The Process - Ch.13
≪ °❈° ≫
Three days past since Jin returned from Japan, eyes red, shoulders slouched. Three days since that night he called V on the phone from his hotel room. Three days since a roller coaster of emotions and images hurled through his brain in such ferocity that left Jin breathless, gasping for air and sanity. V's calm voice through the phone sounded so deep, but so stern at the same time, gripping Jin's nerves in a claw-like grasp. He made Jin hold onto it like a drowning man onto a straw.
-"Everything will be alright Jinnie, stop panicking. Just listen to my voice and breathe."
Jin tried, taking huge amounts of breath, trying to calm down, his head spinning and he held his eyes shut firmly and clutched at the phone on his ear.
-"Breathe Jinnie.... breathe."
-"I can't V... I... I hit him... I did it... he can't walk b-because of m-me... Kookie...."
-"Breathe Jinnie everything is going to be alright."
-"It would n-not... He h-hates m-me..." – Jin sobbed on the phone, his body shaking. His strong composure crumpled down, all masks fell on the ground and he was naked in the memories, self-loathing and pain.
-"Y-you...you were there V... I remember... you were there..."
V kept telling him to calm down, to breathe. His soothing voice soon managed to calm Jin sufficiently, so he fell asleep from exhaustion.
Jin doesn't remember how he got home. He vaguely remembered his manager entering his room when Jin didn't answer his phone. Jin was feverish. Key Hyung was a caring, but practical man, so he went to the apothecary and bought some medication and vitamins, made Jin drink it and load him in the car, waking him sufficiently enough so he could pass the passport control, just according to his schedule.
Jin got home and fell on his bed. V was nowhere around. The images continued to burn through his skull, causing Jin pain and he shivered from the cold. He wrapped himself with the blanket, but pretty soon he was burning with fever.
Jin felt strong hands carrying him, taking off his clothes and laying him into a bathtub, putting his temperature slightly down, then drying him and putting him into clean clothes and between the clean sheets.
-'' V...'' - He calls weakly.
-'' Hush, Jinnie, sleep...''' - V's deep gentle voice said while brushing his fingers on Jin's sweaty locks. Jin kept mumbling nonsense as he woke and fell back into a restless feverish sleep, not knowing what was real and what was a dream.
-"Jinnie Hyung, please come with me! I want to go!"
-"No, Tae I don't want to. Go alone."
-'' T...Tae...'' - Jin tossed in his bed, breathing harshly... -'' Tae!'' – He croaked. He felt someone's hands pinning him gently, but firmly on the bed, as certain memory started playing in his head...again...
-"Jinnie Hyung, please come with me! I want to go!"
-"No, Tae I don't want to. Go alone."
-"But Hyung, it's too late!"
-'' Then don't go Tae! I really don't want to go..."
-"But Hyung, please, I really, really want to go. Please come with me. It would be my first party, but I'm scared to go alone in the dark."
-"Tae, there will be more parties in the future...plus there will be older kids at the party, I don't like them. They drink and smoke and do drugs. I don't understand why you want to go so much.'' - Jin's voice was annoyed. He never liked when Taehyung goes all stubborn and persistent.
-"It is the first one that I've been invited to... and I could bring someone and I want you to come. Please Hyung."
-"My parents would never let me out at this hour."
-"Mine neither, but we can sneak out. Please Hyung."
-"No TaeTae, I am not sneaking out in the middle of the night and plus, we have school tomorrow."
-"But Hyung..."
-"No Tae, you better go home. Stop getting into trouble, and go home. We will go to the arcade tomorrow. I promise. Go home now and sleep. Good night TaeTae."
-"Good night Hyung..."
Jin was crying now.
-'' Tae! Tae, don't go... don't... Tae!'' - He was sobbing. Tears fell on his cheeks as his entire face and neck glistened from sweat and fever. He jerked his head as another memory hit him.
-'' Kookie... No! J-Jungkookie... watch... it...watch it...''
That bloody echo of the car brakes will haunt Jin forever. Where was he? Why did he leave Jungkook alone?
Jin felt his entire body burning up. He heard a deep voice calling him...something cold and wet brushing his brow, but it didn't stop images to haunt him like hounds.
