Written by user BrookeKuipers

I, like many, wonder why life exists. Am I here just because I was created? Do I have some purpose, some reason as to why I, specifically, am here? Is there some lesson to learn or some job I need to complete?

"Just tell me why..." I seethed, looking up. I wasn't quite sure who or what I was glaring at. There was no up, no down. No lefts or rights. There just was.

People would walk past going any direction, walking in any which way they desired. It was like some hazy illusion where we pretended to be but really we are not. Like a false reality. White; that's how I would describe it. Pure, fluorescent, translucent white. Like the fog you see floating on cold, early mornings as the sun is just starting to rise. One that sticks to your face and seeps through your lungs. But it doesn't make you cold. That's not because of the sun, because there really isn't any. Just somehow the white fog isn't cold nor hot.

Beyond that fog lies activity, a constant buzz of activity. People walking, running, driving, falling, crying, laughing; humans. The human world was so close, like it was almost possible to touch. At least, that's what it felt like. They felt mere millimeters away, but I knew that if I stretched out my arm I would not touch them - I still tried. Maybe that's how He wanted it to feel. Just like the illusion we had that we were close to humans we also had the illusion that we were close to Him.

Even though we were 'angels' we had no proof he exists; in that sense we were just like the Humans. They believe in Him, honour Him, pray for Him. Without any real proof He exists other than 'how could we exist without him?'. On the other hand Angels don't need to believe in Him. We know He is around, we know He exists somehow. Every now and then He will talk to one of us, give us a secret mission to complete to better His world; we just don't see Him. He's definitely there somewhere. Most of us believe that in the end he will leave and no one will know - he will be dead and gone but all of us will still live on expecting Him to be running the show from behind the scenes. Who knows, maybe He has already passed. There's no real evidence to prove otherwise.

"Complaining again Lucas?" A soft voice danced through the air just as a silhouette became visible in the white expanse.

"Uriah, did you need some guidance?"

Uriah's name meant 'God is my light'. He was called that because as a human he struggled and 'fell off the rails', as they say, quite a few times. God was the light that lead him to a better life before he died at a tender old age. My name means 'light, or to illuminate'. I don't really know why it means that - angels never know of or remember their own lives, but they can access another angels past 'human' memories. It became our little inside joke to pretend I was the light that guided him. Uriah just rolled his eyes and ignored me. Well, maybe it was my little inside joke. He never had a sense of humour.

Shrugging my shoulders I spread my legs out. It looked like I was laying down, but I was still vertical. In a way I guess we could influence the fog around us. It became hard beneath my back so I could lay down, but I was still facing Uriah as though I was standing. Yet if I wanted to I could, at a moments notice, soften the fog and fall through it. Uriah looked peeved to say the least but - like usual - he was no fun and calmed down. Just once, I would like to see an angel get angry - like Archangel Lucifer did. Though I wasn't around for that. "Were you complaining to Him again, Lucas?" He asked, remembering his first question.

"To whom, Uriah?" I sighed. Deep down I knew no good came from complaining, but He wasn't fact in my mind. The only reason I was ever given to believe he exists is that I am here. I exist because of Him. But... who created Him? Did he just begin to exist? And if so, why couldn't we just somehow begin to exist? Isn't our blind faith in the Lord the exact same as the humans? They have no proof and neither do we. The fact we exist is all that 'proves' He is real.

He sighed and folded his arms. Uriah had very average angel looks - though on earth he would be stunning to humans. Handsome, pale, blonde hair, blue eyes. The original 'pure' human. His hair was long though, unlike a lot of the short cut styles that angels seemed to like these past few decades. Uriah always tied it into a ponytail - which made him look more feminine - and always had one small plait going down the side. I believe the plait was a subconscious dedication to his human sister who died of a drug overdose. But that could just be me reading into everything like usual. We don't see her around, seeing as she went to Lucifer's side. Unlike Uriah, she never found the light.

"You know who." He stated, staring into my eyes intently. I said nothing; as if I didn't know who he meant. "Him."

"I never complain - I merely enquire."

Uriah rolled his eyes once again before moving his wings slightly. We fell silent as we looked out at the human world. There was a man on a bridge that we both noticed. He was swaying side to side, slowly clambering his way over the fence. He was going to jump. Uriah and I watched in mild fascination and grotesque entertainment as he jumped.

There was nothing we could do. There never is. An angel flew by a couple of seconds later, no doubt to go retrieve his pure soul before a demon made off with it. Sometimes people were destined to become angels, but demons got to them first. It didn't happen very often, but when it did it was horrific. An angel in hell gets the absolute worst treatment - as one could imagine. They never reincarnate. It's like the souls just slowly fade away.

"Do you ever wonder why humans are like that?" Uriah asked, looking back to me with grief in his eyes. "They have the world at their feet, nature and sunlight. They can go to space, go underwater - they even managed to fly. Why, now, do so many humans want to die? Why do they suffer so?"

It was a question I never expected to get asked - normally I'm the one asking questions. I certainly didn't expect it from Uriah of all angels. He blindly and maybe naively believed in Him and His world. All that He had created. Uriah believed it all happened for a reason. So, for him to ask this questions means he must want some reassurance. Reassurance that He is correct, He is just. That things do happen for a reason.

I couldn't give that to him.

"Does that look like a fulfilling life for the average human?" I asked Uriah. I pointed, making him watch, look, understand.

Humans were expected to grow up, go to school, choose a career and (if they don't go bankrupt from debt first) stay there until they can retire. The higher depression and suicide rates could be related to population density, competitive job markets and their economies making simple life harder and more expensive. There's really no way to tell why.

I guess back in the 'good old days' more people died from wild animals and basic diseases. Survival was the key - it was why they lived each day and hunted for food. The ways to die are less drastic, life goes on, you go to work then head home. No wild tiger is going to break into your camp and attack your 'tribe'. Uriah just sighed, his proud wings drooping slightly as he watched.

"I wish I could know why."He stated before turning around and slowly heading off. He gave a small wave before disappearing into the fog.

"Don't we all," I mumbled, looking out at the human world, "Don't we all."