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Jimin sat in the bathtub. The water was almost cold, but he didn't care. He was crying, severely only twenty minutes ago. Now he felt numb and weak to get up. The echo of Yoongi's song replayed in his head over and over again. It was beautiful and painful. It shook Jimin to his very core. The piano played the song of Yoongi's heart and Jimin fell more and more into the pool of his emotions. The news was the first trigger, the letter was a shot in the heart, but the song... the song was everything...

The news about Yoongi was devastating, he couldn't believe them. He couldn't believe that his Hyungs didn't tell him anything about it for two weeks. For two weeks he lived and worked comfortably, not knowing that his best friend, his love, is in the hospital, in a coma, after he tried to kill himself. All because of him. Because he left. It was the last nail in the coffin.

One of his acquaintances called him to ask about Yoongi. It was like someone cut him in half. Jimin just fell on his knees, clutching his heart. He called Hoseok, screaming into his phone. It was so terrible, so painful, Jimin lost his control. He broke down, crying hysterically. It took Hoseok half an hour to calm him down through the phone and convince him not to return home just yet. It was a mess.

How could Yoongi do this thing?? How could he give up his life so easily? How dare he leave me like that? Jimin stopped at this though. What a hypocrite he is. Leaving was exactly what he did to Yoongi...but he never meant to stay so long away from him. Jimin just needed the time to think, to clear some things with himself, but Yoongi couldn't wait and how could he...he didn't know what Jimin planned. He thought that Jimin left him for good. Jimin never answered his calls...he never told him anything. It caused him to fall back into his darkness. Jimin wasn't there to pull him out of it again...what's worse, he was the trigger. Yes, Jimin left so he could return, but Yoongi... Yoongi tried to leave for good. Death is so certain, so...terminal.

Imagining how Yoongi must have felt, lost and abandoned. Heartbroken...betrayed...only because he loved him truly and deeply...oh...Jimin felt like a real piece of crap now. He allowed his fear to grip him so strongly that he missed the truth. He never considered life without Yoongi in it. Fuck...

Earlier that evening, while he prepared himself for a bath, he remembered Yoongi's package that Jin gave him at the airport. He put it in his bag, thinking of opening it later on, but he forgot about it. Remembering suddenly he ran to his bags and started digging through them until he found it. He carefully unwrap the improvised newspaper wrapper and discovered one CD and a letter.

He sat on the floor, crisscrossing his legs. He placed CD next to him, deciding to read the letter first. He opened the note with shaky hands and took a few large breaths before he started reading. He knew that whatever was in it, it would be hard to take in. His heart skipped when his eyes fell on Yoongi's thin and neat handwriting.

My dear Jiminie.

Whatever I was about to tell you, simply disappeared from my mind just now and all that carefully structured sentences and chosen words were lost, but I do owe you an explanation. I do owe you the truth.

The truth is that I loved you ever since the first time I saw you. It's quite impossible not to, everybody does. But the thing is...I understood to what length, somewhat later. I think it all started that day when we all went to Busan for that dancing competition you and Hobi participated in. You were amazing. I always thought that you should win, but damn.

Jiminie, I always thought that you were young and adorably cute, but that day I saw you in a completely different light. When you dance, you light up. You became a beautiful force of energy, strong and gracious and unbelievably attractive. I was completely smitten by your presence.
Later that evening, when others were dancing drunkenly and singing in our hotel room, you and I sat on the balcony, watching the stars. That was the first time we actually sat and talk seriously about all kinds of things. I was mesmerized by your intelligence, your charm and sweetness. You were utterly amazing. That's when I saw you, truly for the first time.

That was the moment I fell in love with you.

You know Jiminie, life isn't fair sometimes. It doesn't give us what we want the most. Sometimes we get the right things at the wrong time, but sometimes we get nothing and everything. For me, it was the last part. I have everything and nothing with you. The life and friendship we shared, it's rare. A lot of people never had that, we were lucky. I was lucky enough to have you with me. I should be happy, but I was selfish. I wanted your attention and your love. I wanted you to love me and look at me in the same way I see and love you. I lived with that need in my heart and yet I knew that it was not meant to be.

It was easy at first to behave as your good friend only, but over time, I started allowing myself certain things that I shouldn't and yet I was helpless to stop them because to me they seemed right.

I should have stopped you that night. I should have taken you home and put you inside your bed, doing nothing much, but kissing your forehead only for goodnight and leaving you to sleep. I should have stayed your best friend. I should have fought the urge to kiss you... I should have... I know, but fuck it, Jiminie, I wanted it too much.

I don't know if you hate me now, or not, but I hope you will forgive me. Forgive my boldness and my behaviour. I never meant to hurt you... I love you too much. I know and I understand your point of view. I had a lot of time to think about it. It doesn't make things any less painful, but at least they gave me some peace of mind. I needed that.

