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The first thing Jin did was head straight home. He needed a shower and clean clothes and most of all...he needed V. The confusion was replaced by fury by the time he reached home. V knew about this and he didn't tell him. Jin knew that V is hiding too many things, but this was too much. Jin felt like screaming from the amount of bad stuff happening in his past. He asked himself what he did to deserve this punishment. Why was he so unlucky? Driven by his urges and emotions, he hurled from one situation to another without thinking. But even so, why did he have to suffer so much? Other people made mistakes as well, but yet they have good moments together with bad ones. Jin felt that whenever he tastes happiness, it was violently snatched from him. Whenever he dared to love someone, that person was hurt. He knew that his every laughter...every joyful moment would be charged ten times worst with unhappiness. Jin didn't know why. He didn't know why he was so unlucky...so doomed in this life...Every since Tae died, his life became Hell itself.

The dark pit in his mind started to creep out again and he was afraid of that blackness. And every time he was in it, V was there, affecting him in the worst way, making him become the person he is not. Making him do things he didn't want to do...he would never do... and yet he always did, all because of V. 

Why did he allow that lunatic to come near him in that hospital? Why didn't he send him to Hell from the beginning? He never liked him...V was always a force of uncomfortable energy that caused every hair on Jin's body to stand upright. Did he help him to escape that madhouse? Did he follow him out? V was always a convincing actor. He could have easily manipulated the doctor and the staff to discharge him for feeling better and better. V just waited to find someone to latch himself onto for fun, because he had no one to care for him...no one to love him. And how could anyone love him, he was insane... brilliant and genius, but crazy and dangerous. And Jin let him too close...

He wrapped his head many times, trying to remember more about V, but he got nothing. It was mortifying how unpredictable his mind was...of how it attacked him suddenly, leaving Jin breathless, body shaking, slick with cold sweat and dizziness. Jin hated those memory seizures...he still couldn't wrap his mind around how and when he lost them...what was the breaking point that caused a huge part of his life to be erased. He needed answers and V is going to give them to him.

He entered the apartment with a resolution to get to the bottom of this, only to feel sudden weakness and discouragement as soon as he laid his eyes on V. He found him sitting in the living room on his laptop, working on something as always. Jin shut the door violently behind him, causing V to raise his eyes from his work to look disapprovingly at Jin.

-'' Why didn't you tell me V!?'' – Jin started harshly. It's better to attack right away and not give the opposite side opportunity to work on the defence. -'' Why didn't you tell me that I tried to kill myself after Hwan left me?!? Why didn't you tell me that I cut my wrists!? You were there V and you told me that you weren't there at the time! You lied! Why V?! Why!!!?''

V's blank expression was eerie. He didn't show any sign of discomfort or that this affected him in any way. Cold motherfucker. Jin thought angrily.

-'' God damn it!!! Answer me!! How could you hide this from me?!?''  - Jin roared and lunged at V, but V's ice-cold eyes stopped him right on his track. His legs were rooted to the ground instantly and he couldn't move...he dared not to.

V just sat there, almost like a statue. The energy emanating from him was extremely dangerous and the slight circles on the table with his long slender fingertips were the only indicator of the cold rage he must have felt deep inside. V always hated Jin's emotional outbursts. His cold façade was shimmering, ready to come off any minute and Jin had to use all of his strength not to run away from him. The sheep...he was the bloody sheep and he just enraged the wolf. Jin felt so small at that moment. He needed to get a grip on his fear and yet he has no idea why he was so scared.

Holding on to what was left of his pride, Jin turned and started fast walking around the room, fuming, still shaken after the memory strongly embroidered, bright as day in his mind. He could feel the blood dripping from his wrists and the emotional pain he was in at that time. He managed to compose himself efficiently enough to stop screaming, trying to catch his breath.

-'' Why did I feel the need to escape from you V??! Why!?'' – He asked, not daring to look V in the eyes for fear that he would lose his weakly collected resolve to get some answers.

-'' Because you were a bloody fool, Jinnie.'' - V's voice was pure silk, low and purring. Jin's head turned sharply to stare at him, feeling weaker and weaker with every passing moment.

Gorgeous. The thought simply drop into his mind. Why does he thinking about V's beauty now? He remembered the wild and passionate kiss V gave him back on that roof before he slit his wrists. His body reacted momentarily.

-'' Fuck...'' - Jin said through his gritted teeth, lowering his head and cursing his body for heating up at the most inopportune moment. He stomped around the room, running his hands through his hair, hissing.

He turned towards V again, steadying his voice so he could speak normally. -'' You kissed me...why?'' – He asked.

When V didn't answer, he continued. 

-'' That night on the roof, you kissed m-me...deeply... did we...were...were we together V? Back then, were we together?'' – Why did he stutter that much? Why was he so nervous? Get a grip Jin, his mind was screaming at him.

V rose from his chair and walk towards him, his blank expression, made Jin scream inside because he never knew what V was thinking.

V reached and brushed gently at Jin's jaw with his thumb, looking at Jin's lips and licking his own, before his eyes buried deep into Jin's. Jin's breath hitched in his throat and he didn't dare to move a muscle. V was so close. He felt his breath on his skin. The electricity between them was crackling and Jin felt his chest heaving, but he didn't break eye contact.

