I'm dressed in a long flowing gown, the tresses falling at my feet like a waterfall, the colour a deep turquoise blue with flecks of green, mimicking the colour of my fiancé's eyes. 

Prominent silver bangles adorn my wrists, latching on to my skin like shackles. My parents and Lazarus took me home after the altercation that lead me to Lucian's house and now we are on the way to the VIP hall overlooking the pits. 

Today is match day, the day of the week when human fighters face off each other in hopes of winning and surviving. The system is a damned one, humans don't stand a chance at joining Plutonian society. 

We've made it impossible for them, exploiting their hopes to our own advantage and greed. Due to my own self respect and worth, I have sworn to myself that I would never take a human paramour even if it meant getting them into the army. 

I have too much pride but I doubt the same can be said for the Plutonian next to me. Lazarus has taken human lovers more than once and I've made them disappear just as often. 

And I will continue to do so because the first human paramour I found him with, left his estate with cuts lining her arms and face. The second never left at all. 

Prying eyes may think I'm the jealous lover who gets rid of all the humans he sleeps with. However, only the Sympathizers know we've hidden them away in the depths of our labs. The humans work for us now, unable to leave their confinements, doomed to a life in the underground. 

But they remain alive and unharmed. It is all I can do for now, my chances at becoming sole commander slipping through my fingers day by day. When Lucian turned eighteen, General Lyra told the three of us young hopefuls about the general who usurped leadership because the others were unfit. 

General Peqa became the Sole General, the highest in command, not having to answer to anyone else. The others remained as commanders, only offering advise when needed. I remembered wondering then, what it would be like to wield such power over the entire population, the entire universe. 

And then I'd turned to Lucian and Lazarus, noting the same hunger in Lazarus's eyes whilst Lucian remained unimpressed. I wonder now if General Lyra had told us that story during our trainings for a reason. 

Did she slowly but intentionally drive us apart? It's no secret she wants Lazarus out of the picture, but did she allude to Lucian or I taking sole leadership one day?

Wondering about these things now seems so hopeless now that Lazarus has me in the palm of his hand.

I steal a glance at him. His gaze is fixed on the road. He's been silent ever since I came home with him but I can feel the anger radiating off of him in waves. An explosion just waiting to go off. 

"Your mind has been poisoned against me," He says suddenly, breaking the silence between us. We zip past other gliders, the traffic clearing when they see the emblem on his glider's front. Lights turning green automatically at every turn. 

"You only have your actions to blame for that." I answer in a clipped tone. My bangles jingle when I cross my arms over my chest. 

"You were barely there for an hour. My door locked and your comm had no signal and the first conclusion you drew was that I had imprisoned you." His voice grows sharper by the second. I watch his fingers clench around the steering handles, his rage barely contained. 

"Can you blame me? You're just as untrusting as I am. You would have drawn the same conclusions just as quickly."

"Why are we like this?" He sighs in frustration, running a hand through his golden and silver hair. The street lights make him glow in an array of colours, it's impossible how someone can be so deceptively beautiful. 

"I had no say in this move, Lazarus. You could have asked me first." 

"You're my fiancé---"

I cut him off before he can say more. "Yes, and you are mine. I deserve to know your thoughts, your intentions, before you carry them out without my knowledge." 

"If you had just given me more time, you would have seen that I didn't lock you inside. It was temporary, the loss of signal was temporary. You are not a prisoner, the fact that you even think so is insanity." 

"You locking me inside your room for even a minute is insanity, Lazarus," My voice picks up a notch and I notice him picking up speed. Maybe this isn't the best place to argue. 

"It wasn't intentional but you running into Lucian's arms was." He slams a fist on the handle, making it rattle, our glider swerving a little but I'm too angry to care. My blood is boiling with rage, Lazarus's anger only fueling mine. 

He's taken a turn out of the Northern City, turning a sharp right into the wilderness by the Western border. I don't stop him, even though the crowd at the pits are waiting for our arrival to congratulate us on the engagement. 

A celebration of love over the pits where humans fight to the death. How tasteless.

"Don't make this about him. You always do when you are in the wrong. This is about us, Lazarus. You and me. Me, your fiancé whom you claim to love and yet you declared me mad in front of your entire staff and had me drugged!" I'm shouting now, unable to keep my voice levelled any longer. 

The glider picks up speed, going faster than ever, the view outside a blur of grey as we fly over the icy ground at an unimaginable speed. 

"That's because you were raving mad back there, shouting like a lunatic about me trapping you inside when all I did was disappear for a minute." 

