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Krystal's POV

It's hard to believe it's been a month and a half since summer started. With everything that's happened it feels longer than that.

I stare at my calendar. Six weeks until Josh gets back.

Sighing I put on a pair of shorts and Bebe tank top before meeting Reese outside the gates.

We decided to go on a day trip today, which is like a road trip except it's not overnight. As usual my Lana playlist blasts through the speakers.

This time Reese drives us up to the cliffs and parks the truck. I get out and stretch. The view is spectacular. It's like the sky meets the ocean in a clash of blues. The sky is cloudless and the sun shines bright.

Reese comes to stand next to me.

"Ever thought about what it would be like to jump off?"

I turn to him with wide eyes and he sees the look on my face laughing.

"Not me. Trust me I've never had thoughts like....that."

I sigh relieved.

"But there are lots of stories about people who have jumped to their deaths here. Sometimes I wonder what they were thinking, how they were feeling. Were they scared? Or were they at peace?"

"That's a little macabre to think about."

"It is," he agrees. "But I guess I'm curious."

We stand there staring out over the cliff for a while long before going to lay down in the bed of the truck. Now instead of staring at the sky standing up we're staring at it laying down.

I start to think about Josh. I know for certain that I don't love him anymore. Not the way I once did. I wonder if I ever even loved him?

And the answer comes immediately. No I didn't. What I had with him was not love.

Because love, love is this incredible feeling that sweeps you right of your feet. It
comes unexpectedly, like a tsunami and crashes over you. When you're in love, you think about that person constantly. They're the last thought on your mind when you go to sleep and the first thing you think about when you wake up. When you're in love it makes you crazy, do crazy irrational things that you wouldn't normally do. You live for their smile, their laugh, their everything. Hearing their voice is like an aphrodisiac. When you're in love you willingly give your heart to that person. Love is powerful and all consuming.

So I know for a fact I never loved Josh. I hadn't ever experienced those feelings with him. They were all feelings I experienced with Reese. Because I love him.

Holy shït.

The revaluation hits me like a speeding train.

I'm in love with Reese.

How did I not realize sooner? I should've but I didn't. Maybe my mind wasn't ready to admit it.

But now I'm certain.

I'm one hundred percent, positively, absolutely, insanely in love with him.

I sit up abruptly.

"You ok?"

No. No I'm not ok. Because I know the absolute truth and when Josh gets back I can't be with him. Not anymore.

Reese touches my shoulder and I jump.

"Krystal? Are you-"

"I'm fine," I answer quickly.

Get a hold of yourself Krystal!

He looks doubtful and I lean in touching his lips with my finger.

"I'm fine," I repeat. "More than fine."

We stay there until the sun sets and night falls. And under the starry sky we have sex in the back of the truck. Now that I know I'm in love with him it feels different.

I wonder if he feels it too.

Reese's POV

"I feel like we need to talk about the whole situation."

"What situation?" I line up my cue stick to take my shot.

"The Krystal situation."

"What about it?"

Marcus sets his pool stick aside and leans against the side of the table. "Call me curious but what happens when her boyfriend comes back?"

I shrug. "Don't know."

"You still gonna continue fücking her behind his back?"

"The idea did cross my mind..."

"I'm serious Reese. I'm sure it was nice and fun and I'm not trying to guilt you here because we've all done immoral things and honestly I could care less, but I just want to know where your head is at."

"I don't know," I finally snap.

It's not like those questions hadn't crossed my mind before, they did, but I didn't dwell on them. I tried to go with the flow of things.

It was becoming increasingly clear to me I would not be able to do that this time around.

This whole thing with Krystal was supposed to be a hit and quit. I wasn't supposed to get to know her, bond with her, or build a connection with her.

I wasn't supposed to feel anything for her.

And I couldn't pinpoint what exactly the feeling was. It was more than lust, more than affection, more than just a crush. It was something deeper than all of that and maybe, way, way, way, down in the pits of my subconsciousness I knew what it was but my mind wasn't coming up with an answer.

So I didn't know what I was going to do and I didn't know what was going to happen. For now, I would continue to see how things played out until A) I figured out what the hell I was feeling or B) Josh came back and I was forced to make a decision.

*****

"Have a safe flight," mom kisses dads cheek. He's going back to Brazil to take care of more business.

"I'll be back in a few weeks," he says picking up his bag. Then he turns to me.

"Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. And don't cause your mother any trouble."

"I'll try," I smirk.

Mom waves as he enters his taxi and drives off. Then she shuts the door and goes up to her room, most likely to sleep because that's what she always does whenever he leaves. It's like him leaving drains her energy or something.

Bored I decided to text Krystal.

Me: hey

Krystal: hi

Me: wyd?

Krystal: just relaxing in the spa. Wbu?

Me: nun much my dad just left back to Brazil

Krystal: you sad?

Me: 😂😂no this is a pretty regular occurrence

Krystal: is your mom sad

Me: I mean probably but she's not devastated or anything. Rn she's sleeping

Krystal: oh. I have a question

Me: shoot

Krystal: have you ever been in love before

I have to stop and laugh because her question is hilarious. Love? I don't think I even know what that means

Me: no I haven't. Have you?

Me: actually don't answer that. Of course you have. Josh right?

Krystal: I'm not in love with him

Me: you mean you're no longer in love with him?

Krystal: no. I never loved him

Me: ??? Then why were you with him

Krystal: I thought it was love.

Me: but it wasn't?

Krystal: no

Me: and how do you know that

Krystal: I just do

I don't know why but this whole 'love' conversation is freaking me out. I love my parents. I love my brother. But I've never been in love before. Not with a girl.

Are you sure about that? My mind asks. And it freaks me out so much I shut off my thoughts and change the subject.

Me: I have a question for you

Krystal: ask away

Me: do you feel guilty sometimes?

Krystal: about what?

Me: cheating on Josh

Her answer is not immediate and I wonder if she does feel guilty. I wouldn't hold it against her if she did. Even though Krystal comes off as bitchy she genuinely cares about people.

Krystal: I know I should....but I don't. And maybe that makes me a horrible person, idk

Me: it doesn't make you a horrible person. It makes you human. We aren't perfect

Krystal: yeah....maybe. Anyway I gtg I'm baking in here

Me: you have a home theater and you're in a spa? I don't get you

Krystal: 😂bye

After locking my phone I go upstairs and lay in bed. Soon I fall asleep.

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