Written by user ksstories

Calum's POV:

Everything sucks. It sucks being depressed, it sucks hating everything, it sucks not having a reason to be alive. It just sucks.

"Can I come in?" I hear my mother ask. She must have knocked; I was just not paying attention. I try to ignore her as I lay back on my bed, but she walks in anyway and looks at me with sadness written all over her. She looks tired with her messy hair and clothes, and I'm the only one to blame for that. I know it, she knows it, but I also know that she will never admit it.

"Calum, you can't continue like this. You don't do anything, you just sit around in your room all day, you barely eat, you barely drink, you barely move for god's sake!" she says, throwing her arms up in the air to show her frustration. I just look up at the white ceiling. I don't want to do this right now. She waits a few seconds to see if I have anything to say, but I remain quiet.

"You're going to stay at your Aunt Carol's house for a while," she says after a couple of seconds. Aunt Carol? Doesn't she live in Norland or something?

"She lives in Norway, but you already know that," she continues. Oh right, Norway...

"It'll be good for you to get some time away from here, get a break. You need it," she says quietly.

"What I need is for you to leave me alone and let me handle this myself," I say and clench my jaw. I don't want to be so mean to her, but it's like a defense mechanism that just won't turn off anymore...

"Calum, I've already tried that and it's obviously not working! You will go to your Aunt, you will start seeing a therapist, and that's the end of the discussion!" she nearly yells, tears filling up her eyes.

"I don't need help! I can get better by myself!" I answer equally as loud while I sit up, anger bubbling up inside me.

"In order to get better you actually have to try Calum, and you sure as h.ell aren't trying now! So maybe you just need to get away, meet some new people, and just try living again..." she says as tears roll down her cheeks. With that sentence, all of my anger is replaced by a strong feeling of sadness and despair. Exactly what is she trying to do here? Make me even more depressed?

"I'm not going," I just say again and lay back down, looking right into the plain, white wall next to me this time. No way in h.ell if I'm going to move, even if it's just temporarily. I'm not going anywhere, and she just has to deal with it.

~~~

"Calum!" Aunt Carol smiles as she sees me in the airport. She quickly walks over and smothers me with a hug. I can't believe my mother actually forced me to come here. I went out to buy some cigarettes and returned to find a packed suitcase and a one-way plane ticket to Norway. She drove me to the airport and threatened to call the freaking security if I didn't get on the plane. In the end, she actually got one of the workers to keep an eye on me to make sure that I didn't run away or something. Thanks for the trust and support mom.

"Hey," I say quietly and hug her back lightly. She has changed since I saw her the last time. Her hair that was once brown is now dyed blonde, and she's older. That doesn't mean that she looks worse, though. She's a very attractive woman for her age, she always has been.

"How are you doing honey?" she smiles. Even though she lives in Norway, her English is still fluent. She has only been living here for around five years. She used to live right next to us in Sydney, but then she moved here because of her job. She's a nurse, and she moved here because there were more jobs available here or something, I don't know.

"Good, I guess. I'm tired," I mumble and shrug.

"Are you hungry? We could get something to eat before we go home?" she offers, referring to her house as if it is my home too. But nowhere feels like home anymore. I haven't felt as if I'm home in months. It has been five consecutive months without a place that feels like home, and even though it made me sad in the beginning, I don't even care anymore. I don't care about anything really. I just sit on my bed and listen to music to shut the world out, and that's it. Sometimes I eat, shower and use the toilet, but besides from that I don't do anything. Or, well, sometimes I smoke too, but yeah... I can see why my mother needed a break from me. I'm tired of me, and I'm me. I would have sent me away too if I had the opportunity.

"Calum?" I hear my aunt say. I must have zoned out, I do that sometimes.

"Yeah, uhm, I'm not hungry, can we just leave right away?" I ask and she gives me a nod. We head towards her car, which is a black Ford of some kind. The weather is pretty cold, but I don't mind, considering we'll only be sitting in the car. Unless the car doesn't have a heater, then we're f.ucked. Once I'm inside of the car I quickly check, and I find out that, luckily, the car does have a heater. Phew.

The entire ride is silent, I don't really talk much usually, but I don't know about Aunt Carol. Maybe she has nothing to say to me, or maybe she does talk, and I simply don't pay her any attention. No matter what, the ride is silent for me at least.

Once we get to her home, she gives me a little tour before she shows me my room. The room is small; it only has a single bed and a closet. The walls are blue and there is a window next to the bed. That's it. That's the entire room. You have enough room to take maybe three or four steps before you run out of space to walk on.

I'm not complaining, though, it's not like I'm going to be doing anything in here, I'm probably just going to be on the bed anyways...