She rolls her eyes for the millionth time, "I don't want to work".

"Why is that? He asked, curiously, "Everyone has something they want to do".

"Not me".

She turns to her book reading the same paragraph as he works beside her. She has to say in a month beside the usual bartering here and there, he was pretty good at his work. She didn't know much about it. She doesn't know if she should ask him. Will he even answer?

"What do you work on?" She asked, trying to not look at him

"Children".

"What on children?"

"I help children who are like me to get facilities".

"What else? Even if you help them you can't possibly have this much luxury".

"You think I do something illegal?"

"That would be so cool".

He stares blankly, that was his usual, "What if I don't? Will you leave?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes".

"Too bad. You were the first to agree to this marriage, and you are the reason I am stuck here listening to your mother rants all day so I am not leaving now".

"Well if you try to do something with your life it won't be that boring".

"Reality differs from dreams".

"You have dreams?"

"I-I never said that". She stands to move away when he holds her hand bringing her back

She looks at his face so close to her, and her heart starts to beat louder. She hadn't seen him from close mostly because she was irritated by him. He looks so handsome.

"You are staring".

"How do you know that?"

"I have high senses. I can feel when someone looks at me".

"Wait. So if we are in a room filled with people, can you differentiate between them? Can you tell-".

"Can I tell if you are looking at me among those people?"

"Can you?"

"Perhaps".

She snickers, "Your answers are as cunning as you".

"What are you trying to hide?"

Her lips purse.

"There is something you are hiding from everyone. Why are you doing that?"

"I am not hiding anything". She snapped trying to take her hand away, "Let me go".

"Why?"

"Let me go".

She heard the loud banging of the door and she felt her heart-stopping. She bend down trying to take a deep breath to calm herself. The fear starts to settle in her system and his hand on her hand was making it impossible to hide away.

"Why is behaving like a psycho?" His mother asked

He frowns when he felt her body tighten in itself. Her breathing was too fast and from her wrist, he can feel her heart was beating too loud. Before he could have done something his mother ripped his hand away from her and he tries to find her again but she was gone.

So was his mother. He understands that his mother must have dragged her out with her. And he shouldn't be worrying about her. Yeah, why should he?

But he is worrying. That wasn't a normal reaction. He knows. There was nothing unusual why would she react that way? It couldn't be because be touched her. She would have reacted immediately if that was the case.

Then what?

"Bhai". He heard his younger brother say after an hour, "You need to take your wife away".

"What's going on?"

She didn't realise when his mother manage to drag her out of the room. She didn't even get to do anything when she was pushed in front of thousands of women dressed way too extra.

She could feel the judging eyes on her skin. She could hear the thoughts that says she wasn't good enough for that man. That she was nothing and she was a liability to already poor blind man. She could hear all the thoughts. The fact that she could feel the heat in the environment as their words praise her but their eyes shame her. She could not stop her heart from clenching. She couldn't stop her brain from thinking. She couldn't stop the aching and she wants to run. She wants to run. She has to run.

But they will judge her if she does that, right? They will probably call her names. Can she handle that? But can she handle this? The weight appears on her shoulder which was stiffened because of the high anxiety and she could feel her mind blocking from all sane thoughts.

She should have stayed hidden. She should have stayed inside. She should have done better. She should be better. Why is she the worse? Why is she a loser?

Why?

She tries to breathe, she really did try but nothing helps. When they ask her questions no words left her mouth. It was as if she never learn to speak. She couldn't even work properly. God, she felt like dying. Maybe dying was better.

She cannot change what she has become. Maybe dying is much better.

She is not good enough in anything.

"Roha". She felt someone's hand on her shoulder and she looks to find her husband, "I have been calling you for a while now".

She felt like crying. Even when he didn't say anything, she just wants to cry.

"She is your wife, Ismail?" He heard one of the aunts say and the way she said it he knows this is one of the aunts who brings proposals all the time from him

"Indeed. Isn't she amazing?" He said smiling, as he sits beside her and he feel the weariness in her body

He tries to locate her hand, and he wishes she could just find his hand instead to hold on. He didn't expect her hands to be this cold and he felt a little something like a liquid in a small amount but he felt it.

Blood.

He tries to calm himself to not go off in front of these ladies knowing if they see her or this situation they will hurt her more than they already have.

"I wouldn't say that". Aunt replied and he snickers, "I have so many beautiful and amazing career women who match you, why did you marry her?"

He hides her bleeding hand under his hand hoping that the blood doesn't show on their clothes. She didn't even open the fist that she had made and he really wants her to open it. She is hurting herself. She is making herself bleed. It is almost like she is cutting herself.

"Because they can't take care of me as she does". He replied rigidly

He knows his mother created this event not because she wanted to show off his wife, but because she wanted to degrade her. He will never understand what fun people have in that.

"We all know the truth". The aunt replied, "She just sleeps all day".

"How is that a bad thing?" He asked, obviously done with this thing

"A woman should handle all the responsibilities of the house she lives in. How do you think the house becomes a house?"

He tries to open her finger which she was holding so tightly.

"I don't think so. We have people who are getting paid to do the chores. She doesn't need to take any responsibility that she doesn't want to".

