Written by user Winchesters_united

Mommy

Lup dub! Lup dub! Lup dub! It sounds so steady, so alive. Upon hearing it, anyone would believe it to be the heartbeat of a healthy human being. Then, comes the context: the freezing cold hospital room, the hospital gown covering the sound's host, the machine illustrating the rhythm while projecting it around the room for everyone to hear, and the handsome man sitting by the bed with his eyes and muscles straining with fatigue while he holds my unmoving hands.

I'm not healthy at all, in fact I'm in the bridge of death. The doctors say it's a miracle that my heart still beats on its own. They say I shouldn't be having any brain electricity left. I should have been rotting underground by now. I'm a human mystery. Aren't we all?

It's not like I can be any other way. I have to keep fighting. I have to stay alive. If not for me, for them – my two loving boys. My husband, Joseph, won't survive if I give up now. I have to keep my body strong until that second heartbeat doesn't need it anymore.

My baby, my sweet darling baby. I won't be here for you. I'm not going to watch you grow, make mistakes, fall in love, and live your life. I won't be here but your daddy will. He'll teach you all the things he taught me. He'll protect you like he protected me. It's not his fault I'm here. He has done everything in his power to keep me alive. I'll miss him when I'm gone. I'll miss our story, our love.

I can't believe it's already been five years since he cursed me out. Yes, that was his way of saying I'm into you.

I was going to wait till you're older to tell you the story but the way things are developing you might grow up never knowing my side. Your daddy always skip over the good stuff when he's the one telling it. We don't have a lot of times left together so I'll hurry up.

It all started with a shopping trip on my first day at FU (Don't get ideas, it's Florida's university). My parents were a little skeptical about letting me attend a university with a very unfortunate initial but I'm their princess so they're obligated to make me happy. Therefore, they stayed in Utah while I road-tripped with my best friend, Carmen Delangelo, to the sunshine state.

With wind blowing on our hair, Flo Rida blasting on the radio, and our cat-shrieking voice in the air, the car sped down the highway. It took us exactly one week to reach the campus. We checked in, threw our baggage in the tiny dorm, and hopped back in the car towards the nearest mall.

Off campus, Naples seemed so dead. There was barely anyone on the streets. Rows of tress and their overgrown branches marked the entire town. There were few stores and those seemed deserted. We stopped at a red light, watching a single Toyota cross the road.

"I'm disappointed in Florida," Carmen pouted.

"Yeah, me too," I agreed. "Where are the hot, shirtless guys?"

The green light came back on.

"I told you we should have gone to UF," I brushed a strand of long brown hair out of the corner of my mouth.

"It would have been nice not to go to a school which sounds like I'm cursing someone out every time I say it out loud."

"I thought it would be so fetch," she pushed her hair back.

"This is real life, Carmen, not Mean Girls."

We passed by a beer belly man in tights, jogging along the pavement. Thank you Florida for crushing my joy.

"Ughh, can you stop whining?" She said as we pulled up in the mall's parking lot. "We've made a decision so we're going to make the best of it. Do you really want to go back to Utah to submit to your parents' tyranny?"

"No, you're right."

We slipped our Gucci sunglasses on top of our hair. With our slender bodies, long brown hair, and oval shaped face looked so much alike.

"Great, now let's go get our new fall wardrobe."

We got out of the car, giggling. The security guards standing by the door did a double-take. Carmen and I wore the same outfit – high-waisted shorts, tank top, and converse shoes. The only thing that differentiated us was the colors.

We had loved to dress alike. It messed people up and irritated my mother. She didn't like Carmen. To her, she was the demon Satan had sent to drag me to hell.

The mall was so small, barely half the size of the one back home.

"OMG," Carmen shouted in the middle of a clothing store. "This outfit is perfect for our first frat party."

She dangled a tight blue jumpsuit with a bare back, its collar slitting down to a few inches above the bellybutton. Not really my taste but I've learned to dim my voice to a minimum when it comes to fashion. Carmen is so much better at it than me.

"Totally," I mimicked her tone.

And that was all I knew about the subject until I was hauled in a frat house on the following Friday. The last weekend before classes officially start.

Carmen had left me to have fun as soon as we got in. I was used to it, she did it at every party. Usually, I'll find a corner to sip from the cup of sprite that I said was liquor to everyone that came by. Sometimes, some guy would take my hands for a couple of dances. We'd talk for a while before it was jammed into their brain that they weren't getting lucky with me and they left.

