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Two weeks passed quickly. The trip to Japan with Jimin was great since the two had a lot of fun together. They spend their free time sightseeing, taking pictures and eating in their favourite sushi restaurant almost every day. At night they will cuddle in their hotel room watching their favourite TV shows or talking. Jimin would often talk about Yoongi, confiding in Jin all of the fears and worries he have about his and Yoongi's relationship. It was still so new to him, but so familiar at the same time. He loves Yoongi and he knows that now... he just doesn't know yet how to tell that information to his parents.

-'' When the proper moment arises you will tell them...don't worry.'' – Jin said.

-'' But what if they hate me afterwards?'' – Jimin asked quietly. – '' What if they don't accept Yoongi? What if they start looking at me differently like I'm a different person right now? I am not different. I don't feel like I changed much. I still feel like I'm the same Jimin, I just know better now. I feel better. I'm happy and relieved somehow.

Jin thought for a while in silence but spoke when Jimin raised his eyes to look at him.

-'' Just because you expanded your love doesn't mean that you are a different person than you were before. You are more knowledgeable, yes...but different, no. I think your parents will understand you. They love you too much to hate you. They might be surprised, maybe disappointed a bit, considering the circle your family is in, but I believe they would come to terms in time.''

-'' But..'' - Jimin stammers. -'' Your parents, Hyung...''

-'' I shocked my parents in the most uncomfortable and embarrassing way, Jiminie...something that you will never do...I've told you what I did.'' - Jimin nods at that, and Jin went on. -''  I still couldn't believe what I did. I was so embarrassed when I remembered, but I was so hurt, and so unhappy back then. You would never do things as I did, so you should be okay.

-'' That guy, Namjoon, really meant a lot to you didn't he?'' – Jimin asked.

'' -Well...he was certainly the only one that I felt the most comfortable being myself with. We did click instantly and we both had our fair share of darkness between us. He was the one I could lean on, trust, and talk to. After I lost my best friend in the worst possible way, he was the first one who gained my trust and I fell in love. Namjoon was beautiful, smart, a bit awkward, just like me and very talented. Too bad his talents were going to waste, because he is one of the most talented non-musicians I have ever met, before Yoongi.''

-'' Really?''

-'' Mhm, oh yes... '' - Jin nods. -'' Namjoon could write about everything and it was always deep and meaningful. Even when he joked around, it had depth. It's shame that no one will see that.''

-'' Why?''

-'' His homophobic uncle left a lot of damage on him. He made him work after school, in the evenings, sometimes till late, at the club, always surrounded by bad people. He was the youngest, so they all bullied him, especially his uncle. They didn't harm him physically as much as emotionally. He dropped out of school, entered the bad company, got arrested for causing trouble...''

Jin took a deep breath, looking nowhere in particular, while Jimin listened, cuddled between the blankets and listening quietly without interruption.

-'' Namjoon had so much potential to be the greatest. The top student, Captain of the basketball team, Class President, the Leader of the Debate, oh yes, he was really smart and capable. I remembered him in high school. I never met him then, but I knew of him. Everyone did. He was truly amazing.''

-'' What happened to him? Why did he fail that much?''

-'' His parents died, in a car crash. I didn't know the truth myself, until recently. My friend told me about it, but I connected the rest of the dots later. Jiminie, do you remember me telling you that my childhood friend died in an accident?''

Jimin nodded. Jin licked his dry lips to moisturize them before continuing, gulping in the process.

-'' Well the truth is he killed himself.''

He heard Jimin gasp, mouth open, eyes wide, but he was silent, waiting for Jin to continue.

-'' He was hurt badly and it was my fault.'' – Jin's voice began to waver and his eyes filled with tears.

-'' He was hurt by some very bad people and he couldn't deal with the pain anymore, so he....he...oh fuck... '' - He stops to swallow the lump in his throat. -'' He jumped from the bridge on the highway...right...right on the c-car that...Namjoon's parents were driving.''

-'' Oh, fuck, no!'' – Jimin shrieked, covering his mouth with his small hands. Jin was crying now, tears falling down. Jimin hurried to join him on the bed so he can comfort him.

