You know that I've been absent for more than a month and I told you it's because I was overcoming depression. It was a tough time for me because I experienced what some Christians have experienced or are currently experiencing. 

My consistency was tested. My faithfulness to God was tested. There were so many trials and problems that came along the way and one of the major ones was people misunderstanding me. It's like "they see what I do, not why I did it" kind of thing. Mainly with my parents. Here is why:

I am that type of person who joins in a lot of contests at school. Whether I am chosen by my teacher or not. With every opportunity that God presents me with, I take it. And when I am in training, I can't help but come home late. The jeepneys going to my home are always full in the afternoon so often times, I start riding a jeep at around 6 pm. It pains me whenever my parents tell me that joining contests is useless. I haven't told them that the sole reason for my participation is to make them proud. 

I've been scolded to the extent that I was almost kicked out of the house.

Another thing that happened to me was that suddenly, I hated people again. I hated being with people or even the sight of my classmates. It pains me to see that our once so faithful class is becoming a wreck. I hear cussing and multiple drama again. Plus, the grade conscious attitudes were coming back and education became competition once again. I admit, I have my flaws but right there, I was introverted. I got anger management issues all over again and yelled at even the smallest of things.

Yes, everything went haywire. I started going back to secular songs and excluded myself from people. I chill at the back of the room almost everyday whenever my introverted self took over. Everyone reverted back except one. And he is my best friend, no, my brother.

He always sings worship songs, mostly shouting them, to overpower the secular songs surrounding the room. Me? I hated myself for doing this: I cover my ears when he sings. I got annoyed with his singing. I know, I'm stupid. There's this one time, I was looking at myself in the mirror. He came and suddenly sung the lyrics to This Is The Day out loud. I covered my ears and walked out.

We did not talk for that span of time. He knew that I have turned back. He knew that I fell into the darkness once again. Given that, I was ashamed to even approach him or be near him. I wanted our friendship to be fixed but I told him that I will distance myself from him while I'm making my way back to Christ. Why? Because if I push myself to be friends with him while I'm not healed, I'm just going to put out his fire. 

That conflict was God telling me that I should go back to him. 

And now I am recovering. 

From that period of time, there were tons of happy moments. Like winning the contests and chilling with my family. What amazed me the most was that this book never moved out of the top 20 for that whole month. It warms my heart to read all the comments and I am amazed at how God still moves through this story even when I am in battle.

Let me be your mirror. You may be going through something right now. As Christians, we will be tested on our faith and consistency. All of us will have that battle but let us not let our guard down. We have failed but Christ still accepts us with open arms.

Do not hesitate to come back to Him. And once you go back to Him, don't leave. Please.

No turning back.For real this time.

P.S. Is it bad that I have thought of the ending before the succeeding chapters? Hahaha! I will do my best to fill them in. The story is not yet building to a crescendo. It just started! Enjoy the story! I'll try to catch up on updates :)

I love you all and I pray that you overcome everything negative that you're facing right now. Have courage and have faith.

God bless you! :)