@krystal

BTW: just decided to post the rest of the chapters because I see no reason in posting one by one if I already have them all done. Just warning ya, they're NOT edited. At least most aren't anyway. But yeah enjoy the rest of the book :)

Krystal's POV

I'm awoken the next morning by my ringing phone.

It's Josh.

"Hello?" I answer keeping my voice even.

"Hey! I called a few days earlier."

"Oh. I must've missed it."

I try to muster up some excitement but I can't. I don't even want to talk to him. I don't want to hurt him but what can I do?

I just don't feel the same way about him anymore.

"How are you?" He asks.

"Fine."

"Having fun?"

"Loads."

"Are you okay?" He finally asks.

"Yeah I actually just woke up."

"Oh. Sorry to wake you so early. They finally let me get another call."

"Have you even called your parents?" I sit up.

"Yeah they're having a blast in New York."

"That's good. How's camp?"

"Great. Although I can't wait to get back and see you."

"Me too," I reply dully. "Anyway I should get up and start the day."

"Of course. Talk to you soon."

"Mhm. Bye," I hang up and stretch.

I'm excited to spend some time at the beach with Reese. Even though we hang out there a lot it's still fun doing whatever with him. I brush my teeth and change, putting my hair up into a ponytail. We texted last night and agreed to meet each other there so I take my princess and leave without saying anything to my parents. I'm sure my dad will berate me for that later.

When I get there Reese is sitting in the sand by the water. It's a little less crowded today than usual.

"Hey," I sit next to him. He has a thoughtful look on his face. I nudge him.

"Oh sorry hey," he turns to me.

"You ok?" I ask.

"Do you want the truth or a lie?"

"The truth. Always."

"No. I'm not 'ok.'" He sighs.

I stand. "Walk with me?"

"Yeah sure."

"So what's on your mind?" I question as we walk.

"The one thing I can't stand about my parents is how they pretend Valentino never existed," he begins. "I don't expect them to grieve forever you know, I just want them to remember him sometimes. You know they've never visited his grave since the funeral."

My eyes widen.

"Yeah," he he chuckles dryly. "I know. Every time I bring him up they just brush me off. Like this morning. I was planning on going to visit him later today. And I asked if they wanted to come with me. They just looked at each other and ignored me. Like what the fück? How can you not visit your own sons grave?"

He takes a breath before continuing.

"Sometimes I wonder if telling them the truth would change things. But then I come to my senses."

"Why won't you tell them how he really died?" It's a question I've had since he told me the night of our road trip.

"I can't," Reese shakes his head. "It would destroy my mom. I don't want her to have that same guilt I carry everyday. A guilt like that only grows, slowly eating at your insides until there's nothing left."

I bite my lip. "But-"

"More than that I'm scared," he admits. "I don't know how to tell them. And the truth is maybe I don't want to. I want to live with that pain so I don't become like them. So I don't forget."

"But you'll never get better that way," I say quietly.

He shrugs. "I'm not sure I want to get better. It's like you've said before, I'm fücked up."

I don't know why but his words cut deep. Normally after a traumatic experience like that you want to get help, you want to get better. But Reese is the complete opposite. He carries the scar around like a badge. And every time it starts to heal he picks at it re-opening the wound.

It's sick. It's twisted. And it worries me about the state of his mental health. Is he really the happy go lucky person he always appears to be? Or is he pretending? Hiding his true darkness inside? A darkness that will one day consume him.

I wish I had the answers. I wish I could wave a wand and make everything better. But life isn't a fairy tale and the solutions don't come that easy.

Sometimes you don't always get a happy ending.

Reese's POV

I go visit Val by myself.

As usual.

You'd think after doing it for so long I would eventually get over it but I can't. I can't ignore him the way my parents do. And each and every time I only get angrier.

Ritualistically I lay an orange by his grave, then the baseball.

"Hey bro," I blow out a breath. "Couldn't get mom and dad to come. Sorry."

Silence. Of course I'm talking to a tombstone but I continue anyway.

"How's heaven? I'm sure it's a party everyday up there. I bet you're living it up," I sit down on the damp grass.

Usually when I visit his grave I just feel this heavy ache in my chest, like a part of my heart is missing which is essentially true. A part of my heart went did go missing when Val died.

But today the ache is duller than usual. Talking with Krystal helped me put things into perspective. It didn't fix me but it helped.

Being with her is always like that.

And I don't know what power she has over me or what magic she possesses but whenever I spend time with her I'm the same person I was before my brother died. I'm happy, if only for a few minutes or hours.

