Written by user stpolishook

Fiona

There is no delaying the inevitable. It was an age-old truth she knew well, and yet somehow she'd begun to believe that this day would never arrive. That she could keep her secret forever. But Fiona had made a decision and now she would have to face the consequences, whatever they might be. It was cold on the hill top, the westernmost ridge overlooking Gregorn town proper, and she kept her hood drawn to shield herself from the gusts of wind that had followed her along her journey to the Assembly. The large brim of her cloak hid her face in shadow but she knew there was no disguising her identity. Staff in hand, clothed in the shades of blue and gray reserved for one who held the sacred title of Nita, even from a distance, none could fail to recognize her station.

Nowhere to hide.

From this vantage the town stretched before her, surrounded by a dull yellow-green grassy expanse of hills. The houses below were small. The stores, the same. The market center, the clock tower, all so small from above. And the Meetinghouse. Fiona could see it clearly, lying just beyond the border of the main town. She could see the figures gathering around it. From the hilltop they appeared as little more than tiny specks, yet the sight of them filled her with dread. Dread that churned her stomach, and pounded in her head. The judgment of these specks. Would they condemn her? Could they condemn her?

They will see you burn.

Those words had run through Fiona's mind for months now, flitting in and out of her daily thoughts. She had tried to banish the unwelcome, overzealous, judgments of her subconscious, but they always returned. As the scheduled Assembly drew nearer, the thoughts became more frequent, relentless. Now, staring at the Council representatives gathered from across the Empire, they grew so loud as to nearly drown all else.

You will suffer for your betrayal.

The Meetinghouse was nothing special to look at. It was large, at least compared to the average structure in Gregorn, but otherwise unremarkable. Built of plain cedar wood the unadorned structure was often used for town gatherings, making it more than spacious enough to accommodate the thirty-seven delegates that made up the Elder Council as well as three Initiate representatives from the cloisters of Sithrah. The requirements for a full assembly of Senmin leadership. Each of the thirty-seven were men elected in Senmin communities throughout the Empire to provide governance to the areas within their jurisdiction. These men were charged as representatives for their people, and responsible for collectively keeping the Senmin united throughout the holy Kanjin Empire of Erestia.

Though the building appeared aged and weathered, it was not very old. The Meetinghouse had been erected less than one hundred years ago, at the inception of the Elder Council, after the betrayal of Nita Astar Tansy had compromised the power of the Senmin's matriarchal leadership and forever stained the position of Nita.

And your betrayal will further desecrate the office.

When the hall was built, it was decided that it would be erected in Gregorn, the traditional home of the Nita. Although the highest-ranking members of the Elder Council resided in the neighboring town of Cainell, the placement of the building was nonetheless purposeful. The Meetinghouse was meant to serve as a reminder to those granted the title of Nita. A reminder to remember their place amongst the leadership of their people. A reminder that the Council would always be watching.

A wind picked up from the west, sweeping across the dry grass around her, the blades swaying like waves in a partially frozen sea of desolation. Fiona felt the damp chill travel along her exposed skin and she shivered. She wrapped her cloak more tightly around her body and took a deep gulp of cold air, forcing her feet to carry her towards the large crowd of councilmen. There was nothing to do now but have faith that the Council could be reasonable. That they would hear her words before jumping to conclusions. "You are no coward," Fiona reminded herself. "You are the leader of the Senmin people, and they will hear you."

As she drew nearer to the hall, Fiona could almost feel the eyes of those assembled turn in their sockets, craning to watch her approach without conspicuously moving to turn their heads. In the presence of their stares, the condemnatory voices of her subconscious raged all the more.

They know.

Of course, the idea was outrageous. They could not know the thing she was hiding. She had not seen most of these men for well over three months. While some had been present at the last Assembly of the General Council in mid-winter, there were a number of representatives who had been unable to make the journey after the main trade roads in the north froze over. Councilmen journeying from the south had faced similar impediments in their travels, not to mention the increased presence of Empire sanctioned checkpoints the King had established on all major trade and travel routes in attempts to quell the rebel faction throughout Erestia that refused to disband. Those who had not seen her in almost a year or longer could not possibly guess her secret. Still the thought would not quiet.

Fiona worked to keep her hands from fiddling further with her cloak. Such action would only draw more attention. She could feel the mix of friendly smiles and acrid stares reaching towards her as the casual conversations that preceded all meetings of the General Assembly grew hushed at her approach. Fiona was keenly aware of the uneasy curiosity surrounding her leadership.

