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Jin caught up with Jimin, just before he closed the door of Hoseok's apartment, pulling two huge suitcases with him.

-'' Jiminie...going already?'' - He asked surprised. He knew Jimin wanted to leave, but he didn't think he will be in such a hurry.

-'' Hyung!'' - Jimin exclaimed with a smile. -'' I was just about to call you. I'm heading to the airport, would you come with me?''

-'' Sure.'' - Jin nodded, looking at the suitcases. - '' Do you need help with that?''

Jimin grins and nods. - '' Thanks, Hyung.''

The ride in the car was quiet. Kyungsoo drove, his jaw clenched, he was angry, but he tried his best to look relaxed around Jimin. He is losing him once again and it's all thanks to Yoongi. He met Jin's eyes in the rearview mirror and they grew stern. Jin understood. They shared silent words before Kyungsoo's eyes return to the road.

Hoseok and Mingyu tried their best to sound cheerful, but Jin could see that Hoseok is trying too much. Hoseok was glued to Jimin in the backseat all the way to the airport, while Mingyu sat up front.

At the airport, Jimin gave his luggage and stood with his handbag and passport to say goodbye to his Hyungs.

-'' I am going to miss you, Hyungs!'' – He said, eyes slightly teary.

-'' Then don't go.'' – Kyungsoo said, smiling, but Jin saw the muscle of his jaw clenching hard. He was not happy. Jimin knew it too because he smiled gently at him.

-'' I'll come to visit.'' - He says.

-'' Just don't wait for another year to do so.'' – Mingyu added, raising his eyebrow to make a point. Jimin laughed softly.

-'' Oh, God, how I love you...you...you wonderful creature!'' – Hoseok screeched and pulled Jimin into a bone-crushing hug.

-'' Hyung!''  – Jimin giggled, but hugged him with the same strength. -'' I love you too.''

They separated and Jimin turned to the other three men.

-'' I love all of you and I'm so sorry, but...'' - He stopped, thinking how to say it properly. -'' I had to leave...please understand.'' - He said it eventually.

Kyungsoo enveloped Jimin in his arms. - ''We understand, Jiminie, don't worry about that. You just...find...what you are looking for.''

Jimin nodded through his tears, but he brushed them off as they separate. Mingyu opened his arms wide.

-'' Come here.'' 

Jimin throws himself in his arms, laughing and sniffing.

-'' Don't cry over my suit.''  – Mingyu warned mockingly, but Jimin just rubbed his tears-stained face on his shirt. - ''Aish, down you beast...down!''  - Mingyu squirmed and Hoseok and Jin laughed, together with Jimin. Even Kyungsoo's mouth spread into small smile.

-'' That way, Hyung, you will have me with you for a while now.'' – Jimin teased.

-' 'This...'' - Mingyu pinched his shirt with two fingers in mock disgust. - ''...goes straight to laundry basket as soon as I return home.'' – Mingyu said, but his serious act was completely destroyed when he giggled together with Jimin.

Lastly, Jimin turned towards Jin.

-'' Hyung...'' - Jimin started, tears blurry in his vision as he stumbled into Jin's arms. A few tiny sobs escapes Jimin's lips and his body shook. Jin held him tight, kissing his head.

-'' I am so sorry, Hyung.''– He heard him speak quietly and Jin placed both of his palms on Jimin's cheek to raise his head so he could look him in the eyes.

-'' You don't have to apologize for anything, Jiminie.''

-'' Yes, I do...I...I made this mess...'' - Jimin sniffled, slightly hiccuping.

-'' No.'' – Jin said sternly. – ''Shit happens...life happens Jiminie. It's not your fault...you have questions and you need answers... and you need to find them on your own. I know what it's like, so don't worry too much. Just look carefully so you won't miss it.''

-'' Thank you, Hyung.'' - Jimin smiled gently, holding onto Jin's jacket tightly. -'' Hyung, tell him...'' - He stopped, composing his thoughts, before continuing. – ''Tell him that I never meant to hurt him...tell him that I need time... that I... love him, just... I'm not entirely sure in which way exactly.''

Jin nodded. -'' I will.'' 

He then suddenly remembered the envelope Yoongi gave him. -'' Yah, Jiminah I almost forgot.'' – He pulled the improvised envelope from his pocket and hand it to Jimin. –'' It's from him. He asked me to give that to you. Please, Jimmie, read it, don't throw it away.''

Jimin took it like a precious gift. -'' I...I won't Hyung. I would never... ''- He stammers slightly.

Jin nods approvingly. -'' Good, he would be glad to know that.''

-'' Take care of him for me, will you?'' – Jimin's eyes were full of worry, sadness and love. Jin hated that he must leave, but he accepted that.

The boarding for his plane was announced. Jimin jumped, brushing his tears and quickly hugging them once again before dashing out towards passport control.

