, as far as school was concerned. She was up-to-date with all of her projects again, there were no more secrets left to be exposed to the student body, and her progress with Leigh was improving. Even if only slightly. The important thing was that Carter could finally put the whole popularity quest behind her.

Her parents had left for their dinner ten minutes ago, so that meant she would be alone with Kiran. Alone. The thought of it made her queasy, as if being alone with him was a do-or-die situation. She would have to fill every bit of silence with random conversation. Because if they spent more than a minute staring at one another, not saying a thing, other things would happen. Things that would definitely mean they could never go back to being friends.

When the doorbell rang, her heart rang with it.

She swung the door open, and there he was, a sight always capable of emotionally knocking her over. What exactly was he to her now? A boyfriend? They hadn't decided, and maybe it was better not to put a label on it at all.

"Are you gonna invite me in or what?" he said, half-smile ever present, a pizza box in one hand and a paper bag in the other.

"I don't know... I'm thinking of keeping you standing out here."

"As long as you'll stand here with me, I don't care."

"Oh... uh... "

Kiran smiled and stepped closer. "You're attractive when you're nervous, did you know that?"

"I... you... stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Talking like that. Putting me on the spot." She gave him her best fake-contemptuous glare before turning away and walking back towards her living room.

"You don't take compliments very well, do you?" He closed the door, walked into the living room and sat himself down right next to her.

"I do too." She was overcome with a bit of light-headedness, having felt his arm graze against hers.

"Carter, we need to talk," he declared seriously. He leaned back and faced her, his own expression running parallel to how she felt at that moment. Worried, maybe confused. No one ever started a conversation with 'we need to talk' unless they had something horrible to say.

"Okay..."

"I want you to be my girlfriend."

So it had gone in the opposite direction. "Oh, okay."

"Okay, so you want to give this whole thing a shot?"

"I thought that's what we were doing."

"So did I, but sometimes it's like the things I say scare you."

"But it is scary."

"How?"

"Because what if it doesn't work out? What if we're together for a while, and then we have a horrible fight, and we never speak again? You're not a random guy that asked me out. I would hate it if something were to happen, and you weren't in my life anymore."

Kiran half-smiled, "You're thinking about it too much. I want to be with you, and if you want to be with me, then that's all there is to it."

He was right. He was always right. It infuriated her that he would probably always be the voice of reason in their relationship. As she looked at him, took in the charming qualities of his face, the endearing nature of his presence, she knew she had to stop fixating her attention on things that weren't really important. Things like what would happen between them in two years. Five years. However many years it might take for them to break up.

"I'm not going to push you if this isn't what you want," he said, invading her train of thought.

She would have to go into this right now, be in it a hundred percent, or leave it forever. She took a breath, and jumped, "I want this."

"So I can kiss you in public and you won't back away?"

"Yes. I mean, no, I won't back away."

"And you won't change your mind tomorrow?"

"I won't. I promise."

And then it evaporated. The anxiety. The psychotic over-analyzing of everything. Even if only for a blissful second. He moved a strand of her hair away from her face, a thing that had become second-nature in their moments together, and kissed her. Like he was hungry for her. It was amazing how his kisses were enough to make her forget everything.

***

What was worse, waiting for the crap to hit the fan, or the mess of it all once it actually happened? Leigh didn't know, and for Carter's sake, she hoped it was only in her head. The atmosphere of Newton High was damp with unease, and Leigh was convinced that it had to do with that clique. That stupid, immature clique. The one responsible for every bit of chaos Carter had gone through. Of course, one could argue that Carter was the responsible one, but Leigh had decided to stick by Carter's side. No matter what.

Sure, their friendship was a little strained right now. Sure, it would take Leigh a million years to get over Kiran Jones. But the connection she once had with Carter, that magnificent sister-like bond, was not something that could be pushed into the emotional gutter of high school circumstances. She would have to get rid of the pitiful jealousy that had taken refuge in her heart.

When she heard a whisper, a hint of there being an e-mail of some sort going around the school, she had to investigate. Unfortunately, she wasn't very well versed in the social endeavours of the popular crowd, so she had to settle for Sterling Foster. Sterling usually knew what was up with the student body, and even though they weren't exactly friends, they had always been cordial towards one another.

So on Wednesday morning, an hour or so after Leigh had heard the first whisper, she found Sterling standing by the door of what was probably her next class.

How did Carter do it? Raise your chin? Stand straight? Have as much confidence as possible? She sauntered towards Sterling with all that mind, suddenly aware that she probably looked more like a nervous, waddling duck than a self-assured lion. "Hi Sterling."

"Hey Leigh. How's Carter doing?" Sterling said, a bit of concern clear in her tone.

"Fine, probably, why?"

"With the text that everyone in our year got, I would think she'd be horrified. I know I'd be crying my eyes out if it had been me. Did she show up to school today? I haven't seen her."

"I haven't seen her either. And what text?"

"You didn't get it?" Sterling shifted her eyes away, maybe regretting bringing it up. "I thought it was a mass text message."

"No, I didn't get it. What did it say?"

Sterling bit her lip and looked away completely. Unsure and distant. Fortunately for her, the teacher had just unlocked the classroom door, prompting students to file in. "Um... I can't talk about it right now. Class is starting. I'll forward it to you later, okay?"

So there was a text. How very modern. Leigh hoped that Sterling wasn't just full of hot air, and that she'd actually forward that text. If not, Leigh would have to find some other person to extract information from. Maybe someone who wasn't so shifty.

As the rest of the day progressed, she tried to watch people, to see if she could possibly catch a conversation, hear Carter's name being said through all the superficial jibber-jabber. No such luck. Carter herself was nowhere to be seen. Not at her usual classes. Not in the cafeteria. Not even in the library. She wasn't replying to texts or answering calls either. By fifth period, Leigh was convinced that the girl had skipped school.

When the final set of classes let out, Leigh was borderline desperate. She spotted Aiden leaving through one of the side-door exists and ran after him. With any luck, she wouldn't make a total fool of herself in front of him.

"Aiden, I need to talk to you."

He smiled when he saw her. Almost too broadly, like a kid who had been given a golden ticket to a Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. "Leigh. Hi. Sure. We can talk."

"Did you get text message today, about Carter?"

That smacked the smile right off of him. "Yeah I did. Didn't you? I thought everyone did."

Clearly she wasn't cool enough to be a part of everyone. "No. I need to know what it said."

"I don't know if I should be telling you this-"

"Tell me, please."

"Only on one condition."

"Whatever it is, fine."

"So then I can pick you up Friday at seven, for our date?"

"Huh?" Leigh was at a loss for words. Here she was, all concerned and almost crazy, and he felt the need to throw that in her face? Who did that? Didn't he know how serious this situation was? Had she even heard him right?