For the past few days, I can't believe the darkness and villain that surrounds us. I know for a fact that evil lives within us, but every time I see a child, women, elderly or even men being victim to it, just breaks my heart a little more.

I have seen cases after cases and hashtags circulating, but no justice and no strong steps whatsoever. I believe more than the government, the people who feed these monsters are to be held responsible. I usually don't go on parents because somehow today's generation don't even respect or follow them.

BUT, the fact that their parents helps them to commit these crimes and get away with it has everything to do with parents. It is their fault. The monster can't be tamed, not fed to keep down. The monster needs to be caged. God, I just feel so awful. The thought of a women head being cut off is so disturbing.

Every time this happens, I feel powerless, helpless and there are so many things/people I want to school and shout on.

I am just mentally disturbed, shaken and in constant fear. I hope we all stay safe and not let these monster free.

Please stay safe. As much as I preach and support the freedom for women, the world is dirty, and we can't deny the fact. Take steps, stay safe.

***

She sips the coffee as she reads a book in a cafe near her workplace. It is rare, very rare, that she takes time out of her work to be anywhere else. Mostly because she knows if she is gone, there will be an officer who will turn people away.

But, the exhaustion from all her thoughts brings her nearer to the books to escape from it. The more she reads, the stable she is. At least, there is no one judging her.

"Good to see you again, officer". She heard someone say as she jolts, looking at Zakir, with a frown, "You are looking at me like I am a criminal".

She rolls her eyes, going back to her book when she heard the scraping of the chair in front of her and he planted himself without her permission.

She raises her eyebrows as he spoke, "What? We have things to discuss. Do you want me to stand and talk?"

She nodded.

"No. I will sit and talk". He added smiling and she sighs

It's been a month. A month after that suicide incident and she marched off after that little confrontation. She wasn't in the mood for any more dialogue with people who will never change.

She just knows the girl managed to live and she doesn't know if she will truly live.

"Are you there?" He asked, waving his hands in front of her and she blinks, "Ok. I have you now".

She purses her lips, taking her book out to write and ask him what he wants when he places his hand on her book.

"I am here to show you something". He said, grinning as she leans back and he signs next, "My new talent. Did you like it?"

Her eyes widen as she signs, "You learned it? How? This fast?"

He shrugged, "I threaten my friend to have his wife teach me, and I was on the hospital bed for a month so I had all the time in the world".

She nodded, impressed, "So, what do you have to talk about?"

"First teach me how to say your name?" He said, looking at her attentively, "I learned everything besides the names. They are too many and hard".

She chuckles silently and he likes how her lips twitch at his words. At least, that was the near smile he saw of her.

She signs her name and he starts to insist to show his name.

"Now, what do you want from me?" She asked, looking at her book which she left since he came in

He was about to speak when her phone rang and her mother had unusually texted her through the day for her location. She sent her location, thinking maybe she is worried for her safety for once. She places the phone down, looking at him to find him looking at her.

"So?"

"Right". He said, taking the same money envelope from his pocket, placing it on the table, "We never decided the terms for this one".

"We need to have terms?" She asked, confused

He nodded, "Of course. Nothing is free and I won't accept it unless you give something back to me".

She frowns, "What can I give you?"

"That is an interesting question. How about why you reacted that way in the hospital?"

She stilled.

"You won't tell me?" He asked and she shakes her head, "Ok. How about if you meant what you said?"

"What I said?"

"About the suicide not being the girl's fault?"

"I said it because I meant it".

He was about to speak when someone interrupted them.

"Is this how you work? With new man every day?" She heard someone say and she turns to the unfamiliar man

"Do you know this man?" He asked and she shakes her head, "I think you have the wrong person".

"I do not". The man snapped, "I am Israr and your mother sent me here to meet you".

Her eyes widen as she looks at her phone to find her mother one text, telling her that she better behave herself.

"Is it true?" He asked, a little upset because he wanted to speak to her

"I didn't know about this. My mother set me up". She explained

"So, do you want to meet this man?" He asked, disgusted because the man didn't give a good vibe

"Look at how you are behaving with your potential husband". The man snapped, "I will never marry a woman who even looks at another man and you are here freely speaking to this man".

She wanted to snap at him.

"I cannot believe that you are mute and yet you dare to flirt with--" 

He holds the man collar, "I would shut up now".

She feels her chest tightened. Her panic was building in her. She doesn't want this. She does not want this.

"Why would I? She should kill herself. She is a bitc--". The man started and he had enough of him so he punched him

"Come on. You don't have to go through this". He said, urging her as she pushes herself to the exit

She walks ahead of him, until she reaches a corner and she bends down, trying to regulate her breathing. She can't keep doing this. Every time, these proposals push her to a deep hole. She can't just continue to fight everything.

Kill yourself. Kill yourself. You don't deserve to live.

"Rania?" He called as he sits in front of her, "Hey? Are you ok?"

She shakes her head, looking at her trying to ask him to call Dalila for her. Because she can use a shoulder right now. She needs a shoulder.

"I am sorry. I don't get what you are saying". He said worriedly

"Your friend's wife?"

"Dalila. Yes, I can call her. Wait". He immediately dials the number, informing her everything

She continued to breathe until she heard a few shouts and Dalila walks straight to Zakir.

"Ok. Where is he? Where is he so I can beat the shit out of him?" Dalila said, pushing her sleeves up

"I did it". Zakir said, shaking his head, "She needs you".

Dalila turns towards her, immediately embracing her. She felt a weight getting lighter by the warmth of her hug.

"Do you want to crash at my place? My husband is on a trip, so it's fine". Dalila suggested

She nodded hesitating. She didn't want to become a burden on them, like she is a burden on her mother. She heard her phone ring as she stands with Dalila help.

