24.3:"Stepping Stones".
"I don't cry". She said blankly
"Why is that?". He asked
"It's a burden. I never wanted my mother to find me crying to be burdened". She explained
"Maybe that's why your fears are growing bigger every day. Crying is a human most important emotion that they shouldn't close down. Try crying your heart once". He said softly, "That is the first thing and I know you are clever enough to find a way through".
She sighs.
He walks away leaving her to think about her plan. She wasn't sure why she was so eager to do this but she wanted to.
"What's with the face?". She heard his voice making her jump in her place
She hit his shoulder and he chuckles, "Aren't you jumpy today".
"Sneaking on people like that can make them jumpy". She said shrugging
"What were you thinking?". He asked smiling
At a time like these, he looks too close to her and she seems so far from him. It seems like he is the one trying while she is hiding behind a wall she isn't allowing him to pass through yet he is somehow breaking that wall.
"Nothing. Just work". She lied
"What about work?". He asked
She closes her eyes at his need to know everything.
"We have a meeting so I was thinking about its preparation". She said
"You don't have to worry about anything. If you need help, I will help". He said
"Would you?". She asked
He nodded enthusiastically, "I would love to do anything".
She nodded, "I will keep that in mind. By the way, I am not apologising for yesterday".
They fought again.
He chuckles, "Your mother?".
She rolls her eyes, "You are lucky you have her on your side".
"You have my mother and sister and now that I look you have my brother-in-law too. It's only fair I have your mother". He argued
"True". She said shortly
"You are agreeing with me?". He asked shocked
She hit his shoulder, "Stop acting. I know you love it that my mother is on your side".
"Well, that is true". He said nodding
She just rolls her eyes.
******
The plan was simple,
She cries in their room so he can see her.
But, it failed.
Why?.
Because she did manage to cry by thinking about everything she faced in her life. But, she cried so much that she hides in the study. She didn't want to be seen by anyone. She wanted to cry her heart out that was one of the things that she had to agree with Ayub.
He walks inside the house greeting the two ladies who seem tensed but he brushes it off. He enters his room looking around but no sign of her. He knows she is inside the house since his guard didn't inform him of any movements.
He had to station more security around her because her ex-fiancee isn't backing down. He had been getting some more threats which he cannot put a name on and isn't sure if he should talk about them with her. Not wanting to unnecessary stress her about it.
He looks around the house not being able to find her cause his anxiety to rise. At one point he starts to run to find her because she never been like this. All he knows he always finds the three sometimes four (his sister included) talking and laughing.
"She is in the study". He heard her mother voice as he turns to her, "She's been there the whole day".
He nodded.
He didn't want to ask her if something happened because it seems something did. So, he took a run towards the study stopping at the door calming his heartbeat.
Gently he opens the door entering inside the study closing the door behind him. He looks around trying to find her until he heard a whimper causing his heart to clench.
He slowly follows the sound to the corner of the room where he finds her petite figure curled up crying. It isn't that hard to know she is crying the sound was clear because each time the sound comes from her it goes directly to his heart.
"Hajar". He said softly
She turns her head to look at him. Her eyes were red and tears still fall down her face as she wipes them away rapidly.
"What happened?". He asked sitting in front of her
She shakes her head, "Nothing. I-It's just...".
She cannot complete the sentence because of her crying.
"Just what?". He asked
"It hurts". She said taking a deep breath as she feels him holding her hand gently, "Everything hurt".
"Your ex-fiancee?". He asked
Her eyes widen, "H-How do you?".
"I was the one who found that out. I had my guards around you for safety and Mahmood told me that. Mostly because when I wanted the payment I wanted to find you. But I didn't read much of that report then when Mahmood found him banging on your door that's when I found everything". He explained nervously
"Then why did you marry me?". She asked confused
"Why wouldn't I?". He said softly, "Honestly, it was my sister like I told you before she insisted I marry you and I had until the day before they came to you to say no".
"You didn't?". She asked
He shakes his head smiling, "You are here. Aren't you?".
"Why?". She asked
"Because I liked you. Even before I completely knew about you. I do care about what had happened to you only so I can keep those people away from you but I never saw you differently". He said brushing a strand away from her face watching her tired eyes, "You can rest now, Hajar. No one will hurt you".
"What if they come?". She asked scared
He pulls her into his hold, "Then we will fight them. But this time you won't stop living because of anyone".
******
She isn't sure if the first mission is a success. However, the tingle she still feels from his touch still seems to flutter her heart.
And the smile that's been gazing her lips.
Honestly, being with a male is the hardest thing for her. She cannot stand in front of them longer than a few minutes. She isn't yet sure why it's that she believes in him so much because there is no way she agreed to marry him and be with him like this for no reasons.
There are reasons she just doesn't want to accept.
She have seen the world from her naive eyes which were directed in a way that she considered men to be not a good choice, at all. She isn't sure anymore.
Just because of that handsome stupid Momim.
She shakes her head to get out of her thoughts. She is here with her husband and his colleagues who are absolutely annoying especially few of the girls who are way too interested in her personal life which she is not so comfortable in sharing with the world yet.
But that handsome stupid Momim had decided it's the best day to annoy her by placing his hand on her waist and she never stopped thinking about it.
She is going to kill him.
"Thinking about killing me". He whispers in her ear chuckling
She shudders.
