The day of the premier is slowly approaching. I've been so busy with press interviews that it's been hard to make time for my friends. Max and I have been texting non-stop since I had dinner last week at his uncle's house. They made me feel right at home. He has also been busy, clocking in some extra hours at the shop.

Today, I'm taking a break from all the chaos surrounding the premier. We're all headed to Patty's for a small get-together.

I pull up to Rob's just after three. I'm a little late because I had one more virtual interview. Of course, Chase was on the call too. It felt easier to hold myself together. There was a moment where I almost choked up talking about our characters' romantic relationship, but then Max sent a text, and it was almost like a sign that better days are coming.

Monica opens the door when I arrive, greeting me with her radiant smile. She rests her hands at the base of her belly where a small bump is forming.

"Hey sweetheart," she says. "Max," she roars behind her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better than when you saw me last week," she laughs.

Last week during dinner she couldn't get through it without getting sick. She apologized numerous times for being a "terrible host".

"That's good."

"I got a picture of the little bugger this week, looks just like Rob already," she cackles.

"Women do all the work, and the kids still end up looking like their dads," I smile. "At least that's what my mom used to say."

"Poor kid will come out with a mustache," Max says from behind us.

"Oh, please no," Monica laughs.

We say our goodbyes to Monica and head out to my car. Max immediately takes my hand as we walk out.

By the time we get to Patty's everyone is hanging out by the pool relaxing. It's weird being here and not being the center of Dan's attention, but he's a little occupied now. He and Maya are strolling down the beach holding hands. I love that he's finally opening up to her.

"Do you see what I see?" I ask Max, nudging him.

His face lights up when he sees what I'm talking about.

"Those two have been very quiet all afternoon," Alexa says, taking the spot next to me. "As have you two, so what's the delio." Alexa shakes my shoulders.

"Did I not call you on the phone after my date?"

Max blushes.

"Yeah, but things seem, I don't know, a little more intense," she says, wiggling her brows.

Max rolls his eyes playfully. "I like your friend a lot." He pauses to look at me. "More than a lot actually," he whispers.

I start to lean in to kiss him when my phone goes off. With a groan, I reach back to grab it from my pocket. A soft gasp leaves my lips. Chase. Max leans over curious to see. He stiffens beside me. Our eyes meet, and between us in our own way, I'm asking if its okay to take the call. In between a trembling breath he nods.

My legs defy me, trembling a bit at the knee. The phone grows quiet as I reach a large rock. I need a few to collect myself, but Chase gives me no time as the phone buzzes in my hand again.

"Hey."

"Lennox, I'm coming to New York in two days, can we meet up?" he asks, bluntly.

"I really don't think that's a good idea."

"I'd re ­— really would like to talk. I — I've just got so much on my mind."

Chase only stutters when he's being real with me. The flirty Chase Dawson, the one who is a player, uses a low deep, sexy tone, that drives girls wild. He's not doing that right now and I hate that I actually care.

"Lennox, I know — I know I screwed a lot of things up between us."

"You think?" I question, my voice echoing down the beach. "Why bother to reach out now? I get that it was all an act for the public, but when we were just us, you were different. We shared things that were very personal. Hell, we even..."

I stop myself because if I think about what he took from me, even though I fully agreed to be intimate with him, it makes things hurt all over again. He made me think that he loved me. I admit that I did it because I thought once I gave myself to him that maybe he would care for me.

"I thought you genuinely liked me, because towards the end it felt so real..."

I get to my feet and pace around in the sand, allowing the sensation of it between my toes to calm me.

"It was—"

"No Chase, if it was something then I wouldn't have caught you with that girl!"

I'm pretty sure the whole beach heard me, even from this distance.

He sighs obnoxiously loud. If I could reach through the phone, I'd punch him.

"Maybe I did it because I was scared."

His calm, collective voice is confusing me. It's the voice that showed me how to stay calm during a panic attack, and what helped me deal with my insecurities with my acting.

"Scared of what?"

"Of being with someone as amazing as you," he says.

"Bullshit!"

I stop pacing and stand facing the water. Small waves come ashore. I try to tune out everything by listening to them.

"Loving you was never bullshit. I pushed you away as far as I could so I wouldn't hurt you."

"Are you even listening to yourself? You never loved me. If you had, you would have been with me, not those other girls."

A heaviness settles on my chest, making my throat feel as if it were closing.

"I don't do love, Lennox. That's not me. You know I have my reasons. I hashed it all out to you the night of the season four premier. So, it's not because I didn't love you, it's because I was afraid to love you. Dammit Lennox you know I have issues," he says.

I stomp my foot. "Don't you dare tell me that you love me after all this time. I can't hear that right now. It's too late."

Gasping for air, I drop to my knees in the sand and cover my face with my free hand.

"Lennox, breathe in."

How is it that his soothing voice is pulling me back in?

When I don't respond he says it again. "Lennox, come on, I hear you are on the verge of an attack, just listen to me."

I shake my head even though he can't see me. I haven't had one of these since before I left L.A.

"One," he says.

I inhale deeply because I can feel the buildup of pressure in my chest. I need relief, and I know for a fact his method works.

"You are amazing," he says in a gentle whisper.

I breathe in again.

"Two, you got this."

One more breath in and I'm already feeling a difference in the pressure.

"Three..."

"I have to go." Snapping out of it, I cut him off before he can continue.

"Okay, I'll see you for the live then?"

I don't say anything, I let the phone drop to the sand and just stare at it. It takes a whole thirty seconds before the phone beeps and the line goes dead. The hairs on my neck stand up. Peeking over my shoulder Max's eyes meet mine. His face pales.

"How much of that did you hear?" I ask, breathlessly.

"Enough." His tone falls flat.

I'm dying to reach out. I need him to see that Chase is in the past, but how can I show him when I'm breaking down over one phone call?

"Max I..."

He stares down at the sand and kicks a little with his bare foot. "Do you still love him?" he asks.

I shake my head so hard I get dizzy. "No, no, no, no."

Tears prick at my eyes, urging to be released.

"Lennox," his voice breaks.

He waits a few moments, then says my name again. When I don't respond he drops to his knees beside me and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I trust you."

He says it like he means it, but when my eyes meet his again, I can tell he's lying.