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chapter 4




Kirishima: I don't get it

Midoriya: get what?

Kirishima: bros before hoes
Kirishima: I mean, what if your bro is also your hoe?
Kirishima: what do you do then!?

Midoriya: ...
Midoriya: uhm, I think this is more of a question for someone like Kaminari
Midoriya: Kaminari, can you come online?

Kaminari: no, you cannot. Unless you're webcamming yourself

Midoriya: ...

Kirishima: bro

Shinsou: Denki, I love you. But no.

Bakugou: that's not even the correct way of spelling it...

Kaminari: :)
Kaminari: I love to be disappointing

Bakugou: that explains a lot

Kirishima: so no one's gonna answer my question?

Kaminari: well, the question is, why do you ask?
Kaminari: do you have a bro who's also your hoe? 🤔

Kirishima: no
Kirishima: I was just wondering

Kaminari: I guess that just means that you have to put your brohoe before anyone else

Kirishima: interesting

Kaminari: just like Bakugou puts you before anyone else

Bakugou: that's just because I hate everyone else

Kirishima: aw, you don't hate me Kat?

Hagakure: KAT!?
Hagakure: ARE YOU GUYS ON FIRST NAME BASIS!?

Kirishima: I mean, I call Mina by her first name too

Hagakure: THAT'S DIFFERENT
Hagakure: IF I CALL MINA MINA THEN SHE RESPONDS WITH YAAS
Hagakure: IF I CALL BAKUGOU KATSUKI THEN HE RESPONDS WITH BOOM BOOM

Bakugou: That's true, so don't fucking try it.

Kirishima: still, it's not that special. I mean, we're best friends. Bakugou called Midoriya Izuku too when they were best friends

Hagakure: wait, REALY!?
Hagakure: MY SHIP!!!

Bakugou: I literally gave him the name Deku.
Bakugou: as in, useless, can't do anything right Deku.

Hagakure: so?
Hagakure: you started with calling Kirishima, shitty hair and hair for brains

Bakugou: -_-
Bakugou: that was different
Bakugou: I call a lot of other extras by names like that

Kirishima: nah, Katsubro just realized our hair's not that different ^_^

Hagakure: suuure 😏

Bakugou: Shut the fuck up both of you.

Kirishima: why me, Kat?

Bakugou: 'Cause you don't know what you're fucking saying and you're brain doesn't have the fucking capability to be rational.

Kirishima: ?

Bakugou: Sigh
Bakugou: Just come to my fucking dorm. I'll explain it to you.

Hagakure: heheh, 'explain' it to him 😏😏😏

Kirishima: I'll go to your dorm then I guess

Hagakure: 😏😏😏

Aoyama: now that two members of the bakusquad are finally gone, it's time for the dekusquad! ☆

Hagakure: YES DEKUSQUAD SHIPS ARE ALSO REALLY NICE!

Sero: ...

Kaminari: heheh

Mina: YOU'LL NEVER GET RID OF US!

Sero: MUAHAHAHAHA

Aoyama: I can delete you from the group chat ☆

Mina: NO YOU CAN'T THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN DELETE OR ADD OTHER PEOPLE ARE KIRI AND MIDORIYA

Aoyama: why them? ☆

Mina: they are the people from the two squads in our class least likely to delete people just 'cause they dislike them or add people just 'cause they like them
Mina: Bakugou would delete everyone except for Kiri, I already deleted m*neta so that's why I shouldn't, Kaminari would add M*neta, Sero was forgotten when chosing 'cause unfotunately our tape boi gets forgotten easily, Iida would delete troublemakers aka the bakusquad, Todoroki would delete people who he dislikes , Tsu is never online, and Ochaco is a cinnamon roll who even when she would be the one to get permission she would give it to Midoriya 'cause she'd think that that's better

Aoyama: I didn't know you knew them that well ☆

Mina: that's the perk of being friends with an invisible girl who likes to stalk people for ship-material

Hagakure: WHAT? I DON'T DO THAT

Sero: ...

