"We are not living, we are surviving" - Faiqa

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!

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"What are you talking about?" He asked confused looking at his aunt

"She was the one who your father met before he died". His aunt shouted

He frowns looking at her, waiting for her to say something. She just stood there maybe shocked?

"That is not true". He said shaking his head rejecting the stupid assumption

"How can you say that? You know they hate us. She killed him". His aunt said raged

"She didn't. She didn't kill him. I don't want to do this now and I will appreciate it if you let us be for some days". He said taking his sister hands as he starts to walk away

He stops turning to look at her as she didn't move, "Are you going to stay there?"

She blinks her eyes running to follow them outside of this place filled with everyone sorrows. She stands in front of his car shocked by his words earlier. He didn't accuse her. How? Why?

"Is it possible for you to follow us back to our place?" He asked standing in front of her after he had his sister sit in the car, "Can you look after Maya a little more? She looks better in your presence".

She nodded, "I will follow behind".

He nodded. She moves to her car still shocked that the man she saw at 11:30 AM was no more. He was gone, buried in the afternoon (3 PM) and just that he was no more. It all did make sense.

She followed them to their house as Maya continued to cry and he continued to look in spaces. What was she supposed to do? What was she supposed to say?

"Come on". She said to Maya as she takes her hand taking her to the kitchen, "Sit here".

She points to the stool as she looks through the fridge to find some ingredients to make sandwiches for them and hot chocolate for Maya. She works for 15 minutes before she was done with the food.

She carries the plate outside placing them on the table and Maya follows her.

"You need something inside your stomach to mourn". She said softly as she looks at Maya who starts to cry again

She passes the sandwich to Maya who spoke after a long time, "Will I be a bad person to eat when my father is gone just hours ago?"

She felt her throat dry as she wonders why people will ever think that?

"Will your father like that you starve yourself?"

"He is not here to tell me that". Maya cried

"He already did". She said holding Maya hand encouraging her to eat, "You need a little food to function at least. If you let your body suffer with your mind, it will be hard".

Maya nodded as she slowly starts to eat and she feels something within her as she watches her eat. Something soft and warm. Once, Maya was able to navigate herself, she turns to look at him.

His eyes meet her and he had been watching her all this time. He shouldn't. But he was, he doesn't know why.

She pointed towards his plate without words. Doesn't she have some words for him? Anything?

"I did meet your father this morning". She dropped the bomb and Maya stops eating, "I don't know how he managed to get a meeting scheduled with my secretary. I didn't know until he entered the room. He spoke for some time and left. I have no idea what happened to him and why".

"I believe you". He said leaning on the couch as his heart felt the stabbing pain

Was he betraying his father? Was he a sinner to do this to his mother? Was their teaching going to waste?

"Why?" She asked genuinely taken back

"Because I know you are not capable of taking a life".

"How do you know that? I always threatened you".

A small smile manages to appear at the corner of his lips even in this painful moment, "You do realise we studied all our lives in the same damn school? You cried when you accidentally stabbed that stupid mouse in the wrong place in the laboratory".

"I killed that mouse". She said horrified as she remembers that moment, "Oh my God, I remember, I killed that poor creature".

"Please, don't cry. I can barely handle my sister". He said looking at her scared of her starting to cry out

"I am not crying". She said hoarsely as she hides her tears away, "I am just sad and guilty. What if he had a family?"

Maya giggle beside her and he turned to his sister with a smile as he spoke, "You said she is chill, she is not, she is crazy".

"I am not crazy. You just don't understand". She said groaning, "That poor creature".

"Eww". Maya said disgusted, "I never went near mouse and I don't want to see them".

"Maybe I should gift you one, mouse". She said smirking

"You are so annoying". Maya said frustrated

"I told you so". He said and she glares at him

"You are annoying too". Maya said looking at his brother, "You two are perfect for each other".

She makes a face, "Don't say things like that. It makes me want to vomit".

"I didn't feel that great either". He said dryly, "I can't even spend a second of my life with you".

"Mutual feeling. If I were to live with you, I will have to strangle you first".

"Children, be quiet". Maya said rolling her eyes at their immature behaviour, "I am not feeling great so I will be in my room".

"Do you want me beside you? Or do you want me to sleep with you?" He asked concerned placing his hands on either side of Maya's cheeks

Maya sniffs, "I am not a child".

"Sorrow is for elders too. So is the pain, Maya. Don't hide it from me, please". He said gently

Maya nodded, "I want to sleep for some time. If I need you, I promise I will ask".

"Ok".

She watches Maya leaves and once she heard the door shut, she spoke, "There is more to your father's death".

He turned to her with his eyes blank as he sits on the couch, "I realised that. There was no way my father set an appointment to see you without a solid reason".

"Your father did arrange a meeting with me, I was shocked when he walked in". She said sighing, "I had no idea that was the last time I was going to see him. He spoke about a merger that was rejected by me- Sufiyan Asar, do you know him?"

"I was going to sign the deal tomorrow".

"Don't". She said shaking her head, "Your father was very cautious with his questions as to why I rejected it, what was the man likes and what he does with his business. I didn't know much of who this man was and I rejected the deal because it wasn't in my favour so I told him that".

