I AM BACK!!!!

I know I have been away for a long time and I wanted to come soon because without posting here everything is so boring. I am still pretty busy with things but most of them are done.

Thank you for your patience.

How have you been?. Missed me?.

Just a disclaimer fasten your seatbelt this is going to be long emotional journey.

Also, please be aware that the things that will be spoken below will vary from person to person so be mindful.

•••••••••

"You shouldn't be wearing colour clothes".

"You should only wear white".

"Makeup is not for a woman like you".

"Your life is finished".

"You shouldn't be smiling".

"You shouldn't be talking so much".

"You should stay inside the house for the rest of your life and pray to God for forgiveness".

"You shouldn't be sitting with the bride".

"You should not do a job".

Maybe she shouldn't live as a whole.

*******
She looked around to the decorated house with lights and flowers. She remembers when she was going on the same journey with the same joy that her sister's face holds now.

She wasn't able to participate in her sister's function because of her relative influence on her small family of three. Her mother, her and her younger sister. Since her father was no more everyone had a right over them and all their life decisions.

One was which cost the most.

Her own marriage.

Maybe, she shouldn't have listened to everyone and lived her life as she wanted and fly far far away with her family. If she had done that she wouldn't have ever met or stepped in this society again.

It was a mystery how the society works.

She hadn't understood anything besides that she had value when she was labelled.

Especially married label holds superior powers.

That one holds a different amount of value. Though, God had made it a part of our lives we have twisted it a lot more.

We forgot what he said before and after marriage.

All we remember is the colourful event and forget about all the others.

Education would be one of them.

But her father was consistent about her education until she was in college she had lived her life completely. She was a well-educated woman trapped in the endless cycle of dirt in the form of society.

*******
"Appi (sister), I want you at my wedding and that's it. You didn't come to any of my function even after doing everything (financially and physically) why is that you can't join?". Emaan said crying

She hugged Emaan tightly whispering, "You know why".

Emaan sniffed, "No, I don't care if you are not married anymore and people think you are bad. You were my sister first and you raised me when father went away. I want you at my wedding".

"She will be there". Their mother- Aniya said

******
The day she had to send her sister away arrived in full swing to say she was nervous was an understatement. She hadn't been to function in a long time and she wasn't even sure how worse it's going to be.

"Appi (sister), just look at me, ok?". Emaan said hugging her

She nodded.

She walked inside the venue with her sister holding her lehenga. She could hear the people whisper even after the loud music that was coming. She could feel their eyes piercing into her from every side specifically one eye.

She stepped down after struggling to be away from her sister stronghold. She was sure her sister was thinking more about her than enjoying her own wedding which was something she doesn't want to do. She wanted her to enjoy her day and not worry about a thing.

She walked outside in the corridor towards the restroom which was thankfully an empty place as it feels suffocated to be in a room filled with people who don't like you.

She feels someone holding her hand tightly making a scream leave her mouth and panic building in her at the foreign touch.

She turned around only to be slapped hard enough to fall on the ground.

"Don't you have any shame?". She heard her Daadi (grandmother) say

She looked at the old woman and beside her was her daughter smirking. She knows these people never liked her and that their father had only two daughters (burden) and still loved them until his last breath.

"How could you come here after you took so many lives?". Her grandmother screamed

"I-". She started but her phopho (father's sister) placed a foot on her hand making her scream in pain

"Don't. You should be ashamed of yourself. You killed your husband and now you are here being happy?. Do you want to take your sister husband away?". Her phopho said angrily

She shakes her head trying to take her hand away from under her phopho feet.

"You wouldn't have come here if you knew better. All you always cared about is yourself. First, you never cared for my son (her father) and then you never cared for your own husband. You killed them both". Her daadi screamed angrily

"Is this the way to the bathroom?". They heard someone say

Her phopho quickly removed her foot from her hand and she holds her hand looking at the redness. She touched her hand hissing at the pain that course through her.

He looked down at the woman holding her hand to herself. He heard everything and he never liked that woman could turn to their own like that. The two women went away immediately after he had asked that question he didn't need to know the answer to.

"Excuse me". He said softly

He saw her head turning to him but her eyes were filled with tears that she wasn't able to see him through them.

"You are stronger than them". He said taking a step away

"They cannot break you, no one could in this world".

"Appi, Appi". She heard her sister shouting her name

Her eyes widen as she cleared her eyes quickly looking a place to hide. He saw the man walking down and she ran towards him holding his hand turning him around so she hides in his chest.

"Please, hide me". She said desperately

He frowned looking at her but then he looked at the bride running down the corridor screaming for her sister.