I wrote you a song, just to have something to remember me by...I am selfish enough to want that at least....for you to remember me. I don't want to disappear from your life completely. I hope you will listen to it. I hope that you will forgive me and that you won't be mad at me. I hope you will find the happiness you deserve. I hope you will remember the moments we had. They were happy ones. I cherish them and replay them in my head over and over again.

I will love you till the end...and after...Forgive me.

Yoongi

Huge drops of tears destroyed almost one-third of the letter. Jimin was sobbing now. It took him some while until he rose up, holding the disk in his hands firmly. The bath was ready for some time now, before Jimin sank into it, after playing Yoongi's disk through his laptop and increasing the volume so he could hear it well in the bathroom, through the opened door. The first sounds of the music send chills down his skin, even though he was submerged under warm water. Yoongi poured his entire heart into this piece of art. Jimin could recognize his Hyung in every second of it. He started crying again heavily...hyperventilating. He clutched his heart and his head. He didn't know what hurts him the most...his head...or his heart.

-'' Hyung...''  - He cried. – '' Hyung I'm sorry... I am so... so sorry...'' 

...

-'' When did the doctor say that he would wake up?'' – Jin asked Hoseok, who stood in front of the sink, which was across Yoongi's bed, watching his reflection in the mirror.

Hoseok looked exhausted. He had dark circles under his eyes and his usual bright personality was almost non-existent. He turned, glancing over at motionless Yoongi, sighing deeply.

-'' He said that his vital signs were good and that he should gain consciousness any time now. I guess he would wake up when he feels ready.''

Jin nodded. He himself was discharged from the hospital a week ago, but was in it every day, visiting Yoongi. V protested, saying he should get rest, but Jin insisted and there he was, standing next to Yoongi's bed, looking down at him.

-'' C'mon my friend, you can do it...came back to us...'' - He whispered while caressing Yoongi's hand.

The small creek made them look at the door. There stood Jimin, blond and beautiful, even with a tormented expression on his face.

-'' Jiminie!'' – Hoseok exclaimed and ran to his friend. They hugged strongly, but shortly. -'' Jiminie, what are you doing here?''

Jimin's eyes were fixated on Yoongi, but at that, he looked at Hobi before letting him go and moving towards Jin.

-'' As I could stay away...'' - He said sadly. -'' Ah, Jinnie Hyung...thank you...thank you so much for returning him to me.''

-'' I didn't...the doctors did.''  – Jin said hugging the younger man tightly. –'' I just cursed his ass all the way through.''

Jimin chuckled weakly. -'' Then you did what I would.'' - He said through his tears.

-'' I am still waiting for him to wake up so that I could kick his sorry ass.'' - Jin said darkly.

Jimin smiled gently at Jin at those words, but his eyes quickly fell on Yoongi again and his features grew serious. He walked to the bed, picked up one of Yoongi's hands and kissed it.

-'' Oh, Hyung, I am so sorry...'' - The tears started to flow again and Jimin tried to brush them away, but it was to no avail. -'' I was so...so stupid Hyung...please forgive me...'' - Jimin spoke quietly, sniffing sweetly.

Jin nodded to Hoseok towards the door and Hobi understood, moving quietly out of the room with Jin following him close by to give their friends some privacy.

Jimin didn't notice them gone. He didn't see or hear anything, but Yoongi.

-'' Hyung, forgive me for leaving you... please...I was a foolish boy, please Hyung...'' - Jimin placed a kiss on Yoongi's cheek because the air tubes in Yoongi's mouth were stopping him to reach his mouth. Jimin's heart ached to see him like this, knowing it was his fault. He drive him into this...he left him and he doesn't know why he did it. All the reasons seemed so stupid and weak right now. Was it necessary to nearly lose something so precious, to learn just how precious it is to you, that you can't live without it? Jimin was sure now that he can't live without Yoongi and still be himself. He needed him...he wanted him...he loved him...he cared for him too much.

-'' P-please Hyung... c-come back to me...'' - Jimin muttered into Yoongi's ear and then burst into tears, burying his head in Yoongi's shoulder.

He clutched to Yoongi, placing his right hand across Yoongi's weak chest to hold him close...to show him that he is here, that he is safe in his arms.

-'' Hyung...please... come back... don't leave me... I am sorry... I am so...so sorry...come back to me, Hyung... I love you... Hyung, please...'' - He cried, the sobs ripping his chest from the inside as he tried to hold them in control.

The slow steady sound of the heart monitor skipped a bit and then another and another. Jimin raised his head to look at it and then at Yoongi.

-'' Hyung?''

