Second last:"(

"Don't even think about lying to me". He warned as he sits on the couch waiting for her to speak

He didn't want to continue that conversation in the middle of the road where people were being noisy. He wanted to have her somewhere calm and comfortable knowing she hates interaction and public to begin with.

"Why do you care?" She asked, trying to move away from him

He holds her hand, "Please, Roha. I need to know who is harming you".

"No one can harm me worse than myself".

"Then why do you do it?"

"Why do I have to tell you anything? Just get back with your lover and leave me alone".

"Why will I go back to her?" He asked, confused, "I am already married".

"So? You told me you love her. Is your love that weak?" She snapped angrily

"What are you on about?" He said, stiffening

"You are a coward, Ismail. Just a coward. You are the one who didn't fight for your love. You didn't even try to do anything for the love that you claim. You hide behind the fact that your mother forced you, but did you even try? How can a man be so weak to not even do anything for someone he claims to love?"

"Roha". He said, trying to stop her

"No". She snapped, standing from her place, "You need to hear this. It wasn't her fault that she loved you. She was a brave woman who choose you over everyone else. She was ready to let her family hate her probably her whole life. She was ready for your family hate too. She was ready to give it all and conquer her fears for you. You were a coward who broke her. A man is permitted to marry a woman without taking any permission from his parents. How dare you blame me for this? How dare you point at me that I am the reason she is not in your life?" She jabs her fingers on his shoulder, "You are the reason she is not in your life".

She went out of the room as she walks towards the garden. Once she was there and away from him she broke down. She shouldn't have shouted and said all that. She has no right. She is no one.

He stayed in the room as her words settle deep within him. He is a coward who hides behind women. Maybe it is because he has always been with his mother that he develops that habit. She was always his shield and somehow he has made his mother something more of it. He has seen how his mother acted on various occasions and he let her think that she didn't have anything else in her life.

But that freedom and leverage made his mother into something else. Maybe the fact that he was disabled had added to that factor too. All in all, he was a coward. Just like she said.

"So, are you done?" He asked, sitting beside her

"Have you lost your mind?"

He laughs, "Why do you say that?"

"I just called your name and shouted at you".

"So?"

"What are you on about?"

"I know for a fact that you were saying the truth. Although you were actually trying to restore to a defensive mechanism so that I don't ask any more questions which is why I asked are you done?"

He turns towards her, placing the ice pack on her cheeks, "Remember when you asked what I do for living such a luxurious life?"

She nodded meekly.

"I am a psychologist. I remember how it felt to know to never see again. Although I was born with it I used to think that's what everyone sees in my early years until one day, I realise that was not it". He said softly, "The moment I had to choose to be anything I choose to be a person that can help other through that part".

"Why?"

"Because in our society mental health is taking for granted. Even in the worse of tragedies, people want you to just be ok. They don't let you digest it and they don't allow you to break through the pain. They just want you to start with your life as nothing happened". He said, sighing and she wince when she felt the pain throbbing through her head, "I was the same. My parents never understood that the day I realised the truth, it was as if someone ripped a part of me away. It was hard to overcome it, and to continuous know that your parents want you to be fine, chipping and successful. That pressure stayed on me for a long time. In a similar way society wanted me to be ok after my father's death".

"I guess it's good to be a psychologist". She said smiling, "Since you can't actually see someone there will be no judgement from that".

He rolls his eyes, "You think people judge just by looks?"

"People mostly judge by looks. They are all just saying to not judge a book by it's cover. We all do the same and want to believe we don't".

"So who hurt you?"

"Why are you not mad at me?"

"Why were you not mad at me?"

"I am no one important".

"Because you are important to me". He said shrugging, "I know you won't believe me. I know you have the insecurities that are instilled in you. I can't change you. I won't change you. But, I will do my best to remind you of how worthy you are".

She snickers, "Good luck with that".

"You must have not noticed one of your husband's qualities". He said smiling, "I am very consistent in what I want to believe in".

"You must have not noticed your wife's quality". She said, looking at the moon, "I always defeat your stance".

"Facts".

"So, why do you sleep all the time?"

She sighs, "Really? Is it my storytime?"

"Why not?"

She took a deep breath placing her head on her knees as she tilts her head looking at him.

"My parents are just different. I don't know how to say it. My father abuses my mother". She pauses watching to have any reaction but he didn't give anything away, "He was married to her by force. He started abusing just a couple of years later. Not that he was great in the beginning. He used to have her work for all his siblings day in and out. Use her and emotionally abuse her. The physical abuse started and it only got worse. No one helped or told my mother that what he was doing was wrong. She always thought she did something and people made her believe that she did something bad". She sighs, "I believe that too. While watching every day my mother being abused and looked down on. I developed it too".

"What do you mean?"

"Our house is like an office with a mean boss. Everyone looks at the boss to see if he is in good mood. Everyone is on high alert all the time to not make mistakes. Everyone is quiet about the boss behaviour and yet they serve him. Pretty much how my house works".

