How They Looked At You
"Thanks for the ride, I'll call you later," Quinn granted Charlie a sincere smile as she shut the car door.
The boy waved his response and pulled out of the driveway. Quinn readjusted her book bag once it slid down her shoulder and trotted up to her front door. She forced her house key into the lock before finally stepping inside and shielding herself from the growing heat emitted by the rapidly approaching spring season.
She narrowed her eyes at the darkness that welcomed her. Her vision struggled to adjust to the lack of lighting that contrasted vastly with the bright sunlight that beamed down on her all day long. Not a single light appeared to be on in the house even though Paloma's car sat right outside.
However, her expression relaxed once she saw her sister sitting at the dinette table with her back faced to her.
The girl slipped her book bag off of her shoulder and let it hit the hardwood floor with a soft thud. "Plum, I'm home. Why are you sitting in the dark?" she chuckled.
"Well," Paloma began, "honestly, I was waiting for you to get home and this lighting seemed fitting for the situation."
Quinn raised her eyebrow as the woman stepped closer to her. "And what situation is that?"
The brunette simply placed something in Quinn's hands and crossed her arms over her chest. The girl sighed and flipped on the lights before allowing her gaze to settle on the pictures that rested in her palm. Her annoyed demeanor dispursed at the sight of the other redhead and his family.
"You went through my stuff?" Quinn growled. It was the only response that she could summon.
"Is that all you can say?" Paloma scoffed. "I was cleaning up your pigstye of a room when I came across those. You know, if you want to keep things from me, you should find a better hiding place for them, maybe somewhere that's not your drawer."
"I can't believe this."
"You can't believe this?" the brunette chuckled. "I'm the one that's been in the dark this whole time! You went to go see him, that...Ross guy? You know what? I don't even know why I'm asking, it's obvious that you did. Otherwise, you wouldn't have the pictures."
"Ding, ding, ding, Sherlock solved yet another case ladies and gentlemen," Quinn snarked with the roll of her eyes. She turned away from Paloma and instead made her way into the kitchen. The teenager pulled peanut butter from the cabinet and jelly from the fridge before untwisting the tie that bound the wheat bread. Even though her eyes remained on the items in front of her, she could still feel her sister's relentless glare boring into her as she stood on the other side of the island bar.
"This is not the time to get smart, Quinn," Paloma warned through clenched teeth. "You better start talking...now."
"What do you wanna know?"
"I wanna know when and why," the brunette demanded.
"Two days ago and...I'm pretty sure you know why," Quinn hissed. Her eyes refused to meet Paloma's, instead, they were glued to the bread as she spread the peanut butter on it with a silver butter knife.
"No, I don't know why," Paloma asserted. "I don't know why you'd deliberately disobey me and go behind my back to do this."
"Then you're even dumber than you look," the redhead mumbled under her breath, but somehow, her sister heard her anyway.
"Look, little girl," the woman commanded with the slam of her fists. Quinn's eyes flashed to her's once the island bar shook beneath Paloma's aggressive touch. The teenager clenched her teeth and forced her gaze to remain on Paloma's. She absolutely hated it when her sister referred to her as a little girl, she only ever did it when she was really angry and wanted to remind Quinn of her place. It always got under her skin and Paloma knew that. "Never talk to me like that again. Do you understand?"
Quinn faltered under her sister's glare and her eyes darted back to food before her.
"I'll ask you again, why did you go there?" Paloma uttered in a low voice.
"...Because...he's my biological father and I wanted to talk to him, to get to know him."
The elder Sullivan massaged her temples in a languid motion, she could feel her stress level rising. "He's not your dad. How many times do I have to say that?"
"I didn't say he was my dad," Quinn challenged. "I said he was my biological father. There's a difference."
"Quinn, your dad, your biological father, whatever, was Russel Sullivan. That's it, those are the facts. That Ross guy, he's not him!"
"And how the hell do you know that?" Quinn scoffed. "Oh wait, you don't! You saw it, that test said that we share 50% of our DNA for God's sake! And look at the pictures, don't tell me he doesn't look like me. I'd love to believe that dad really was my father, but he wasn't. Those are the facts and it doesn't just go away because you don't want to believe it."
Paloma inhaled deeply while she studied the girl intently. "Even if that's what you think, even if it's true, I told you not to message him. You not only did that, but you met him too. Why?"
"I needed to get answers and the only way I could do that was if I talked to him."
"So, you met him two days ago," Paloma reiterated. "That was, what, Tuesday? You didn't go out that night. So, when did you find the time to meet him?"
"I...went in the morning."
"Before school?" the woman pondered.
Quinn gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. "...During."
"So, you skipped class?" Paloma scoffed. "Nice. And where exactly did this little meeting take place?"