Then, I'd wait some more. I'd wait until a drunken Carmen find me so I can sneak her home unnoticed. Or she'd text me around midnight that I needed to look for a ride home because she'd used the car to drive to some guy's house. Some guy she was going to be pinning over until the next party.

Usually, that was the expected scenarios. However, That night was different because as soon as I sat down, he came. He sat beside me without acknowledging my presence. I continued to sip my soda while watching him from the corner of my eyes. He was so hot, black T-shirt picking out under a heavy grey jacket, clinging to his muscles like a second skin, his long legs stretching out under light blue jeans, and his low shaved head resting on the back of the couch.

Thank you Florida for reviving me.

I squirmed uncomfortably, trying to cool my body down. As if the bodies juggling on the dance floor hadn't raised the temperature high enough, that boy had to come here and add his body heat to the mix.

"Hey," I said with what I believed to be a dazzling smile.

He merely raised his cup then went back to ignoring me.

Jerk. But such a handsome one. I got in a tranced watching a bead of sweat rolling down his soft brown, passed his collarbone, and down into the shirt.

"You might want to take your jacket off if you don't want to pass out from hyperthermia."

He finally looked at me, his dark Hershey's colored iris pinned me down. I swallowed pass my dry throat, tightening my hold on the cup to prevent its fall.

Then his words broke the charm, "You might want to stop talking if you want to keep your pretty face."

The color drained my face and the cup fell on the floor, wetting the tiles.

Is he going to kill me? Is that a threat?

"I don't think Derek likes when people dirty his house," he said looking at the mess I made.

What did I get myself into?

"Please, don't kill me," I pleaded with him.

My knees were almost on the floor.

"Whoa, whoa," he jerked up, his hands coming to my shoulders. "I was kidding. It was a joke, okay? Nobody is going to harm you?"

"What?" Furry quickly took over my fear. "That's your idea of a joke?"

He shrugged carelessly, "It was kind of funny. You should have seen the look on your face."

He laughed, he actually laughed at my face.

"You bastard," I hit his shoulders. "You stupid bastard."

My hands hit every part of his body that they could reach. Seconds later, they were on fire. My poor little fingers looked like I was skinned alive. They stung like I just hit a brick wall with them. To be fair, his chest could have been one. I thought my fingers might have been broken.

"Ouch, I said I was joking. I'm sorry," he caught my hands pretty easily. "Stop acting like some spoiled rich girl."

I knew I was acting spoiled, I think that was what made it hurt. I wanted to have the perfect first impression to everyone – even to this hot jerk. The fact that he saw me as this flawed girl already made me want to run and crawl into a corner.

I slapped him to maintain some ounce of dignity, "Jerk." Then, I half jogged, half walked out of that house.

In front of the house, a drunk girl was pouring her guts out in a trash can. There was a couple having some hot making out session on the wood of my car. I had to almost run them over before they took the hint to move it somewhere else.

I knew I was forgetting something, the drive back to the dorm was terrifyingly quiet. It wasn't until I was in my pajamas, in bed, thinking about handsome, that I remembered Carmen.

She's going to be pissed, I thought.

She already was because when I took my phone to call her, she had already called more than ten times and left five angry messages to tell me how much terrible of a friend I was. I've never forgot about her before.

I quickly changed into skinny jeans and a shirt to go get her.

The party was still going strong when I got there. Eminem was going at it in the background as the almost dead drunk students stumbled into the dance floor, or vomited in the first thing their hands fell on.

I searched the perimeters. At first, I thought it was to find Carmen then, my heart went haywire when I saw the shadow of a tall boy with a grey jacket by the kitchen. My feet moved towards him without my permission but Carmen stopped me from making a fool of myself.

"Where were you?" She slurred. The toxic aroma made me gag. "You were supposed to stay in one place so I can find you."

I wrapped my arms around her to steady her movements, "I'm sorry. Something happened, I had to leave."

"It was a boy, wasn't it?" she whispered in my ears, her head laid on mine for support. "You left me for a boy."

Like you've done so many times, I thought but I didn't tell her. She'd be worst then she was right now.

"No, it wasn't a boy," I lied. "Let's get you home."

I stumbled over the car, my grip on her falling of every seconds. At one point, she almost busted her head open on the pavement.

Nevertheless, I managed to get her in the car. Then sneaked her unnoticed in the dorm because we'd probably get kicked out for underage drinking.

