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Jin walked like a zombie on his way to his room. All the things Jisung told him were too much for him. He felt terrible, he felt lost again. He held his mask on, looking a little shaken, but composed and even though Jisung knew him quite well, he never figured out how huge was the internal fight in Jin's mind right now. They finished their breakfast and talked some more. Jin was getting a call from his manager Key about some lunch later today, but Jin wasn't capable of anything right now. He just wanted to curl up in his bed and cry. He sent him a message saying he didn't feel very well.

Around noon, he said goodbye to Jisung, promising to stay in touch and come to visit him the next time he comes to Tokyo. They kissed in a secluded ally, careful not to be seen. Jin wished he could appreciate his time with Jisung more, but the knowledge he gained weighed heavily on his mind.

He reached his hotel when his phone buzzed. He read the message, not entirely acknowledging it.

From: Key Hyung

"You missed a very important lunch today Jin, but I told them that you got sick, it's fine. The plane flies tomorrow at 9 am. The car will pick you up at 7 am sharp. Don't be late. Key"

He pocketed his phone and search for the room key. He was perfectly calm, he looked emotionless, while all he wanted was to scream and cry. He remembered the pain, the guilt and Jungkookie's glare. Damn, he will never forget it.

...

-"Fuck, Jungkook, I am sorry. " – Kook was sitting on his hospital bed, covered with a blanket. The doctor told him to lie down, because of the stitches, but Kook sent him off with a curse and sat up. He was glaring at Jin now with hate.

-'' There is nothing you can tell me now...I will not accept your apology.'' - He hissed at Jin. -'' I don't care if you are sorry. I don't care if you regret ever coming into her bed. I just don't give a shit!'' – He screamed the last part and Jin flinched.

-'' Kookie...''

-'' Shut up! Don't you dare use that name! It's only for those people who actually care for me and you are not one of them! ''

Jin pursed his lips and went silent. Jungkook huffed, tilting his head a little and chuckled in annoyance.

-'' And Jisung Hyung, that asshole, called my parents. How the fuck did he knew their number?!''

-'' He found it in your phone and thought it's best to...'' - Jin started but was cut off by Kook's harsh words.

-'' Best!? Best to call my parents, the same people I ran from!?'' - There was venom in his voice, he was almost unrecognizable. -'' What amazing logic, I am awestruck!''

-'' They wouldn't try to force you into anything now, Kook...''

Jungkook burst into laughter. - ''Oh of course not. I am not their perfect son anymore. I am a cripple, Jin! I am seventeen and I'm a fucking cripple! Just because some asshole run me over!''

Jin felt Kook's eyes glaring deep into his skull. Jin couldn't read him. He has no idea whether or not Kook knew that it was him who hit him with his car. Jin remained silent.

-'' What? No words, Jin? No those cool words of "everything is going to be fine Kookie, don't worry" kind of bullshit? I'm impressed. You always had some sort of comeback, but guess it's too much to imagine what to say to a bloody fucking crippl...''

-'' STOP CALLING YOURSELF THAT!!!'' – Jin bellowed. Kook's eyes went wide but furrowed soon into a scowl.

-'' But it's the truth Jin, whether your sensible head would accept it or not. I. Am. A. Cripple! I can't walk... I would never walk again!'' – There is a tremble in Kook's voice. He was fighting his self-control with everything he got. Jin knew he was near breaking point.

-'' I...I will never fulfil my dreams... I-I would never dance again.'' – His voice cracked and a sob escaped him. – ''You broke my heart, Jin... I trusted you! You were like a brother to me! I told you everything! All of it! Only you!''

He started shouting again through sobs. - ''You knew what she meant to me! You knew how much I love her. I don't fucking care what do you thought she was like, I knew her! You...y-you s-seduce her. No one could resist that face and that charm  of yours and you fucking know it!''

He covered his face with his hands. He was crying now, huge sobs wrecking his body.

-'' Oh God... You ripped my heart away... ''- He said into his hands and Jin felt his own tears falling down on his cheeks. - '' I can't dance... shit... I can't walk again... fuck...''

Jin couldn't help it, he run to him. Hugging him tightly, feeling enormous guilt and pain. He wanted to kill himself. He destroyed Kook's life in order to help him, but with what... Seulgi, no matter what she is, would never hurt him so much. Fuck, Jin hated himself right now!

Jungkook struggled. -'' G-get t...the f-fuck away f-from me!! ''– He tried to get away, but Jin was stronger. He held him tighter and cradled him in his arms crying with him.

-'' L-let me go!'' - It was the last attempt at fighting before the dam crashed and he began sobbing painfully. He held the hem of Jin's sleeve as he cried his eyes out. His head buried under Jin's chin as pour his soul into tears and all the pain he felt into hearth breaking sobs that shook his entire body. He clung to Jin as his entire world began to crumble to pieces. Jin cried with him, hugging him like he never did, wanting to protect him from all of this pain and suffering...and yet... he was the cause of this pain. He, himself. 

They stayed like that for a while, until Jungkook calmed down a bit and pulled back from Jin's embrace. He sniffed, brushing his tear-stained face with his shirt sleeves.