Aoyama: but it's time for the dekusquad! ☆
Aoyama: Uraraka, Tsuyu, Iida, Todoroki, and Midoriya, I summon thee! ☆

Asui changed her name to Tsuyu

Tsuyu: hi - kero

Uraraka: hi!

Mina: HELLO OCHACO

Uraraka: WHY ARE YOU TYPING IN ALL CAPS?

Mina: I WAS TYPING IN ALL CAPS? OH FUCK! I mean I wasn't accidentally writing in all caps

Kaminari: there we have it people
Kaminari: here we see the gay panic in it's natural habitat

Uraraka: gay panic?

Mina: THERE'S NO GAY PANIC

Todoroki: gay panic can be really tough

Uraraka: oof tell me about it

Mina: WAIT YOU BOTH HAVE EXPERIENCED GAY PANIC!?
Mina: I MEAN I EXPECTED TODOROKI BUT OCHACO?

Uraraka: yeah, I'm pan

Todoroki: and I'm gay if you wanted to know

Aoyama: Midoriya, are you okay? I just heard something heavy fall onto the floor I think

Midoriya: ueah, wjy wiulsn't I bw?

Kaminari: and here we have another gay panic. This time in a small green haired form
Kaminari: this is truly beautiful to witness people. There are so many gay panics. I have feeling a new one is about to blossom

Todoroki: are you okay Midoriya?
Todoroki: and Kaminari, not every little sound or typo means a gay panic

Kirishima: and you said I'm more oblivious than him? Wow, I guess I really am bad

Bakugou: Get off your fucking phone Eijirou.

Kaminari: and Shoji's about to witness other beautiful but scarring and gross sounds in it's natural habitat

Shoji: *sigh*

Midoriya: yeah, I'm okat Todoroki-non

Todoroki: you sure? you're making a lot of typos

Kaminari: a gay panic can cause symptoms like: uncontrollable screaming, involuntary squeaks, losing the capability to function like a human being, and a big increase in verbal mistakes and typos

Midoriya: Kaminari, you don't have to explain what a gay panic is. Most of us have had it

Kaminari: I know but someone has to explain it to the most oblivious person in class 1A minus Kirishima and Hitoshi

Shinsou: What? I wasn't more oblivious than Todoroki!

Kaminari: oh come on. I had a gay panic almost every time we were together before we were actually still together. Even now, you don't notice my gay panics
Kaminari: I know most of yours

Shinsou: no, Denki you don't understand
Shinsou: with me it's easy to notice 'cause I'm normally a calm and collected human being
Shinsou: it's a lot harder to notice it with someone who looks like he's in a gay panic 24/7

Kaminari: well, I can't argue with that

Todoroki: it's just a coincidence

Kaminari: What is?

Todoroki: Midoriya
Todoroki: he doesn't have a gay panic
Todoroki: he isn't gay
Todoroki: right Midoriya?

Midoriya: actually...

Kaminari: and the never ending circle continues

Todoroki: really, Midoriya?

Midoriya: I'm pan

Todoroki: that's okay. That actually really suits you

Midoriya: 😊

Kaminari: holy shit you're so calm Todoroki

Todoroki: of course, why wouldn't I be?

Kaminari: I applaud you for still being able to not let the gay panic show through text, even though I don't understand how

Todoroki: sometimes it's best to keep your emotions to yourself

Midoriya: wwhat? Which emotions would you keep to yourself rn?

Kaminari: hahah! THE GAY PANIC STILL GOT TO YOU. YOU'RE LESS ALERT!

Todoroki: Shit.

Jirou: lol, Deku is probably dead now

Todoroki: Midoriya are you okay?
Todoroki: he isn't responding
Todoroki: I should probably go to him to see if he's okay

Hagakure: YES GO TO YOUR BABY! 😏

Jirou: okay, so, until now my gaydar has been right. I want to know if I'm right with everyone though so everyone please name your sexuality in the chat
Jirou: gay

Todoroki: gay

Midoriya: pan

Uraraka: pan

Mina: gay

Uraraka: ...