She slept half of Saturday then gave me the silence treatment for the rest of the weekend. Anything and everything irritated her so I had to tiptoe around her. Then, Monday came. I had early classes while her first class didn't start until after noon.

That was our friendship, I was an early bird while she was a night owl, I loved reading Jane Austen and watching the sunset while she devoured erotic novels and wild parties.

We were ying and yang but we lived in harmony like nature...when she was in the mood.

The campus was vibrating with life when I left the dorm. Students with books in hand and backpack on their back walked with determination, ready to learn. Most of them had a cup of Starbucks to accessorize their sleepy state. Meanwhile, the sun had yet to wake up. Crickets were filling the air with their noises, the breeze brought by the dawn was tickling my skin as the trees lightly swayed along.

My first class as a college freshmen was MAC1140 (trigonometry). I was confident and ready to learn in my ocean blue sundress and black flats. I pulled open the heavy blue door with the inscription G1019.

The freezing cold of the artificial air in the room was the first thing to hit me. Then, I was welcomed by a set of Hershey brown eyes. He smiled shyly at me and invited me to take the empty seat next to him. I declined the invitation by pulling out the chair nearest to the teacher.

I sat down then pulled out my notebook, my pens, my pencils, my TI 84 calculator, and my calendar. I waited patiently for the teacher to come. Most of the students were yet to arrive so I was going to wait a long time.

A movement in my peripheral vision caught my attention.

"Hey, white girl," he said as he dropped his notebook and pencil on the desk.

"Hi, African American boy I wish would go away," I greeted with my eyes on the board. My body stayed focused up front, a hint for him to leave me alone.

"You know you can say black, right?" He laughed. "It's just a color. It's not racist."

"I know."

He turned his entire body towards me, giving me his full attention. "So, what's your name?"

"What's yours?"

"I asked first," he argued.

"You found me here."

"Would you feel better if I apologize for last night?" He asked, a little bit hopeful.

"I don't need your stupid apologies," I crossed my arms over my chest.

I wanted to look at him, get lost in his eyes, and touch that soft skin peeking out above his buttoned down shirt.

"Look..."

"Good morning everyone," a skinny old man interrupted him. "I hope everyone's ready to learn because I'm ready to teach."

I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. Now, he'll have to stay quiet.

He turned around, facing the teacher but then he did something so unexpected before he opened his notebook. He calmly patted my hair. I froze with my hands almost touching my pencil and notebook.

I saw him return to his notebook like he hadn't done something completely unorthodox. I spent half an hour into a daze, waiting for him to turn my way and explain. He never did, I had to draw myself out and focused on the subject being taught. When I did manage to focus, most of the two boards were full of notes I had to jot down as fast as possible.

I had to write twice as fast as everyone and sharpen my listening skills in order to catch up. When the teacher walked out of the class, I was not even halfway there to understand the unit circle.

"Are you coming or not?" He shook me lightly.

I lifted my eyes to find only us in the large lecture room.

"Oh," I said before closing me notebook and put everything back into my backpack.

"Do you need me to carry that for you?" He suggested. He was only carrying the one pencil and notebook. "My next class is in two more hours," he explained when he saw me looking questioningly at his school supplies.

"Good for you," I sidestepped him. "Mine is in twenty minutes so bye."

"Let me walk you," he followed me.

"No, thank you."

"Come on," he twirled me around to face him. Those glowing eyes, those full lips. How haven't I melted yet? "I want to try to make up for Friday night. I'm usually not that guy you saw."

"Could have fooled me," I snapped. "Just leave me the hell alone."

I turned around but he quickly came up to my face.

"Seriously, give me another chance. That was some stupid advice I took that night. I'm just that bad at flirting."

"That was flirting?" I asked, bemused.

"Yes, my friend gave me that advice. You know how most girls usually fall for the bad boy. I was supposed to be the bad boy so you could be falling all over me."

"That's disturbing. Not all girls have an idiotic brain that allows them to fall for a guy who treats them badly."

"I know that now so...Can I have that second chance? I'll keep following you around like a sick puppy if you don't."

I smiled at him, "I'm Irene."

He took my hand and kissed it tenderly, "Joseph at your service dear Irene."

"I like the name Joseph."

"I'm glad to be named Joseph so you can like it but my friends call me Joe. You can call me Joe too, if you want."

"Nah, I like Joseph."

"Can I carry your backpack now?"

"Sure," I took off the straps from my shoulders, "it's heavy though."