I'm alive :p

How are you all doing?.

*****

How tough can life be?.

For some, they tend to believe their lives are the worse that it can get for someone. For others, they believe they will never be able to escape and while some look at a few more who whines and complain after having what they are deprived of- they say they are the worse.

The thing is- we are all being tested. Some are tested by privilege and others by not having those. Being privilege doesn't necessarily mean that worries are not to come to them because sometime they might be tested in the worse way and then the end will come.

No one is not being tested. We were told and told, time after time that we will test you so how is that when a burden is placed on the shoulder- human wants to escape?. Because no matter how much one runs away there will be no escape coming.

None.

It either you accept your test and stop comparing yourself with others because if you don't then your whole coming life will turn into nothing but darkness.

"Mr. Shayaan has managed to break through the land mafia and have their boss arrested. He was shot while he still managed to kill at least five leaving their boss alive, who is taken in custody for further investigation".

She changes the channel to watch the cartoon because the more news or drama she watches the more depressed she became. Somehow, over the countless years, drama and entertainment industry took a drastic change that can't be seen for now but in the coming few years the effect will be visible.

We roam around useless love and even more useless things that don't need to be discussed. The same topic is crushed and mixed with known celebrities feeding to the public.

She sighs.

"Mahak is modelling with one of the famous designers who had shown his interest-". Her younger sister- Hanan said coming into her room

"Hanan, please". She said groaning

"Shouldn't you be happy?". Hanan asked laying beside her watching the cartoon

"No, you know how I feel about him. He is overly friendly and I don't like it". She said angrily, "He is always after me and my manager short-coming, had me stuck with this man".

"So, why don't you speak about his behaviour publicly?. You have the power". Hanan asked taking the chips away from her receiving a glare

"Because if I were to talk about harassment, at first everyone will sympathise with me but then number one, I will be blamed to have worn such clothes and that the industry is like that. Two, I will be called name and being a girl I should have stayed hidden. Third, the victim will turn into a criminal that seduce men and whatnot". She said shrugging, "No matter how sincere I am this field of work had changed my life which I don't appreciate".

Hanan sighs looking at her friend struggling, "Why don't you leave it?".

"Is it that easy?". She asked

"So, you have a photo shoot and then you will have the walk on-ramp the next day?". Hanan asked changing the subject

"Yes". She said nodding, "What about your studies?. How is everything going?. Do you need something?".

"How about we go outside?". Hanan asked excitedly

She chuckles, "Ok!. Give me a few minutes and we will leave".

They both stepped outside of her car while she has a mask and cap on to not be in identified and spoil Hanan excitement. They rarely get out, to spend money because both of them never liked these things to start with. They found soon that every single thing is meant to end at some point, why place your heart in it?.

They enter inside the shop of clothes and since Hanan is going to start her second last year in university she is thrilled for it. She knows Hanan loves studying science because their father loved it.

"How about this?". Hanan asked showing her a beautiful long shirt

"This is beautiful". She commented nodding at her beaming face

Hanan turns around to pay the cashier when she looks around and suddenly a black figure turns around looking anywhere but at her. She looks at the figure frowning and as Hanan came out she starts to leave the store when the ringing started.

The guard immediately stops her asking her to empty her bag for checking and she didn't even need to steal anything from here. She was about to argue when a man came there.

"I am a policeman, Ma'am. You will need to show your belongings to us". He spoke stern-looking directly in her eyes with authority

Hanan holds her hand tightly hiding behind her and she hates fear in her sister's eyes so she moves aside to show them her belongings. As she empties her wallet she finds a small keyring in her items that doesn't belong to her.

"Is this yours?". The policeman asked

"Appi, how did that get into your purse?". Hanan asked worriedly

"Remove your mask and cap". The guard ordered angrily

"You cannot make me do that". She said angrily

"You are a thief. That's what we do with them". The guard screamed

"Sir, please calm down. Let me-". The policeman said

But the guard moves forward ripping the mask and cap off of her.

Everyone gasped.

Then comes the pictures and videos as soon as she was revealed.

She clicked her tongue to the inside of her left cheeks, "Do you have CCTV?".

"Yes". The cashier woman said

"I would like to see if you don't mind". She said stern

She walks behind the woman towards the computer where she asked her to play the clip from when they entered and the moment she was looking at Hanan happily she found the same black clothes girl placing something in her bag.

"Are we clear now?". She asked calmly looking at all the people who accused her before her statement

"Yes. I am sorry-". The policeman started

"Keep it. Keep your words inside your mouth when your actions don't show them". She said holding Hanan hand throwing the clothes they brought before to the cashier walking out of the shop

"Appi, are you ok?". Hanan asked stopping her to look at her face

She found a few cut from the nail mark on her jawline and she wince when Hanan touches her.

"Ma'am, you need to listen to me". The policeman said standing in front of her

She closes her eyes taking a deep breath opening her eyes again.

"Speak so we can be done with". She said plainly

"You can file a case against the man who forcefully removed your mask-". He started

"Oh! Shayaan, you are here I was looking-". She heard another woman came standing beside the man

"Mahak". The woman- Maham says

She rolls her eyes while Hanan starts to shake in anger, "What is this woman doing here?".

"Hanan". She said softly holding her hand shaking her head

"What's the drama about this time?. I heard you stole something-". Maham started

"She didn't. It was a misunderstanding". He defended

She leaves Maham hand taking a step towards him looking in his eyes, "That's how it works. Even if I file a case against that guard everyone will blame me for making a poor innocent man lose his job, just because he was doing the job that was assigned to him. Even when I cleared my name- the more spicy news for tomorrow will stay that I was a thief and a small ending headline that I wasn't actually a thief. That's how manipulations work. If you want to see it, watch the news tomorrow".