"How can you do something this dirty? Another man? I told you to get married for years and you always rejected my proposals. Just to bring me this shame?" Her mother screams and her eyes brimmed with tears

Dalila takes the phone out of her hand, ending the call.

"We don't have to listen to people who hurt us". Dalila pauses, "Even if they are our parents".

She sits in her house, shaking her legs as she finds him in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked confused

"I have free access to this place". He said, shrugging

"How?"

"I have hands in these idiots marriage".

"You have no hands in our marriage, Zakir". Dalila said, walking back with a cold drink, "I was the one who did everything".

"Please, that idiot only understood everything because of me". He said, rolling his eyes

"Is that so?" Dalila asked

"I am not leaving this house. I have some matter to discuss with her". He said hurriedly

"Fine. You do that. I will be back". Dalila said, walking away

"I won't take the money". She said stern

"Look, if my father didn't see his money go, you will be in trouble".

"I don't care. I said, I don't want this money".

He sighs, "How about just give it to someone in need?"

"Your father's job is to serve the people and those in need".

He laughs dryly, "You actually think my father is in that position to serve the people? That's all in book and fantasy. No one that high, is there without doing something bad and not even a single person is there without continuing to do bad".

"You do realise I am an officer?"

"I know". He started, when his phone rings with his family meeting, "I have to leave. We have to think of ways to use this money".

She sighs.

She didn't like sitting peacefully. She didn't want to waste time, so she decided to go on a hunt for the case file that had lived with her for the past eleven years.

He enters his house which is no less of a castle because the President needs protection. He just didn't think a man like his father deserves it. He has never taken part in his father's doing. That doesn't make him the right man. He was equally a sinner. A sinner who stayed quiet when the wrongdoer did what they did.

That is partly the reason he believes that he didn't deserve anyone in his life much less a happy life like his friend.

"Why am I here?" He asked, as he enters the lounge where his father was busy with his party people

"Is this a way to speak to me?" His father screamed, after sending everyone out

"This is not even half the way I should be speaking to you".

There has to be a misconception. What if one parent is a criminal or more, are they supposed to stay quiet in respect? Is that respect? Shouldn't they speak up? 

He almost at times feel guilty for speaking the way he did because of the wrong teaching. That submitting in front of his parents was necessary to show respect.

It isn't. It wasn't. Not when they are going against religion and humanity.

But, he was a coward. A coward who is holding onto a woman for support. There was absolutely no reason for him to go to her. Besides, that she did have his interest. He likes how her eyes can speak volumes in a simple sentence she is trying to convey. How she will always look frustrated by explaining to people that she is special. Almost had him smiling at her frown and glare she sends his way.

He isn't scared of anyone, not even her. But, showing the form of submission to her is fun. He didn't even feel forced to do so, he enjoys it. The way her eyes always lit up when she sees that her actions have caused him to step back is genuinely fun.

He can't break that satisfaction of hers.

"We are having guests over". His mother added in the fire that was already burning

"Why do I have to waste my time in that?"

"Because they are my going to become my partner". His father spoke

Which means they are selling me. He thoughts

"Yeah. I will never agree to that". He said, turning to leave

"You have to do it. I have been feeding you for a reason". His father said, holding his collar

He places his hand over his father's hand, "You need help. Serious help for your obsession and inferiority complex. I have sacrificed enough for your filthy desires, I will not take part in them anymore".

"What is going on?" He heard someone say as he turns to find the richest man in his country, "We can come back another time".

Don't bow down. Don't bend down. Don't.

He wasn't good enough for a woman. He knows. He had let down one. And, he was not planning to have another in his pathetic life. Not everyone deserves to have a partner and a lover at that especially not a weak man.

Lover and wife, they deserve the world which means not only sweet talks and flattering, it means to have a man who can stand for them and protect them from this filthy world and protect them even from his own family.

He was not good enough.

He can barely speak for himself and a wife is just a factor he has chosen to not add in it. He never had his heart flutter, never saw other women in any way, never interacted with females as a whole.

Because it is not allowed and does not develop any feelings. Why was it so easy to speak to her? Why did he run to her?

He had a busy schedule today, yet he had pressured Dalila to inform him where she could be to which Dalila plain out rejected. She was a weird kind of loyal to her people.

So, he went to the station for a fake complaint when he didn't find her there, he had almost given up because using his guards or men will alert his father, but he found her in a nearby cafe. He almost was overjoyed and he had to calm himself down, mask his emotions and he did check himself out before going to her.

Yeah, he is getting weird.

There was something. Something about the ways she looks at things. Something deep in her eyes. Like she was hiding a world inside of her, that no one has known. That no one was fortunate enough to discover. That hidden treasure that she holds back and that fire that brimmed in her from time to time.

It all stimulates something within him. He feels giddiness and freedom around her. Something he never truly had.

"What do you like?" The girl in question for his marriage whose name he didn't bother to learn asked

"I like my peace which comes from not getting married". He said, having enough of this show because he had stayed back for dinner and after dinner discussion

He stands from the couch, "I will say this once. I will not marry your daughter no matter what".

He starts to move out when he heard his father's phone ringing and one of his party man running inside. He was glad at most part because it means that his father won't come for his head, for now.

The next day, he picks up the sunflower from a shop. He opens the metal gate, taking steps towards the one place he needs to be. With every step, he felt the heaviness on his body and his heart starts to open his deepest wound to bleed.

He stops when he finds a figure right in front of the place where he was going. His eyes narrow as he looks to find who it is and his eyes widen when he realises who it actually is.

"Rania, what are you doing in front of my sister's grave?"