"So she is just living off your money and doing nothing in return?"

"She has every right on my money. I earn that money to bring comfort for my family". He said, standing from his place, "I don't like any outsider or insider insulting my wife and judging her. I hope you all know your place and her place. If I ever see anyone bad-mouthing her again, you will never enter this house again".

"How can you insult my friends like that?" His mother snapped

"How can you insult my wife like that?" He taunted as he drag her away from the place

She barely manage to get in the room as he shuts the door behind him, she ran. He heard her footsteps moving towards their walk-in closet. He took a deep breath sitting on the couch letting her have the time she needs to pull herself together.

This is not normal.

She sits in one of the clothes hanging closets trying to shake off the weariness that settles within her. She cannot do anything better. She cannot speak when needed. She can't make people happy with her. She is the worst.

"Are you going to eat?" She heard his voice as she watches him take steps and she hope he can't find her

But he sits right in front of her.

"You do realise that I know the in and out of this place?" He asked settling on the ground at a good distance she was thankful for

"I am not hungry". Her voice was low and patched, "I don't eat much".

"If I didn't live a month with you I would have agreed to that statement". He said playfully and she didn't give any reaction, "But my bank account says otherwise".

"Is there a way I can pay you back? I will do anything you want me to do. You don't have to spend money on me".

He frowns. He meant it as a joke not for her to take it seriously.

"No. That's not--".

She stands from her place, "Do you want me to handle your day? I can do the ironing and I can--".

He moves his hand to hold her wrist, pulling her to him. He wrapped his hands around her tightly when she starts to struggle.

"It's ok to cry when you feel like it".

"I-I don't want to cry. I want to sleep".

"Why do you like sleeping so much?"

"What do you feel when you sleep?" She said pushing him and she stands at a good distance

"Nothing".

"Exactly".

"So to not feel anything you choose to sleep all the time?"

"Maybe I feel too much and the only time I can let myself have a break is when my thoughts have no power over me".

"You can train your mind". He said, taking a step towards her

She took a step back with a dry chuckle, "I am not the cleverest person on earth".

"All you have to do is stop those thoughts, Roha".

"I can't". She shouted angrily, "Do you think this is fun? Do you think I like being this way? Do you even know how hard it is to be a failure in our society?"

"Roha--". He started

"I want to sleep". She said, running to the sofa and laying on it

She close her eyes tightly when she heard his footsteps. With a little luck, she has he didn't come near her instead went to close the lights and leave the room.

Just as the door closes she breaks down. Her tears start to flow freely as she curses herself and her life. She tries to not make a sound to not have anyone know that she is crying. She did her best to be discreet about her hard emotions.

For a 27 years old she was a failure. In her studies she was never clever enough to score. Her teachers always kept her behind in everything because of it. Because of her minimum socialization skills she never get to make friends and most people took her as arrogant.

Her head starts to hurt painfully when she was done crying, and her body drained. She cannot even sleep with the pain in her head. Her eyes were heavy and her shoulder felt like someone placed a burden on them. God, she is just the worse.

She heard the door opening and immediately pretended to be asleep. She silences her cries and running nose as much as possible as she places a pillow over her. He wouldn't know what she is doing anyway. She just doesn't want him to hear anything.

He rips the pillow from her face and she groaned.

"What?" She asked, feeling bad about snapping at him earlier

"Take this medicine". He said softly as he forward his hand to her which she just noticed had a pain reliever in it, "My mom is super angry".

"Tell me something new".

"You are going to your parents place tomorrow".

Her head stops in the air as she digests his words. Are they finally going to send her away? Has she finally done it? Has she gone over the line? What did she do?

He place his hand under the glass bringing it to her lips, "You didn't do anything. It's just a simple visit. I will be there around 8 to pick you, ok?"

How did he know what she is thinking? Did she say it out loud? Does he think she is a freak?

"Silence your thoughts". He said, placing a hand over her cheeks and now that she realise he had touched her more than he touched her in a month

"I am not thinking".

"You are overthinking".

She snickers, "What are you a mind reader now?"

"Pretty sure the correct term is a husband. But, whatever works for you".

She purses her lips, "Sweet talker".

He laughs naughty, "Someone has to be".

"Go away. You have annoyed me enough". She said smiling as she lightly push him away

He holds her hand that was on his left side of the chest as he spoke, "I promise I will pick you up tomorrow".

"You don't have to trouble--".

"I want to".

She sighs, "Ok. I am sleepy now".

"Go to your hibernation".

She chuckles, closing her eyes, and she didn't even take her hand away from his hand as sleep takes over her.

She moves from feet to feet outside of the door of her parent's house. She knows she shouldn't have come here. Maybe she can pretend to be somewhere else and come back when he is here to pick her? What if he calls her parents? Or what if she is late and he is already inside the house?

She really didn't want to do this.

She heard the neighbouring commenting on her lazy attire and unmistakable worth that she doesn't have to begin with.

The door open before she could have done something and her mother glaring at her.

She tries to put a smile on her face as she enters the house. She saw her father's angry face and feel the tension in the air.

Before she could have done something her mother slap restored through the empty house.

But the sound of her little heartbreak was never heard and never will be.