Yoongi's body twitched and his eyelids flickered. His heart rate quickened and he gave another sharp twitch with his body. His eyes flung open in panic as his hand went to his mouth, weakly trying to rip the tube out of his throat.

-'' Somebody, help!!'' – Jimin yelled frantically. Wide-eyed and shocked, Hoseok and Jin burst inside.

-'' Jiminie, what...?'' – Hoseok starts, but was cut by Jimin who had difficulty holding Yoongi's hands still. – '' Go fetch doctor, Hyung!''

Hoseok ran out and Jin moved swiftly to hold Yoongi still, talking softly at him.

Yoongi's panicked eyes look at Jin, choking, his throat fighting against the inserted tube.

-'' Yoongichi, calm down.'' - Jin said calmly, holding Yoongi's frightened gaze. - '' You have to calm down. Breathe. Feel the air coming into your lungs. Calm your throat. That's it. You are not suffocating. You have air. Breathe. Calm your throat.''

-'' Calm down, Hyung.''

Yoongi's eyes flew on Jimin's face and his heartbeat grew faster, but his eyes stayed fixated on Jimin's. Jimin was showing him how to breathe in and out slowly with his hand above Yoongi's chest, and Yoongi did his best to mimic him. Ten seconds later Hobi burst in with Doctor and nurses on his heels.

Jin and Jimin moved, which caused Yoongi to groan and spasm his throat again.

-'' Don't worry, Hyung, we are here... I am here.'' – Jimin said reassuringly, but still anxious for Yoongi.

-'' Alright Mr Min, my name is Doctor Kim. I want you to try to relax...relax your throat so we could get out of the tubes without hurting you. '' - He said calmly, but firmly. Yoongi's eyes flickered to the nurse who was injecting his infusion bag with some sedative and he instantly felt more relaxed. He returned his gaze back to Doctor Kim and blinked in yes.

The Doctor carefully extracted the tube and Yoongi took a large breath of his own but started coughing right away. After Doctor's quick and effective care, Yoongi calmed down sufficiently and was drowsy again. He was completely exhausted even though he was just woken up from a coma.

Three of his friends stood outside of his room, waiting, but jumped as soon as the door of the room opened and Doctor Kim came out.

-'' Doctor how is he?''  – Hosek wanted to know at the same time Jin asked. -'' Will he be ok?''

-'' Can we see him now?'' – Jimin almost grabbed the Doctors' hand for an answer.

The Doctor looked at them seriously, but with a tired smile.

-'' Your friend has been through a lot. He woke up from a coma and it seems like there is no serious damage to his health after the first examination, but we will run a few tests, later on, to be sure. I'm mostly worried about his lungs. He breathes fine on his own, for now, but we will observe it carefully in the next few days. As for his mental health, well...we will do our best to help him, but the important role here is usually best played by the patient's loved ones...friends and family and partners.

The three men nodded and Jimin asked again.

-'' Can we see him now?''

-'' Yes you may, but one by one, mind... and not for too long. He needs rest. I have to go now, my other patients await me. Have a good day.''

And with those words, Doctor Kim left them.

-'' You go first Jiminie.''  – Jin said and Hoseok nodded.

-'' I don't think... '' - Jimin started, but Hoseok took his arm and dragged him to the door.

-'' He needs to see you, Chim.''  – And he pushed him through the door.

Yoongi was lying on the hospital bed, still mostly attached to machines, but this time he had a small nasal cannula, which increased the airflow in his nose, instead of a tube. His eyes were shut at first, but hearing someone walk to his bed Yoongi opened them.

-'' Jim...Jim...i-ni...''

 -'' I'm here, Hyung. I'm here.''

Yoongi reached slowly to Jimin's blond locks with his hand, and Jimin smiled. -'' Yeah, I had to, for the shooting. Is it looking good?''

Yoongi nodded. -'' It...lo-looks...'' - He coughs, and Jimin hurries to prevent him from talking.

-'' Shhh...Don't try to speak...your vocal cords are still sore.'' - Jimin held his hand again. -'' Hyung... Forgive me for being such a fool, please...''

Yoongi blinked. -'' I'm....s...sor...sorry...'' - Yoongi finally croaked.

-'' Oh, Hyung...what bloody fools we are, both of us...'' - Jimin said smiling at the end.

Yoongi's mouth twitched at the corner in an attempted smile, but he was too tired.

-'' D...don't le...lea-ave... m-me, Ji...Jimi..nie...''

Yoongi barely spoke, his eyes dropping as the medications started working on him. Jimin bend down and kissed his lips gently, causing a slight whimper from Yoongi and said.

-'' I am not going anywhere, Hyung... I promise... I came home...to you. Saranghae.''

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I know I'm still miles away from washing my sins after I made an attempt of murdering one of my beloved characters, but I hope this will help at least a little. Thank you for reading... =)