He waved them once more with a sad smile before he disappeared among the crowd.

The ride home was never so silent.

...

-'' I hate when people leave.'' –Hoseok said, looking at the empty apartment. Mingyu and Kyungsoo had some business in the club, so they dropped them at Hoseok's place. Even though Hoseok lived alone here, the few weeks he had spent with Jimin, made the emptiness of the place more noticeable.

-'' I know. I do too.'' – Jin agreed, sitting on the nice soft white rug and drinking mint tea. He leaned on the sofa and rested one of his elbows on the seat. Hoseok sat next to him, in a similar position, the corners of his lips dropping down.

-'' Did you know that my mother abandoned me?'' – Hoseok asked suddenly. Jin shook his head.

-'' No? I thought that Jimin or Yoongi might have told you, but I guess they didn't.'' - Hoseok gave a sad chuckle. -'' Yeah... she left me when I was five years old. I never knew my father, so she raised me all by herself. She wanted me to see where she grew up, so we came to Daegu. She told me that I have a cousin and aunt and uncle and that I will meet them that day. She took me to the park. It was my birthday and I wanted to be a cowboy and ride a horse on the carousel. So she fulfilled my wish, smiling. She was so beautiful when she smiled, I still remember her face...vaguely, but it's still there.'' - Hoseok was reminiscing with the gentlest of smiles, clicking his tongue. -'' I don't think I would ever forget. I don't remember her voice though...'' - He says regrettably. -''  I wish I was.''

-'' When the ride was over I ran to hug her and kiss her. She held me tight...much tighter than usual... I should have known that something was about to happen then, but I was too young.'' - He huffs a smile, swallowing the strong emotions that were choking him as he spoke. -'' She had tears in her eyes, but she smiled so brightly, so I didn't ask much. She told me that she loved me and that I'm her world. I was happy...as a child who adores his mother only would. She told me she has a surprise for me, but I must close my eyes and not peak, or else I would ruin it. I obeyed her instantly, shutting my eyes and covering them with my hands. I felt her lips on my hair as she kissed me and then a swirl of small wind and the trace of her perfume.'' - He gave a long sigh. -'' I'm so glad I still have those memories, even though they are sweetly painful ones.'' 

-'' I don't know for how long I stayed like that. I felt gentle hands on my shoulders and I thought, finally she returned, so I uncovered my eyes, but it wasn't her. Some women stood there, watching me worriedly. She asked me if I were here alone and I told her no. I was waiting for my mama, who went to bring me a surprise for my birthday.''

Jin felt his heart squeeze in a painful grip. He felt so sorry for little Hoseokie. He wanted to take him into his arms and never let go.

Not aware of these feelings his companion had, Hoseok continued with his story. -'' She asked if she could wait with me, but I told her no, my mother would not like that. So she left me alone, but I saw her sitting on the near side bench, pretending that she is observing the people around, but I knew now that she was looking out for me, waiting to see if anyone would come for me.''

-'' And did they?'' – Jin asked, eyes brimming with tears. He sniffed. – ''Did someone come for you?''

Hoseok nodded with a smile. - '' Yeah, my aunt. I didn't know who she was, I never meet her before. I saw only an old picture of her and my mom when they were young girls, but she had the same features my mother had, so I knew who she was. Plus my mother told me that I would meet my aunt and cousin soon, so... I thought it was just a surprising coincidence.'' - He admitted with a chuckle, the corners of his mouth turning downwards again and his face growing solemn. -'' It took me quite a while to accept that she was never coming back.'' - He said, his fingers playing with his ear. He did that often when he was nervous. 

- '' It turned out that she called my aunt when she left me, telling her to hurry up and pick me up because I was alone there. I hope she stayed long enough somewhere in the back and watched me like that unknown woman did until my aunt came. I wish to think she did.''

Jin swallowed the sob hard, trying to compose his emotions. This day was emotionally draining. First Yoongi, then Jimin and now Hoseok. Jin was just human after all.

-'' Did she call?'' - He asked, composing his voice so it wavered only slightly. -'' Do you know what happened to her?''

Hoseok nods. -'' My aunt told me that she moved to the States to work, trying to build us a better life because I didn't accept the fact that she left me. I still waited for her to come back. When I was fourteen, my aunt told me the truth.'' - He rubbed his jaw, eyes still unfocused somewhere in the middle of the room. - '' She was sick...'' - He spoke slowly. -'' The last stage of cancer. She was dying. Her sister and she often argued over the phone because of it. My aunt wanted us to be with her, to go with the therapy, but my mother knew it was too late. She didn't want me to witness her death, so she left me in my aunt's care, making sure she wasn't there, with me, when my aunt arrived to pick me up, so she wouldn't persuade her to change her decision. She wrote me a letter, explaining all to me. I never cried so much as I did then.''