"And he left?"

"He looked stressed. Like, there was something even I could feel it. I should have asked him. I didn't. I am sorry". She said sadly looking at the floor

"It's not your fault". He said watching the sadness on her face, "We didn't know he will end in an accident. The police is investigating the driver. But, I don't think there will be much".

"You are acting detective now?"

"We have to. If my father visited you even after all the hate he had for you and your family, he must have trusted you. If I am not wrong, it was because you helped Maya. But, I am sure he thought something".

She nodded, "You won't sign this deal, right? I don't want you to do this".

He looks at her interested at how she was desperately trying to convince him, "Even if I do, what's in for you?"

"I just don't want you to do something stupid. We both know, you are the dumb one".

"I scored more than you every year".

"Genius isn't just the one who scores more".

"Says every low scorer".

She throws the pillow at him, "I am not a low scorer. I just like to stay normal".

"Sure". He said with a small smile as he places the pillow on his side

"I hate you".

"Mutual feelings".

She huffed, "Why do you trust me? Why did you say you know, I didn't do it?"

"Did I win your heart over with that one thing?"

She raised her eyebrows, "Were you trying to?"

"No". He said deadpan

"Good". She said looking at her watch, "I have to leave. It's getting late".

She picks her bag as she starts to move out of the house when they heard the bell ringing. He frowns asking her to wait as he opens the door.

She heard the loud voices which take her a second to realise that it was her father and mother. Her father face was filled with anger and disgust as he glared at her. She visibly shakes in fear and she finds her mother crying, as usual.

"How can you do this to me?" Her father screamed moving closer to her and she immediately moves away, "I should have killed you when you were born. I taught you that you were supposed to hate this man and you are here in his house. Are you having an affair with him?"

She gulped shaking her head, "N-No. I was here to give my condolences for his father".

"Why will you do that?" Her father screamed, "Even if that man died, what will you do that? Is this why you are rejecting the marriage idea? Is this why you are planning to ruin my reputation? For this man?"

"This is not true". He said watching how she was shaken to death and he had never seen her this way, "She was here for my sister-".

"I didn't ask you". Her father snapped, "This is what you taught your daughter? You must have told her to do this to make me suffer. You both are the same. You have ruined my life and now you trained your daughter to do that too. You always enjoy making me miserable".

"Is this true?" Her mother said holding her hand in a tight grip, "Tell me, is this true?"

"No". She shouted, "I told you I have hated him like how you both wanted. I did what you asked for years. Why can't I just come here for his father's death?"

"Look. Look how she is using her tongue. Ungrateful brat". Her father taunted, "She is good for nothing. This is why I want her to marry Zakir".

"What?" He shouted after hearing that name and he turned to look at her, "That Zakir?"

Her silence confirmed his doubts and he felt something other than resentment towards her. He felt something more than anger towards her. He felt something snap at the thought of her marrying that man. Even if he was her worse enemy, he never wished such faith for her.

He doesn't even understand why her father was saying such terrible things to her? Why her mother was not supporting her? Why was she not the fierce woman she was in front of others? Most of all, why was she shaking so much?

It didn't fit well. Nothing fits well.

He thought she had the best life especially after his mother left. This was all making him question everything that he had assumed. Is this how she had lived?

"Why do you want to know?" Her father asked glaring at him which didn't scared him, "You must have feelings for her to ask this. Is this your father's revenge against me? Is this what he planned for before dying?"

"Don't speak about my father like that". He snapped, "I have no relation with your daughter. Maybe if you truly care for her as much as you care if she has an affair with me, you would have thought before you arrange her marriage with a man like Zakir".

"You don't have any right to say that. I am her father. I will decide what I want for her".

He snickers, "You are right. I have no rights".

Her father places his hand on her wrist with great pressure as he pulled her out of the house. She turned to look at him as she moves past him and the moment of their eyes clashing caused them both grief.

He clenched his hand thinking about the scene that he witnessed. He cannot just ignore that it all happened and it all happened in front of him.

"Bhai?" He heard Maya voice

He opens his eyes to find Maya near him with tears falling down her face. Maya hugs him tightly crying profusely.

"Why was her father screaming at her?" Maya asked

He sighs, "I don't know".

"Will he hurt her?"

"I hope not".

"Can we help her? I don't want her to get hurt?"

"We can't do anything".

He sits with his sister in his arms on the couch as the silence engulfs them. He didn't cry in front of anyone mostly because everyone expected him not to cry and that he learned that sorrows bring joy to many.

Also, the fact that most of the people just wanted the food and not actually wanted anything to do with his father. They must have left disappointed because he made no effort to focus his attention on serving the best meal to people. It all happened in a matter of few hours.

He was in his meeting, he got a call at 10 AM that his father was in an accident. He went to the hospital and at 11:30 AM, his father was gone. His sister arrived with his driver, they were all crying while he had to arrange the funeral. And at 3 PM, his father was sent to his creator.

Just in a day.

How can we not realise how near death is and how fast it will take us away?

