"Stop."

I suddenly heard a deep voice barging into my thoughts. I wanted to commit suicide but because of that one word, I became aware of what I was doing. I dropped the knife and held my head with both hands. Who was that? 

"Suicide won't give you comfort, my child. I love you so much. I am so sorry that you've been hurt but know that I have better plans. I have a purpose as to why you are experiencing this. Please trust me. You are my masterpiece and as my perfect work, I am doing everything to make you the perfect creation I want you to be. It will break my heart if you end your life here. I want you to know that I am always ready to listen to everything you want to say. I love you and as I have promised, I will never leave you nor forsake you."

It was God.

His voice was deep and beautiful. Every burden in my heart faded away at the sound of His voice. The tears started to flow but these were different type of tears. These were tears of joy and realization. I was sure that this wasn't just my imagination for I felt something real. If I was imagining this, it would have been like I was lying to myself.

I ran to my room and fell to my knees. I cried and cried the whole time. I knew that this was all worth it. This thing called prayer. I was talking to God and I knew He can hear me. He was interested to hear about my day. How could I have not realized that? I tried regaining my composure and started.

"God? I just want to thank you. This week you have shown yourself to me in various ways. I'm sorry for doubting your existence, I'm sorry for breaking your heart with the words I said about you earlier. I just can't help but wonder why this is all happening to me. Why did I have to experience this pain? Just why?" I cried so hard but I don't care. It was really satisfying. I felt comfort.

Suddenly I had the urge to open the Bible so I rushed to the chair beside my bed and grabbed it. I flipped the pages randomly then I stumbled into this verse that really hit me.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

-Jeremiah 29:11

I then flipped it randomly to another page and my finger directly pointed at this other verse that was so encouraging.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

-Romans 8:18

A smile formed in my face. The tears stopped and I just can't stop thanking the Lord at that moment. It made me feel relieved, satisfied and loved. Someone cared for me even when others didn't even notice me. Someone loved me when others couldn't. He believed in me when I couldn't even bring myself to face another day. It was so amazing.

"Lord, thank you for the things you've revealed to me. Now I ask you to give me strength for everything that will come my way." I said sincerely. I looked back to the Bible and at first glance, I could see another encouraging verse. The fan must've blew the pages when I was not looking.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

-Philippians 4:13

Talk about amazing, this is spectacular! He was talking to me. We were having a conversation! It didn't feel like I was talking to the air. It felt like I was talking to the best friend I never had. A Brother I could count on. A Father I could rely on.

I ended my prayer, closed the Bible and went to sleep. This is the first time I slept with a smile on my face. 

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It's Thursday today. Yesterday was just a normal day. By the way, mom and I forgave each other and acted like nothing happened, which was great! 

We have exams today so as usual, I woke up early and started reviewing the subjects we were going to have a test on. I woke up at around 4 a.m. and finished all of the subjects by 5:48 a.m. I went on with my morning routine and proceeded to go to school.

While I was in the jeepney, I read through my reviewers to remind myself of everything I reviewed earlier. I have this tendency to forget the things I've reviewed so soon so I really have to recall everything. This must not be just me though. I think everyone else has this weird thing in their genes. I don't know why but when it comes to educational facts, my brain won't cooperate.

I got out of the jeepney as it stopped in front of our school and I walked to our classroom fast. I was already running late and I don't want to waste valuable time in taking the test. I opened the door and saw the classroom break into chaos.

Papers were scattered everywhere, chairs were disarranged, pencils and pens were on the floor. It was madness but it was the typical classroom setting when it's examination day. As I walk to my preferred seat (because we are given the freedom to choose where to sit during exams), I saw the typical "look up for information" tactic of my classmates, some were holding out their fingers trying to remember everything they've memorized and some, well most, were in a huge study circle which I swear is a gossip circle. They have their reviewers in hand but are not really reviewing.

As usual, my chair in examination day is between Denver and Vince's. Vince turned to me while Denver didn't really noticed because he was lured into the black hole called Math. "Hey God child." Vince greeted. I gave him a smirk and waved back. From that point on, I was one of those people who were just storytelling with one another. Vince and I were just laughing and telling each other jokes and Denver joined us.

At exactly 7:30, our adviser came in carrying a huge stack of papers. We all greeted her a good morning and she did the same. In an instant, all chairs were returned and all of my classmates became angels. The power of teachers.

"Okay, class. We are starting immediately so keep your reviewers and bring out your pencils and erasers as I distribute your test papers. Good luck!" she said cheerfully.

I did as I was told and grabbed my bag to get my pencil. I unzipped my bag and my eyes widened at what I just saw. 

Wow.

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Hello! Hahahaha! I know, the beginning of this chapter is intense. But, I was able to make a rebound by having a happy chapter ending right? Right? No? Oh, well hahaha.

This chapter is dedicated to HeyMrNightmare. She was so curious yesterday as to what would happen to Gray and who would stop him hahaha. She thought it was his mom. Well, maybe that's what you were thinking as well!

Anyway, may you learn from this that God can speak through your thoughts and through the Bible. Trust me, He can whisper when you least expect it. He'll give you words of encouragement and even make you refrain from doing anything bad. Hahaha. Father's amazing love!

Seriously though, in times of depression, run to God and talk to Him! And hold on to His promises. He's never broken one and He will never intend to break one. Always pray and put your trust in Him! 

What do you think did Gray saw inside his bag that just made his eyes widen? Comment down your thoughts!

Oh and from this chapter onward, I will add a video on each chapter from Youtube. Please listen to those songs and reflect on them as you read each chapter. For this chapter, the song is Come As You Are by Crowder. This song actually brought me to tears and I was engulfed with God's love.

We reached #18 in Spiritual! Thank you so much! All the love!

God Bless you! :)