"Have you seen a woman in a golden and orange dress?". Emaan asked looking at the man

He shakes his head not still in his right mind by having a woman so close to him.

He saw the bride (Emaan) looking down and frowning looking back at him but before she could speak he did, "She is my wife. Can I have some privacy now?".

"Oh, ok, yeah, your wife". Emaan said walking away quickly

She sighs.

She moved away from him after her sister left looking around for assurance.

"She is not here". He said

"I am sorry and thank you for the help". She said softly looking down as she walked away

******
She looked at herself in the mirror and the girl who used to smile and shine in the light of the presence who always stayed with her was gone and so was her shine.

"That is not true". She heard his voice

She turned around looking at him shocked.

"Y-You are not here". She said more to herself

She knew she was hallucinating about him again.

"I am not. You're right. But that doesn't mean that I can't come to guide you". He said smiling

Her eyes filled with tears, "I miss you, Alif. Why don't you stay with me?".

He nodded, "Just because I am not with you anymore doesn't mean that you cannot shine. You will find a new light, he will come to you but you have to open your heart again".

She shakes her head vigorously, "No, it hurts".

"You have to, Sumaiya". He said firm

She continuously shakes her head placing her hand on her ears, "No, no, it hurt so much. It hurts. I cannot do this".

She opened the door in a hurry to leave before her hallucinations turn bad. She bumped into someone as soon as she opened the door almost knocking them both down.

She stepped back steadying herself then slowly raised her head looking at the man standing in front of her looking at her with concern. She stepped more back bumping into the door hissing when her hand was moved.

"Careful". He said softly

"Sorry, it was my fault". She said walking away

******

"Aziz, why are not replying to me". He heard the annoying girl who had been bothering him for a while say

He shrugged.

He took a step away from her tight hold on her only for her to hold his hand again.

He sighs.

He had been doing this for a very long time trying to be away from but she and her mother had not really understood that.

He looked around finding the same woman he had bumped into more time then he would like to bump by a woman, especially but faith was really never was in his side.

"Phopho (father's sister), Ammi Jaan (mother) is calling you". She said softly stopping in front of them in a distance

He saw both the mother and daughter glaring at her making her already small figure even smaller.

"Why can't you do a thing on your own?". Her phopo yelled walking away

"Do you have to be here and ruin everyone mood?". He heard the woman who had been a leech to him say angrily

The woman in front of him didn't even say a word beside he could see her disappearing even when she was right in front of him.

"Sorry". He heard her say as she walked away

He frowned not liking that she didn't say a word back to her or anyone for that matter. He had seen both the same duo hurting her with words and hands and even now they were doing everything to her like it was there right.

He wasn't sure if she had done something to deserve this but he had a strong feeling she didn't do a thing and it was all them.

He pushed the woman who was sticking to him removing her hand on him.

"I don't like when random people stick themselves to me without my permission and I really don't like people who are two faces". He said angrily walking out of this God-forsaken wedding

*****

"You will not go for valima tomorrow". Her mother said angrily

"But-". She started

Her mother slammed her hand on the table making her flinch, "I said you will NOT go so I don't want to see you there tomorrow".

"What about Emaan?". She asked softly

"I will handle her". Her mother said walking away leaving her scattered

It had been the same no matter how many pieces of her shattered and no matter how much she would be torn apart there was no one ever to put them back together. No one likes burden anyway. She was always a burden to start with.

******

"Isn't today your sister valima?. What are you doing in the office?". Her boss- Zeeshan asked

She sighs, "I wasn't feeling well so I decided not to go there and come to work instead. You know I don't like skipping work".

"Yeah, I know too well. I will be in my office since it's late now for you to be here". He said walking away

She looked down not wanting to cry by hearing her word. She remembers the day he left she was back at work the next day. It wasn't because she didn't want to mourn but she had more responsibility she had to bear to leave a day of work.

******

"What's my sweetheart doing here?". She heard her boss wife (Sara) say

She looked at her shaking her head knowing her boss called her, "Working".

"I can see that dummy, why are you doing it now?. Do it tomorrow". Sara said sitting on the table beside her swinging her legs

"I-". She started

"I don't want to there anymore. Everyone is annoying". They heard someone say

She turned around looking at the same man from yesterday but then quickly looked away.

"It was that bad?". Zeeshan asked chuckling at his friend condition

"It was". He said frustrated brushing his hair back

"Wait, the wedding you went to what was the bride name?". Zeeshan asked curiously

"Aiman, Amna, I don't know". He said confused

"Emaan?". Zeeshan asked

He nodded.

Zeeshan eyes widen, "Come with me".

