≪ °❈° ≫

Jin's conscious fought to stay awake, but the dream, or better say nightmare pulled him deep into the abyss. He was tossing on the bed, the beads of sweat covered his entire face, and his hair and skin were damp as well. He was shaking in one moment and had a heatstroke in the next. It was torture. The room was spinning and he had no idea where he was anymore.

He felt nauseous. The flash of the image appeared in his head. It was calling him...the man under the veil.

-'' Jinnie...''

Jin knew it was V...V was calling him, pulling him towards the end. -'' I will wait for you at the end of things... ''

The calling was so strong, that Jin suddenly felt fine. He rose up on his feet, only to discover that he was on the street, with blinding bright lights of the car and a warning honk, before it drove fast and misses Jin by an inch.

Jin felt himself spinning, losing his ground and falling backwards into the darkness, but instead of falling on hard concrete, his back fell into ice-cold water.

The feeling was familiar. It happened before in Jin's mind...that evening when he jumped into the abyss. He thought that Tae drowned that night.

-"Swim up Hyung!" You can't save me, but you can save yourself. You have to let me go. Go! Up!"

Jin was drowning, he didn't want to leave Tae. At the same time, V ran up the stairs to reach Jin. V knew that Jin was in trouble, the could sense it. Jin could see everything through V's eyes right now. He had to hurry so he ran faster.

Jin tried to swim towards Tae, to save him...to save his innocence...his inner child. Tae was screaming for him to let go and save himself.

-"UP!!!!"

And Jin felt like drowning. He couldn't breathe. The truth was, he took drugs, a big dosage, hoping that he will simply overdose and the pain would finally be over. No matter how much he tried to live, Jin was failing. He felt pain in his chest, like a part of him, was missing. It hurts too much. He was in the bathtub when he felt sleepy, closing his eyes and sinking below the water.

Immediate bliss took over Jin and he felt like he was drifting. He was weightless, he felt nothing. He fell into a dreamless sleep, while his heartbeat grew slower and slower until it was so low it almost stopped.

At the same time, V burst into the room, breathless and ran to the bathroom, seeing Jin motionless under the water. He screamed.

-'' Jinnie!!!'' - He saw him underwater, and felt like he couldn't breathe himself. -'' Oh, for fuck sake!'' - He curses.

V's scream jerked Jin's consciousness and the adrenaline kicked in. Jin panicked as he inhaled water instead of air, starting coughing and tossing.

-'' Will you stop tossing you, moron! '' - V was there. He saved him again. The memory was so vivid in Jin's mind, carefully hidden in the back room of Jin's consciousness. The image of the bathroom disappeared and Jin found himself flying over to the light as a little butterfly. 

At first, he didn't know whether he was dead or alive, even though he remembered V's saving him that time. The feeling was amazing. He was so lightweight. He flapped his beautiful wings effortlessly as the bright light grew nearer and nearer, but at the same time, he was running through the yellow corridor towards the same light. Jin didn't know what he was anymore. The man or the butterfly, but the light was so inviting and Jin didn't care. He hurled towards it.

The door was at his arm's reach and he finally ran through into a blazing light. He was welcomed by a gorgeous sunset light. Orange and yellow colours gave Jin comfort and safety and he felt at peace.

He walked around, admiring everything, feeling joyful and content. Jin never wanted to leave this place. He was deep into his consciousness, finding his Zen place that so many people strive to achieve through meditation, to find their chi...Their inner Zen garden. Jin now knew why Monks often visit it, meditating for hours and days even. They were in their inner garden, finding their mental peace, the core of their being. Jin knew now, he understood.

He saw a woman dressed in red, standing under a tree. He went to her, taking his time to enjoy nature. The woman heard him and turned slightly. Jin stopped momentarily, seeing that it wasn't a woman, but in fact a man with raven long hair and a beard. He was manly but so handsome, lean and tall, but strong. He had small butterflies on his long red scarf. Jin felt calmness and wisdom emanating from the man and Jin felt so small next to him.

The man removed the scarf with one swift move, making the butterflies fly at the same time in different directions. It was wonderful. The man suddenly spoke, his voice calm and deep, but very pleasant.

-'' The illusion exists only in the never-ending dream, the spell only broken by the acceptance of the truth.''

Jin blinked. –''  What illusions? What spell?'' 

-'' Your life, Seokjin. You must accept the truth...you must accept yourself...all of you.''

Jin thought of V.  As he read his mind, the man spoke.

-'' All of you.'' – He pointed towards the gate of the garden, where the tall tower loomed above the red trees. Jin turned to look at it.

He heard the calling again. He heard his other half calling him, pining for him desperately. He took a step forward when he stopped and turn his head back to look at the tall man.

-'' Who are you?'' – Jin asked. He was not afraid, he was simply curious.

-'' I'm the Process of Change...''  - The man spoke in the same calm wise voice. -'' The Collector of memories, the guide...the Butterfly...I come...I change...and I leave.''

-'' When will you leave?''

-'' When you accept yourself for who you are...all...you are.''

The man said and Jin nodded. He heard the calling again and he moved towards it. He reached the tower and looked up, it was tall and stern. Jin started to climb the stairs. He lost count of how many he climbed. He didn't feel tired at all. He just went up and up until he reached the top and saw the small door. The door suddenly opened and Jin saw V sitting at the edge of a small balcony. He smiled at him and jumped.

-'' V no!!!!'' – Jin ran to the balcony door and looked down. The branches softened V's fall, but he still lay on the ground in pain.

-'' V!!!''

Jin turned and ran down the stairs, nearly losing his ground and tumbling down, but he regain his balance and skipped every third step so he could reach V quickly. When he was finally on the ground floor, he rushed outside, around the tower, only to find V panting in pain, on his hands and knees, trying to stand up.

________________________________________

Thank you for being here...thank you for reading... I purple you 💕