-"Show me..."
Jisung was there, smiling gently. -'' You were hiding and I'm guessing that something bad has happened to you, way worst... but you never spoke about it. You play it cool.''
His voice brought back the sound of the hospital machines. Was it Jungkook again? He wondered.
- ''Doctor he is having a seizure!'' - The nurse was shouting.
Jin felt agony. The fear and pain choked him harshly and he couldn't breathe. He felt trapped behind a thick dark wall. He searched for the exit, but he couldn't find it. And the images...the images kept hitting him, leaving him gasping for air.
The damn meds. And the calm voice, saying. -"You will feel better soon..."
And then V, arrogant and forever teasing. -'' Well... Hello, Jinnie darling...'' - He drawled in his cold, emotionless voice. -'' Long time no see...did you miss me?'' - He asks mockingly. He then grins, all of his pearl teeth at the display. -'' Don't worry love...no one will ever hurt you again.'' - His face was too close. Jin could almost feel his breath on his skin. -'' My dear one...'' – V said through a devilish smirk.
Jin jumped at that memory. There was something jarring with that one. It hit differently than others. There was a huge amount of panic and fear, as well as shock. It triggered something deep within Jin and he felt a huge hole gaping inside of his chest. He gasped, searching in a panic until his hands gripped something firmly, his eyes falling on a gorgeous face and icy blue eyes. V was watching him in deep worry. Jin pulled him forward until his brow was buried in the crook of V's neck. Jin cried, his mind was too hazy that the image of Tae shifted in front of his eyes, surprising him once again.
-"Hyung." - There's a weak call. It was Tae's voice.
It began to slip away, and Jin panicked. He didn't want to be alone. -'' No...n-no...don't leave me... V! Don't leave me...Tae...Tae!''
He felt V's grip tighten around him. -'' I'm here love, I'm here...''
-'' Don't leave me...don't leave me... please.'' - Jin sobbed, trashing his head. -'' Don't leave me...''
In the end, he just murmured exhaustedly.
- "Jungkook! No!" - He screams and the car brakes screech again. Jin finds himself in his car, trying to catch his breath. The pain on his forehead indicates that he hit his head pretty well. An opened safety bag was responsible for the current deprivation of oxygen, which made Jin gasp for air. He opened his eyes slightly only to see V staring at him with wide icy blue eyes.
-"Jinnie! Jinnie, are you alright? Are you hurt? Everything is going to be fine."
Jin blinks confusingly. V? How are you here?
He was confused. His body was bound to his bed, while his mind was elsewhere. He didn't know what was real and what was not.
V felt it too, so he started humming the lullaby... the same calming one he hummed on the rooftop. Jin inhaled sharply and held his breath in his lungs for a moment or two, his entire body paralysed by the deep melodic sound of V's voice. The images stopped, the memories stopped, and the outer sounds stopped. Jin thought even his heart stopped for a brief second, as nothing could be heard, except for V's humming.
Jin let the breath go slowly and stopped tossing, still holding V's shirt tightly. V kept humming and brushing his fingertips on Jin's face. He felt his muscles relaxing under V's touch. Sleep finally took over Jin's mind as he heard a quiet voice. - '' Sleep my dear Jinnie, sleep...''
The calm, quiet darkness finally engulfed him into a strong dreamless embrace.
...
When Jin finally woke from his restless dream, V was there, sitting on the edge of his bed, observing him quietly. He had one hand on Jin's temple, while he reached for the glass of water on the nearside table. He put his hand on the back of Jin's neck to raise him up sufficiently enough so he could drink.
-'' Drink Jinnie, you lost a lot of liquid, you need water.'' - He says in a strangely gentle voice.
Jin obeyed and drank. His throat felt dry, and water never tasted sweeter. When the glass was almost empty, he pushed it from his lips weakly and V gently lay him down again.
-'' How do you feel Jinnie?'' – V asked and Jin croaked.
-'' Like s-shit'' – He made a joke and V's lips twitched at the corners.
-'' That bad huh?'' - V's eyes gleamed and Jin barely smiled at that. Even now, V was leaving him out of breath.
-'' You had n-no idea... p-plus...you are not helping...like...at all...'' - Jin murmured groggily.
