Hello, hello, hello!!! 
Not gonna lie... it feels weird writing a note to all you wonderful readers, knowing that it will be about a month before you see it. That's right... Currently, I'm about a month ahead on weekly updates! OMG I'm absolutely thrilled!

My hope, is that I will stay far enough ahead so that when I finish this book, I can start working on the beginnings of Book 2 and have the updates roll together seamlessly. That is why, despite past habits, I am pacing myself with the updates and only posting 1x a week.

***TRIGGER WARNING: Explicit scene of child fighting. Mentioning of self-harm ideation***

To everyone reading, Take Care and Stay Safe! ~CANGEL <3

***

2 Months Later

District 14

Scarlet Wolfe

     The basement was as cold and empty as the last time they had been there. Its rough stone walls, worn from years of damp neglect, offered just enough open space for a table, three stools, and room for sparring. Despite its familiar look, it felt smaller than before, even with its corners now lit up from the candles they were able to afford, revealing its full depth.

     It had been a while since they'd sparred, and with the summer months now turning colder, they had taken to carving crystals in their attic room at home. But today...today she needed to be here. Judging by the way Cadmium had eagerly agreed, he had also felt a similar itch.

     Scarlet stood across from Cadmium in the open space, the cold from the floor seeping up through the bare soles of her feet, grounding her in the moment. She watched as Cadmium rolled his shoulders, his gaze steady but distant, his movements almost eager, like he couldn't wait to begin.

     She didn't question him, because she felt the same. She needed this.

     They moved through the familiar motions of their established routine, circling each other, fists raised, with a careful distance maintained. As usual, Scarlet threw the first punch, with Cadmium shifting his weight, making it a glancing blow that he could sustain rather than a solid hit that could knock him off balance. With the opening attack made, they exchanged a few quick jabs, both of them testing each other's reach, strategy, and reflexes.

     Falling into the familiar rhythms with her brother was comforting. Like Scarlet imagined coming home would feel for most people.

     For Scarlet, there was a quiet joy in pouring her pent-up energy into something so intense. As her strength waned, her thoughts grew steadier, her anger faded. With each tiring movement, she could feel her body growing stronger. She could forget about her worries and problems. The opposition was clear, and so was the end-goal: win.

     For Cadmium, she knew it was both similar and different. It quieted his mind and steadied him when he felt overwhelmed—on that they could agree—but for her brother, it also offered a way to quiet his need for pain. An alternative to keep him from disappearing into the depths of the Underworld, where the cost could be much higher than a few bruises or a split lip.

     But tonight...tonight the repetitive blows did nothing to ease the itch beneath her skin and instead, caused it to intensify.

     Without warning, Cadmium dropped low and kicked out his leg. His foot hit her ankle like a mallet, causing her entire leg cave. Scarlet fell to the ground, her head slamming against the floor. For a moment, time stood still. Her head stung, her ankle ached, and the cold... The cold seeped through her clothes, biting into her skin.

     Then her eyes locked on the approaching figure. Hazel eyes. Dark curly hair. A face of stone looming above her. He's going to kill me.

     She froze. Fear and anticipation mingled, flooding her veins a buzzing need to analyze and attack. Defeat. Win. Kill.

     Crimson wouldn't stop or show any mercy, so she could not either.

     He stepped closer, his eyes narrowed as he watched her. She waited. Waited. He reached out a hand. Now! Scarlet kicked out, her foot landing in the softness of his stomach sending him stumbling back. She scrambled to her feet, approaching her brother without any hesitation. She had to take advantage.

     Her body ached and she felt weak—dizzy. But she couldn't stop. Her throat felt bruised and tender, and it made it hard to breathe. Crimson had already tried to kill her. She couldn't let him get ahold of her again.

     Her movements grew sharper, faster, her punches harder. She looked for a weapon, but there was nothing in reach, so she focused on the boy in front of her. He was bleeding, but so was she. The familiar scent of copper filling the air. Blood spilt always followed by death. She couldn't die. Not now.

     Crimson stepped forward as she swung. Her closed fist slammed into his jaw hard. And he went sprawling down to the floor. She lunged forward, straddling his waist. His eyes were wide, shocked that she could ever get the drop on him. Satisfaction curled deep in her gut, but it was quickly overshadowed by the desperate need to finish it.

     Scarlet's fists collided with his face, over and over again, her mind drowning in memories of his cruelty earlier in the games. His strategy and ruthlessness.

     At first, he tried to defend himself, his hands deflecting her blows and his body shifting beneath hers, trying to dislodge her, but she knew that she could not let that happen. If he got on top of her then he would kill her.

