A smile began to form in my face as I pull out a Snickers bar and read the little post it note attached to it that says:

Hey! Make us proud okay? Here's a little treat for motivation. You can ace the exams! I know you will. Love you! xoxo -Your beautiful mother

It's just so amazing that my mom would do this. Actually, this is a first. Usually when I take my exams, she just tells me that I need to get a high score, a statement which obviously has no love written all over it. I look up before I put the Snickers bar back to my bag and bring out my examination equipment.

One may think I'm crazy for mumbling the words thank you to the ceiling but I know that those words are not for the ceiling. It's for God, of course.

Anyway, exams started and it's the first time I finished with ease. Of course, confusion is never avoided but I don't know why, I just had fun answering and I finished fast, too. Probably because of the post it note that gave me the motivation.

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Exams were supposed to end at around 5 p.m. but given that most of the exams were exactly the same as our preliminary tests, which served as our reviewers by the way, we finished fast mostly just reading the choices on the multiple choice tests and encircling the letter of the answer that we remembered reading in our reviewers. We finished 3 hours before the time and all we did then is just clean the classroom and just talked.

I sat with Denver, Ivory and Vince as usual. Friday service doesn't start until 4 p.m. and it's only 45 minutes past 2:00 so we took the time to just catch up on each other's life. I started up the conversation by saying "Uhm. So, I attempted suicide last night." Their eyes widened at what I said. It's obvious that they couldn't believe it. Ivory stood up and dialed on her phone while Denver and Vince were still looking at me with shocked expressions.

"Haller!? Ari!" Ivory yelled. 

"Yeah, baby? What up?"  I could hear Ariana's voice over the phone. 

"Come down! Gray attempted suicide last night!" 

There was no reply from Ariana but I heard loud thuds from outside. I swear I heard a scream. She then opened the door violently and scanned the room. When her eyes landed on me, she ran and pulled me by my collar. 

"Are you mad!? Why!?" she yelled. She was furious, I could tell.

"Chill. I'm just going to tell the story!" I answered. She then became calm then let go of me. She sat down between Ivory and Denver. They all went silent as an obvious gesture that I should start with the storytelling.

And I did. I told them about the fight, the knife, and God. "...and that was it." I concluded. Again, their faces were painted with shock and amazement combined. From there, questions were raised from each of them.

"No one noticed the knife?" Ivory asked.

"Yes." I answered.

"What was His voice like?" Ariana followed.

"It was deep and relaxing." I replied.

"What time did you do this?" Vince asked next.

"I don't really know. I didn't have the chance to glance at the time."

"Why use a knife though? You could've used the samurai sword that was displayed in your living room. That could've brought more dramatic effect!" Denver shouted.

We all gave him our death stares. Ariana slapped his shoulder and called him stupid. "I was just joking!" he answered while rubbing his hand on the affected area from Ariana's death slap. "But kidding aside, you are so lucky! I mean, out of all people He spoke to you!"

I shrugged. "Just blessed, I guess."

"Hey, you do notice that it's ten minutes past four, right?" said Vince.

"Oh no! We have to get going! Let's go!" I shouted. With that, the four of them located their bags (Ariana had to go upstairs) and got ready to go. I, being the person who already fixed his bag, stood up in a chair and yelled "Guys! It's COP time! Let's go! We've been invited there for months and I think it's about time we finally attend!" All eyes were on me and all of them stood up and proceeded to go to the venue hurriedly and I did the same.

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Upon arriving, unfamiliar individuals welcomed us and let us enter in the classroom. I proceeded to sit beside Mrs. Smith who was at the back of the room. She smiled and gestured for me to face the speaker in front.

"Wow! This is amazing! It's a full house! Glory to God! Whooo!" the speaker shouted cheerfully. It was then followed by an applause by the people who were there before us. "So let's get started! Who wants to be the first to testify?" She asked. The room fell silent.

"Me!" all eyes turned to face the woman who shouted. I think she's a teacher here as well. She stood up and proceeded to the little stage in from of the room and began talking "A blessed afternoon to everyone! So as some of you may know, my son was ill and was admitted to the hospital last night. I would like to thank the Lord because he's feeling better now and he'll be out of the hospital this evening!" we all clapped our hands as she went back to her seat. The speaker came back and asked for another person to testify.