-'' All three died and Namjoon...Namjoon went to live with his uncle. That's was a truly weird coincidence... the true irony of life.'' – Jin sniffled loudly, brushing at his tears, while Jimin reached to catch his hand.

-'' He once told me that he wished he died with his parents. He was such a tormented soul. That's why I fell for him so hard. I was already changed, and I already discovered a few things about myself, but Namjoon, who was constantly bullied by his uncle, was degraded and slapped whenever he hesitated to do something that he was told, and he was lost. Truly utterly lost. I hated that man. I never met him, but I hated him. What's worst, Namjoon just kept his silence and worked as he was told, hating every moment of it.''

-'' But why? Why did he leave?'' – Jimin asked, brushing his cheek as the tears started falling too. The way Jin had told his story, made Jimin's heart bleed.

-'' I think he lost faith in everything.'' - Jin says sadly. -'' He just didn't have the strength to fight anymore. He also felt fear...he was like a dog that was beaten too many times and now has trust issues when someone reaches to pat him. That's what Namjoon was then...pretending to be a vicious dog, but with the heart of a puppy. God, I wanted to slap him myself so he would wake up and growl to defend himself and snuggle him with all love I have, protecting him from any harm.'' 

-'' Why didn't you?! Why didn't you take him with you? Away from his uncle?!'' - Jimin wanted to know.

-'' I was in a bad mess myself. I hoped that things would get better with Namjoon, but I was wrong. He was too afraid to allow himself to be loved and protected. He blamed life for everything that happened, while I... I blamed myself.''

-'' Hyung, you told me that it was your fault that your friend was...was hurt...what did you mean by it? How is that your fault?''

Jin covered his eyes to suppress the sob. After he composed himself enough, he spoke quietly.

-'' He asked me to go with him that night...to the party.'' – He added when seeing that Jimin burrowed his brows in confusion. – '' Tae really wanted to go to that party and begged me to go with him. It was his first party and he was so excited, he was fourteen.''

Jin sighed loudly. – '' And I said no... I refused to go and I was too sleepy to entertain him well enough so he would forget about it. Instead, I made some promises for tomorrow and send him home to bed. But he went anyway and then...'' - Jin scrunched his face in a cry and buried his face in his arms, sobbing. 

Jimin hugged him, saying hurriedly. -'' No Hyung...no...it is not your fault, damn it...it is not... he went there by himself...no Hyung...''  He was trying to comfort him as much as he could, crying with him.

-'' If I j-just went... with him Jiminie....n-none of t-this would have h-happen...'' - Jin cried.

-'' Don't say things like that! It is not your fault Hyung... it's...''

-'' I am b-beating myself s-so... much because of....t-that... He would be a-alive J-Jiminie...if...if...I wasn't s-so... so selfish and l-look only...m-myself...''

It took Jimin some time until he calmed him enough so they could talk again. He let Jin cry his heart out and Jin felt that this was the first time that he cried so much in front of Jimin. Strangely, he didn't mind at all.

Jimin was like a medicine...a happy pill...you feel relieved whenever you are near him and Jin was very grateful.

-'' Jinnie Hyung, not many people could survive through things you did and still be this positive and cheerful. It must be dreadful. I have a taste of nearly losing someone so dearest to me and I nearly lost myself, but you...you did and I can't imagine of how you felt. And then your parents...the love... all of it...It is terrible Hyung. I had no idea how much you suffered and how much you've been through until now.'' - Jimin said astonished, sniffling loudly. -'' How do you live?''

That brought a chuckle from Jin, who smiled softly at the younger man. 

Jimin was still on fire. -'' How do you stay positive and smiling like you are now? I wanted to die when all of that happen with Yoongi. I didn't want to exist anymore, even less smile and listen to people. How Hyung? If anyone told me the story of your past you just told me, I would not believe it was yours. You are so precious Hyung, you still hold on to that inner child, even though I've seen you as a grown many times before. You always surprise me with your childish nature and yet sometimes when you speak, it's like you are 100 years old. I admire you. I am so glad that I met you Hyung, truly am.''

Jin felt his ears go hot. –'' Aish, Jiminie...stop it... you make me blush...'' - He chuckles. – ''How do I do it? How anyone is doing it... you have to...if you want to survive you had to fight...that's the whole truth. I've learned a hard way, filled with mistakes. Maybe everything would be different if I just sat and talk with myself instead of running through the brick wall with my head.''

