Kyun judtaa iss jahan se tu
Ik din yeh guzar hi jayega
Kitna bhi samet le yahan
Muthi se phisal hi jayega
Har shakhsh hai dhool se bhara
Aur phir usme hi jaa mila
Yeh haqiqat hai tu jaan le
Kyun sach se mooh hai pherta

Why are you so attached to this world?
One day it will pass away.
No matter how much you try to gather.
It will slip through your fists.
Every person’s made of elements.
And later reduces into it.
This is the truth.
Why do you try to defy it?

-Aye Khuda (Murder 2)

~~**~~

"Why did you bring me so far?" She asked as she tries to cover as much of her body as she could with his jacket

"I didn't. You were the one who kept asking me to drive".

"That's because I was panicking. You should have left me".

"When you were panicking? That's not what I was taught to do when a woman asks for help".

"I-I-". She couldn't form a word

Not because she can't. But the overdue of the event in the past months was getting to her.

"What do you want?" He asked softly

She looks into his eyes as tears filled her eyes, "I need to leave. I need to just be away from the eyes of the world".

He nodded, "I can help with that. We need to get you some time away".

She didn't speak. She didn't know why. She just can't form sentences in front of him. She just went mute. She cannot run far even if she tries this time, the adrenaline was gone by now. Her body was drained and hanging to the last of energy to not give in to sleep until she knows how this will end. She cannot even rest her eyes with the fear of Qayyum returning to finish what he started or someone else. Will she be able to sleep with the trauma?

It wasn't the first time she went through this. Her manager told her to stop being dramatic and bear with it. That it was a part of the fame that she enjoys.

She focuses her attention when his car enters a big mansion. She feels her breathing hitched as she wonders what will happen next.

She watches him as he leaves his car speaking to the men who were guarding the house and in the next few minutes, the men disappeared.

She opens the door when he signals her. He went ahead and she felt safe because, in her condition, she will rather hide somewhere.

"There is a guest room on the first floor and first right". He spoke with his face facing ahead, "You can use that room. I will send my worker with some clothes for you to change in. If there is something you want, let my worker know, she will provide it".

She observes him, trying to understand what he was saying and if what he was saying was the truth. She had seen many who says something and mean something else. There is no way he was that simple.

She nodded meekly as she moves to the guest room which looks nothing less of a master room. She didn't look around because of her heartache that was causing her mind to be blocked. She looks around in the bathroom for any hidden cameras and anything that could possibly record her. For an hour, she remains paranoid looking around the way she learned from her manager.

Once she was done, she started to shower and the cold water hit her body throwing it off guard. She turns the water too hot and increases its temperature to the point that her body feels the pain of the water and not the pain that was deep in her heart.

Why can't she stop the pain?

She breaks down. She falls in the tub as the water continues to fill and she laid there with thoughts about everything that went wrong. The water turned cold soon enough and her pain didn't go away.

She looks at the dress that was discarded on the floor. It was not even a dress, it was a thin piece of cloth that was designed by a famous designer who worked hard to have people believe that it was a dress that was worth the shot.

She looks at the red spot on the dress which confuses her. She didn't bleed. Her eyes widen when she realises that it was Qayyum blood that was on her clothes. She starts to panic again as her breathing becomes heavily to the point she couldn't even breathe anymore.

"Rumi". She heard his voice as he banged his hand on the locked door, "Are you ok? Do you need help?"

YES. She wanted to shout. She needs help in putting a halt to these voices in her head.

If she was that pure why did she steps into this field?

This is what happens in the industry.

This is how you get work.

This is a common problem you shouldn't think about it.

You should go along with them.

You should be open-minded.

"RUMI". He shouted as he starts to become nervous, he looks at his worker, "I will break the door. I can't go in so make sure to tend to her with care. Do not look at her. Do not make eye contact. Bring her outside, get her dressed and calm her down. Be respectful".

She feels someone hand on her, bringing her out of the water she was drowning herself in. She heard a gasp from the person who held her and took her outside. She didn't even realise when and how she was dressed. She was numb.

After the feeling of all the emotions at once, she was numb to everything.

"Can I bring you something?" She raises her eyes to look at a middle-aged woman who wasn't looking at her

She slowly shakes her head, "Can you help me?"

"What can I help you with, Ma'am?"

"Mujhe sukoon chahiyeh. In awaazo ko band kar do mere liye. Yeh meri jaan lay rahi hain". (I want peace. Close these voices. They are taking my life away from me)

"Konsi awaazein?" (What voices?)

"Yeh". She said hitting her head harshly, "In ko band kar do, yeh mujhe jeene nahi dain gi. Meri koi galti nahi thi. Maine kuch nahi kia. Maine toh wohi kia jo sub nae kaha phir kyun? Kyun mai saans nahi lay sakh rahi? Batao mujhe?" (This) (close these voices, they won't let me live. I wasn't wrong. I did what everyone asked from me then why? Why can't I breathe? Tell me?)

The worker immediately went outside and she starts to cry again.

"Mujhe sukoon day do". She said placing her hand over her heart, "Bohat takleef ho rahi hai yaha. Mujhe sukoon day do". (Give me peace) (It hurts so bad. Give me peace)

"Kaise mile ga sukoon" She heard a different voice as she raises her head to find the same man (how will you get peace)

What was his name? It was weird, that is what she remembers.

"Matlab?" (What do you mean?)

He sits in front of her with a good distance, smiling softly, "Kaise mile ga sukoon agar apne zaat ko takleef dayti raho gi". (How will you get peace if you continue to torture yourself?)