Though it had been nearly two years now since Fiona Amoral had taken up the position of acting Nita, her appointment and subsequent actions, had been greeted with mixed reception from the members of the Council of Elders. Fiona was a sharp contrast to her mild-mannered predecessor and teacher Manna Sayers. Though most of the Council had learned to accept Fiona's more direct and, occasionally, abrasive mannerisms, there were still some she knew resented her outspoken nature. Walking through the throng of councilmen still gathered outside of the hall, Fiona felt her chest tighten, her words of greeting choked as she nodded and attempted to engage in the obligatory, meaningless chatter that everyone expected, trying to simultaneously discern how many of the faces she passed, belonged to those she counted as friends.

"Nita Amoral."

Fiona felt an uncomfortable tingling sensation run through her body as she watched him approach.

Avery Trenton.

Of all those whose judgment she feared facing today, Avery Trenton was the one man she feared most. As head of both the Cainell and General Council, Avery was the most influential of Senmin representatives aside from Fiona herself. The Trenton family had controlled the Elder Council for years, successively elected as Council Heads for three generations running. As for Avery, there was no question of his strength among the Senmin. Having held his position for more than fifteen years now, he was popular with most and immensely respected by all.

As Avery inclined his head slightly in a perfunctory sign of respect, she did the same, trying her best to remain calm. Though not especially perceptive to her mind, Fiona could not risk his sensing that anything was amiss. Not yet.

"Council Leader Trenton," Fiona said, " I trust that most of our representatives have already assembled?"

"Indeed," he said. " We should soon begin."

"Of course," she said, hoping that the catch in her voice was not audible. "Has Manna already arrived?"

"I have not yet seen the Elder Nita," he replied. "But I presume she will be here shortly. She is always punctual, and the meeting is set to begin within the hour." His tone was cold, as it always was when he spoke to her, as if her company outside of their obligatory professional relationship was something entirely distasteful. The feeling was mutual. Fiona respected Avery as a leader, but cared little for him as a man.

To her mind, Avery's general attitude towards the Nita and the priestesses of the Initiate was decidedly hostile. Though Manna had always denied it, Fiona felt as if the Council Leader's distrust of women, colored his ability to work with the female leadership of their people. It was often difficult for her to maintain her temper in the presence of the man she deemed to be in constant judgment of both her, and her sex as a whole. He was perpetually patronizing in all of their dealings in spite of the fact that Fiona was, by written law, the highest authority among their people. Though Fiona did her best to act civilly towards the Council Leader, she knew her frustration often shone through her attempts.

"If you do see your teacher, please tell her to find me," Avery said. "I have a few matters I wish to discuss with her before we begin the Assembly."

"Perhaps you would share them with me," Fiona replied, feeling the heat of anger rise on her skin, momentarily replacing her fear. "Manna may not come for a time still, and surely any matters of importance are mine to know as well." While she knew Avery would always prefer to work with her predecessor, Fiona was resentful that he could not accept the fact that Manna had already bequeathed her position. She was Nita now, and there was nothing the Council Leader should wish to share with Manna and keep from Fiona herself.

Avery gave her a condescending smile. "Of course, Nita Amoral," he answered. "If there was anything I believed necessary to share with the you I would. I seek Manna's opinion on a personal matter that has nothing to do with the Assembly."

Fiona bit her inner lip to keep her mouth closed. There was no use arguing, and she didn't need to bait him just before the meeting.

"If you'll excuse me," he said. With a nod, he turned and walked towards the Meetinghouse. As she watched him go, Fiona wondered if her plan was entirely futile. It had been her hope that withholding her controversial announcement until the spring Assembly would provide the potential for a larger array of allies in the face of her unexpected news, that there was a chance the announcement would find better reception here than it might have if revealed to the Cainell Council alone. The seven of Cainell belonged to Avery implicitly. But speaking with the Council Leader, Fiona's confidence wavered. In spite of the larger audience she would have here today, her announcement would likely void any goodwill she may have garnered from her supporters in the past. Avery Trenton would see to that.

"Nita Amoral!"

Fiona turned as a large heft of a man came towards her, his round, well-lined face stretched wide in an amiable smile.

"Felix," she replied, forcing her nerves down to imitate his jovial tone. Felix Damworth was one of the four representatives from the far north. Given the long journey, it was not uncommon for him to attend only one Council meeting per year, though even that was now difficult given his age. Still, Fiona knew the councilman well, having spent a winter in the northern territories as a child, and was genuinely glad to see him.

He too will condemn you.

She shook off the thought as Felix removed his hat and bowed his head. Fiona smiled as his eyes met hers again.

"It has been far too long my friend," she said.

"Indeed," he agreed, nodding his great grey head up and down. " Winter was brutal in the north. Damn weather closed off all the roads past Bridgehorn for months. Not to mention the problems caused by those rebel scum. The so-called 'Vox Populi.' Of course those bastards have everyone up my way a bit jumpy, but the added checkpoints and guardsmen they have brought in their wake have made travel nearly impossible."