V's brows furrowed at that, but Jin chuckled and slurred. -'' You...y-you are distracting m-me...I can't recover...want you to...kiss me.''
V smiled gently and placed his lips on Jin's temple, Jin scowled at him.
-'' Not like that.'' – Jin growled weakly and grabbed a fist full of V's shirt, dragging him down to his face. V smiled and allowed Jin to press his lips on his, kissing him tenderly for a moment or two before disengaging his shirt from Jin's grip and caressing the hair from his sweaty brow. V kept smiling and asked again.
-'' How do you feel now?''
-'' Much better. – Jin said with a relaxed smile, which made V look at him with such affection, that Jin was paralyzed. V never looked at him like that. The lustful, hungry, angry and even pitiful glares sure... but affectionate one...Jin was lost for words.
He gazed at him, marvelling at his beauty, his perfect face, icy blue eyes that were looking at him so tenderly. It felt so unreal, that Jin had to ask.
-'' V... Am I dreaming still?''
V laughed. He laughed! Yup, Jin is definitely dreaming. There is no way V would laugh so carefree.
-'' Wasn't the kiss real enough?'' – V asked amused.
-'' No...'' - Jin shook his head. - '' It felt like a dream to me.''
V chuckled. -'' Now you are just being cheesy.''
Jin sighed deeply, almost disappointingly. -'' Yup, a dream... there is no way you would be this cheerful and gentle with me in reality.''
V's smile faltered at that. -'' I was worried about you. You were sick, high on fever, rambling about nonsense.''
Jin pouted at V's words. -'' I called you...'' - He said quietly.
V hummed in praise and nuzzled his nose in Jin's cheek, kissing it slightly. -'' Just like I've told you, love. You had done well.''
-'' But...'' - Jin blinked and said with a slight whine. - '' I needed you...''
-'' You were on your way home...'' - V kissed Jin's jaw and then went to the sensitive flesh of Jin's neck. - '' Y-you were coming home to me.''
-'' To you?'' – It was more of a question than confirmation, Jin wasn't sure. He felt V purring, that deep rumbling sound within his throat, nodding slightly.
-'' But you came back then...'' - Jin stammered, blinking rapidly as he tried to remember correctly. -'' You came when I...when I ran over Jungkookie with my c-car...you were there... I remembered you.''
V sat up, face instantly serious, his playful spirit completely gone, but before he could admit or deny his involvement, Jin spoke again.
-'' Tell me V... how come you were there when that happened? And where were you later on?''
V sighed quickly, his voice ice cold. -'' I don't know what you're talking about. I wasn't there Jin.''
-'' Yes, you were.''
-'' No, Jin, you've mixed things up.''
Jin was deeply annoyed by this blatant denial. He knows what he saw. He saw him then and there. He grew angry. - ''I remembered your face, V.'' - He said sternly. His voice, however, didn't match his temper. He was too weak. -'' I've heard your voice asking me If... if I'm hurt...telling me that I am safe... I remember V! Do not tell me I'm imagining it!''
-'' I didn't say that.'' - V replied in an exasperated voice. – '' But that you probably mixed the time when I said that.''
Jin was scowling at him now and V exhaled sharply in annoyance.
-'' Clearly, you don't recall, Jin, but that was the period when you disappeared on me. I found you months later. I have no idea who this guy...Jungkookie is.'' – He chuckled at the nickname. -'' One thing is certain.'' - He adds. - '' If I were there, you won't be in that predicament in the first place. Whatever happened to you back then, Jin, I would have made sure that you are safe.''
Jin was still glaring at him, but the force of V's stare was unmoving, and Jin felt his convictions falter and his eyes soon lost the sharp angry edge they had. Jin lowered his eyes.
-'' But, I was sure...'' - Jin mumbled. He felt V's hand grasping his.
-'' Jin you were sick and you keep mumbling that you remembered a hell of a lot of things, which I am still waiting to hear all about, so there is a pretty good chance that your memories and fever got scrambled and that doesn't mean that you imagined things, but that they are simply wrongly placed in the time table.''