Quinn sighed and bit the bullet, "I went to his house."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" the brunette bellowed. "You don't even know this guy, Quinn! Do you even fathom how unbelievably dangerous that is?"
"I wasn't in any danger," Quinn sighed. "Charlie was with me." The second she blurted the words out, she regretted them. She was in trouble, but she didn't want her boyfriend to be too.
"Charlie?" Paloma chuckled bitterly. "So...what? The both of you just decided to go behind my back and do this?"
"He only helped me because I begged him to. He was worried about me and wanted to make sure I was okay, so, he drove me there. It's not like you gave me much of a choice."
"So, you're blaming your actions on me?"
"You refused to talk about," Quinn reminded, her frustration grew monumentally. "Every time I brought it up, you were so passive aggressive and dismissive. You knew that I wanted answers, but still, you kept it from me. Why?"
Paloma shook her head, "I was trying to protect you."
Quinn laughed, "Paloma, if you're gonna lie to me, at least humor me with an excuse that's not complete bullshit," the girl growled. "You always act like that's why you do the things you do, but that's a lie. You do the things that you do because you're afraid. Just like now, you were scared to find out the truth about mom and dad and Ross...so you just shoved it away, you didn't wanna know. You wanted to forget and in turn you tried to keep me from it too. Look, you can't protect me from everything and it's time you learn that. I am so sick of you...overcompensating."
"Overcompensating?" Paloma narrowed her eyes.
"Yeah, overcompensating," Quinn reiterated. "After everything that's happened over the last few years, after all the things that you failed to do, after the stuff that happened before I was living with you, you feel guilty about it, so now you're overcompensating and being overprotective."
Paloma chuckled, "I'm not overcompensating and...I don't feel guilty. I do the things that I do because I'm responsible for you."
"Come on, Paloma, mom and dad weren't even as overprotective as you are. I've never seen anything like it. And you weren't even like this when they were still alive."
"Yeah, that's because things are different now," Paloma replied. "Back then I wasn't around you as much and I didn't have to be so worried about you all the time. I could just be your sister. Our relationship was different, everything was different."
"Yeah, things are different, but it's not just because mom and dad died, it's because you-." The girl stopped mid sentence and rephrased her response, "Look, I know that you can't...have kids," Quinn gently stated. It was a topic that they rarely ever discussed simply because it was much too difficult to think about, not that either of them had much of a reason to bring it up, but Quinn felt that this time, the topic needed to be revisited.
Paloma's eyes darted to her sister's once the girl's words fell from her lips. She really wasn't expecting her to steer the conversation anywhere near that subject.
"And I'm sorry, but I think that's why you kinda treat me like I'm your child. I get it, I do, but you have to understand, I can't assume that role because I'm not your kid," Quinn asserted. "You're my sister, you're my guardian, but you're not my mother and you don't just get to make these kinds of decisions on my behalf. I'm not an invalid and I have a right to know where and who I came from. So, if you're waiting for me to see the error of my ways or to apologize, you're gonna be holding your breath for a long ass time."
Quinn tore into her Pb & J, her teeth instantly became stained with the contents of her sandwich.
As much as Paloma wanted to argue, she had to admit, her sister had a point. Even though she never voiced it, her inability to procreate seemed to constantly be on her mind. Before she got Quinn, she hadn't really thought much about it, but once the girl came back into her life, the reality of it all really weighed down on her and she could hardly stand to think about it.
Although she didn't even know whether or not she wanted to have children one day, knowing that it wasn't even a possibility really hurt. But, once the responsibility of taking care of Quinn fell in her lap, all she could think about was how she would never have another chance to raise a child and she wanted to do it right.
After a few moments of silence, she exhaled heavily and pressed on, "What did he say?"
Quinn narrowed her eyes in suspicion, she was expecting her sister to lay into her even more and she was surprised that her expectations weren't met. "What do mean?"
"You said you wanted answers, that's why you went there. So, what answers did you get? What did he say?"
"You sure you wanna know?" Quinn pondered.
Paloma simply nodded her head.
"He said that he met mom when he was in college. He was interning in a class at your middle school, so that's how they got to know each other. Eventually, they started hooking up and after a while, mom stopped seeing him since she was still married to dad. She found out she was pregnant and Ross knew but they kept him from me," the girl shrugged. "And years later he had another kid with his wife, Maggie." She flipped through the photographs and handed her sister the picture with the entire McGregor family. "His name is Oliver and technically...he's my brother."
Paloma scoffed, her eyes looking Quinn up and down. "Your...brother," she muttered. She was surprised at the girl's loose use of the term. "So, what? You're gonna start calling Ross dad now?"
Quinn's eyes instantly flashed to her sister's in shock, she didn't know why, but Paloma's words really stung. "You're such an asshole!" She yanked the pictures from the woman's hands and clenched her teeth. "Why are you being such a bitch about this? What, is it because I disobeyed you? Are you kidding me?"
