Krystal's POV

Three weeks.

Three long, agonizing weeks.

The first week is the worst. I stay in bed all day, all night just crying my heart out. All I can think about is Reese and the memories we shared. And how it's over now. I'll never get to see his smile again, at least not directed at me. I'll never be the one to make him laugh, poke his dimples, touch him, kiss him, just be with him. I go to sleep crying and wake up crying. And to someone who hasn't experienced heartbreak I may seem dramatic. But when you have you heart broken by the one you love, see if you won't feel this terrible.

Sometimes at night it'll feel like I'm dying because my tears are the silent ones, the one where it's like you can't breathe, that all the air is being sucked out of your lungs. At night it's 100x times more painful.

I barely eat, barely sleep. Just lay curled up in bed wondering how my life took a jump off a cliff into hell.

The second week I finally manage to peel myself out of bed. I shower, and my tears mix in with the water. Then I'll get out, stare at myself in the mirror, and start crying silently all over again.

The most pathetic thing is, if Reese came back and said he wanted to be with me, I would take him back in an instant, no questions asked. But he's not and I'll just have to learn to accept that. Except I'm having a little trouble with that part.

While I'm showering one day I have a panic inducing revelation. Against my better judgment I start thinking about Reese and I's last moment together. I realize when we had sex he didn't use a condom. I started to panic then laughed at myself. Psshh, there was no way I could get pregnant. That happened in bad reality tv shows and corny movies. Not in real life. So I immediately dismissed the thought.

Summer is at its end. I need to pull myself together and figure out what I'm going to do. Do I still break up with Josh? Or do I see if things can still work out between us, lying to him and myself? At this point, I feel like I need him just so I don't feel alone. I'd be using him to try and get over Reese. I know this, and yet, I can't find it in me to care.

In the middle of the third week I wake up with a start. Something doesn't feel right.

I stare at my ceiling, fighting a sudden wave of nauseousness. Breathe. In and out. It'll pass.

Unfortunately it doesn't and I fling the bedsheets aside sprinting to the bathroom. I make it to the toilet just in time to vomit. While using one hand to grip the toilet I use the other to hold my hair back.

"Uhhhh," I groan. What the hell was that?

Afterwards I flush the toilet and brush my teeth, staring at my reflection. My skin is pale, my eyes red from crying with dark circles underneath, and my hair a nappy mess piled on top of my head.

This is what heartbreak does to you. Turns you into a unattractive shell of yourself. Word of advice? Don't fall in love.

After that incident I thought it was over but nope. Any food I managed to eat was immediately thrown back up. I couldn't keep anything down.

This kept on for days. On the fifth day I was drained of any and all energy. After puking I curled up on the bathroom floor holding my stomach. I couldn't summon the energy to move.

"Krystal?" I heard my mom knocking on my room door. They must've finally noticed my absence.

The door is unlocked so when I don't answer she comes in and calls my name again.

"Krystal?"

I can only manage to groan from my spot on the floor. She comes into the bathroom.

"Darling?" She exclaims. "What's wrong?"

If I could roll my eyes I would. Three and a half weeks of not checking up on me and now you want to know what's wrong? I could've been dead and they wouldn't have even realized.

"Not....feeling....good..." I manage to get out. Why am I sick so much?

I hear my moms sharp intake of breath. "Oh no. Is it contagious? Because your father and I have a party to attend this weekend and I do not-"

Oh my fücking gosh are you kidding me? She's worried about if what I have is contagious because she doesn't want to be sick for some stupid party rather than if I'm ok?

"-take you to a doctor?" I tune back in to hear the last part of her sentence.

"No," I finally pull myself up. "I'm fine."

"But-"

"I said I'm fine," I snap. "So you could you just get out?"

My legs shake a little as I stand and wobble over to the sink where I splash cold water on my face. I can feel my mom watching me before she turns and exits without another word.

I still feel a little pukey but for now I'm ok so I shuffle back to my bed and get back under the covers.

Maybe I should see a doctor?