We are all just wasting time on people, things and the world. We will all leave.

He heard the doorbell ringing and at this point, he wanted to be left alone. He pulls away from Maya walking to the door to find a Pizza delivery boy.

"I didn't order it".

"Sir, the order was placed by Zara and she asked it to be delivered here".

"How much is it?"

"She paid for it. Here".

He holds the two boxes of Pizza from the man hands and the drinks walking back to the lounge.

"You ordered food?" Maya asked

"No. Zara did". He said not even sure himself as he finds that she ordered the drink that he likes, "She is becoming a mystery every day".

"I told you she is a fun person. You are just very mean to her".

"Just eat the food, Maya. Not my brain".

"You don't have one".

He glared at her which didn't affect her as she continued to eat the food. He looks at the food which only brings her thoughts back to him.

He didn't like this feeling.

She trembles in fear as she walks inside the house. She hasn't had any problems with her father because she always listened to him. She never objected and she never declined his demands.

Perhaps she could finally end it all?

"She is getting married tomorrow". Were her father words and they weighed on her entire body

She didn't speak. She went to her room. For years, not even a single day goes by where she didn't fear her father anger. She tried to please him, she tried to defend her mother from him, she tried to make him happy and she hoped. She hoped that even for a day, he will let them be happy.

That for a day, he will just let them be. Maybe he will change. Maybe he will learn. Maybe just maybe, he will realise he was wrong and that peace was much better than constantly creating a bad atmosphere at home.

It never happened. Maybe, it never will. For her father to accept and realise he was wrong, it won't happen. He was taught he was always right, he believes he was always right and he will continue to believe that.

Even if it ruins her life.

She never cries. She cannot cry. It all was numb to her. She feels pain. Only pain. Her heart hurts. Her body hurts. Her everything hurts so bad. So bad.

What was she supposed to do? What was she meant to do? What was her life? Why after everything she had done, after everything she did to please her parents, they never loved her? Why? Was she hard to love?

She heard her phone ringing beside her for the hundredth time. She frowns watching an unknown number that looks familiar.

"Finally". He heard his voice booming through the phone breaking through her dark thoughts that she went into, "Are you ok? Did he do something? Did you explain to him why you can't marry that man?"

She chuckles bitterly, "He won't hear me".

"You cannot marry him, Zara. You can't do this to yourself".

"Why not?"

"Have you lost your mind? Are you seriously going to ruin your whole life with that man?"

"Maybe my father will be happy with me".

"If someone was meant to get happy only by you sacrifices yourself, then they will never be happy. They will continue to ask for more and more sacrifice, Zara. Our parents who truly care will never put us in such situations".

"So, they don't love me?" Her voice drops, "Did they ever loved me? Maybe a little?"

He could feel the pain in her voice, "I don't know. I don't know".

"I don't want to marry that man. I never wanted to marry him. I told him that when he told me about the marriage".

"But?"

"But, he will force me. I know he will get my signatures even if I don't accept it with my mouth. Or worse, he will use my mother knowing I am weak for her".

"This is not right, Zara. Everything- this all- this doesn't make sense".

"When has life ever made sense?"

"Zara, please. Please, don't do anything wrong. Please, don't-".

"End myself? It seems easy".

"ZARA". He shouted desperately, "Please, no. Not this. Don't do this".

"Why not?"

"Trust me".

"Trust you? And what?"

"I trusted you, Zara. All I am asking is for you to trust me just this once. Just hang on another day, please".

"Ok".

"Are you sure about this, Bhai?" Maya asked nervously

"I don't know".

"That is not the right answer".

"I don't want the repeat of what happened to our mother, Maya. That is all I know".

Maya nodded, "I don't want that either".

"Good. Now think and act".

She looks at her bridal dress which her mother had already bought. This tells her that the marriage was decided for a long time and she was only told a day or two before. This implies that her mother hide it from her and lied to her. Her mother furthers blackmail her into this.

Why does her mother hate her?

"You have to listen to your husband and keep him happy". Her mother said crying, "Don't speak against him. Do as he says and never let him complain".

"If if he hurts me?"

"That is the only way you can work a marriage. If a man has a little temper, the women should be calmed". Her mother scolded, "Don't act smart. Men don't like if women are above them. Don't ever let him come and complain to your father, he will leave me if that happens".

"What's the use of staying with him?"

"You don't understand that society. If I leave him, they will call you and me things. It will ruin your reputation and no one will marry you".

"Why is marriage such a big deal anyway?"

"Shut up. Your father is here for signatures, get ready".

She heard a loud sound and a few screams of people as they start to rush out of the house. She holds her lehenga running out of the room to find the various firecrackers lit up and the fire around.

She saw the people running out afraid of the fire and she turned towards the figure that stands a little away.

She finds her would-be groom coming towards her and the anger evident in his eyes.

"I don't want to marry this cursed women".

"You are trash yourself". She snapped

Zakir was about to hit her when Babar holds his hand punching him.

"That was for everything you have done". Babar said smirking and he turned to her, "I told you to trust me".

And she couldn't help but smile genuinely for the first time.