You all, I love you :") I am just smiling cause you all understand what I meant by the little rant in the last chapter. Thank you for being with me, promise I will continue to write for you, no matter what 🥺💜

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"Come on, the food is ready". His mother broke the dilemma she was in

The dilemma of if she was liable to ask the reason for his sister death. Or simply say sorry for it?

Why do people say sorry? She never gets it. Does it make the people who lost feel better? It looks utterly stupid to them.

She nodded meekly as she saw the flashes of pain in his mother eyes. She sits at the table, looking at the food in front of her.

"Do you want to eat something else?" His mother asked concerned, "I had no idea what you will like so I cooked whatever I thought you might".

She looks at a large amount of food bewildered, "No! I am just- I am just thankful. Thank you for everything".

I don't have time to sit down and eat with you.

Be a grown woman and eat yourself.

You should learn how to cook. Am I your maid? Do you think I am here to serve you?

You don't have time to eat. Just grab a quick bite and we have another shooting.

She remembers, sitting in the worn-down house, on cold ground as she waits for her mother to sit with her to enjoy the food. She had heard her friends speak about how their mother feed them and how they will always cook for them.

While all she ate was instant food and liquid, that is if they had money. Once she had money, she had no time.

She continued to watch her food as she feels a tugging in her heart. She raises her hand to eat, wincing because now that the medicine has worn out, everything hurts.

"This won't do". His mother said, sitting beside her as she makes a spoon for her, "Let me do it".

She turns to look at his mother and the small warm smile on her face almost wanted her to break down. Even when she could see the pain, deep in his mother eyes, they were still cheering her. Even when she (his mother) was hurt and wanted to cry, she was still here caring for her.

A tear escapes her eyes which she quickly wipes away, letting his mother feed her. She feels the warmth of her motherly travel through her body, somehow giving her the power to fight the darkness in her.

"I have to leave for work now". He said, standing from his place, "Is there anything you both need or anything I could get on my way back?"

She was about to say no when his mother spoke, "Actually, come back home early".

"Why?" He asked confused

"Because we are celebrating". His mother said smiling

"Um, ok?" He said walking away knowing his mother knows best

"What are we celebrating?" She asked once she was done with the food

"We are celebrating pain". His mother said smiling lightly, "Even if it's sadness we can celebrate it. Even if our heart hurts, we should celebrate it so someday, it starts to hurt less".

"What are we cooking?" She asked with a genuine smile, "If we are celebrating, we need a good cook, drinks, decorations and a cake".

Then she looks down sadly.

"What's wrong?" His mother asked, holding her hand

"I don't have my cards on me. I dropped them".

His mother slaps her hand lightly, "Pagal larki". (Stupid girl)

"Why did you hit me?" She whined

"Who takes money from their guests? My son earns enough and I don't spend much. Now that you are here, why don't you spend them?"

"Wouldn't that be wrong? He will get angry if I use his money like that".

"Tell him to try and get angry at you when I have your back. I will rip him limb to limb".

"Woah! I didn't knew you were into psycho type--"

"I am still your elder".

She gives a thumbs up, "You are amazing. But I don't want to waste more of his money".

His mother hits her head, "Have you seen my son smile?"

She nodded.

"Have you actually seen him smile?" His mother asked again

She thoughts for a moment and all his smile were to comfort her.

She shakes her head, "I haven't".

"Do you want to see him smile?"

Does she?

"If I can do that. I think I will feel better about staying here".

"I know if I tell you that he doesn't mind that you stay here, you will not understand". His mother said sighing, "My card is in my room. You can get them and use them".

"I won't step outside".

"Have you seen the sun?" His mother asked as she was going to walk away

"I have?".

"No. You never stopped and looked at it. Did you ever see the sunrise?"

She shakes her head, "I always got back home at sunrise".

"If you look at how the sun comes out, knocking down the darkness that the moon creates all night". His mother pauses placing her hand on her cheeks lovingly, "You will know that the sun never gives up. It continued for years to be out, no matter how long the darkness stayed".

She ordered everything online asking his guards to bring them in. She took her medicine so she doesn't feel much pain when she prepares everything.

"When did you learn to cook?" His mother asked as she heard the call to prayer before the sun goes down

"I learned when I was 10". She said adding the cake batter to the pan

"10?"

She nodded meekly, "My mother was a busy woman so I had to learn it to feed myself".

"Do you want to come to sit by my side while I pray?" His mother suggested

She placed the cake in the oven as she follows behind his mother. She watches as his mother continues to pray and that peace that wasn't in her face when she was walking around was now on her face. She continued to observe as his mother raised her hands and without any more words, she breakdown.

She feels her heart clench as she looks at his mother weeping, begging and breaking down to her Lord for a long time.

"Why did you not cry in front of us and cry here? There was no one to comfort you". She asked as his mother placed the prayer mat away

His mother smiles, "Why will I cry in front of anyone who can't help me or heal me?"

"HE can heal you?"

"If HE will".

She nodded silently as she starts to think about the time she had last prayed. It's been ages, she never even learned to properly pray because she was in this field at the age of 11. She didn't do normal schooling and once she was in a modelling agency, she was sent to an American school that didn't teach anything about Islam.

"Will you teach me?" She asked as they exit the room, "Will you please teach me everything? I want to learn how you can have such patience in your pain".