-'' Have you...'' -Jimin paused, unsure if he should ask or not. Jin nudged him to continue. – '' Have you ever seen him again? Namjoon.''

Jin shook his head. – '' No...not after that day...''

-'' Have you ever loved anyone after him?'' – Jimin probed, his curiosity taking the better of him.

-'' I think I did...maybe...I'm not sure...''

-'' How come?''

-'' I thought I did love Jisung and Joy...maybe I did, or maybe it was just the situation we were in. They accepted me when my parents left me, so I lived with them and Jungkook for some time. Maybe I did love them in the way...but nothing compared to how I felt towards Namjoon.''

-'' Yeah, but you were intimate with Namjoon. Jisung, is it? Jisung and Joy and Jungguk were your friends, right?''

Jin laughed. – '' Jungkook and yes...He was like my baby brother, I loved him as you love sweet bunnies and younger brothers. He was the feisty one. But Jisung and Joy...they were my... umm...'' - Jin stops to think it through quickly. In the end, he says. -'' They were my everything, I guess. My family, my friends, my parents, my lovers, my roommates...everything.''

Jimin widens his eyes. -'' Lovers? Both of them or?''

-'' Both.''

-'' Did they know about...?''- Jimin asks dumbfoundedly.

-'' At the same time, Jiminie.'' - Jin answers through smile.

Jimin leans back to look at Jin properly. -'' S-Same time...? Oh my God, Hyung...''

Jin barked a laugh at his expression.

Jimin was in awe. -'' Jesus Hyung, you truly amaze me...'' - He says astonished. -'' I don't think I will ever know the true extent of your brain.''

-'' Oh, trust me, Jiminie, you don't want that... I never knew the true extent of my brain myself.''

-'' What about Mingyu Hyung?'' – Jimin wanted to know.

-'' What about Mingyu?''

-'' Do you care for him?''

Jin shrugs his shoulders. -'' We hang out... yes...he is a pretty decent guy.''

-'' Oh, don't do that Hyung...'' -Jimin frowns. -''  I know that Mingyu Hyung and you have been... playing... in Hyung's bedroom a number of times.''

Jin eyed him for a while and then chuckled, shaking his head. -'' Kyungsoo indeed has a big mouth.''

Jimin scoffs. - Hyung only told me, because he can't resist my big puppy look.'' – Jimin put his best, the softest, the most puppy expression Jin had ever seen.''

He feigns shock. -'' Jesus... how come he is still breathing?'' - He asks dramatically. -'' I would have thought he died from cuteness by now.''

Jimin laughed. -'' Hyung is from the sterner stuff, he can take it.''

Jin clicks his tongue. -'' But not keep his mouth shut, apparently. I told Mingyu not to tell anyone.''

-'' Oh, Hyung how could you expect him not to do so...especially when Kyungsoo's eyes monitor everything and Hyung is head over heels in love with you. Of course, Kyungsoo Hyung will know, he is his best friend.''

-'' That doesn't mean that he has to say to everyone... '' - Jin muttered.

-'' Why is that such a bad thing Hyung? You look really, really good together. I never saw Mingyu more animated and smiling before. You make him happy.''

-'' Well...I don't think I'm in Mingyu's good graces anymore, Jiminie.''

Jimin's brow furrowed. -'' What do you mean Hyung? He adores you!''

-'' Well, he might have caught me talking with some guy after he forbade me not to.'' – Jin said with a raised eyebrow. 

Jimin widens his eyes in surprise. -'' Mingyu Hyung never demands anything from his friends. Are you sure Hyung?''

-'' Positively.'' – Jin answered.

-'' Well, I thought that you have free engagement... Why would he be mad? Who was the guy?''

-'' Oh well, I met him in Mingyu's club. He approached, we met...we clicked and started hanging out. He owns several casinos, but when Mingyu found out he forbid me from seeing him again. He... forbade...me!'' – Jin emphasized each word. – '' And when I did go out with him anyway, Mingyu found out and we had a huge fight. We are not on speaking terms anymore. He doesn't have to be jealous of Andreas. We were just hanging out, as friends that's all.'' 