     But then his hands fell down, loose against the ground. A trap. Don't stop. That's what he's waiting for. You can't hesitate or you will die.

     Then she felt it—a strange heaviness, a limpness in his body. His eyes were open, his chest still rose. He wasn't dead, just—not fighting.

     Crimson would never stop—

     Suddenly, it hit her. Her vision cleared, and Scarlet froze, looking down at Cadmium—Cadmium—lying on the floor, bloodied and bruised, his chest rising and falling in shallow breaths, his face battered.

     "Cadmium!" She shouted, panicking as fear coursed through her as reality settled in. The anger and murderous haze drained out of her in an instant. She reached for his face, her fingers ghosting over the cuts and bruises she'd inflicted, guilt and horror flooding her veins. "Cadmium, are you—can you hear me?"

     His eyes fluttered open, dazed and unfocused. "Yeah...fine...I'm fine," he mumbled, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his bloodied swollen lips.

     Scarlet swallowed hard, bile rising in her throat as she scanned his injuries. Blood streaked across his face, his lip split, a dark bruise already forming along his jaw. At least one eye would be black and blue, already swelling shut.

     Her own knuckles were raw and bloody. All the proof necessary. She had done this to him.

     To Cadmium.

     Still, she forced herself to breathe. They couldn't stay here and he needed help—to clean the wounds at the very least. She shifted off him, wincing with each flinch her brother gave. Scarlet cupped the back of his head and slipped her arm around his shoulders to help him get to his feet.

     "Come on, Cad, let's get you home."

***

     They walked in silence, Cadmium's arm slung over her shoulder as they moved through the dim evening toward the house. The wind whipped around them, stinging the cuts and blood on her skin. She tried to shield Cadmium the best she could. It was the least she could do, but his steps were slow and heavy, dragging through the snow.

     She tried talking to him, but since his first fumbled response, he hadn't answered to her at all. He leaned heavily on her, putting weight on her sore ankle and making the journey even harder. But with each step, riddled with pain, it felt fair—almost like justice—an echo of her guilt—how could she have done this to him—to Cadmium?

     Scarlet readjusted her hold on him, his arm slung around her shoulders as they passed through the Victor's community gates. "Almost home." She murmured, not sure if she was reassuring him or herself.

     Together, they stumbled up the snow-covered steps of their front porch, nearly tumbling over one another as Scarlet tried to balance her brother while moving up. Cadmium leaned against the brick outside as Scarlet opened the door. Quietly, she pulled her brother inside, before shutting the door behind them.

     She pulled him along through the empty hallway of their home, heading to the bathroom, which was near the kitchen. Please don't be there. Please don't—

     Harmony's slender form appeared; her coarse blond hair pulled up high on her head in a pile of braids as her hands sat on the tops of her hips. A disapproving scowl marred her otherwise pretty, but weathered face.

     Her eyes widened, for a moment removing the contempt from their mother's face, as she took in Cadmium, who was still leaning heavily upon Scarlet.

     "Cadmium—what happened?!" Her eyes turned sharply to Scarlet, shifting from worry to accusation. Harmony reached for him, pulling Cadmium away from Scarlet, her fingers hovering near his jaw. "Who did this to you?"

     Scarlet stiffened, instantly wanting to pull her brother away from Harmony, but guilt kept her arms at her side. "He...got into a fight," she muttered, looking down at the ground, unable to meet her mother's searing gaze.

     When she raised her eyes, she found Harmony's eyes caught low on Scarlet's body. She looked down, wincing as she saw what her mother had no doubt just noticed. Bruised and bloodied knuckles. Frozen trails of blood running down to her black claw fingertips.

     "You did this, didn't you?" Her silent voice cut through the air, sharp and furious. Her expression was as dark as Scarlet had ever seen it. She felt her chest tighten and her shoulders bow inwards.

     "No...I didn't—" For once she was desperate to explain. She would never hurt Cadmium. Not intentionally.

     But you did hurt Cadmium. An inner voice whispered, freezing her tongue.

     Harmony's hand shot out, too quick for Scarlet to deflect. The blow sent her into the hallway wall. Her cheek burned as she stared up at her mother. It wasn't shock that she felt—at least, not at her mother's actions—but still she was speechless. Eyes wide, mouth open, hands bracing herself against the wall.

     For once, she was completely defenseless, directly in her mother's warpath.

     "You think you can just do to him what you did to Crimson?! I won't let you hurt him, too!"

