Author: Kattyfish03

Reviewer: Yanzieyy

Title: 7/10

The title "His Hostage Forever" is something for me to frown upon. It gives me a lot of negative vibes just by reading it. And for somebody who is not really into this kind of story, I'd honestly skip the book.

Well it's really a good thing that you have made me feel connected with your intended theme. Although in one fleeting sound of it, all I could come up... was something I should only keep for myself.

Cover: 8/10

The cover conveyed a black & white image of a woman with scars on her faces and a manacle that bound her neck. So yeah...it makes me think of a dear poor dog. Kidding aside. It was actually right to what you really want for your readers to feel. I could get the torture, violence, mature vibes like a...BDSM. I had to tell myself if I was really ready to lose all the remaining innocence I have after this review.

Blurb: 5/10

Your blurb talks about the protagonist and antagonist, I presume. It went like yeh nah this is her she was beautiful and innocent and yeh she was kidnapped. And this is a rich guy yeh he kidnapped her and yeh of course he should be handsome and rich and that's all.

See? There's nothing really exciting about it. The characters are introduced but their predicaments in this blurb are so shallow. If this girl would eventually fall in love with him, I wouldn't honestly be surprised at all.

Sensory details: 4/10

There's nothing much shown throughout the story other than the thoughts of the two characters. And I still couldn't relate to them because their logic fell too short. One example in Chapter 1. There was a scene where Blake came too close to Melissa, and our MC who was very much uncomfortable about this happenstance didn't bother to call out for it. I have no idea if it's the fact that he was too handsome. Why didn't she call for help? I didn't get that because if a creepy guy no matter how good looking harassed you in front of your own apartment, it should really be a red flag. And our MC wondered why this guy was hitting with him because they were both in the same batch and that shouldn't be happening. Who says that?

Setting: 5/10

A cliché setting of course. Nothing much stands out than the rest of the story here on WP. I need to see how the environment in which scenes are delivered make an important part to the flow to the story. But yeah... It just revolves around University, Cafeteria, Melissa's room and Blake's.

Character Development: 2/10

The character development is so weird. This Melissa girl was ready to be tortured just so her friend would not get hurt or even tortured. I would understand a little of this reason, but there's non realistic weight of why she's doing it.

On the other hand, this Blake Williams who is a psycho maniac likes to torture and rape Melissa or even other girls for the reason of pure lust. This is a mental issue, and I believe it should be properly executed. But Blake  doesn't feel right to me. I didn't feel connected or feel what's it like being him. Reasons? There's A LOT of telling. And it also turned out that he can also be soft which made him like a pathetic bipolar.

There are also a lot of POV. Like hell? My mind really hurt trying to precess all the point of views in one chapter.

Plot: 4/10

The blurb says it all. It is as bad as the plot itself. The pacing is too fast that I couldn't tell what's going on. There's also these "Flashback Scenes" which the author failed miserably to execute the proper transition of scenes.

To summarise, to what I can only recall from reading it, it follows the story of a beautiful girl who was envied by many people because of her unparalled beauty and in which became the sole reason of this psychopath to dominate her (both sexually and physically) together with his ridiculous rules.

Just like the story description, this seems to be really crappy and there's no good premise I can stan for.

Grammar: 3/10

The grammar is also bad in this story. There are tons of technicalities that need improvement.

There are words like "hitted" which should be "hit."

"She didn't answered" which should be, "She didn't answer".

There's also some awkward action tags like "...I answered with an annoyed expression."

I suggest "...I replied coldly" would be better.

Another one: "I'm Ella Brown," she said with a handshake.

Suggestion: "I'm Ella Brown," she introduced, extending her arm.

There's also supposedly internal dialogues in which I believe should be italicized not quoted.
"Didn't he just call me Mel? What the heck?"

Overall impression: 5/15

As I said earlier, this isn't the kind of story I would normally read, but I would've still enjoyed it if it had been written properly. I'm sorry if it's going to sound really harsh to you, I just want to say that I'm no fan of sugarcoating. I hope this helps a little for your improvement. Thank you so much. 💙

Total:- 43/100