Jimin jerks at this. -'' Wait, Andreas?'' - He asks with his eyebrows raised high. -'' The tall handsome, worth a billion, Andreas guy?'' - Jin nodded and Jimin exclaimed. - '' Damn it Hyung, he is like Mingyu's oldest enemy... and by that, I mean that they hated each other since they were teenagers. Their fathers did business together way back and it's now passed on to their sons who can't stand one another, but they keep it civil for business' sake.''

-'' Really? I had no idea. You see, he could have simply told me the facts, instead of demanding to stop seeing him. I hate being told what should or should not do. And he has no rights.''

-'' I know, but Mingyu Hyung always loses his temper when he sees him.''

-'' He didn't need to take it on me. '' – Jin said indignantly.

-'' Hyung, Andreas is a very good friend of that rich bastard who took Hyung's songs and steal Mingyu's Hyung fiancé.''

-'' What?'' - Jin didn't know that information. It was new to him.

-'' Mhm...'' - Jimin nods quickly. -'' He's not a good man, Hyung. That's why Mingyu Hyung hates him and that's why he must have reacted that harshly on you, because he saw you, the man he had a serious crush on, in the company of one of the man that he despise the most.'' 

Jimin ran his hand through his hair. -'' He certainly thought that you liked Andreas and Andreas is a man who gets what he wants each time. I think Hyung was afraid more of losing you than he was angry, so it made him say or react in a way he shouldn't. I know my Hyung, he would never talk that way with you if not heavily provoked.'' - Jimin says reassuringly. -'' The anger must have spoken instead of his sanity. And Andreas is truly an asshole.''

-'' Well that's a shame.'' – Jin sighed. - '' He is very hot.'' – Jin remembered Andreas's features and bearings and he liked what he saw.

-'' All the more reason why he reacted that way. It's not the first time that he took what's Mingyu's. When he sees Mingyu taking interest in something or someone, he will steal it for himself. Hyung please don't tell me that you like Andreas more than Hyung.''

-'' No! I don't want Andreas like that.'' – Jin said. – '' I would never pick him over Mingyu.''

-'' Does Hyung know that?''

-'' N-no...''

-'' I think he should.''

-'' Why? It would only give him false hope.'' – Jin hurried to add after seeing Jimin's face. – '' I don't love him, Jimin. I have fun with him, he is a good friend, but I'm not for a relationship.''

-'' Are you still hanging on because Namjoon guy?''

-'' No...Namjoon is past.''

-'' Is it your flatmate then?''

-'' Who? V? God no... we would kill each other before we could be with each other.''

-'' I don't know, Hyung, whenever you speak of him it's with such energy. You always give short answers when you talk about him. It's more of a mentioning him, but I can see that you care for him a lot. You certainly care what he says and do.'' - Jimin says matter-of-factly.

Jin scoffs. -'' I do not have feelings for V. ''– He says, questioning his answer as soon as it came from his mouth. The truth was that he loved and hated him at the same time. He wanted his company and wanted to run away from him. He was afraid to be touched by him, but he craved his touch nevertheless. He had such mixed feelings towards him, opposite ones. It's always one way or another, never the middle.

-'' Sure, Hyung...'' - Jimin says with an arched eyebrow as he stood to go back to his bed. -'' Mingyu Hyung is a great man and he doesn't deserve this. Go talk to him...fix this before it's too late.''

-'' We shall see...'' - Jin brush it off gently. He grew tired of this topic, so he rubs his face and settles into a lying position, ready to get some sleep. He could hear Jimin nesting in his own bed. -'' It's getting late.'' - Jin yawns. -'' We should get some sleep. Good night, Jiminie.''

-'' Fix it, Hyung...'' - Came Jimin's voice.

-'' Fine, Jiminie...'' - Jin sighs exhasparatedly. - '' Go to sleep.''

-'' Promise me.''

-'' Damn it, Jiminie...fine, fine I promise...good night.''

-'' Good night, Hyung.''

After a few seconds, Jin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, calming his body. All of a sudden, Jimin added sleepily.

-'' I hold you to it...just... ''- He yawned. – ''...so you know...''