"Sub takleefein sabar karny wali nahi hoti, Rumi" (You do not stay patient on all your sufferings)

She frowns, "Matlab? Sub kahty hain k sabar karo woh sub se azeem cheez hai" (what do you mean? Everyone says to have patience as it is the best thing)

His mother shakes her head as tears brimmed her eyes, "Nahi. Sub takleefein sabar karny wali nahi hoti. Sub takleefo per sabar ka hukum bhi nahi hai. Yeh toh logo nae sabar ko is tarha dekhaya hai. Khuda nae toh kabhi nahi kaha tha k apni sub takleefo per sabr karo". (No. You don't have to be patient on all your sufferings. We are not asked to be patient on all our suffering. Lord never said to be patient on all your sufferings. People portrait patience in such manner)

She holds his mother hands concerned, "Kia matlab hai apka?" (What do you mean?)

His mother smiles sadly, "Yeh yaad rakhna k azmaish Allah ki taraf se zaror ati hai. Per do tarha ki hoti hain, ek jis mai sabar kiya jaye aur dosri jis ka samna kiya jaye. Yeh dekhna bohat zarori hai k konsa kub aur kaise karna hai". (Remember that trail are from the Lord. But there are two types of trail, one which you have to be patient and the other where you have to fight. Make sure you know what you have to do on which trail)

She heard the bell ringing and her feet carried her to the door a little excited. She opens the door to find a woman about her age standing in front of her. The woman pushes her away and she winces in pain as the woman enters.

"Mahira, how are you?" His mother asked as she saw the girl sitting down

"Is there a party? And you didn't tell me". Mahira said angrily

"It's nothing special. Just for our new guest". His mother said looking at her with a gentle smile

Mahira turns to her, "She looks familiar".

She immediately steps back to hide away from the look that Mahira eyes had.

"I know her". Mahira said gasping

She steps back trying to hide away but she had no idea what was she supposed to do. She didn't want to be found. She cannot be found. Not now. Not yet.

RUN.

She didn't even think for a second before she starts to take off, covering her face with the scarf that was on her head. She continued to run and run away from everything and everyone. She cannot breathe. She just wants to run as far as she could.

She feels something cut through her feet that halt her running. She looks at the glass in her feet which started to bleed badly.

"That's why they say that we have to handle glass with care". She heard his voice and she stilled in her place, "I will never understand why people don't care about the glass knowing that it is easier to break and hard to put back together".

He stands in front of her, placing his coat over her.

"Was your exercise good?" He asked and she looks at him confused, "What? I almost thought you were a runner or someone offered you a huge sum to run that fast. Are you an athlete?"

She noticed he was breathing hard which meant that he must have run after her.

He looks at his watch, "The party is waiting for us". Then he rolls his eyes, "Pretty sure my mother is only waiting for you. Since the moment she found you she treats me like a second-class citizen".

She feels the need to embrace someone and cry her heart out. She falls to her knees as she starts to weep.

"Acha. Acha. I am sorry, yaar. Tum lay lo meri Ammi ka piyaar, mai kuch nahi bolta". He said concerned, "Saach mai, mai dobara kuch nahi bolo ga. I am sorry". (Ok. Ok. I am sorry. You take all my mother love, I won't say anything) (really, I won't say anything again. I am sorry)

"Ap galat nahi hain. Mai galat hoon. Mai gunnahgar hoon". (You are not wrong. I am a sinner)

He sits in front of her crisscross as he takes a handkerchief out of his pocket. He takes the glass out of her feet, without touching her, as he wraps the handkerchief around her feet.

"How so?"

"Do you have any idea how many people I misled? How many people must have worn the clothes I wore and tried to be like me? It was all a lie. It was all wrong"

"How so?"

"I realised that human tend to feel wrong the first three times when they see or do wrong. After that, it becomes natural to them". She said brushing her scarf away, "Our media, channels, social media and every other outlet started to portrait woman as an item for everyone to feast on. The first woman who took her scarf off and placed it on the ground must have been opposed by people. But, soon enough after watching it over and over again, people start to copy it and liking it. Because it didn't feel as wrong. Do you know how people react when someone is abused?"

She watches his body stiffen at her words.

"To have patience". He was stating it

She nodded, "Because, in all these shows, they show that one day the man changed and regretted it because the woman was patient with everything. That her patience was the reason that the man is suffering now. Do you know how sick that is? People ask the victim to have patience and for her to wait because someday magically the abuser will change. That is not real life. That is not-".

"-True. The abuser rarely change. And by rare it means 0.1% of the people change and regret what they did. All the other abuser are proud of what they did and never think they did anything wrong. Even if it means they killed someone, they don't regret a thing. That's real-life".

"God, oh God, I have sinned. I have sinned. I have shown the wrong as right. Oh my God". She cried as her heart rips apart and she banged her hand on the muddy ground covering herself with it, "Maybe I deserved to be punished this way. For the lives I have wronged, this is my punishment. This is my punishment".

"How?"

She looks at him as she spoke again, "How is this your fault?"

"What are you saying?"

"People have their brain and their beliefs. They can know the wrongs and rights. They were taught the wrongs and they continuously learn. If they decided to follow the wrong, how does that make you the reason for it? If they were weak on their beliefs to be swayed by you, it is their fault. Don't take other faults on yourself. People shouldn't have supported you if you were wrong. The whole industry doesn't function on its own. People feed them. People watch their nonsense and they enjoy it. Everyone like to blame others, don't take the blame of their lives on yourself".

She enters his house as he moves ahead of her and she feels a sense of comfort in that.

"You". Mahira shouted and she moves back startled, "You are the one on news. Your picture was leaked".

"What picture?"

"Your nude pictures".

And she felt like a shattered glass that can never be put together again.

~~**~~

I am just going to hide, yeah.

Just saying, do you all worry about that cake in the oven? cause I have been worried sick.

I guess we know where it is going,

RIP CAKE :(

- Your author,

Faiqa Shahid