-'' You were always running away from me, Jinnie.''  – V said, suddenly taking in a deep breath of Jin's scent. He throw his head back and closed his eyes, holding Jin's smell in his lungs for the briefest of moments, before letting it out loudly, purring deeply. V's raspy voice never failed to give Jin a painful hard-on.

-'' Aaaaah Jinnie... you smell of sex.''

Jin froze as V came closer, yanking him by the hair and burying his nose in Jin's neck, inhaling the smell of Mingyu's and Jin's combined sweat and perfume. V growled ripping open Jin's shirt in one swift movement, discovering bite marks on Jin's torso and his stomach. Jin was petrified. He had no idea why he felt fear, but V was furious.

-'' Who marked you Jin?! ''- He growled menacingly.

-'' N-no...none of your concern.'' - Came a weak and shaky answer. Well done, Jin. He thinks sarcastically.

The grip on Jin's hair tightened. Jin heard a low snarling sound down V's throat. Jin was shaking. V never looked more dangerous than now.

-'' No one is allowed to mark you but me, Jinnie.'' - He reached with his other hand to grab Jin's throat. He squeezed, leaving Jin without breath instantly. Jin choked, reaching up with his hands to grab V's, but V was too strong. -'' You will never allow that spoiled rich brat to mark you again, darling.'' – He said dangerously low and calm, but Jin knew he was burning with anger inside. He knew V's temper too well.

-'' I don't care who you fuck, as long as they don't try to take what's mine!'' - The last part was said in such a deep dominating bariton that vibrated deep into Jin's chest. -'' Do you understand me?'' – He asked menacingly. 

Jin wanted to say that he isn't his and has no right to demand that but was too busy choking for breath. V tightened his grip even harder and Jin felt his eyes roll in the back of his head, but he nodded as much as he could. 

V released him instantly. Jin was gasping for air, choking as he massaged his throat, his eyes filled with panic tears.

-'' You are mine, Jinnie.'' - V says in his cold calm voice. -'' You always were. No one can mark you but me...only me.'' - He said, watching Jin's struggles.

Jin wanted to cry. He wanted to escape. And with that, he came to the realization. -'' Now I know why I tried to run away from you.'' - He glared at him, his voice hoarse from pressure. – '' You are fucking monster, V! You are insane!''

V let a sinister laugh. -'' And yet you love me.'' - He smiles so wickedly that his pointy teeth flashed for a second, making him look unreal. He took a step forward. -'' You always did, Jinnie...it's stronger than you.'' - He took another step and Jin pulled back. -'' You could never resist me. '' - V kept talking and getting closer. Jin took another step back until his back hit the wall behind him. He looked left and right and realized that he was in the corner.

-'' No matter how hard you tried.'' - V continued, approaching closer. Jin's heart wanted to explode. -'' No matter how many times you try to run away from me I will always find you and you will always come back into my arms.'' - They were facing each other closely now. Jin was trembling like prey, while V stood proud and tall. -'' You could never escape me, Jin. I will find you everywhere.''

-'' Why don't you leave me alone!?'' – Jin let out a small sob, sliding down to the floor. His throat hurt and his powerlessness were overwhelming. 

V's eyes grew gentler. -'' How can I?'' – He asked and looked over Jin's exposed body. – '' You are too...ah...irresistible, Jinnie.''

Jin didn't know what caused him to cry, but he curled on his side, hugging his knees and started sobbing, feeling more and more miserable by a second. What's worse he didn't get any answers. V was still there, watching him pitifully, and yet, Jin had no strength to demand, to ask, or to beg for the answers he so desperately needed.

V walked to the table, shutting his laptop calmly and picking it up in his arm, he walked pass Jin, pausing only to tell him that he would be gone on a business trip for a few weeks.

-'' Don't make trouble, Jinnie... behave.'' - And with that, he left, leaving Jin alone to stare at nothingness, wondering where and how he completely lost the strings of his own life.

...

"You were always so easy to manipulate dear one."

"Just ignore them Jinnie. Don't pay attention to them."

"Hi, I'm Namjoon. Can I join you?"

"No, V...t-turn back...Turn back... Kookie is there. He needs help!"

"Do you take your medications still?"

"Can you tell me why you decided to take your own life, Seokjin?"    

"That better be homework you're doing Kim Taehyung and not the comic book that I think it is! The same goes for you, Jinnie! I'm watching you!"

...

Jin awoke on the floor, shivering after another memory seizure. Few new images were uncovered in his memory core. Few more that he had access to. No matter how much Jin hated the mental rape, deep down he was grateful that the new things started showing up. He felt exhausted after every image. The emotions, fears and sadness he felt were too powerful and strong and he could barely hold up. He wanted to throw up, but he kept his breathing shallow and rapid for a while, until the urge to empty his stomach didn't pass.

Jin hated the dark memories he collected. He cringed at Jungkook's body lying motionless on the pavement. V was there with him that night....he was driving... Jin was screaming at V to go back and help Kookie and he refused. V lied...he lied that he wasn't there... he told him that Jin imagine that, but it's not true.

What else did he lie about? And Tae, his sweet Tae...he felt like someone was squishing his heart every time he remembered him. Jin hated the overwhelming feelings he had. The pain, the fear, the anxiety...but there, so small, so short, there was a memory. For the very first time, there was one small memory that made Jin happy. He had forgotten all about it, but now it's in his control again and it involved Mei Noona. His Noona...he needed to see her. He needed her to make him remember the happy moments. Jin needed to smile again. He needed to survive...

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I purple you  💕