"I swear the minute we are away you won't see another day". She said gritting her teeth, not in anger but to control her emotions
He laughs a hearty laugh fluttering her heart, "Come on, sweetheart, that's no way talking to your husband".
"You wouldn't be for too long". She said angrily
He just laughed.
She groans.
She looks around the carnival bored out of her mind. There is no reason for her to be here beside her husband. She looks at a small child being crushed in between people and crying looking around. She moves away from Momim's hand almost running to the child when she sees someone pushing the child almost causing her to hit the ground but she holds her in her arms.
"Are you ok?". She asked softly hugging her tightly as she weeps
"M-Mommy?". The child says crying
She moves to the bench and finds everyone else joining her soon enough throwing questions at her beside her husband who just keeps looking. She focuses her attention back at the child.
"What's your name?". She asked
"Why do you care just send her to the authorities". Zahra- one of his friends say
"Then go find authorities". She said angrily
Momim smiles.
He had been hoping for her to snap at them since they have been bothering her for so long. Though he protected her from them at all time still the few remarks that he cannot stop he wanted her to but she was too busy zoning out.
She looks around after knowing a few details besides her name. She knows the child must have moved and with the speed of her feet, she must have come a little far. She holds her in her arms as she tries to know about any other detail that can help her figure this.
"I wanted candy. Mommy went to buy the candy". The child said
Candy. She thoughts
They already passed one but that is not the one because that is farther away from the place. Until the child recognises the candy shop. This candy shop is bigger and better one in the carnival.
She stops in front of her trying to find any woman looking for the child but find none.
"What's the use of using your brain for no reason". Amna said
She places the child down turning to the woman.
"You didn't even try to use it so keep out of it". She said
She holds Momim hand placing it in the child's hand walking away from a little. It is highly unlikely for the woman to walk far distance hoping that the child is here somewhere with the panic of losing the child.
Her eyes stop when she finds a woman crying and candy in her hand. She walks faster towards her.
"Are you looking for a child in yellow dress, brown hair, 6 years old and with blue eyes?". She asked softly
The woman eyes widen as she just nodded and she directed the woman back to where Momim stood with the child.
The woman immediately enveloped the child in her hold crying.
"Thank you so much". The woman said smiling, "My name is Farah and this is Anaya".
He watches a beautiful smile gazing her lips melting his heart.
"You're welcome". Hajar said
They watch them leaving and she smiles at the feeling of knowing that she manages to save the child from the harm.
"We wasted all our time". Zahra said
"It wasn't more precious than a child, Zahra. I hope you know that the reason I ignore your words to my wife is because you are a woman and my wife is capable of handling it. But you should respect yourself and maintain limits". He said angrily
He feels Hajar holding his hand in her and he turns his anger towards her and they soften as he finds her smiling at him.
That smile.
The one he had always waited for. That smile was actually for him. He cannot believe his own eyes and just like that he lost himself once again in her. He didn't care about the world around them or if they are running all that matters was this moment.
This very moment he is going to cherish for life.
******
She looks for her mother finding her crying in her room. She looks ahead then back at the calendar making her wince.
She cannot be here for now.
She decided to meet Camilla and head with Mahmood to her cafe.
"My love, it's so good to see you". Camilla said hugging her and she enjoys her warm embrace
They sit on the corner seat after taking their orders.
"How's life?". Camilla asked
"Married life- is going great however since the day is coming again it's also stressing. You know how mother seems to close herself and all". She explained
"Don't worry. She is just a mother in pain". Camilla comforted
"Yeah". She said sighing, "I love your coffee".
"Thank you, love. Come by with your husband someday". Camilla said, "What about him?".
"I haven't seen him lately my guess is that Momim tightened the security so there is no more him. I hope that's for a long long time because I am not ready to face him". She said shuddering, "You know he wasn't even my husband yet he managed to abuse me. The reason being that he studied with me at the same university. Being physically and mentally hurt still continuing the university was something I couldn't forget. I wish he never happened".
"We all wish that the past doesn't happen but do you think you would be here in the present?". Camilla asked, "You never would have stepped out of your hometown. Never ever find a great man and family-like Momim's. And never in a million year, you can be this free and happy. I can see the shine in your eyes at this moment. Like someone placed you in their spell making you stronger and better. Stop thinking about the bygones they were meant to happen and you were meant to come here".
"D-Do you think I can ever c-care for someone?". She asked stuttering
Camilla chuckled, her old age wrinkle even more prominent, "Let me correct that question for you. Will you ever be able to love him?. Why not?. You don't need to force yourself but the way I see it you can and will love him. Maybe, you already do. You told me Nikkah starts all love, right?. I think yours started that day too. Love can happen only when you free yourself and allow yourself- your heart to find what you wanted in him. You will find him your comfort, protector, prosper and your future. Just give yourself a chance and him too".
She smiles, "Thank you, Camilla".
*****
"Another boring party". Ayub said sitting beside her
She rolls her eyes, "I am not doing the missions".
"Why is that?". Ayub asked, "Either the first one was a fail or you already believe in him".
"I never needed to test him". She said frowning at how bad that looks
He never tested her like that.
"You didn't. You needed a push". Ayub said smiling
She nodded.
"She said she isn't doing them?". Hanifa asked Ayub
Ayub nodded, "But that doesn't mean we are not doing it either".
"So, what's the plan?". Hanifa asked looking at Hajar
"The second is the biggest weakness of men". He said grinning at his wife
"What is that?". Hanifa asked
"Jealousy". He said smirking
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