Jin was openly crying now, tears flowing freely down his face. Why is this world so cruel, so harsh? Why does life, carry so much pain? It gives us hope and happiness in one moment, only to crush it all in the next. Jin was sick of it. His attention was claimed once more by Hoseok.

-'' I was lucky though. My aunt wasn't my mother, but I loved her just the same. My uncle replaced the hole that my father never filled and I had Mingyu, who became my best friend and my brother. Yoongi Hyung lived next door and he was two years older than me. I looked up to him more than I did my cousin. Kyungsoo Hyung came later on.'' – Hoseok chuckled darkly. –'' They never truly get along, Yoongi Hyung and he.''

-'' Oh, I noticed that.'' – Jin sniffled and smiled through tears. – '' I'm a mess.'' – He whined and Hoseok smiled brightly. He reached to the small table and dig through its drawers, to find some tissues.

-'' Here.'' - He gave him one, and Jin thanked him. -'' I am sorry Hyung.'' - Hoseok spoke after Jin blew his nose loudly. -'' I didn't mean to make you cry...only...'' - He smiled sadly, clicking his tongue. -'' Only to tell you the reason why I am so unhappy now.''

-'' I know you didn't plan this, don't worry about me.''  – Jin patted Hoseok's hand and brushed his eyes with his sleeve.

-'' Anyway, Jiminie went to the same dancing school I did.'' - Hoseok brightened as he continued with his story. -'' He was chubby but adorable. I loved his cheeks...they reminded me of Mochi.'' – He giggled at the memory. - ''But he was hard-working and possessed great talent. So I took him under my wing, and we became friends. Hyungs accepted him quickly...it was impossible not to. You know what Jimin is like.''

-'' Yeah...'' - Jin said knowingly. – '' I fell under his charm as soon as I lay my eyes on him.''

-'' Precisely.'' – Hoseok agreed. – '' Well everything was fine until Mingyu Hyung met Sana.'' - His voice turns hard. -'' Things changed after that. I believe you know the rest. I was so hurt when Yoongi Hyung left and took my Jiminie away with him. I felt that abandonment again, even though I knew the reason why the feeling...the feeling is not pleasant at all.''

-'' I know...I know the feeling all too well...'' - Jin said, gaze lost somewhere, remembering all the people who left him over the years... Tae...Hwan...Namjoon...his parentes...Kookie... Joy... there is so many of them. They all left him and Jin couldn't know why.

He felt Hoseok's arm around his shoulder and his head touching his. He was comforting him, silently. Jin closed his eyes for a moment, absorbing the moment and Hoseok's warmth. How could anyone be so strong to share their warmth and protection, when they themselves feel darkness enveloping them? Jin suddenly felt huge love towards him. He is a magnificent human being, strong and good and Jin admired him so much. He patted his hand and murmured to him.

-'' Thank you Hobah.'' – Jin didn't have to explain what was he thanking him, but Hoseok knew. Hoseok knew many things but didn't say anything. He just nodded and gave a little smile.

-'' Hey, Hyung, do you want to go to see Yoongi Hyung with me? I feel the need to see him.''

Jin nodded and then stood up, taking Hoseok's hand to help him onto his feet. They picked up their jackets and done their shoes, silently closing the apartment door behind them.

...

Yoongi stood in the middle of the room pondering. He already decided what to do, but he allowed himself the benefit of the doubt for a few seconds, just to be sure. He needed this...he needed the cleansing. He looked at all the pictures, notebooks and stuff he and Jiminie had shared together...discarded on the bed in a heap. Yoongi took one photograph that stood out the most and look at it carefully. It was Jimin and him before Japan, when they were both younger and cheerful, without any worry in the world. That day, when this picture was taken, Yoongi discovered his true feelings towards the young man. He was so confused at first, especially because he broke up with his high school girlfriend a month previous. But Jimin...Jimin always managed to make him feel special... loved.

Yoongi tried to engrave the lines of Jimin's face, his lips and beautiful eyes to his memory. He wanted to remember him always as he was...still happy with him. After a few moments, he threw it on the pile and bend down to reach a gas tank on the floor. He poured over the pile on the bed, over the table, and on the curtains, making sure that everything is soaked.

He took the lighter from his pocket and opened the lid. He flicked the flame and watched it dance before he gently reached and touched the heap with it, setting it on fire.

The fire erupted quickly, catching everything on her way. Soon Yoongi stood in the middle of the burning room, feeling the warmth and marvelling at the flames that were calling him into her embrace.

Yoongi smiled, feeling the weight from his soul lift and adrenaline kick in. He started laughing, feeling free and weightless. He laughed and coughed when dark smoke started to choke him. He coughed, chuckling, tears running from his eyes. He fell on the floor, feeling his throat burning and his body twitching.

Finally...I'll find peace. With the last thoughts on his mind, he fell into nothingness.

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You will murder me again, will you?  💕