I guess in a way she heals me.

"I thought I'd find you here," a voice says. I look up. It's Marcus.

Marcus is respectful enough not to smoke even though I see the pack of cigarettes in his pocket.

Often times he'll come when I'm here and we'll just spend time reflecting on our lives. It's when I'm here that the memories hit me hard. I revel my first every therapy session with Angie. It was a month after we buried Val.

"The five stages of grief," Angie holds up a poster. "First you have denial. This is the stage where you can't wrap your head around what's happened. You refuse to believe that person is gone forever. Then you have anger. You can't believe they left you and you take it out on everyone. Next is bargaining. You begin to think 'if I do this please let me get this person back' or 'I'll trade this for this.' The fourth stage is depression. The situation really hits you and it leaves you feeling like nothing's worth living for. Finally you have acceptance. When you make peace with the situation."

The more I listen to Angie talk the more I want to take something, preferably a heavy object, and smash it over her head.

Bullshït. Complete and total bullshït. How dare she sit here and tell me all this crap. What does she know?

She doesn't know what it's like to watch your own brother be murdered.

Let's start with the 'denial' stage. I sure as hell wasn't in denial. My brother was dead. Gone. I saw it with my own two eyes. What was there to deny?

Then anger. Yeah I felt angry. But not at him. At myself for being a useless piece of shït who couldn't do anything to save him.

The whole bargaining concept was just plain stupid. Like I said I wasn't in denial. I knew nothing I could say, do, or offer would bring my brother back.

Depression? No, I didn't feel depressed, I felt numb. It's like all my body functions and emotions just shut down.

Lastly acceptance. The most idiotic stage of them all. I would never accept what happened to my brother. I would never 'make peace' with the situation. Not even if the fückers who murdered my brother were found and killed. Because even if they died it wouldn't bring him back. So no, I would not be 'making peace' with the situation.

"Reese? Reese are you with me?"

Angie pulls me out of my angry thoughts and I blink.

I'm done, I can't do this, not now, not ever.

I stand and without a word walk out. She calls after me but I ignore her and wait outside for my parents to come pick me up.

An hour passes before they come get me.

"How was your session?" Dad asks as I get in. "Did it help?"

No you asshole it did not help.

But I don't say that. Instead I stare out the window in silence.

*****

When I get home my moms in the living room reading a book. I walk past her to go to my room but her voice halts me.

"Not so fast. Come here."

I'm already annoyed she nor dad came with me today to visit Val so I'm really not in the mood to hear what she has to say. However I'm also not in the mood to argue with her.

Inwardly groaning I turn around and move to stand in front of her.

"Yes?" I cross my arms.

She closes her book and lowers her reading glasses, crossing her legs. She takes her sweet time doing this like we're at a fücking tea party and I huff irritated.

"I see things," she starts. "And I hope to dios what I'm seeing isn't true."

I roll my eyes. What is she, a psychic now?

"That girl that was over here, that was Krystal Parker was it not?"

She's asking me even though she already knows the answer. So she knew who Krystal was the whole time? Why did she pretend to not know then?

"Yeah," I shrug. "And?"

"She seems like a sweet girl."

Now I was starting to get impatient. Where was she going with this?

"What's your point?" I ask. I know it's out of line but I hate this bait and trap game she's playing. If she has something to say she should just spit it out.

"Her family is the richest in this town. Isn't she dating a young boy?"

It was amazing how everyone knew everyone's business. Amazing but creepy. Then again Krystal's family made their business known so I wasn't too surprised she knew this.

"You keep up with the town gossip? Who knew."

"Esto no es gracioso!" She snaps. "I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me nothing is going on between you."

I laugh. "Are you serious?"

She's seriously asking me this. Wtf?

"Dead serious. Because I know your habits with girls and-"

I cut her off. "I'm going to stop you right there. Wow, you know my habits? So you keep tabs on the gossip they spread about me too?"

"I want to know," she repeats.

This is all so ridiculous. I look her in the eyes.

"There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Krystal. We're just friends. And honestly we're not even that. All her friends and boyfriend are gone for the summer so we only hang out because she has no one else to hang out with. Happy?"

"You haven't done anything with her?" She asks. "Nothing inappropriate?"

"Of course not."

She sighs. "Ok good. "

"Your lack of faith in me is insulting," then I turn around and go up to my room.

It's been a long day and I need sleep.

Vote 🌟
Comment 💬
Share 👥

Xoxo,

G💋