"So you developed insecurities". He analyses, "You think you are not good enough for anything. When you do things you believe that you did worse. You don't want to confront people, and deal with them because you are always scared of them. You don't share your feelings and thoughts because you think it will burden others. You think that speaking out will annoy people. Not speaking out seem to distant people. You put everyone first and never think of yourself. You can't say no. You want to hide away somewhere so no one gets close to you because you are sure that they will break you".

She nodded, "That is why I started developing the habit of sleeping. That was the only time I could silence my thoughts and escape the reality of the world. I choose to sleep so that I don't have to do anything with people. Whenever I am in public I feel everyone is judging me. I can't even say a sentence if someone talks or speaks to me. I am just waste on earth".

He purses his lips hating the fact that her father installed a fear of everything in her. She over analyses words, situations, feelings and people. And worse of all, she will never stop.

She looks at the beautiful building of the orphanage and she couldn't help but admire her husband more. The place was a haven for these children. She saw how every person he has kept to take care of the children was well educated and maintained. She knows he tests these people from time to time to be sure that they are doing well.

"Your wife seems to love children". His manager- Zakirah said looking at her

"Would you mind explaining exactly what she looks like?"

"She looks happy or radiant. She looks like she found a world where she belongs. Her smile is absolutely heartwarming. Her eyes twinkle whenever children look at her. She giggles at the silly words the children say and the worry appears whenever she looks a little too deeply about the children perhaps she worries for their future". Zakirah stops as she looks a little more, "She looks--".

"Alive". He said smiling, "My wife looks alive".

"That would be right. She looks like a lost soul".

"She is another one of those pure souls that don't know how beautiful they are and believe that they are a devil". He spoke and sadness lingering in his voice, "I wish there was a way to have these souls not go through this tragedy".

"Some souls are meant to taste the tragedy to know the worth of what is important in this artificial and polluted world. That's just how they learn to walk on this crusty path".

"That doesn't mean that it didn't hurt".

"It is supposed to hurt. We never realise the blessing of being healthy is until we are going through sickness. That just how it is. It's a flu that they get, and it is on them what they make out of it". Zakirah said patting his shoulder, "You found your match. Cherish her so she knows what she is worth".

She looks around to find her husband because they were ready to cut the cake but she can't find him. She huffed hoping she can hit him once she finds him.

"Begum, kitni dafa mujhe maaro gi?" (Wifey, how many times will you kill me?)

"Kidhr the?" (Where were you?)

"Mai toh yahi tha per tum pata nahi kaha kaha nikali hoyi thi". (I was right here where were you?)

She rolls her eyes, holding his hand, "Come on. They are going to cut the cake".

"You seem to love children".

"Yes. They are adorable and they don't judge so I don't feel unsafe".

"How about we have one then?"

She purse her lips, blushing, "I said I like other people children. You know the one you hold when they are in good mood".

He laughs, pulling her towards him and she collided with his chest, "We can have one and I can take care of it when he/she is not in a good mood. What say?"

She slaps his chest, "What is it? It's a living being, not a thing. And why are you so strong?"

"I do gym".

Her eyes widen, "What? I never saw you work out?"

"You want to see my work out?" He said smirking knowing she is a tomato now which he loves, "I work out in the morning when you are asleep".

Guess she has to get up early now.

The second party is what she actually dressed up for. She didn't want to embarrass him in front of the people. And the party almost made her want to crawl back before she even went in. Her anxiety was in full alert. She felt suffocated.

"What are you worrying about?" He whispers to her and she felt her body leaning more to him

"I don't know how to do makeup and I only did what I know. These people look like professionals and they must think I am a loser. No, I am a loser. I can't do anything right".

"Does it matter?"

"What?"

"Do you think these people will appreciate you if you were dressed like them?" He said, turning her to him as he leans back to the wall, "They will judge you on anything even if you are made of gold they will say why not silver. Don't think of them".

"It's not that easy".

"Then think of me". 

"What?"

He leans closer to her, "Think of me. Think of what you want from me, what you crave from me and what you wish to be with me. Think of only about how I look and how I would look in other time". He kissed her on the side of her lips, "Think of me, baby".

She did. She thought of that kiss and him the whole time. She didn't even know until then that she could have these emotions deep within her. That his words and gestures could impact her this way.

She did wake up early. She quietly walks through the house towards the gym that she found last night when she was trying to know the places in this house.

As she walks towards the gym she felt her heart starting to beat loudly. She opens the door entering quietly as she watches him sweating profusely. She shouldn't have come here.

"How are you awake so early, wifey?" He asked amused

"Don't call me that".

He raises an eyebrow, "Your defence is up again. What are you hiding this time?"

"I-I am not hiding anything". She said, stepping back when he starts to walk towards her, "How do you even know it was me?"

"I told you I can know when it's you".

"I don't believe you".

He smiles, leaning towards her trying to be as accurate as he could because he loves making her flustered.

"Test me then until you believe it".

"I will". She said, running out of the room and she took a deep breath once she entered the room only to let out a scream

She heard the room door opening loudly and her husband walks in trying to find her and she quickly hide behind him.

"Why do you have a man in your room?" His mother shouted looking at the half-naked man, "Is he your lover?"

"Lover?" Her husband asked confused and she felt her heart stopping at the incoming accusation on her

She is in trouble.