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-'' Hyung...'' - Jin heard a voice. It was like a mile away. -''  Hyung wake up...wake up Hyung...'' - It repeated itself.

Jin scrunched his eyes, slightly opening them. His sight is blurry, but he manages to see the familiar round eyes. It was Taehyung.

-'' T-Tae?'' – He managed to whisper before he closed his eyes again.

Tae, where are you? Tae!

... 

-'' Jinnie...Jinnie, wake up love...'' - There was another voice, also familiar this time. He shifted slightly, feeling dizzy still.

-'' Where...Where am I?'' – He barely croaked, blinking. His eyes still didn't get used to the neon light and his voice was hoarse like he had scratch marks inside his throat.

-'' You are in the hospital, love.'' - A deep silky raspy voice spoke. Jin felt relief.

-'' V?''  – Jin blinked again, squints his eyes shut and then opened them wide, trying to focus on the man in front of him. -'' V...'' - Jin whined weakly. He felt V's hand on his forehead, caressing him.

-'' Shh...It's ok love...you are ok now.'' -  His voice trembled slightly like he was unsure of his words.

-'' V...'' - Hot tears started burning Jin's eyes and he clutched V's hand.

-'' Hush, darling, hush...'' - V said gently, but Jin continued.

-'' V...I remember Tae... I remember Tae, V... I rem...remembered w-what h-happen...to...him...'' - Jin felt like something is choking him. He barely uttered those words, pulling V closer to him.

-'' Don't leave me... not you too... don't leave me. V, please...p-please...'' - He was crying now and V bend down to place their foreheads together, his long fingers still caressing Jin's hair, while Jin hold onto his other hand frantically.

-'' Shhh...It's ok... I am here as long as you need me...'' - V spoke gently. -'' I was always here, Jinnie...''

-'' W-why didn't you t-told me a-about T-Tae?'' - Jin asked, feeling new tears rushing through his eyes.

V sighed deeply and sat back to look at Jin. He had no idea what to tell him. Jin was looking at him so imploringly, he was so unhappy, that V felt a pang of guilt. He will lie to him again...he must...Jin must not find out about it. He will try to escape it again and V couldn't allow it. He wasn't ready yet.

-'' P-please...V...please...''

V closed his eyes and groaned quietly, squeezing his fist tightly in his lap. He felt nails digging into the flesh of his palm. He should feel pain, but he didn't feel anything really.

What to tell Jin though...that he was so devastated after his best friend's suicide. Some information from his past could trigger a lot of memory and he already remembers so much. V cursed silently and said.

-'' I didn't want you to remember the most painful part of your life, Jinnie...plus...I wasn't there at that time, I came later to your life...but you told me about it and I knew of your pain. I also knew that I never wanted to remind you about it ever again.''

Jin clutched the back of V's hand to his cheek, nuzzling it. - '' Tell me, V... please...Tell me what happened after. I need to know V... I will go mad.'' - Jin confessed in a rushed tone. -'' These...these holes in my memory are slowly driving me crazy. The flashes keep attacking me suddenly, no matter where I am or what I do... I can't....'' – Jin gulped, eyes wide. He stared at V like he was his life belt. -''  I can't control it...It...it hurts me... I need them back V...my memories...I need them back...''

Jin continued pressing V for answers and V growled in annoyance.

-'' You are not ready for the truth, Jin!'' – He said angrily, raising his voice, eyes blazing ice blue, but he quickly composed himself clearing his throat. He took a deep breath, seeking the centre of his core within himself, so he can speak calmly again. -'' Jinnie... you are unwell...you need to recover first.'' - He says patiently. -'' The news...the news of yet another friend's suicide was too much to bear, Jinnie, and I know that. I am truly sorry you have to go through that twice.''

-'' Yoongi isn't dead.'' – Jin said defiantly.

Yet. V thought, but instead, he said. – '' No, he was lucky enough that you were around to save him.'' You gorgeous dummy...you should have left him to die and not risked your own life. V kept his thoughts to himself. It's better if Jin never finds out about his dislike towards Jin's friends. V didn't like them. They were distractions...a nuisance...

He was nudged from his thoughts by Jin, who brought his shaky hand to touch V's face. V froze for a second, but relaxed soon after, seeing that Jin only wanted to touch his skin with his fingertips. V leaned into the touch, purring, eyes closed. He loved him and he will always protect him, no matter what. But he was not about admitting that to Jin...not yet anyway.

-'' V... '' - Jin said softly. – '' How did we meet?''

V opened his eyes at that. -'' How did who meet?

-'' You and me?'' - Jin clarifies.

-'' You know how we met, Jin.'' - V spoke with narrow face.

-'' No, I don't...not really.'' - Jin insisted.

-'' Jin...'' - V said sternly. – '' We met on the rooftop that night, remember?''

-'' No, V.'' - Jin shakes his head. -'' That's not it... it doesn't seem right. The feeling...it doesn't feel right. I feel like there is more, especially because I remember that Tae...''  – He choked again.

