Writter: Kikibtsstan

Reviewer: BookLoverVenue

Title-8/10

I dunno why the word 'Mutant' is there in the story title. If you must, you should find it out what the meaning of mutant actually is since it does not match up with the story. Your story is dealing with a mystical race namely the Elevanas and Gloridians that's why the 'Mystical' is perfect. However, Mutant is a word which is described as a sudden change in the gene due to radiation (X-ray, gamma rays or ultraviolet rays). So, I felt that it is a bit unfitting. Though, I can't be sure because your protagonist might know that she is a mutant later in the story and I have just read till the 8th chapter.

Cover-6/10

I think, a lot can be improved in the cover. Being a GD myself, I can really sit all day to point out the mistakes in the cover but I am trying keep this short. I really think you should consider looking for a different designer to remodel your cover. Your current cover is a bit unfitting for your story itself. Your story had many theme/genre like Mystery, fantasy and romance. And TBH, the cover gives just the Romance vibes and nothing else. Plus it has no author name or an subtitle (which is always preferred).

Sensory details-5/10

There was almost no sensory detailing in the story. You were not describing what the protagonist was feeling. All you say writing was what she was THINKING and not FEELING. Like you were writing a lot if dialogues. Dialogues of what she was telling herself. But rather than saying that in dialogues, make the readers experience it. The anxiety, the frustration, the readers should feel it. Here's a tip hoe can u do that, try to describe a character's feeling by the five senses organs. Namely, Vision, smell, taste, touch and hearing. Try to explain these topics or else the readers will not feel what you are writing, they'll be just reading it.

Blurb-10/10

I think, the blurb was really good. The length was perfect, the points were perfect. No correction here.

Setting- 3/10

This is the topic that was almost non existent in your book. I couldn't imagine a single place they were in. The hallway, the tile colour, the false ceiling, the square shaped room, the frail curtains, the lush green field, this is how you explain setting. When Fiona was at school, you didn't describe how it looked like. You didn't even explain her house structures. Was it a one-storied house or a two-storied house? What colour was it of? Did the house have a garden? I think, you have to work a lot in both Sensory detailing and settings. As I read your book, it was filled with dialogues. You were telling us the scenes not showing them to us.

Character Development-7/10

Your characters are going pretty good. However, I did find a few flaws here and there. Fiona didn't decide a surname for her even when she was filling up any forms? That's weird. What about when she was signing up for school? The principal mustn't be dumb. Also, she was staying alone at home, she didn't have to say that to the teacher. I mean, yeah, if I say that to my teacher, she'll inform the principal and then maybe the different authories. Also, Louis feels pretty weird. He is in the sport team but he never stays after school to practice. And why is everybody related to him? Also, it was very hard to picture them. You didn't explain what they looked like. You did inform us about the blue eyes and all but what about the height and hair colour and length. Also, I think, you should put in some natural qualities in the character. It felt like everybody was overreacting.

Plot-10/15

Your story started with a very cool mystery and fantasy jolt but I was fairly dissapointmented to find out that it'll be taking a turn for romance events which is pretty lengthly and was the only thing for the first 8 chapters. I mean, I loved the new twist of mythical characters and I would have been happy if you kept the book theme centered upon it with the romance as a side dish. Something like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and even Hunger Games. But still, I bet Louis has a few secrets of his own shoved up under his sleeves but let's not ponder into that. I don't mean to intrude on your story idea or theme but I really felt that you could have gone into a different base than most wattpad romance with a bully. You have an amazing story idea to be honest and I don't want it to be lost into another romance book when your book diverse so much more than that.

Grammar-9/10

I didn't find many mistakes other than punctuation errors and a few question tag writing errors. And I commented on those areas.

Overall Impression -10/15

I think, you have to work a lot in the book. You sure as hell do have a very good book idea but your execution needs to be a bit better.  First of all, all the dialogues without any sensory detailings were really not to my liking. She was also talking to herself which you wrote under double quote. Say something to herself is a thing that can be done twice or thrice in a chapter, but not continuously. Also, you weren't writing about her emotions as deeply. I suggest you should read published books. Aot of them. Whether it be fantasy or mystery or romance. Just read anything that is available. You'd see how the dislogues are written and understand the weightage too. Also, try to increase your vocabulary a bit.

As I said earlier, your book looks promising, you just have to polish it a little bit.

Marks Achieved: 68
Grade: D+