"Mai nahi day rahi. Mujhe takleef ho rahi hai". (I am not doing anything. It is hurting me)

"Toh tumhari rooh ko kuch chahiyeh jo tum us ko day nahi rahi" (Then your soul needs something that you are not providing it)

"Meri rooh?" She said tilting her head, "Meri rooh maar chuki hai saalo pehle". (My soul?) (My soul died years ago)

"Sub k pass rooh hoti hai chahiyeh woh kitni baar maari gayi ho". He said gently, "Bus kuch waqt k liye woh khamoosh ho kar, bande ko us ki marzi karny dayti hai. Usi ki waja se toh waqt anay per sahi aur galat ka andaza hota hai". (Everyone has a soul even if it is killed many times) (for a time being, it stays quiet and let the people do what they want. But, when the time comes it starts to show the right and wrong)

"Mujhe nahi pata kia sahi hai kia galat hai"  (I don't know what is right and wrong)

"Tumhae pata hai, Rumi". Her eyes widen when he said her name, "Tumhae saalo se pata hai kia sahi aur galat hai. Tum bus is saach se bhaag rahi ho aur is ki waja se tumhari rooh ab thak chuki hai. Ab woh mazeed tumhae bhaagny nahi day gi". (You do know, Rumi) (You have known for years what is wrong and right. You just have been running from the truth (right) and that is why your soul is now tired of it. Now your soul won't let you run away anymore)

"Mai kia karoon? Mai kia karoon k yeh sub sahi ho jaye?". (What do I do? What do I do that all becomes fine?)

"Yeh toh tum nae sochna hai". He said standing as he looks at the door, "I have the doctor--" (that is what you have to think about)

"I don't want a male- I can't be around men. They- I- I-".

"Rumi". He said sternly and she looks at him, "I know. It's a female doctor. Please, don't hesitate to tell her anything so she can heal you".

"She can't heal me. No one can".

"When the road becomes impossible to walk on, there is only one who you can ask for help".

"Who?"

"Your Lord. HE was the creator of everyone and everything. HE can heal if you ask HIM". 

He nodded to the doctor explaining that she needs to check her carefully before she went in. He stayed beside the door waiting for thirty minutes for the doctor to finally walk around.

"She is traumatised. She didn't speak about it. It will be best if she do. She cannot hold the pain inside of her for too long especially the pain that's eating her alive. Please, consult a psychiatrist if she is not talking and behaving normally".

He nodded asking his guard to bring her medicine. He enters the room, watching the dazed look in her eyes and the demon haunting her.

Maybe his mother was right after all. The demon comes out in the night.

"Do you want to have dinner here or downstairs?" He asked as her blank eyes turn to him

He didn't know if her eyes were better when they were filled with tears of her pain or when they were blank.

"I do not wish to eat".

"Normally, I would have said your wish is my command". He jokes and she didn't smile, "But, we are not under normal circumstances so how about you decide where you want to eat".

"Why did you save me?"

"No one deserves to not be saved. I hope everyone at least tries to save someone once in their lives".

"So you like playing the hero?"

He laughs, "I am not someone who gets paid for it though. Do you think I am good looking enough to start in a movie?"

She tilts her head, "I don't know. Can you act?"

"I don't think so". He said rubbing his hand on the back of his neck, "I am terrible at portraying emotions".

"Aren't we all?"

"No. Seriously". He said, taking a step back, "There was this one time when I was lead in a school program for children". He takes another step back as his voice becomes far

"What happened next? Hello?" She asked confused as he didn't reply so she steps down from the bed, "Are you there?"

"You have to hear this". He said a little louder as he takes another step back

"I can't hear you". She said walking out of the room as she follows behind him, "Can you stop and tell me the story?"

"I can". He said smiling, "Only if you stop hurting yourself and eat".

"That's hardly fair".

"I wasn't playing fair. So, you want the story or should I just sleep?"

Her heart stopped, "You will sleep here?"

"This is my house unless someone claims otherwise". He said shrugging, "I promise I will lock my door. I would give you the key to my room door but I doubt that you will open the door for me in the morning".

"I am an early bird".

"You look like an angry bird to me".

She groaned, "Fine. I will eat".

She sits at the table as he starts his story again. She didn't hear a word of it because the last time she was in a tight place with a man, she was- she was almost raped.

She chokes on the little food she manages to chew on. She feels a glass in her hand and she drinks the water, calming down.

She rubs her hand over her chest to stop the aching. She looks at him, waiting for him to question her. Why was he being nice?

"So, you think I can still be an actor?"

She sighs, "What made you think being an actor is an honour?"

"What made you think that?"

Her hands stop midair as his words registered in her head. Who made her believe in the worldly pleasure, title and the need to run after it. Why was she blindly following along? Why was she running after money which went away in a few seconds?

Why was she after the fame which didn't guarantee her safety? Will those people support her if she says, she was almost raped? Will they believe her? She worked to show everything she had to entertain them, will they even remember her if she was gone?

Questions after questions continued to appear in her brain and finally, her brain decided to function. The ache of her heart remains and now her head was filled with demanding questions.

"What made me believe?" She asked herself

"The world played you". He said and she looks at him with tears brimming in her eyes, "It plays with everyone".

"Did it play with you?"

"It did. Just in a different way".

"Who is this?" She heard someone shout as she breaks her eyes contact with him turning to find an older women

"Ammi Jaan". (Mom)

"What is she doing in our house?" His mother asked

She was in deep trouble.

**~~**

Where is my Musa?  UGHHHH

How was it? What was your favourite dialogue?

HAPPY FRIDAY MY PEOPLE 💜

Your Author,
Faiqa