Jin was silent. His gaze focused on the wall behind V. He just realized that he was not in his own room, but in V's. -'' This is not my room.'' – He said suddenly, making V confused for a brief moment. He looks at V. – ''This is your room.''
V chuckles. -'' I know it's my room, Jin. You've been sleeping in my bed for two days now.''
-'' But...why?'' - Jin asked doumbfounded.
-'' So I can observe you more carefully. Like I've said before, I was worried about you.''
Jin kept silent, looking around the room. This is the second time he was in it and this time weirdly he had permission. He remembered the first time he entered V's room without it, while V was sleeping, wanting to take a picture of him, only to be pinned down to the bed and dismissed roughly some moments later with a raging boner.
-'' What are you thinking, Jin?'' – V asked and Jin's warm brown eyes fell on his cold blue ones. He was an enigmatic man for sure. Jin thought he would never fully understand V, his actions and his behaviour. In one moment he is gentle with him, animated, but next, he spits fire, almost ignoring Jin completely. It was unsettling, too unpredictable and Jin decided it wasn't worth explaining his thoughts, so he said instead.
-'' I'm hungry.''
V raised his eyebrows at that and Jin was pretty sure that V knew he wasn't telling the truth. Baring his glare deep into Jin's soul, V was searching for something but decided to let it slip. Jin could sense care and worry behind that icy glare and maybe even a bit of fear. No, that's ridiculous, why would V feel fear? He wasn't afraid of anything. That was one cold mother fucker.
As if hearing his thoughts, V got up from the bed and left the room without a word. Jin thought that he got angry, which would not be the first or most definitely the last time either, but V returned some ten minutes later with some warm instant chicken noodle soup and a sandwich.
Jin rose into a sitting position, leaning on the pillows and allowed V to feed him since he was too weak to hold the bowl. He ate in silence for a while. V started to tear the sandwich into small bites so Jin could chew easily.
-'' So... '' - V began while placing the piece of food in Jin's mouth. – ''Will you tell me what happened? What...'' - V's deep voice slightly wavered. It was too quick for anyone else to notice, but Jin, who was acutely aware of everything V does, didn't miss it. -'' What did you remember?'' – He asked, not looking at Jin, but rather concentrating fully on the task of ripping Jin's sandwich.
Jin was studying him for a while, chewing slowly. V's expression was calm. He was concentrating way too carefully on food, which told Jin that he is eagerly waiting for him to start talking...waiting for him to open up...waiting for something.
-'' Well...'' - Jin started slowly after he swallowed one small piece of food. – '' I remember what happened after you left me on that rooftop...''
...
Jin spent the next five days in bed, he was lazy. V was coming in and out of his room, bringing Jin food and helping him bathe until Jin felt strong enough to roam around the house on his own. They didn't talk much after he told him about his past, at least the bits he remembered. He didn't get into details of his relationship with Jisung and Joy or Hwan for that matter, preferring to keep their bedroom tales to himself, since the dark gleam raged in V's eyes when Jin told him about his father and Namjoon.
V was silent, deep in thought, but expertly avoided all, of Jin's questions about where he was and what he was doing when all of that happened in Jin's life. The only thing V said is that Jin had called him, not quite himself a year ago and told him that he is tired and that he is done with everything. He told V where he is when asked, adding bluntly that he is an asshole and that he should go fuck himself. Jin groaned at V's words and V smirked.
-'' You were always quite a teaser, Jinnie...''
As it turned out, V had found him later that day in the bathtub in his hotel room. Jin was completely submerged under the water. V wasn't sure whether or not Jin was trying to kill himself or he simply was meditating underwater, but V reacted purely on instinct and pulled him out.
-'' Luckily I was in the same city as you that day.'' – V said dryly.
The rest was history...
...
Jin had several memory-crushing episodes since then, but he was getting better and better at handling them. Still, he wasn't in the mood to socialize with his friends, until Jimin, Hobi and Yoongi came barging into his apartment.
-'' What do you think you are doing?'' – Jimin growled at him, composing faster than the other two, after seeing Jin's weak and thin form in front of them. Jin told them he was sick, but that he is ok now and that's when Jimin burst.
-'' You don't answer our messages or our calls!!! We were worried!!! Why didn't you let us know that you were sick!!?! We would be here to help you. I would be here!!!''
