“How was your holiday honey?”

“It was fun,” I muttered absentmindedly as I stirred my coffee.

Our vacation was cut short by a week. I decided it was best to leave with Stephen and Nathan. After what happened that night, I didn’t want to stay there a moment longer. Kate wasn’t happy about that. She had a fit and then walked off only to return hours later.

Something about her had changed. It scared me because I didn’t want to lose her. She was my best friend, the person I go to when I need advice. Our vacation was going great until shit happened.

Someone tried to kidnap me and on top of that Stephen and I had unprotected sex. I still remembered the horror on his face when he realized it. The look in his eyes made my heart crack. He was pissed.

“Why the fuck didn’t you stop me?” he had yelled. “You should have fucking stopped Alia. Fuck! Shit!”

After his anger outburst he had stormed out of the room. He didn’t return till later that morning, and even then he didn’t utter a word to me. Things have been tense between us ever since then. It wasn’t the same. He even made me take a pregnancy test before we left. Of course it was negative. I didn’t point out the fact that it was too early to take a test.

He was so relieved. Tears sprang to my eyes when I remembered. I had two other pregnancy test stashed in my bedroom. I haven’t taken them yet.

“Alia?” my mom said softly.

I picked up my cup, composing my face, and then turned around to face her. “Yes?”

“Are you still mad at me?” She looked pale. Dark circles hung under her eyes. “I’m really sorry for lying to you. I know no matter what I say that it won’t make everything better. I just want you to understand what happened and why.”

My attention was snapped to the open back door. Michael sat on a blanket on the grass with Sam in his lap. Emma was chasing something. I watched as she said something which made him laugh. A deep yearning started within my chest.

“Did he ever hold me like that? Did he play with me and cuddle me like he does Sam?”

“Alia-“

“Just answer me mom. Did he?”

“Yes,” she paused. “He use to cuddle you and play with you before he found out.”

All I could do was stare at her. There were no words to describe how I felt. I walked over to the sink and poured the cold coffee down the drain.

“Alia.” I stiffened when she placed her hand on my shoulder.

“There are some things that I know you won’t understand. Please let me explain.”

“Not now,” I said, stepping away from her. “You’ve been hiding this from me for years. Were you ever planning on telling me?”

Her mouth fell open but then closed again. She briefly closed her eyes before reaching out a hand. I stepped out of reach before she could touch me.

“You know what hurts the most mom?” I whispered. “The fact that I have to watch him interact with them every day. I know he hates me and that’s what hurts. He will never look at me like he looks at them because I remind him of your unfaithfulness.”

I walked away before she could say anything. The tears I saw in her eyes made my chest tightened. I hated seeing her cry, but I also hated seeing him love them more than me.

The days seemed to drag by slowly. I spent most of my time in my room reading. My mom hasn’t tried to speak to me again after I walked out. Sometimes, during dinner I would catch Michael watching me.  Whenever our eyes locked, he would quickly look away. We’ve been polite with each other, but that’s how far it went. Kate was still mad at me for wanting to go home. She called me some bad names in the group chat we had.

I’ve tried calling her but she never answered. I even stopped by her house. According to her mother Kate was visiting Delilah for the rest of the vacation. It was on the last day of vacation that I decided to visit Stephen instead of sitting at home. We’ve barely spoken a few words. He was busy at work with some case. Whenever we would talk he was distant. Stephen usually ended the call after only a few minutes of pleasantries.

I grabbed my new phone– my old one was recovered, but he thought it would be better to get a new one. Everyone else though that my phone broke after falling in the water. Slipping my feet into my pink flip-flops, I made my way into the hall. I hesitated and then pulled my bedroom door close behind me. The pregnancy test and my sex toy was hidden in my closet beneath the carpet. I knew they wouldn’t find it if they searched my room, but I was still worried. 

“Where are you going?”

I jumped, spinning around to face Michael. He stood in the doorway of their bedroom. I swallowed, and then glanced down at my feet.

“To Kate's,” I lied.

I didn’t want him to know I’d be going to see his deputy. I shouldn’t care what he thought of our relationship, but I did.

“Will you drop your sisters off at your aunt’s house?” he asked softly.

My eyes darted up to his. It was then that I realized how tired he actually looked. He was dressed casually which meant he wasn’t planning on going into work today.

“I already talked to her, she’ll drop them home.”

“Why don’t you drop them off?”

“Your mother isn’t feeling well, I don’t want to leave her alone,” he muttered. I pursed my lips.

“Fine.”

“You can take the car with the baby seat.”

I waited in the kitchen as he readied Sam. After half an hour they were ready to leave. I stood aside as he placed Sam in the car seat and made sure that she was strapped in.

“Alia?” I paused, glancing up at him. “I don’t hate you.”

He walked away before I could question him. His words made my eyes water, but I quickly blinked them away. I knew that we had to talk. I needed to hear what my mother had to say. I just wasn’t ready to talk yet. Emma was eerily silent beside me as I drove. I glanced at her as I slowed the car at the stop sign.

“You okay?”

She nodded.

After a few tries of trying to start up a conversation, I gave up. I got a muttered goodbye from her as she climbed out of the car. My eyes followed her as she walked into the house without a backwards glance. Shaking my head, I opened the door and slid out of the car.

I walked around the car and opened the backdoor. Sam was sleeping peacefully while sucking on her pacifier. I gently undid the straps then picked her up. With my free hand I grabbed her bag. I stopped in my tracks when Mike walked out of the house. He paused but then continued towards me. I was frozen on the spot. Mike was my biological father. And I stood face to face with him for the first time since I found out.

“Are you staying too?”

“No,” I said angrily. “I’m just dropping them off.”

I held out the bag before he could say anything else. The moment Sam was in his arms, I got into the car and drove off. The road was blurry which made it hard to see. This time I couldn’t stop the tears from escaping. I managed to make it to Stephen’s house without causing an accident. 

I’m always this emotional when my period was close. No one answered the door when I rang the doorbell. I tried knocking but still there was no reply. Sound from inside caught my attention. The pulsing beat of some song reached my ears.

I hesitated for only a few seconds before opening the door. The beat of the song got louder as I entered the house. My heartbeat was starting to speed up. I should’ve just texted him instead of barging into his house. I closed the door softly behind me before stepping further into the house.

He probably won’t hear me when I call out. With my foot on the first step, I froze when the music suddenly stopped. The colour drained from my face as the sounds from upstairs drifted down towards me.

“Oh fuck. Don’t stop, don’t stop,” a woman cried out.

Another song started drowning out anymore sounds. I sucked in a breath, and then turned to walk out. That’s when she appeared at the top of the stairs. I stared in shock at the familiar girl. She was completely naked and didn’t seem to care.

Above me stood the girl from Cafe Randé. The girl Stephen had kissed that day. That’s why he hasn’t been answering me. It’s why he’s been so distant. Stephen was a fucking cheater.