     The accusation hit her harder than the slap had, waking her from the numbness. She felt her own anger rising in return, and along with it, the urge to throw the truth back in Harmony's face—she wanted to shout that it wasn't her fault—it was Harmony's! She was the one who had made them slaughter-children, and it was her lies that had twisted their family.

     But then her eyes caught on her brother. Still standing completely bloodied and dazed in the hallway—giving no reaction to any of the commotion around him—and the guilt welled up again, silencing her.

     Maybe she was not responsible for how she had ended up in that Arena. But she had fought Crimson. She had killed him. And, as she stared at her brother's broken face, she had done this.

     Scarlet stumbled back, away from the two of them, blinking back tears as she turned, and ran back the way she came.

     Cadmium, I'm sorry.

***

     The next morning, Scarlet left the basement early, having retreated there, unable to face her family or...or Cadmium.

     Guilt and confusion had warred in her mind as she spent the night trying to figure out what had happened. She still didn't understand—but it was not a lack of understanding that kept her away. It was shame.

     How could she have run away? Cadmium had needed help, and she had just left him there with Harmony. Had their mother taken care of him? Had she helped him wash his wounds and clean them? Or had he been left to deal with everything on his own?

     Scarlet wandered past the first boundary, her steps carrying her to the edge of the field, the air thick and heavy with the scent of pines. If she was caught, she would be whipped—Victor or not—but that would be what she deserved, and that thought had her stomping through the snow without her usual quietness and care.

     Finally, she found her way to the large White Ash tree, its branches spreading out above her, like clawed fingers reaching toward the ever-cloudy sky. There she huddled near the bark, staring out at the pine forest woods so similar to the ones that haunted her dreams and frequented her nightmares.

     The solitude felt like a punishment, one she knew she deserved. She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there when she felt a weight settle in next to her, a brush of his shoulder against hers.

     She didn't have to look to know who it would be. There was only one person who would seek her out—especially after last night.

     She turned toward him, her heart weary at what she might find. It was not quite as bad as she expected, but it was worse than it ever should have been. His face bore fresh bruises, one eye swelled shut and black and blue. His lower lip was cracked, swollen and thick. Guilt tightened her throat.

     Cadmium spoke first, breaking the silence between them. "I figured you'd be out here. How's your head?"

     Her head? Oh, right. In the midst of everything else, she had completely forgotten about the tender knot at the back of her head. But who cared about her? She was not the one left only half conscious.

     "Cad..." Her voice trailed off, but she forced herself to keep looking at him. "Why did you stop fighting?"

     Yes, she had been at fault. She was responsible for this—but why had he stopped fighting back? Why hadn't he defended himself? He might not have won the fight between them, but he could have prevented so much damage from being done.

     Cadmium shrugged, a faint, sad smile tugging at his lips. "Because I didn't want to stop you."

     The words hit her like a blow causing her to jerk back away from him. "But you could have been hurt worse than this." Her throat tightened as last night played through her mind. "I wanted to kill you." If she had gotten her hands on a weapon... Scarlet shook the thought away, to horrified to finish the thought.

     "I was going to stop you—I tried—at first." Cadmium said, a frown marring his face as he tried to gather his thoughts. "But then I just...didn't want to, Scarlet." He looked at her and then looked down. She watched him scoop up a handful of snow in his hand, squeezing it tightly. She knows it stings, because the wind is bitter and the snow is like ice, but he just shudders, his hand squeezing harder.

     When he opened his hand, all the snow had melted, and he raised his gaze back to hers. "Sometimes I...I need it—pain. Like sometimes you need to fight. I need it to feel...right. But sometimes...sometimes I just want it. It's all I can think about and when it's an option right in front of me—" he swallowed— "I can't stop myself, Scarlet—I couldn't stop myself."

     His words terrified her. Because a part of her understood him so clearly. The itch under her skin. The way she needed to fight. Unable to think rationally or clearly, only acting on instinct.

     "You scared me, Cadmium." She whispered haltingly. He opened his mouth, his expression twisted up with a mixture of pain and regret, but she cut him off before he could utter a word. "But I scared me more."

      There were no comforting words to give from each other. They had both crossed a line last night—one that could never be uncrossed. Scarlet wasn't sure where to go from there, torn between the need to help her brother and the fear of going too far.

     They sat side by side in silence, neither speaking nor moving. It felt good being here with her brother. Like a bandage she hadn't known she needed for the wound last night had caused.

     Cadmium grabbed her hand, lacing his icy fingers through hers. She glanced over at him, raising a brow.

     "Happy birthday, Scarlet."

    She didn't respond in words. Instead, she squeezed his hand in hers and leaned her head against his shoulder, staring out into the pine forest.

     Happy birthday, Crimson.