Nah. It's probably not that serious. I'll just go buy some Pepto Bismo and be done with it.

Reese's POV

"You are a fücking idiot man."

I scrub my hands down my face and sigh. Yes, yes I am.

"You had the perfect chance to tell her the truth and you didn't? Why?" Marcus looks at me.

"I don't know...I guess I just wasn't ready for everything. I've got things...issues that I haven't resolved yet. That I'm not sure will ever be resolved."

It's been three weeks since things ended between Krystal and I. I should've told her that night that I loved her. It was right on the tip of my tongue...but at the last minute I stopped.

There was that fear again, planting doubt into my mind. I'll hurt her, I'm not good enough for her. I'd already hurt her once, what if I did it again? It would kill me. Admitting it out loud to her would've made it real and loving her was just too scary.

Is that even a thing? A fear of love? What would it be called, love-phobia?

He shakes his head. "Don't you love her?"

I close my eyes and nod. "I do. And that's why I let her go."

I don't need to see him to know he's rolling his eyes. "That quote is utter bullshït. Whoever made that was a pussy who couldn't fight for what he wanted."

Pussy or not, it certainly fits my situation right now. It also makes it easier not to regret my choice of withholding the truth from Krystal.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I pick up my beer can and take a swig. "It's giving me a headache."

"As it should," he says snippily and I glare at him. My phone pings with a text.

AsianSister: IM BACK!!!!!!

My foul mood is quickly lifted and I grin.

"Whose that?" Marcus raises a brow. I stand.

"Kimora. Gotta go."

"Have fun!" He calls out after me.

I open my text messages to reply.

Me: where r u?

AsianSister: just got home. Meet me at park?

Me: ok

I don't have to wait at the park for long before I see Kimora running toward me.

"REESE!" She yells and tackles me in a hug.

One of these days I'm going to break my back.

"It's soooooo good to see you!" She pulls back and stands before helping me up.

"How was Japan?" I smirk, already knowing her answer.

"Don't even ask," she rubs her forehead. "The only good part was my cousin Mindy. Other than that I had to deal with my three little demonic cousins, my aunt, uncle, and my parents. For two and a half months. I'm surprised I haven't gone crazy."

I laugh. "At least you got to travel."

"Please. If I could've stayed here with you I would've. How was your summer?"

How was my summer?

"Boring," I reply flippantly. "Just hung out with friends. Got high. The usual."

She rolls her eyes. "Of course." Suddenly her eyes bug out. "WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! WHAT ARE THOSE?" She points to my arms.

"Tattoos," I shrug.

"I can't believe you got tattoos! First of all you're underage and second, sleeves! That's like, expensive as heck! How did you even get the money and the permission?" She waves her hand. "Actually don't tell me. I don't want to be an accessory to whatever crime you committed."

"You wouldn't even be an accessory but ok," I laugh.

"So you did do something illegal?" She gasps.

"I guess you'll never know."

She narrows her eyes at me. "I feel like you did more this summer than you're letting on."

You have no idea.

I shrug again and smile mysteriously.

Kimora quickly changes topics. "So are you excited for school?"

I groan. "Hell no. Who is ever excited for school to start?"

"I am! We're gonna be juniors!" She cheers. "One more year closer to graduating!"

I try and fail to muster up some of her enthusiasm.

"I can't wait to see what classes we get," Kimora continues.

"NERD!" I exclaim. She flips me off.

"You know who I can't wait to see?" She asks as we walk.

"Who?"

"My bestie Cheyenne!"

"I thought I was your bestie," I hold my hand to my heart in mock hurt.

"No you're my guy best friend. She's my ultimate best friend. There's a difference."

"You girls and your labels are confusing."

"So you're telling me you don't have an ultimate best friend?"

"See, us guys don't do that best friend crap. If we're friends we're friends, girl or guy. There's no ranking or some shït."

"That's lame," she sticks her tongue out.

"No you're lame."

The both of us laugh and I'm grateful she's back.

It helps me not to think about Krystal.

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