Jin opens his eyes and groans. -'' I will strangle you!''

-'' Kinky Hyung...I'm not sure Yoongi Hyung will like that... you see...he likes to do the choking himself.''

-'' Jesus, Jimin, go to sleep...''

-'' You know...if I moan in my sleep it's your fault really...for giving me the idea...I must...call Yoongi Hyung and suggest that to him...'' - Jimin's voice grew drowsy.

Jin huffs annoyingly. - ''Jimin, I will slap you bloody!''

-'' Uh, another kink...you are good, Hyung, I never knew you knew so many kinks...''

-'' Jiminah!'' – Jin warned.

-'' Save that authority for Mingyu Hyung...'' - Jimni snorted, but then an idea came to his twisted little mind. -'' Hey Hyung...do you wanna bet?''

-'' No...'' - Jin groaned...he wanted to go to sleep now, but Jimin continued as he was saying yes instead.

-'' I bet in 50.000 won that Mingyu would love to call you his Daddy.''

-'' That's it!'' – Jin jumped from his bed and went to fulfil his threat and strangle Jimin.

...

The photoshoot was successful and Jin soon said goodbye to Jimin, whom he did not strangle that night. They wrestled a bit, tickled, laughed and then fell asleep cuddled next to one another. Jin wished for Jimin to go with him to Paris, but Jimin needed to go home, so they said goodbye with hugs and went separate ways at the airport.

Everything was quite different in Paris. The cultural shock was obvious, but Jin had fun nevertheless. The work was good and Jin was satisfied with everything. He was intrigued by French cuisine and he especially loved various wines and cheeses. He was there for a month, promoting a new perfume. He had difficulties with the French language, knowing that he will never learn it, so he didn't try, but he soon find out that he didn't need more languages as everyone understood the language of lust. Yes, Jin had fun, lots of fun.

Jin gained popularity overnight in Paris fashion circles and he soon could see his face adorning many highly fashionable stores, walking on a few fashion shows, as well as doing tons of photo shoots for Givenchy.

He frequently talked with Yoongi and Jimin, as well as Hoseok and Mei. He didn't hear from V in a while, but he knew that he was fine somewhere. He felt it was so.

What he didn't expect that he would miss, was Mingyu so much. He actually misses their teases and laughs, Mingyu's perfect body and his touches. He misses a lot of things and was confused about why. He made the mental reminder to see Mingyu as soon as he returns and figure out what was that he felt.

...

On his way back home, flying over the ocean, Jin killed boredom by sorting his new photographs and sharing them on social media. He needed to stay active. Followers were always a tricky bunch. One moment you can have several thousands of them and on the next two hundred. The answer is activity. If you feed people with information, pictures, and venues, they will be entertained and satisfied. If not...well...you lose. And for the modelling world, that was, unfortunately, a necessity.

Even though he said he was beyond vanity, Jin loved the popularity he had. Being one of the top-paid young male models is something. He was wanted worldwide and that gave him a sense of pride and dignity. Life of the party, expensive clothes, drinks, drugs, sex, he has anything offered and he has only to reach his hand to grab it. He had a sense for making good deals for himself. His manager, Key was nearly there for formalities and boring details, but for the money and job itself, Jin was sufficient enough to strike a perfect bargain himself. V has thought him well.

His thoughts went towards V again. He didn't see him or heard of him in a month or so. Jin was conflicted with his feelings towards him since he wanted to confront him for lying and to see him because he missed him, but V was nowhere to be found. Perhaps he didn't want to be found yet. V loved to keep him waiting, but Jin knew that he would be there if Jin truly needed him. He always came and he refused to leave.

You are mine Jinnie... you always were...no one can mark you but me...only me.

The sudden thought came back to his head. One of the last words V told him before he left. He called him his...he announced the claim, but he never claimed him. Jin didn't know what was he waiting for, or why was he stopping himself. He clearly wanted him, maybe even more than physically. It was more that he wanted Jin's entire being, his soul, like the demon he is. With those thoughts, Jin fell asleep.

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Ah, I'm I boring you by opening old wounds? This chapter is rather calm, but  I promise to confuse you a bit in the next one. I hope you will like it! 💖