V looked around the room annoyed. Oh, Jinnie, you stubborn mule!

-'' You won't leave me alone until I tell you, yes?'' - He asked irritated.

Jin nodded slightly, not saying a word. V let exasperated breath and rose up from the bed, to go to the window. He peaked outside for a moment or two, trying to think of what to tell Jin. All this time Jin didn't speak. He knew perfectly well that if he wants answers he need to push and then wait for V to decide.

-'' Yes, I lied...just now...''  - V said, looking at the floor. – ''We met way before that night on the roof, you just couldn't remember.''  - He went silent after that and Jin had to use his self-restraint not to ask anything.

-'' We were very different...you and I...back then.'' - V said slowly after a while, raising his head up a bit to look at the ceiling. He was very careful with his words, dragging them slowly, to give himself more time. He bit his lip in concentration. He was gorgeous, Jin thought.

-'' You were much colder...which is natural, after everything that happened.''  – V turned to look at Jin, walking slowly towards the bed again. - '' You see, you closed yourself. You hid behind a huge thick brick wall.''

V sat on Jin's bed, one leg bent, so he could face him properly. He lean his elbow on his knee and licked his lips. -'' Your parents were worried about you, Jinnie... Taehyung's death shook you to the core and you were never the same afterwards. At first, I thought that you were in love with him, but then I realized that you had some twisted devotion towards the kid. You adored him. He was your light in many ways and once it was extinguished, you found yourself in pitch-black darkness. You were utterly lost. That's when you met me.''

He took a small pause, smiling slightly at the memory.

-'' Not knowing what to do with you, your parents placed you in a psychiatric hospital, where you were under constant supervision by Doctor Bhang.

Jin's eyes grew wide. He was in the mental institution?! Fuck! Bloody Hell!

-'' They didn't know how to help you. You were completely unresponsive, and you barely eat... you did everything they told you to do, but it was mechanical, robotic even. So they knew you needed help.

...

-'' I don't know what more to tell you, Mr and Mrs Kim.'' - Doctor Bhang was speaking calmly. Both of Jin's parents were sitting in the chair across from him, with worried looks on their faces. The older man, took a deep sigh, disliking that another young soul is suffering as much. He vowed that he will try to help him get better. 

Upon their latest visitation, Jin's parents asked to speak to him privately. It was too early to give the right answers, so he had to explain as best he could.

-'' Seokjin is suffering, so he did the only thing he knew... he hid.'' - Dr Bhang spoke. -'' His mind wasn't ready for a tragedy that happened. That poor kid took us all by surprise...'' - He shook his head in sorrow and disbelief. -'' To end up like that, it's too sad...too sad. Seokjin lost his best friend and he has a difficult time facing it.

His parents nodded. Jin watched them from his hideout, eavesdropping on the meeting between his parents and Doctor Bhang. They were talking about him and Jin had to know. He heard a deep whisper in his right ear.

-'' I thought I was your best friend.'' – V purred, hiding with Jin. He was the one who showed Jin this secret place. The youngster was good at finding secrets at the psychiatric hospital. He's been here for a while now, pointedly ignoring the staff and the Doc, as he called him, no matter how much patience the old man had with him. He was unresponsive, doing whatever he liked at the moment. Jin never knew how and why V got here in the first place. He didn't really care though, but V knew everything about the place and was willing to follow Jin all the time, so Jin used his knowledge for his own use.

Ever since Tae died, Jin became cold and distant. His parents were worried about him, but he didn't care for them either anymore. He only missed Tae. He still couldn't forgive him for the thing he has done...leaving him behind. Jin wished he read the signs more clearly, so maybe...just maybe, Tae would be here in this madhouse, still alive, instead of him. 

Jin felt slight shuffling beside him and he hissed at V to shut up. V pouted, but calm down sufficiently enough. Jin sighed at the youngster's impatience. V didn't have friends, he didn't like anyone, but he took a strange liking to Jin and followed him everywhere. At first, Jin ran from him, but after a couple of months, he got used to his presence. He reminded Jin of Tae. There was a slight resemblance in V's face, but V's icy blue eyes were a huge contrast to Tae's warm brown ones.

Their personalities were so different and while Tae was sweet and mischievous, V was the Devil's cub itself. Jin would never be friends with him otherwise, but he missed Tae too much, so he allowed V to tag alone, only to look at his face from time to time.

-'' You are not my friend.'' – Jin said quietly, not removing his eyes from his parents. His mother was saying something now. Jin had to pay attention closer.

-'' Y-yes...they were together since Tae was three years old. They lived two houses from ours. Jinnie was six and he.... he was so protective over him.'' – Her voice was trembling slightly. His father's face was like stone.

-'' That's the bloody shame.''  – Dr Bhang spoke softly.

Jin heard V's annoyed voice again.

-'' Well... I don't know who curls up in my embrace when he's sleeping hmmm? And me, protectively hug you to save you from your nightmares.''  – V teased. – '' If that's not friendship, then I don't know what it is.'' – V huffed as Jin finally looked at him exasperatedly.