She feels them coming closer to her while Sara kept rambling to her about the recent dog that she liked but couldn't buy unaware of how fast her heart was beating.

"Sumaiya". Zeeshan said standing beside her

She closed her eyes then opened then again looking at him, "Jee (yes)?".

"He was at your sister wedding yesterday". Zeeshan said pointing to Aziz

Aziz looked at her wide eyes that the one woman who wasn't annoying in a way the other woman was yesterday was sitting again in front of him. His eyes on there on move to her hand that she had injured and he saw the bandage wrapped around it making him clench his hands.

She looked at him for a second watching his face turning red then looked down, "I don't know, maybe".

"This is fantastic". Sara said clapping jumping down from the table

As she jumped she stumbled but her husband holds her hand steadying her. Zeeshan glared at her which she ignored turning to the other two.

"I have an idea". She announced making Aziz and Sumaiya groaned

"What is it?". Zeeshan asked smiling

"Let's go to the valima, now". She said grinning

"No". Aziz and Sumaiya say together

Zeeshan and Sara looked at them shaking their head.

"You have no choice". They said

"You know, I just brought a new suit today and it's in the car I will bring it". Sara said

"No, no, I don't want to-". Sumaiya started

"You are going to Sumaiya". Sara said firm

"I don't want to wear that dress, please". Sumaiya said softly

"Why not?". They all asked

She looked at Aziz frowning at him asking the question.

"I just can't". She said

"Well, that is not good enough reason so I will bring you clothes now". Sara said walking away leaving her to think

******

He saw her walking out of the restroom she had been in for only 10 minutes. He hadn't seen anyone preparing for a wedding in that short amount of time but even when his mind told him that he shouldn't be looking at her, his heart begged him to look at her.

He saw her walking in a beautiful dress trying to walk properly in it. She slowly raised her head looking directly at him making his heart skip a beat.

They both looked at each other unaware of the surroundings but someone noticed everything.

******
She walked inside the venue with the other nervously looking around. She heard the same whispers again going around as she takes steps inside.

"It's good we came before your sister entry". Sara said excitedly

She nodded merely.

She feels the glare on her skin burning her and she turned around looking at her mother looking at her. She never understood her glaring at her but she always felt that she was wrong to even be born.

He watched her swishing around looking at an older woman glaring at her. Once again, he could see her form becoming smaller and smaller every passing second. He saw her excusing herself as she walked closer to the woman only for her to grab her injured hand in her hand tightly.

"Ammi (mother)". She said hissing

"Didn't I tell you not to be here?. Who are those men with you?. Do you want everyone to raise their fingers at us?. Do you know that the mother of a daughter is always under radar and you are making it worse for me"? Her mother said angrily

"Ammi (mother), please I am sorry it was all my fault. I will leave soon, I promise". She said trying to take her hand away

"They are calling you". He said not wanting her to be in further pain

She turned around looking at him teary eyes and his heart clenched.

"Ammi (mother), I will leave". She said moving away

******
"Well, your IT is the one I never actually liked". Zeeshan said after hearing his friend whining

"It's not the time to say that. I know you have the best team so I need them to help me for some time". Aziz said annoyed

"At least you agreed that I have a good team". Zeeshan said smiling

"Send me some of your people". Aziz said

"I will look into it". Zeeshan said smirking

He called his wife next telling her the situation and both of them came on the same conclusion.

"Sumaiya, the company is of my good friend and one the best in the field. I want you to help him in any way possible and gain that experience for yourself". Zeeshan said softly

"But-". She started

"I know it's not easy and I won't force you but it's a good offer in term of experience and finance". He said trying her to agree to him

She nodded.

"Then, can I choose who will go with me?". She asked

"You will be the leader there so you can choose anyone. I already know you will choose Shaikhah". He said smiling

"How did you?". She asked shocked

"Because I know you have bonded with her. Inform her about everything and you will leave tomorrow". He said softly

*****

"Ammi (mother), I will be working for another company for some time". She said standing in front of mother

She saw her mother walking away towards the stairs without a word like she had been doing for a long time.

She hadn't eaten a single peaceful meal with her mother. Each time she would sit down on the table her mother would walk away so she stopped coming down letting her younger sister at least live the moment she wanted to live with her mother.

She looked at the sky thinking about the future but she never actually thought about anything besides her pain each night and that is what happened when she broke down crying all night.

*****

"This is my best employee Sumaiya and Shaikhah. They will work for you". Zeeshan said smiling

Aziz looked at his friend shocked then looked back at the woman who wasn't even looking at him.

"Sumaiya, this is Aziz". Zeeshan said gaining her attention

She looked at him with her red eyes which widen when she realised who he was.

"You". She said shocked