-'' I think you should leave, Jin.'' - He choked out.

-'' Kook, I...'' - Jin begins but Jungkook cuts him.

-'' Don't say anything anymore... j-just leave...'' - He said, composing himself sufficiently enough not to cry again. As Jin didn't move, Jungkook sighed heavily and mumbled weakly.

-'' I...I can't look at you anymore. You make me feel so many different emotions right now. I love you and I hate you...I can't... just....just go.''

Jin nodded, eyes blinding him with tears. He rose up from the bed and went to the door. He turned at the last moment.

-'' I never meant to hurt you, Kook. I love you very much. I know it doesn't seem that way, but I always wanted the best for you. I am sorry.''

He turned and grasped the door handle ready to depart when he heard Jungkook's voice.

-'' Hyung...'' - Jin turned to look at him, eyes wide. Kook was gnawing his lower lip, looking at Jin's face for some time, debating his own monologue in his head.

-'' Don't come to see me...I don't want to see you....ever...again.''

...

Jin sat at the edge of the bed in his hotel room, staring blankly into nothing. His shoes and jacket were simply tossed on the floor. He took a bottle of water and emptied it. He felt nauseous. His body trembled slightly and he could feel something is about to happen.

He shuts his eyes when a sharp pain started burning in his head. Images started to flow once more, and he wasn't ready for them...not one bit.

.

.

.

The image of Kook in a wheelchair punched him in the gut hard. He couldn't stay away from Jungkook. He kept visiting him in the hospital secretly. Always observing him from afar.

- "Don't come to see me...I don't want to see you....ever...again." - Jungkook's words echoed in his mind. Then the image changed with a woosh to the same hall he was running through.

Woosh.

- "Show me..." - It echoed, and Jin felt his head buzzing. He saw Namjoon again. Still looking great and sexy. A pang of sadness came rushing into Jin at the image of him.

Woosh. 

- "So how long have you been coming here?" - The voice asked and then his head swirled into another one and there was blood. He was crying. "I can't take this anymore...."

Woosh. The meds came to his mind again. He remembered clearly taking them. He still didn't know for what.

Then Tae appeared the prom night all over again. -'' Just ignore them Jinnie. Don't pay attention to them." - Then, woosh, another image of Taehyung crying brokenly, and Jin's own voice. -  "They can't hurt you now...."

It reminded Jin of Jungkook at the hospital, making him want to scream. "I am sorry Kook..."

Then, woosh, the image of Seulgi in bed and Jin whispering. "He can never give you what you crave the most."

Woosh, a bandaged hand and wrists. The feeling of emptiness. 

Another whoosh and it was Jin and V on the rooftop. - "Bring him back!"

Woosh, Taehyung's voice echoed in his mind at a loud volume. -"Jinnie Hyung, please come with me! I want to go!" 

It was the same as before, only this time there was a response. -"No, Tae I don't want to, go alone."

Jin was crying hysterically now, the images brought back some heavy emotions and he was suffocating. 

Woosh.

"I'm here now...you're safe..." - V's face came, all bright and strong.

Woosh. The car brakes screeched and Jungkook's scared face was there.

- "Jungkook! No!"

.

.

.

Woosh. Woosh. Woosh. The images just flew and Jin was gasping for air. He felt like he was drowning and burning again, he didn't realize that he was biting his hand to stop the screams. The memories were overwhelming.

Namjoon, Jungkook, Seulgi, the strange red room, Tae...Oh my God Tae...Jin thought. There was such a pain he felt when he remembered Tae again. He missed him like crazy, but the car screeching sound at the last memory was branded in his brain. The painful memory and self disgust were too much for him to bear alone.

He picked up his phone and with shaky hands he searched through his contacts. He pressed the Dial button. A deep, cold rasping voice answered and Jin felt something like a knife, slicing across his abdomen.

-'' Jinnie?'' - It was called when Jin didn't say anything.

Jin was sobbing now on his phone. -'' V...''

-'' Jin?! Jin what's wrong?''  – There is an honest concern in V's voice.

-'' V...''  - Jin tried again, but failed, bawling on his sleeve.

-'' Jinnie...''  - V said much softly. – ''Love, what's wrong? Talk to me...''

Jin was choking as he sobbed. -'' I-I remembered...'' - Jin somehow managed to croak.

-'' Remember what, Jinnie?'' – V asked maybe too cautiously, but Jin didn't make anything out of it.

-'' I remember w-what h-happened three years ago...''

There was a slight silence and then quiet. -'' Fuck...''

It was all he said.

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The next chapter will be a little lighter, I promise. Jin needs a break after all of his horrors from the past and Jiminie, Yoongi and Hobi will help him to remember, at least for the moment how beautiful and joyful life could be.  I am sorry for the dark parts of the story. I don't know why I got this need to torture Jin so much,  I love him, I truly do.... but the insane idea that made me start writing this story won't leave me alone, so I must... Thank you all for your votes and comments... for being there with me...

6neVer_en0ugh9 - Girl I purple you... your thoughts and talks are always cherished. Your own stories are very loved and I always squeak with joy whenever you post a new chapter online. Thank you ♡ ♡♡