Fiona fought to hide her emotions at the mention of the rebel troops. She had once been drawn to the idea of a revolution that might unseat the King who so despised the Senmin. She had believed that if she and her people were to offer support of the rebellion, the Vox Populi's success could offer the Senmin a chance to regain their standing in society. She had been wrong to harbor such hopes. After the events of the past year, the mere mention of the rebels filled her with a mixture of anger, bitter resentment, and fear.

Felix must have noticed a change in Fiona's expression as he spoke. His bushy grey eyebrows knit in concern as he stopped mid-sentence and lowered his gaze in embarrassment.

"Forgive me your Grace," he said. "For my language and informality." Fiona shook her head and smiled kindly.

"No need for forgiveness, Councilor," she said. "I believe your words quite accurately describe both the unfortunate weather we have experienced this past winter, as well as my own sentiment towards the presumptuous rebel faction who dare call themselves 'The Voice of The People.' I grieve for those affected by the unfortunate violence incited by the insurgents and the long winter that brought so much suffering to the Empire. I hope none in your village were too badly afflicted in either case." Felix's face took on a more sober note.

"I can't say that it has been easy," he answered. "The harvest last year was poor, and with food-stores low, it was difficult for many to feed their families. Of course the malnourished are more susceptible to the winter illnesses that plagued all of Erestia. I did the best I could for the people in my district, but the sickness still managed to take many." He sighed deeply and shook his head.

Fiona nodded and placed upon her face the correct response of concern and sympathy. It was common for the Council representatives to lay their sorrows upon her, as if her magiks might heal their woes, as if her purported connection with the God might save them somehow. But it was not within her power to ease even her own troubles. It was no secret that the burden of the Senmin's suffering had grown all the more heavy since hunger, illness, and violence had settled so comfortably across the Empire. Now she stood poised to add one more betrayal to the lengthy list of difficulties that the Senmin would have to face.

And for this they will destroy you.

"King Fredrick has taken everything from us," Felix said. She could hear the crack in his voice. The sorrow and frustration. Fiona reached out and put a hand on the man's broad shoulder.

"Our people face great hardship," she replied, forcing her own fears aside to address his. "We mustn't lose hope. The Senmin have weathered hard times before, and we will persevere." He smiled at her, seemingly comforted by her words.

"Indeed, Nita Amoral," he said.

"I'm certain the reports we shall hear in the Assembly will mimic your own, but stores of grain in Gregorn and Cainell remain stable. With the spring thaw, I'm certain we will be able to send your people more aid. As for the illness that spread this winter, there are a few among the Initiate who have found a remedy that has greatly reduced the mortality rate of their patients. I will send some with you, along with a list of the proper herbs, and instructions for treatment to distribute to any healers within your district."

Fiona saw Felix's face brighten considerably and felt a piece of her own anxiety fall away. She could change things. She could help people. This was her role. This was why they could not condemn her. She was the Nita, and she had done nothing wrong.

You know what you have done.

"It is our duty as leaders among the Senmin to keep our spirits high. The Lord God above will not abandon us," Fiona said, ignoring the condemnatory thought. Felix nodded his head once.

"Thank you," he said. "Such aid will help our people in the north greatly. And of course you are right. We must keep our spirits. The Senmin are strong and will survive as we have always done. Still, I am grateful to once again join in the presence of others who must also bear the burden of leadership in these troubled times."

"Fiona,"

Fiona turned at the familiar voice. With little more than five feet to her name, Manna Sayers was not a large woman, yet the essence of power that surrounded her was more than enough to make even the largest, strongest of men feel small in her presence. Felix immediately dropped his gaze, and as Fiona bent her head in deference to her teacher, the councilman bowed low.

"Elder Nita Sayers," he said, "It is an honor."

"Councilor Damworth," Manna replied as the man rose. " I am so glad to see you once again returned to Gregorn. It has been well over a year has it not?"

"It has your Grace."

Manna smiled. "I hope the journey was not too taxing."

"For, my old bones you mean?" he answered with a wry grin.

"I said nothing of the sort." Manna replied with a small laugh. "Given your youthful appearance I should not have even asked the question." She cast a mischievous glance toward Damworth's bulging midsection and the man laughed heartily.

"Don't know that there's much youthful shape left in this body," he said slapping his hand against his stomach, "but I can still take care of myself."

"I don't doubt it," Manna answered. "Excuse my interruption," she said turning, to address Fiona as her smile faded. "I believe we should proceed inside. Avery is no doubt anxious for our presence so that we may begin the meeting."

Fiona nodded. With the momentary distraction of the conversation gone, she could once again feel the knot in her stomach. It seemed to have grown to the size of a large stone. She felt heavy with the weight of it.