-'' Only because you sneak up to my bed every night because you are afraid to sleep alone.''

-'' That's not true...I am not afraid of anything, Jinnie. What do you think I did all those nights before you came here?''

-'' I don't know and I don't care. Use your honorifics you punk...I am your Hyung. You are not my friend. You are just someone who keeps bugging me most of the time. '' – Jin said sharply, but still quiet enough so they wouldn't be discovered. 

That wasn't entirely true and Jin knew that, but he was too annoyed sometimes to admit that he needed the youngster's company. Sure, the young boy was annoying at first, but his looks and strength drew Jin towards him naturally. He would never admit it though.

-'' I should be affronted, but strangely I'm not. '' - V says with a chuckle. -'' I like your honesty, though.''

Jin rolls his eyes. -'' Yay, lucky me.'' – He says sarcastically which causes V to smirk. Feeling that V was about to say something, Jin interrupted him. -'' I want to hear them, now hush.''

His eyes fell on his father again. His stern voice echoed around the Doctors' office.

-'' Doctor, what's wrong with our son? It's been five months. Why does he act so strangely? I understand that he is grieving, but this is disturbing.''

The Doctor sighed deeply.

-'' I believe that Jin, unable to face all of those horrors that had happened in his life, hid behind the happy memories he had. The loss of his best friend on which he blame himself, forced him to lock himself into a small loop in his memory...in the moments when he was happy and safe.''

-'' What do you mean he blames himself? ''– His mother asked. Both of his parents were confused and surprised at this news.

The Doctor cleared his throat and went on.

-'' Seokjin blames himself for what happened to Taehyung. He told me that Taehyung asked him to go with him that night and Seokjin keep repeating that none of this would have happened if only he went with him, or persuaded him to stay at home.''

-But Jinnie would never disobey the rules. – His mother spoke. – He knew he wasn't allowed outside after ten.

As his mother's voice was quiet, his father was angry.

-'' Taehyung was a little rebellious boy!'' – His voice boomed and Jin tensed in anger. -'' He kept dragging our son into mischief all the time.''

-'' Darling, don't say those things.'' - Jin's mother jumped in. -'' It was not Taehyung's fault. It was not his fault for what happened to him...of what they...those monsters did to him.'' 

She tried to calm him down, but his father shook his head. -'' I knew that he would get into big trouble one day. He was a huge target for trouble.'' - His father seemed angry. -'' He looked for the trouble and he finally found it! And he dragged my son crazy because of that! ''– His voice broke and he choked as he tried to stop the tears.

Jin gritted his teeth at that. An angry pout formed on his face and his gaze cut through his father's skull. 

His father continued with his tirade. -'' He w-was so restless... so young.'' - He fought his emotions. The men don't cry. He was failing miserably. -'' He always s-smiled...and he adored our s-son. 

Jin's father buried his face in his hands and cried.  It was the first time Jin saw him cry. It was a bit shocking. He should feel sorry for his father, but the truth was, he cared for no one anymore.

-'' You are so cute when you are pouting. – V purred, but then Jin grabbed him by the throat and pulled him near.

-'' Don't.'' – He hissed. – ''Whatever is on your crazy mind, an anecdote or sarcasm, keep it to yourself, because I don't want to know V.''  – V's eyes grew wide at that, but Jin's venomous voice kept going. -'' I don't care about you. You remind me of my best friend and that's why I allow you to tag along, but you are not him. You will never be him. You are just a negative broken boy who can't find a place in this cruel world. The boy hates everyone and everything because he is unable to love and to be loved....because he cannot protect the people he loves.''

V smiled wickedly at that. -'' Are you talking about me or about yourself, Jinnie?''

Jin falters, his eyes lost the fury in them and became sharp, studying V's cold blue ones, until Dr Bhang drew his attention again.

-'' You have to understand that a human mind is a complicated place, still undiscovered. We use only the smallest amount of our brain and a lot of minds' power and purposes are mysteries to us. Seokjin's core memory is like a huge room, full of doors. Each door represents one part of his life. Currently, he is hiding in one of those rooms. I presume the one from his childhood. That's why his behaviour is one of his younger self. During our sessions, I try to persuade him to unlock that door and let me in so that I could see what I'm up against and help him to face his fears when I lead him out.''

-'' Dr Bhang, can you bring back our son?'' – Jin's mother asked, dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief. Her husband's emotional outburst shook her visibly.

Dr Bhang looked at her carefully and signed.

-'' I don't know yet and that's the truth. He keeps his silence and zone out somewhere, barely speaking. It's hard for me to reach him, but I won't give up, I give you my word.''

-'' Well...'' - V's choked voice teased even in his dangerous position. Jin's eyes scanned his beautiful face. – '' If you want to get out from this nuthouse I suggest you start acting like you are getting better."

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More of the untangling past will reveal itself in the next chapters. Stay tuned and thank you for reading 💕