Tsuyu: Ochaco.exe has stopped working
Tsuyu: gay

Aoyama: et moi est heterosexual ☆

Uraraka: really? I did not expect that

Aoyama: what can I say? Stereotypes should burn.
Aoyama: ☆

Tokoyami: Yes, I agree. I'm straight

Sato: straight

Koda: ?

Sato: you don't know yet Koda?

Koda: ✅

Kaminari: bisexual

Shinsou: gay

Sero: straight

Yaoyorozu: I'm not sure. Someone's helping me though

Jirou: you
Jirou: you might like like girls!?

Yaoyorozu: well, I know I'm probably not straight since I have a girlfriend

Jirou: YoU hAvE a GiRlFrIeNd!?

Yaoyorozu: Yes. Remember Kendo from class 1B?

Mina: omg that's so cute!

Hagakure: AH MY SHIP

Tsuyu: are you okay Jirou?

Jirou: why wouldn't I be?
Jirou: hAh
Jirou: hAh
Jirou: ...

Ojirou: okayy. I'm straight though

Hagakure: I'm also straight :)

Shoji: I'm straight

Bakugou: I'm demi

Kirishima: ...
Kirishima: I'm straight

Bakugou: Ei, one man plus one man equals?

Kirishima: two men

Bakugou: so what's more manly? One man or two men?

Kirishima: two men
Kirishima: ...
Kirishima: I'm gay

Jirou: yes! That means I was right with everyone but Yaomomo, Koda, and Aoyama
Jirou: my gaydar is getting better :)

Mina: wait, I have to know one thing though
Mina: Bakugou, you're demi right?

Bakugou: yes
Bakugou: somethin' wrong with that?

Mina: no, of course not!
Mina: but that would mean that you only find people hot when you crush on them. Which also means that you should've had a crush on someone to know you're demi

Hagakure: YES MINA GO ON

Mina: WHO MADE YOU REALIZE YOUR DEMINESS!?

Bakugou: Fuck off.

Mina: c'mon blasty!

Bakugou: fuck no, go away.
Bakugou: fucking raccoon eyes

Hagakure: c'mon pleeeeeeaaaaseee?

Bakugou: YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING EXPLODE YOUR FACE!?

Kaminari: holy shit, you're always passive aggressive with lower cases and dots... Why caps now?
Kaminari: you tryin to hide something 😏😏😏

Bakugou: fuck off dunce face

Kirishima: it was me

Kaminari: ?

Kirishima: he realised his deminess because of me

Bakugou: you sure Ei?

Kirishima: yeah 😊
Kirishima: they already know I'm gay so why not right?

Kaminari: what are you talking about?

Mina: I have a hunch of what's going on and I'm gonna scream if it's true

Kirishima: me and Kat are dating now 😊

Mina: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Mina: YES YOU GO GET YOUR MAN KIRI

Hagakure: MY SECOND SHIP COMING TRUE TODAY HOLY FUCK

Kaminari: yes bro!

Sero: congrats!

Mina: I think that I speak for everyone when I say: YAAS FINALLY!

Everyone: true

Kirishima: thanks everyone!
Kirishima: Kat says thanks too!

Bakugou: whatever

Kaminari: oh, and Kiri

Kirishima: yes?

Kaminari: I'm gonna get you back now. Your teasing of me and Hitoshi when we just started dating... I'm gonna get you now :)
Kaminari: and you too Bakugou
Kaminari: I'm not afraid of you :)

Kirishima: oh god
Kirishima: but not via text right?
Kirishima: I mean, most of my teasing was face to face
Kirishima: like a man

Kaminari: Hahah.
Kaminari: I'm gonna be bad :)
Kaminari: irl
Kaminari: but also via text :)

Bakugou: this is just more proof that you're dumb

Kaminari: heheh, just be prepared 😏😏😏

Bakugou: ...

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Iida: So, I was just ignored when they called for the dekusquad?
Iida: ...
Iida: I'm straight if anyone would like to know...
Iida: Anyone?





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A/N
It's Kiri's birthday today! So I thought why not give this manly man a birthday present? Now he got a boyfriend 😈

Have a manly day today! And remember, women can be manly too. Have you ever seen Mulan?

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