"Forgive us, Felix." Manna said.

"Not at all, your Grace," he answered, bowing his head to each woman in turn.

"We shall catch up after the Assembly," Manna said.

"I would be honored," he replied.

Fiona felt her skin prickling at his answer. After the meeting, she feared Felix would have no words for her any more. She wondered if any would. For a moment she saw a vision of the man's smiling eyes turned to angry slits, filled with hatred. She imagined the kind mouth flattened in a razor line of contempt. She imagined an entire room of men with such stares. But when Fiona blinked, she found Felix's face returned to normal, his round face still grinning. With a final nod of his head the man turned and walked to join another group of Council representatives who welcomed him into their ranks with a jovial roar of laughter and pats on the back.

"Come," Manna said, once again pulling Fiona's focus.

The two women walked towards the hall, the younger dragging behind slightly. As they passed, the men still lingering outside parted to provide them passage, each lowering their heads towards the sacred women.

"Did Avery find you?" Fiona asked as they walked in tandem, attempting to casually break the uncomfortable silence. "He told me there were some matters he wished to discuss with you."

Manna nodded.

"Anything important?"

Manna shook her head, but did not elaborate.

"And he is already inside?"

Another nod.

"It has been some time since you last came to visit me," Manna said.

Fiona's heart beat unsteadily. Though Manna's eyes remained focused ahead, she could feel her teacher's probing gaze upon her.

"Forgive me," Fiona replied quickly. "I have been busy, but it was wrong of me to stay away for so long."

Manna nodded almost imperceptibly, not asking for further explanation. Fiona was filled with a crushing sense of guilt. But she had already made her decision. It would make no difference to reveal her secret now. Manna would know soon enough. They all would. The thought was far from comforting.

As they entered the hall Fiona was struck by the musky sent of cedar and wool and sweat. It seemed someone had deemed the weather cold enough to light the hearth at the front of the hall, and the warmth of the fire mixed with that of the bodies now occupying the room, had created an almost cloying heat. The added weight of her heavy cloak only added to the effect. Fiona felt dizzy.

She could see that most of the men were already seated in their respective positions. With a respectable showing of councilmen the hall felt more crowded than it should, even for a General Assembly. All stood as she and Manna walked past them. Fiona's eyes scanned the various faces, taking stock of her audience. Towards the front of the hall, to the right of the raised stage from which the most senior and powerful conducted the meeting, Fiona saw the group of three women dressed in similar clothing and colors to those which she and Manna both wore. These were the required Initiate representatives from Sithrah. Fiona was dismayed to see that none of the women were sisters she could immediately identify. Manna must have seen where her gaze fell.

"There is word that the High Priestess has been ill these past weeks and was unable to complete the journey in time for the Assembly," Manna said. "It seems she has sent some of the most recent inductees of the upper order to attend in her stead."

Again, Fiona searched the women's faces for at least one who she might find familiar. Indeed, Manna seemed to have correctly judged their status. Though they appeared not much older than Fiona herself, all prominently displayed the crest upon their clothing denoting their assentation to the upper ranks of the Order of Sithrah. Fiona regretted that she had kept herself so long from the home of the Initiate. She had not returned since her official ordination over a year prior, and even then, had not stayed long. It was common for the elder members of the Initiate to forgo traveling to Gregorn and the assemblies of the Greater Council. If Fiona had visited the Sithrah cloisters with more frequency, she might have the advantage of knowing better the representatives that attended the meeting today. Of course there had been other things occupying her time, keeping her from making the long journey, but now Fiona wished she had made it a priority.

The women curtsied deeply as Fiona passed, and she nodded her head to them, though inside she released a deep sigh of regret. There was nothing to be done for it now. She could only hope they would hold their allegiance towards her as Initiate's only true representative among the Council of Elders. Even if Fiona did not know them personally, the women of Sithrah were all instilled with a great respect for the elders of the Initiate, most of all the Nita. Perhaps that would be enough.

Though Avery Trenton was already stationed in his seat on the stage he stood, along with the others in the room, as Manna and Fiona climbed the steps. The Elder Nita found her place next to the Council Leader as Fiona walked to her own seat on the other side of the podium. As the final representatives filed into the hall, Fiona's heart pounded furiously.

"If all are present," Avery said, stepping to the center of the dais, "I will call this meeting of the Great Assembly to order. "

The men throughout the hall bowed their heads once in acknowledgment before taking their seats. Across from her, Manna removed her cloak and did the same. But Fiona remained standing, unmoving, feeling the innumerable eyes of the councilmen focused upon her. Slowly, mechanically, her hands rose, unlocking the clasp at her throat and allowing the cloth of her dark blue cloak to fall away, revealing a full rounded swell of a stomach. The collective intake of breath was audible as all stared in shock.