Thanks to my late-night study session I woke up late. When I ran to catch my train I thought my backpack was suspiciously light. Turned out I had forgotten my freaking uniform.

Good going shorty. First day of work. Principal Miller is going to be so thrilled.

I heard someone snicker at me as they passed me by and realized I was saying things out loud again, this time complete with hand gestures and everything.

To be honest though when I got back home last time I hid the thing under a giant pile of clothes. I really shouldn't have.

Groaning I pulled out my phone fully intending to revise. It was the only thing I could think of to show Mrs. Miller I was serious about this job and the whole uniform situation was just a mistake. If I play my cards right I'll get away with not wearing that stupid uniform for one more day.

Let me see. what did I learn?

Bear was lactose intolerant so I cannot feed him any dairy, and he is on a special formula that is good for his kind.

I must always, ALWAYS use the super absorbent, ultra-hygienic baby wipes to clean bear and nothing else.

I must only make Bear wear cotton reusable diapers cause, he will get irritated otherwise.

Looking at my phone on a fast-moving train was not a good idea. Let me tell you. I was about to puke when I finally got out.

An alien lady passing by stopped to make sure I was okay. I didn't hear her for the first three times because I was too busy staring at her antenna. Have you seen that deep-sea fishing with a light attached right at the center of its head? This woman's antenna looked just like that. I finally snapped out of it and thanked the woman. A lot. After all, humans didn't even bother stopping.

"Change into your uniform and feed master Oban his breakfast."

I debated between telling the truth and lying and hiding in Bear's room for the rest of the day.

"Mrs. Miller. I forgot my uniform." I had a feeling Mrs. Miller would know that I was lying anyway.

"But only because I was staying up all night studying what you gave me."

She sighed. Poor woman, tired of me already and it was only day one.

"I'll have Jessica bring you another one. Don't make it a habit."

I lifted my hand and saluted her. I don't know why. It just felt more appropriate.

"I guess I'll go see Bear now."

"Bear?"

"The kid!" Who else would it be? Duh! I barely managed to keep my eyes from rolling.

"His name is Espath John Axic Oban."

That's not a name. That's a whole sentence!

"That might be a little too long for everyday use. So I thought of coming up with something shorter"

"Then you shall call her young master" She left me behind, shaking her head. What the heck? Young master? That sounds so wrong.

I shut the door to Bear's room behind me, cause I did not have the energy to deal with Mrs.Miller anymore today.

I could hear bear wiggling and cooing in his cot. Instant mood fixer, he is so adorable.

"Hi, Bear! Remember me?"

His only response was a pretty adorable coo. I was just about to start feeding him when there was a knock on the door.

"Miss.Short?"

"Hi, Jessica."

"Mrs.Miller wanted me to give you your uniform."

She placed it on top of the drawer by the door.

"Thanks, Jessica and please call me Shortie. Miss. Short just sounds like an insult to my height!"

She laughed as she left. Good, at least someone in this house has a sense of humor.

"I'll be right back Bear. Shortie needs to go for a costume change."

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror for a moment. I really did look like one of the other maids now.

"Oh, little Bear I am back!! How do I look?" I picked him back up. I knew babies didn't have any fashion sense either. He looked one look at me, coughed a few times and threw up. All over my new, shiny uniform. Maybe I was wrong. Babies did have a sense of fashion.

"It really is ugly, isn't it Bear? Let's get you all cleaned up buddy"

I placed him on the changing station and opened a cabinet to get his wipes an diapers. Only to find out there were not there.

Great.

I made my way to the kitchen to ask where they kept the wipes.

"Did Master Espath throw up on you?" I turned to see Jessica standing near the fridge.

"Yeah. I came to get the stuff to clean him up."

"You didn't touch anything without gloves did you?"

My eyes widened. What was she talking about? From the look on her face, I could see that she was being pretty serious.

"No. Why?"

"His stomach contents are more acidic than us. If you touch too much without gloves your hands would start peeling."

Oh.My.God.

This baby should come with a warning label. Why wasn't this in the manual?

"It was in the manual Miss Short. Page 31." Freaking Mrs. Miller being a ninja. When did she get in?

Also, Why was it not on page 1?

I double gloved myself for extra protection. Just in case. Wiping his hairy little body was a real pain in the ass, with all the hair in the way. I went through two whole twenty-five sheet packs of baby wipes before I was finally done. Changing his diaper was much easier thanks to the helper bot and all the practice I did on my own teddy bear.

After I was done cleaning Bear, I quickly wiped the vomit off of the top. All the garbage I threw in the bin labeled Warning! Bio-hazard. I used to think that it was overkill but now I think a warning was not nearly enough. Yuck.

Do you know what the little rascal did when I was finally done? He pooped his pants. He even laughed when I cried out in frustration. I was so sure he was doing this on purpose. My Bear was definitely smart. And evil.

When I was done with the cleaning. I took the bottle from the warmer. Now that he emptied his little tummy from both ends, my bear must be hungry.

I finally had a good look around his room. It looked cleaner and neater than my own room but barely looked like an actual nursey. Did Bear find his room boring too? I was pretty sure he pooped his pants so much because he had nothing else to do.

Maybe I won't be allowed to paint the whole room in pastels but what about adding a wall sticker, a spinny circle crib thing and a few toys? Zenya will definitely let me do that, right? If I promise not to destroy the whole house. I was gonna ask her before I went. 

Bear finished the whole bottle. Poor dude must have been so hungry. It looked like a full bear is a sleepy bear, cause he started yawning and my heart went aww... at the sight.

This was all Bear did for the rest of the day, he slept, woke up, ate and went back to sleep, oh and of course pooped his pants. He is a baby so I know I can't expect him to do much more. Although the little rascal did manage to wake up, just as I was about to leave and refused to go back to sleep or to be put back into the crib. That's why I spent good 30 minutes overtime, trying to get him to sleep again. I couldn't leave when Bear was crying. It was too sad.

Zenya didn't come back home that day, but I really wanted to talk to her about everything before I left. I decided to approach the witch to see if she could call Zenya for me.

"Would Zenya come home tonight?"

"She didn't say so, she doesn't live here Miss Short."

"Can I have her number then?"

"I wouldn't be comfortable with giving such personal information to a stranger"

What the heck? I'm not a stranger. I'm an employee. An employee that they are trusting with their small child.

"Okay, would you mind calling her for me? It's really important"

For a second there I thought, Principal Miller, wouldn't actually do it. Cause she kept looking at me as if I asked for her most prized possession.

"I'll try, but there is no guarantee she will pick up her phone. She is a very busy woman"

I was lucky though cause five minutes later I was on a video call with Zenya.

"How was little Espath today? Hope he wasn't too naughty"

"He pretty much did normal baby things." What were normal baby things anyway? Pooping, sleeping, and eating? If so, Bear did all of the above.

"You do have a lot to say, don't you? And Bear? Is that what you call Espath? I like it. It really does suit the little munchkin"

Oh no, not again "I'm sorry about that!"

But she just waved me off. "Don't worry. Really! Now, what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

Oh yeah! Shortie focus!

"I was wondering whether I could maybe add a few things to Bear's room. I mean, a human child would have needed stimulants to help them grow up better and since Bear is part human, maybe it could help?"

"Those stimulants aren't really necessary with our race. We grow up faster with or without them, but if you think Espath needs them, tell me what you need and I'll have someone order for you."

Success! Oh wait, I did not plan for this question.

"I don't know yet, I could go look around the toy store at the mall on the weekend when I figure out what to get though?"

Yes, everything is pretty much online these days but they still have malls so that us humans could waste our time wandering around for hours.

"Alright, you can tell me before you leave on Friday so that I can arrange payment for you, and ask Mrs.Miller to give you my number. You can talk to me if you need anything else"

Take that old witch! I'm not a stranger now, am I?

"Oh one more thing Zenya. I don't think bear likes the uniform very much. He completely ruined three sets today. I am usually alone with him all the time. So do you think I could maybe wear my own clothes. He didn't throw up yesterday when I wasn't wearing a uniform"

He threw up in two uniforms and poo-pooed on another.

I went on "I mean think of how much you will save on laundry alone. It's good for the planet too"

I seemed to be making Zenya laugh a lot. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.

"Ok you can wear your clothes when you are with him" Yes! Shortie : 1 - Stupid uniform : 0

"But you will still have to wear the uniform when we have guests there. My brother likes to have the uniform for special occasions" Oh man! Shortie : 1 - Stupid uniform : 1. I was so close to a complete victory.It doesn't matter cause I got almost all the things that I wanted

And little did I know, I would find more than just toys at the mall.