I hear the harsh sound of my palm slapping his cheek hard before I realise what I've done. The glider screeches to a halt just before we crash into a lone boulder, the metal lining the front scratching against white rock with a loud screech. 

Lazarus turns to me, his eyes molten, I half expect him to attack me and my body tenses, braced to defend myself. 

The tension between us is electric, growing stronger by the second. I watch the prominent veins in his forearms grow as his fists clench and unclench. His cheek is red now and I know that's going to leave a mark. 

"The only one crazy here is me." He finally says. He studies my face, his gaze so intense as his eyes flit from my eyes to my lips and then my dress. His stare makes me feel too heated, my want for him growing despite myself. 

This is mad. We are both mad. 

One second we're devouring each other with our eye fucking and the next he grabs my waist pulling me on top of him. I straddle his waist as he unbuckles his pants and pushes my underwear aside in one fluid movement. 

I groan loudly, biting into his shoulder as he thrusts into me fervently, each time going deeper, shattering me into pieces. This is wrong, this is the last thing we should be doing but volatile sex has never felt so good. 

I grind against him as he fingers my clit, my orgasm building with each thrust of his cock and flick of his finger. 

My mind goes blank when an orgasm bursts through me, spreading all the way down my legs, tipping me over the edge. 

Lazarus groans loudly, the sound hitting me right between the legs. "You feel so good." He mumbles before pulling out and releasing in his palm. He cleans up and I climb back to my seat, adjusting my dress and underwear. 

I feel guilty, I feel wrong, I feel stupid. 

I feel satiated. 

I turn to Lazarus who is busy wiping the cum from his hands. He is my weakness. This volatility between us can't be love. It's too toxic, too overwhelming, too erratic. 

But I'm obsessed with this feeling, with him and I don't think I'll ever be able to let go. When he pulls back from the rock and turns around, I realise with growing dread that I will never be free of Lazarus, my mind, body and soul will never let me. 

Because as painful as it is to be with him, the alternative is so much worse. 

"No matter how much we fight, I will always come back to you, Luna. You are my addiction, my everything. I will never let that go. The only time we separate is if one of us dies." 

I bite my lip, it's like he just read my thoughts. 

"It doesn't have to be like this. We could try to be normal, stable." I say after a long moment. 

Lazarus only laughs like I'd just told him the most hilarious joke as we drive past the North city gates and make a turn towards the pits. 

The hall above the sand laden stadium is decorated with floating lights, most of them a warm pink as they dance below the muted grey ceiling. Commanders and their paramours fill the hall, tonight being one of the occasions where humans have been invited to mingle with Plutonians. 

Some of them watch the scene below through tinted glass, where two fighters have gathered to start their fight. 

But most of the commanders take turns to congratulate Lazarus and I. We stand at the centre of the room, a bunch of lights pooled above us, casting spotlights all around the main attraction that is us. 

The both of us are enigmatic as we greet everyone who approaches but inside I want to escape more than ever. I hate this facade we have created, the doting, loving couple who is anything but. 

I catch Lucian's gaze from the far left of the room and then he walks up to greet us. 

"Congratulations, my favourite comrades." Lucian is rarely sarcastic but it drips off him today in spades and then I notice the drained drink in his hand. 

Lazarus pats him on the back, his tone belittling. "You'll find your soulmate one day too, comrade. I pray for it." 

He only nods before leaving us to greet others. General Lyra makes an appearance and then she tells us that a death sentence is next on the agenda on the pits. 

This piques Lazarus's interest, drawing him to the glass window. 

When a human loses four fights in a row, they are subjected to a match with a Plutonian. No human has survived such a match and these always draw the most interest amongst us despite the usual outcome. 

General Lyra uses the opportunity to slip something into one of my dress pockets before slipping away. 

"You're welcome," She murmurs as I palm the small round object hiding away in my skirts. 

"He's lying about the lab," Lucian is by my side again, his words soft but sure. I look around me to check for anyone watching but all the guests are too busy anticipating the fight below. I can almost smell the bloodlust in the air.

"We shouldn't talk about that here," I whisper, paranoid anyway. 

"They've stolen humans from here." This piques my curiosity, making think of Ron and his brother but Lucian's being too careless with his words, if anyone had listening devices they could hear us.

I can't risk turning on the static device I have without General Lyra noticing. 

"Not here," I squeeze his wrist in warning. 

"Then meet me at our safe place." He tells me. 

"When?" I ask, wondering how I'll be able to sneak out and meet him. I'll have to find a way somehow. 

"You'll know when." He answers cryptically and then he walks away just as the crowd around us roars in happiness, their cheers confirming that the human fighter below must now be dead.