-'' I didn't want to worry you...'' - Jin tried to defend himself. -'' Besides my friend was here. He helped me.''
-'' Oh he was, was he?!'' - Jimin says with his temper rising. -'' Where is he now?! Why isn't he here, looking after you?!'' - He bombarded Jin with the question, not liking Jin's crush one bit. -'' I would have stayed with you all the time!!!– Jimin was furious.
Jin blinked a few times, finding his friend's anger and worry adorable rather than scary. He smiled at Jimin. -'' He is at work and I don't need him right now. The worst is passed.'' – He said with such nonchalance that Jimin wanted to give him a few good smacks. He launch at Jin but was caught by Hoseok.
-'' Jiminie, calm down.'' – He said sternly. Jimin tried to break from Hyung's protective grip.
-'' Let go Hyung, he needs a good slap, sick or not!''
Everyone chuckled at that.
-'' Oh Jiminie how I love your cute little kinky ass.'' – Hoseok was giggling in amusement. - '' If I was into men, I would lay my ass down for you to spank me as much as you like. Or...is it you that prefers being spanked, my dear friend?''
-'' Eww Hyung, that's nasty, let go...let go...'' - Jimin was struggling in earnest now.
Jin and Hobi roared with laughter, but Yoongi bit his lip at that.
Jimin managed to break free, fixing up his hair and the wrinkles in his clothes before going to Jin calmly and looking at him seriously.
-'' Never do that again, Hyung! We care about you...you are our friend. I was worried sick when you didn't answer any of my messages.''
At that Jin pulled Jimin in a tight hug and buried his nose in Jimin's hair. -'' I am sorry Jiminie...I wasn't feeling well, but even so...I should have called, I am sorry. Forgive me?''
He looked at Jimin's face while saying the last bit, asking for forgiveness. Jimin's mouth spread slowly into a small smile before it broke into a huge grin and he hugged Jin tighter.
-'' I could never be angry at you, Hyung.'' - He admits. -'' Not for long anyway.'' - He added.
They felt someone crush them both into a hug and scream in their ears.
-'' Oh, you are making me soft! Stop it!'' – Hoseok screeched in joy, while Yoongi's voice filled with boredom spoke suddenly.
-'' Alright, alright, that's enough...let the man breathe.''
Jin disengaged from their warm embrace and stood to greet Yoongi. He was his closest friend. The two shared many moments together, especially when Jimin was on his business trips. Yoongi just looked at him, his lips in a firm pout.
-'' You know...Jiminie is right...we were worried...''
-'' I'm sorry Yoongi...'' - Jin began, but Yoongi raised his hand to stop him from talking.
-'' It's all fine now, it's all in the past...'' - This sentence brought the memory of Jisung, and Jin felt his ears go red.
-'' Do that again, though, and I will kick your ass. Copy that?''
Jin chuckled, trying to imagine Yoongi doing that, but in no way did he doubt his friend's words. He knew that Yoongi would do exactly the thing he said he would. He was a man of many talents and being a badass was one of them.
-'' Copy that, Yoongi-ssi.'' – He used honorifics, to emphasize his words in a funny mocking way, which earned him a punch in the shoulder from the latter. Jin yelped.
-'' Aish, that hurt.''
-'' Serves you right. Now come, we are taking you out.'' - Yoongi said.
-'' Where?'' – Jin asked, but before he could get an answer, Hoseok caught his hand and spoke looking at Jin's hair disapprovingly.
-'' You need some pampering.''
-'' We need to do something ...you look terrible.'' – Jimin chimed.
-'' I do not!'' - Jin protested. -'' I'm always handsome.''
Jimin shook his head. -'' Not right now, you don't. Don't worry, though, you will be. I have a plan.''
-'' Why I'm I suddenly scared?'' – Jin asked with wide eyes, looking at smirking Yoongi and Hobi.
-'' Hah, well you should be.'' – Hoseok said and went on laughing, seeing Jin's wide eyes grow even wider.
__________________________________________________________
I am sorry for the slow update, but I'll try to make it up to you by posting two long chapters today. I hope you will enjoy =)
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro