The Tables Have Turned

Chapter 36

Oh daddy, why did you do that?

I never blamed him for their death because I knew my dad and I knew that he did that for me and my mom.

He didn’t want us to worry about the money. He took that risk to keep our lives going but I swear if I knew what was going on, I would’ve gotten a job and helped him support our little family. I would’ve cut back on all the shopping and outings. I would’ve done something.

I partially blame myself for not realizing that my dad was suffering, that he was broke, yet he never said no when I asked for money.

I often think of how heartless the guys that shot them were. I mean they saw me, a teenage girl watching my dead father and they didn’t even hesitate the shoot my mother right in front of my eyes.

The image of my dad in a pool of his own blood, and the fear in my mom’s eyes before she fell to the floor next to him were flashing in my mind, making me shake in fear and pain.

By killing them, they didn’t get their money, so why do it?

I’ll admit, I was a little scared at first that they’d come after me. The police kept reassuring me that they are locked up now but I still couldn’t stop that fear.

And the nightmares will never stop. The psychologist I went to helped a lot but I still can’t sleep with the lights off and I still get those horrible nightmares. But it’s not like she could erase my memory.

I just hoped that my parents were okay now, that they were happy and watching over me.

Sometimes when I’m sitting on my own I would sense their presence. I would smell my mother’s vanilla scent or my dad’s manly perfume. Most of the time, I would feel them next to me when I’m drawing or painting.

I was pretty sure it was just my imagination but I liked to believe that it was really their spirit here with me.

I can’t help but wonder how different my life would’ve been if they were still here. I couldn’t deny that there were some advantages of moving here.

I got to meet the Walkers, an amazing family that treated me like I was one of them.

I got to have real friends like Paul and Mariah.

And most importantly, I got to apologize to Alex and see him again. I used to think of him constantly and I always worried about him because I never knew anything about him after that day.

Sure my relationship with Alex now isn’t at its best right now but I’m just happy I got to see him again.

That’s life, I concluded, it’s painful and it’s hard, but we are the ones who decide to carry on or just break down and stay in the past.

I decided to carry on.

Even if the past will stay with me forever, and it will break me sometimes, I will always find my way back up. I will always stand up again, wipe away my tears, and carry on.

That’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to carry on and make my parents proud. I’m sure they’re watching me somehow.

Around thirty minutes have passed since Alex left and I was feeling a bit calmer after thinking about everything.

Standing up from my bed, I walked to the bathroom to wash my face before going to the kitchen to get some water. I didn’t want Emily or Chase seeing me like this.

To say I was shocked when I saw Alex sitting on the floor outside my bedroom would be an understatement.

“A-Alex?” I stammered.

He smiled slightly as he stood up.

“Feeling better?” He asked and I felt my heart hammering in my chest at the way he was looking at me. That look was familiar, very familiar. It’s the look that showed that he cares, that he is worried about me.

But what if I was just imagining things? I mean he just rejected me this morning and said that we should be friends.

Maybe that look was just because he considered himself my friend and he cared about me in a friendly way.

I felt a little hope in my heart at the thought of Alex caring for me. It was just friendship but it was better than nothing, right?

I shook my head, clearing all these stupid thoughts. The last time I felt a little hope, I was crushed so no more hoping.

I looked into his soft blue eyes and nodded. I then shifted my gaze to the ground and tried to sidestep him but he stopped me.

“Wait,” he said, his hand holding onto my arm. I glanced up at him, waiting for him to carry on.

“I don’t know what to say,” he uttered, running a hand through his hair.

“Don’t say anything,” I said. Surprisingly, my voice came out calm and steady, the complete opposite of what I was feeling at that moment.

“Your parents,” he said. “They loved you so much. I-I…”

He sighed in frustration, not knowing what words to say.

“Hailey, I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to hear that but I’m sorry you have to live with that. I can’t even imagine how hard it is for you right now.”

I shrugged. “It’s okay,” I mumbled.

“No, it’s not. I don’t even know how you manage to keep on smiling and loving life. And the thing that shocks me the most is how you still pray after what happened. Don’t you blame Him?” He asked, lifting his gaze to the ceiling as if God was there.

I smiled at Alex and shook my head.

“It wasn’t His fault, Alex. Maybe if I didn’t pray so much, I wouldn’t be able to carry on. God helped me out. Besides, Tom, Clarissa, Chase, Emily, and Paul were all here for me. And so were you… At some point.”

Why I said the last part, I don’t know, but I felt that I should add it because he was really good to me before the breakup.

He made me feel loved and special. He was the only one other than my parents that could make me feel like that and that’s why I loved him even more.

“Hailey, I-I’m so—” I cut him off because I didn’t want to hear his apology and I couldn’t stand the pain in his voice. I didn’t know why he sounded so hurt. Shouldn’t that be me? Shouldn’t I be the one hurting now? He was the one who rejected me this morning and he was the one who urged me to tell him about my parents that were killed.

“Don’t Alex. I don’t want to hear it,” I said.

“But—” he tried to argue but I didn’t let him.

“Are you still going to tutor me?” I asked, changing the subject completely. I just didn’t want to deal with this anymore. It’s enough for one day and my heart can’t handle any more emotions.

He sighed and nodded. “Sure.”

I nodded once and went back into my room with Alex, forgetting about the water I was going to get. I took out my book and copybook and we started.

He started explaining but my brain was completely shut off. I tried so hard to make sense of all that on my copybook. I tried to remember what Mr. Jack said in class and I tried to concentrate of what Alex was saying but I couldn’t understand.

The chapters were getting harder and I’ve had the worst day ever so I can’t comprehend anything.

I feel so stupid.

“I’m sorry,” I told him half an hour later. I ran a hand over my face. “I just can’t understand anything.”

He gave me a smile. “It’s okay. We can try again tomorrow. This chapter is difficult anyway.”

Without waiting for a reply he closed my book and copybook. Thank God!

I watched him silently as he fixed my pencils and put my stuff in my bag.

“Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?” I blurted out, shocking us both.

“W-what?” He asked as his blue eyes widened in surprise. His right hand was holding my bag and his left hand which was holding my copybook was frozen above the bag.

“Do you… Do you pity me?” I asked, watching his reaction closely. I mean what could be the other reason? How come he was being good right after I told him about my parents?

Okay well maybe he was good when he decided to come tutor me after the breakup and all the stuff that has happened but still.

“That’s ridiculous, Hailey. You know I don’t pity people, especially not you.”

I looked into his eyes but I couldn’t find a trace of his lie. His gaze didn’t falter and his lips didn’t twitch. Those were the two things that would usually let me know if he was lying or not and now, it looked like he wasn’t lying.

“Then how do you explain your sudden change?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

“It’s not sudden,” he blurted out and when I raised an eyebrow he panicked and started stuttering. “I-I mean uh…”

He closed his mouth and bit his lips.

“So if you don’t pity me then why?” I urged.

“Because I l—” He stopped talking for a few seconds then said. “I can’t tell you.”

“Really?” I said sarcastically.

“I have to go,” Alex said, standing up quickly, forgetting about my bag and copybook that were now lying on the floor.

“You’re bipolar,” I muttered under my breath, pulling at my sweater.

“I’m not!” He yelled offended, and I jumped, not expecting him to hear me. Oh well, it’s good that he heard me anyway. It would show him how much he’s confusing me and playing with my emotions!

I gave him an innocent smile and he shook his head as he left my room.

“Bye,” he called over his shoulder.

I giggled when he left as I remembered the look on his face when he heard me say he’s bipolar.

A smile was on my face as I thought of him and I wondered if I will ever be able to love a guy as much as I loved him.

I took out my iPod to keep my thoughts of Alex away. Hmm, what to play…

A few minutes later, I heard a knock on my door.

“Come in,” I called out, not taking my eyes of my phone as I played Temple Run.

“Hey!” I heard Paul’s voice. I paused the game and looked up at my best friend.

“Hey, what’s up?” I answered, smiling.

“I’m going to beat Chase’s ass at COD, want to watch?” He asked.

“I’ll be there to kick your ass later,” I said, winking at him.

“We’ll see,” he said, a smirk on his face. “I’ve been practicing.”

“I don’t need practice to kick your ass,” I replied and he chuckled.

“See you later,” he said as he left my room and I went back to my game.

I pouted when the guy in Temple Run ran into a tree. I was never good at that game, anyway. I put my iPod on my bedside table and stood up. Time to kick Paul’s ass, I thought, smirking to myself as I walked to the game room.

“I’m so confused! So damn confused!” I heard Alex’s voice, making my steps come to a halt.

I didn’t know he was still here. I thought it was only Chase and Paul in the game room I was just about to step into. I thought he already left.

I knew I shouldn’t eavesdrop but I just couldn’t resist.

“I love her and I don’t know what to do,” he said and his voice cracked.

Oh my God, he was crying.

My heart beat accelerated as I waited for him to confirm who he was talking about. I needed to know if he was talking about me.

I was tempted to run away because maybe he was talking about a different girl. That would break me even more and I don’t think I can handle more.

But I didn’t run away. I had to hear what he had to say.

“You messed up, Alex,” Chase told him. “You messed up big time.”

“I know,” Alex replied, and I sensed a little anger in his voice. “I’m a jerk. I don’t even deserve her. She has always been too good for me. She’s better off without me.”

“She is,” Paul agreed. “But you’re not.”

“Why don’t you man up and go tell her?” Chase suggested and I felt my heart start to break. I was almost sure they weren’t talking about me because after the breakup, Chase didn’t want Alex anywhere near me and I doubt he would be the one to encourage him.

“I-I can’t,” Alex replied. “She’ll reject me. I know she will.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Paul said. “You rejected her the last time and I think she still loves you even after that.”

“How do you know? She probably hates me now,” Alex said.

“Trust me, Alex,” Chase said. “Hailey can never hate you.”

My breath caught in my throat at the mention of my name. So they were talking about me?

My heart beat accelerated even more and I tried to slow it down because I couldn’t hear their voices clearly with the beating in my ears.

“You’ll never know till you talk to her so go up there and tell her exactly how you feel,” Paul said and it was silent for the next few minutes until the door of the game room opened and the three guys stepped outside and saw me sitting on the floor, eavesdropping.

Oops.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cliffhanger! :D Don't kill meeee! (a)

I have a five-day camp that starts on Wendesday so I'll upload on Wenesday then again on Sunday when I return :)

Thank you URBeautiful for the song suggestion :) --->

Happy Birthday to samjeanmarie and  pennycollier. Have a wonderful year :)

Next Upload: Wednesday

Aim for this chapter: 680 votes

Have a wonderful day/night everyone! <3