"Gray will testify!" I was shocked when Mrs. Smith announced my name. I stood up and held my Bible tight and proceeded to go up the little stage. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and opened them again. Wow. There were so many people. Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous anymore. I was determined to tell them about the amazing things God has done.

All throughout my testimony, I frequently heard the words "wow" and "Amen" while being applauded in the middle. I felt motivated as I spoke and revealed the proofs by reading the highlighted texts on the Bible. It was an amazing feeling to be looked at by people and being inspired by what I have gone through this week. I could see my classmates smiling at me, even the college students who were there looked at me with smiles on their faces.

"...to God be the glory!" I concluded. As I went back to my seat, I was applauded. I received a pat in the back from Mrs. Smith as I sat down beside her. 

"May I now call our preacher for today, Pastor Jane!" announced the speaker. Mrs. Smith stood up and was surrounded by clapping hands as she went to the stage. She grabbed her Bible from the table in front and faced the audience. "Okay, so let's start this with a prayer."

All heads were bowed and eyes were closed as Mrs.-- or should I say Pastor Smith started the prayer. "Dear loving and merciful God, thank You for the privilege to hear Your word today. Thank You for giving us the time to gather and rest in Your presence. Through this word Lord, touch every heart today and prepare us for the amazing things that You will reveal to us in today's service. We ask for Your 100% forgiveness for the sins we have done. Continue to shower us with Your mighty love and grace, Lord. We give You back the highest praise and adoration, in Jesus' mighty name we pray, Amen." 

"Amen." we all said in chorus as we opened our eyes. "Welcome to our Friday service! I am so thankful that you all came here especially my class whom I've been inviting since June! It's so amazing that you're here." Pastor Smith welcomed us with a smile. She then flipped her Bible and started her preaching.

"So our main text for this service is John 3:16. Let me read it for you. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. So through this text, it is clear that God sent Jesus to die for our sins to save us. God's love is unlike any other. For Him to send Jesus on Earth to die for our sins is what we call extraordinary love." she stated.

She then gestured for the technical director to play a video presentation and told us to watch it.

The video showed a man who was operating the drawbridge. He'll make the bridge give way when there's a ferry crossing and he'll lower the bridge so the train can cross it. One day, as his son was playing around, he accidentally fell into the underground mechanism of the drawbridge. He was stuck between the big gears that help operate the drawbridge. At that time, the bridge was up. His father noticed and ran to him. He wanted to help his son get out of the mechanism but he paused when suddenly, he saw a train approaching. The train was full of different types of people. Some were drug addicts, alcoholics and others. He was then left with a choice. If he pulls the lever to adjust the bridge, his son will be crushed between the gears but if he doesn't, the people in the train will be killed or severely injured.

I waited in anticipation as he was thinking it through. If I was him, I'd go for my son. I don't even know those people! 

Tears started flowing down my face as I watch the man pull the lever. He sacrificed his son for the sake of saving the lives of others! 

It was then that I realized that God did that. God sent Jesus to die for me. For me who is sinful. For me who never even existed in that time. It was just amazing that He did that for me in advance. He paid the price just to save me and here I am putting all His deeds in vain. I never deserved this. He never deserved that. 

From a seating position, I fell to my knees as the worship team sang a worship song and Pastor Smith still preaching. I could hear the sobbing of everyone in the room. I didn't mind all of those. I focused on my prayer.

"Thank you, Lord. Thanks for the past, the now and the future. I love you." I said as the tears continued to flow down my cheeks.

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The video for this is up there. I recommend that you watch it. It really brought me to tears and it really made me realize that God really did do what that man did on the video. I realized then that I was loved. Even before I was born.

If you know someone who feels unwanted or unloved, pray for them and encourage them with the truth that they're loved even before they were conceived. May you find inspiration through this chapter and always keep in mind that God loves you. He never wanted perfection. He just wants your heart.

How is you relationship with the Lord lately? Have you been talking to Him? Tonight before you sleep, kneel down and talk with God. He loves it when you tell stories about your day. Don't ignore Him! He's always eager to talk to you!

I pray that your relationship with God goes deeper. 

If you want prayer requests, feel free to message me or comment down. If you need encouragement, I'll be here. I won't ignore you. It gives me great joy to build up my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ! :D

All the love!

God Bless you! :)