With that, she turns to walk away since more people start to come around her and before the usually pushing starts thankfully the guards help her to leave the place.

"Appi, why did you say that?. You didn't even know anything". Shayaan said after Mahak left

"I know everything about her. I have been writing about her since she came into modelling. Do you even know anything about her?. Do you know how the model comes in industry and how they earn?". His sister- Maham argued walking away," Plus I manage to have her pictures and I need to write on my article tomorrow so let's leave".

He shakes his head when his phone rings and he answered it.

"Watch me kill your best man". He heard the mafia boss laughing as he speaks

His eyes widen as he asks his sister to quickly get in the car because he has to be at duty again. He drops her sister at her husband place asking her to give love to the four years old twins (Sirat and Sobia) as he drives away to the police station.

Hanan asks her to stop at another mall and she did because she knows her sister mood is spoiled.

"You know that woman only speak badly about you then why didn't you at least slap her?". Hanan asked angrily walking inside the mall

She shakes her head knowing her sister is much short-tempered then she was following her into a store without truly acknowledging it before.

Her eyes widen when she looks around to beautiful black abaya and different colours of the beautiful scarf around her. She almost felt too sinful to be standing in a place like this however she moves to a particular Abaya touching and feeling the softness.

"Appi, how do I look?". She heard Hanan voice breaking her trance

She turns around and her breathing hitched watching her younger sister in a blue coloured scarf around her head and the way it made her look so pure and innocent. The feelings inside of her were surreal as she looks at her sister glowing in a different light and the crown on her head shining along with her.

"Breathtaking, isn't it?". Hanan asked chuckling at her sister reaction

She merely nodded.

"I will take this, please". Hanan said not removing the scarf from her head

Once they exit and sit in the car in complete silence was when her sister starts to speak.

"You know how I told you that even though now we have everything I always felt this constant emptiness and agony inside me?. That no matter how many doctors I went to for my issues they all only depressed me further?". Hanan said softly, "I found that my faith was weakened to the point I didn't even know the right and wrong. When I was asked a simple question of my religion I would shrink back not knowing the answer. It took me a while until one of my friends asked me to meet her mother who had a very wide range of knowledge about the world and our religion".

"Then?". She asked curiously

"Her mother asked me to question myself that when in the end I would have to be answerable of where I spent my hours at?. And what did I know about my Lord and if I was following what he asked, what will I answer?. That if I were to die today am I confident enough to stand in front of him?". Hanan said smiling, "It took me a long time to realise the world is mortal with nothing but deception- everything that was told to us as wrong now the west is investing in large amount to show those wrongs as rights. Our minds are being manipulated and curved in such a way that we don't even realise half the sins we do on a daily basis. This scarf was something I fell in love with at first- the crown of a woman. Why would I dream to be a Disney princess when my Lord made me a Queen?".

She nodded with pride in her eyes, "I am so happy for you".

"And I want to be happy for you too, Appi. You have done enough already, you need to start living your own life now. Do what you want and like, please. I pray every night that you find your armour so you can leave all these things for once. You asked me if it was easy to become what your heart desires in today world, right?. I will show you that you can be what you truly want. So, look at me and learn, ok?". Hanan said smiling

She nodded smiling, "If our parents were here they must have been so proud of you".

"They are more proud of your sacrifices". Hanan said softly

The next day she looks at the tabloid that her manager showed her of her being a thief and she shakes her head chuckling because the most viewed article remains of Maham. She saw her name trending and people deciding her punishment, demanding that she is thrown out of the industry and publicly apologise. The worse part is she cannot even file a case against the reporters because the people will come out as she is trying to shut down freedom of speech. As if talking and thrashing her character is a freedom of speech. She had multiple calls, message and more threatening, abusing and calling her name.

She sighs.

She truly wishes to hide somewhere and cure her heart of the wound that is always bleeding. She looks at the sky asking for help and a way out of this place for once.

She went in for the photo shoot and the man she hated appeared right in front of her while she was getting ready to pose.

"Why is your dupatta on your shoulder?". Hamza asked taking the dupatta off her

She gaps looking at him.

"That doesn't give the fun it needs". Hamza said moving closer to her as he holds her hand and place the dupatta in the curve of it and the rest of it laying on the ground carelessly, "Now that will turn out great".

She looks at the dupatta laying on the ground when she remembers her late mother words, "Beta, remember this is your honour- these are the one that covers us and these are the one we pray in. Don't ever let it touch the ground because once it does you can't even imagine the effects".

She gulps.

"Mahak, you need to work on your eyes- they are the most important in these photos. They lured people to like and purchase the dress. So, look more bold and confident- bring that look in your eyes". He command

She closes her eyes feeling like she lost herself to the darkness yet again. And this time when she opens her eyes were different from the woman she was a minute ago.

The lights and the direction she follows leaving her conscious that mocks at her to stop it.

The next day her ramp walk and she sits in front of the dressing as different people touch her all around. While her makeup artist (male) help her to do her makeup other did her hair. She wore heavy jewellery and the scarf was pinned tightly around her.

She was the last one to embark on the ramp so she stands with some of the males who were working and handling to walk down the path. She closes her eyes as this was an important moment but she feels the inner screaming of her soul to her.

There were all rich and filthy people looking at her the moment she stepped on the ramp passing comments.

"Look at her curve, they look so good". She heard someone say as she walks down not focusing on it

"She must charge less, right?. We can have her tonight".

"It will be so fun to have her with me for a night".

"Look at how sexy she looks".

"Look at her portion, it's perfect".

"She is not that good".

"She is average".

She reaches the end of the ramp looking ahead of her as the music around her numb her sense and the lights blinded her thoughts. The fame and the appreciation blinded her of what she is into.

Then she heard the gun shoot.

And her life turned around.