"It's not about that. It's about how you went behind my back and you met this guy. And if he's your father then that means that we're half-sisters, this whole thing isn't just about you and..." Paloma shook her head. "You didn't even consider how that would make me feel."
"How it would make you feel? You weren't even supposed to find out, I did all of this for me, this affects me more than it affects you. You didn't want to know and that's fine but what does it matter if we're half-sisters? We're still sisters, but I wanted to know the truth, not just about that, but about everything."
"What does it matter?" the brunette scoffed. "This changes everything."
"No, it doesn't," Quinn declared. "It doesn't change anything about us and it hardly affects you. Why are you even making this about you? You think I wanted to go behind your back to meet Ross, do you think I didn't want you there with me to help me figure all of this shit out? Don't you think that this is hard on me too? Finding out what mom did and what dad had to deal with, with me. It wasn't easy, it still isn't. Believe it or not, it's actually very hard. But it's my reality, it's something that I had to do and you wouldn't be there for me so Charlie was instead."
Paloma gritted her teeth and exhaled softly through her nose. She never thought about it that way.
"Do you think I like thinking about how dad had to look at me, only seeing the guy that bedded his wife? Imagining how he must've felt having to be around the bastard child every day that wasn't even his. Having to be reminded every second of what mom did."
Paloma immediately felt guilty once Quinn's nose reddened and the tears in the girl's eyes, that she didn't notice at first, suddenly became prominent. Her agitated demeanor suddenly vanished and all she wanted to do was comfort her sister.
But Quinn wasn't having any of it, the second the brunette stepped towards her with open arms, Quinn rejected her advance and continued her rant.
"No, I don't like it, I don't like any of it. As a matter if fact, I hate it. It makes me feel like shit," she whispered. "Especially now that mom and dad are gone. If I'd known, I would've apologized to dad or...something."
"...And said what?" Paloma questioned softly. "I'm sorry for existing? It wasn't your choice, it wasn't your fault."
The redhead shook her head and averted her gaze.
"And I'm glad it happened," Paloma asserted.
Quinn forced her puffy, red eyes to meet Paloma's. "What?"
"Yeah, I'm glad it happened because, if it didn't, I wouldn't have you."
The girl's expression softened as her eyes lowered. She grabbed her sandwich and took a small bite.
"Look, I know all of this is really hard for you and you're right, this entire time I've been a major asshole about it. I didn't really think about how much this would affect you or how it'd make you feel. I didn't want to face it because I didn't want things to be different and you're right, it doesn't change anything between us. But, you're wrong about one thing."
She waited for Quinn to meet her gaze before continuing, "You're not a bastard and I never wanna hear you call yourself that again because...I can promise you, dad loved you more than anything. Mom too."
Once Paloma picked up on the obvious skepticism on her sisters face, she pressed on, "I remember the day you were born, I was there at the hospital and the second they let me in to see you, I was in complete awe. You were adorable and...perfect. And I wasn't the only one that thought so, it only took one glance, I watched them watch you and they looked at you like you were the greatest thing in the world. I saw the look in their eyes and I knew that I had drawn the short end of the stick," she laughed softly. "They looked at you like you could do no wrong like they'd give their dying breath so that you could take one more...like you were the best thing they ever did. They looked at you like that...and they never stopped. Not once." Paloma clenched her teeth and sighed, "They looked at you like I wanted them to look at me."
"Paloma-."
"No," the woman interrupted. "It's true."
Paloma sat in the truth of her own words. No doubt, for the most part, their parents always expressed their love for the oldest Sullivan, but it was nothing compared to the love that they held for Quinn. And if nothing else proved Paloma's inclinations, the harsh rejection that she received from them when she came out was all the proof she needed.
"They loved you too," Quinn quietly asserted. "Even after what happened between you."
"They loved me," Paloma agreed. "But they absolutely worshiped you."
"...It's getting harder and harder to remember," Quinn bit her lip and sighed a shaky breath. "I'm scared I'm gonna forget."
"You won't," Paloma promised. "Because you have me and even after fifteen years, how they looked at you, that's how I look at you too," she smiled a genuine smile, one of those rare smiles that only comes once in a lifetime and the smile alone gave Quinn reason enough to believe her.
The teenager sniffled as she nodded her head in understanding. The tears that stained her cheeks suddenly felt so silly, she quickly lifted her glasses and wiped them away. Paloma held her arms out yet again in hopes that this time the girl would accept her affection. After a moment of hesitation, Quinn received the gesture and allowed herself to relax in Paloma's embrace.
"...Why don't you invite Ross and his family over for dinner sometime soon?" Paloma suggested as her chin rested on top of the girl's head.
Quinn pulled away and eyed the brunette curiously. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah," Paloma nodded. "We can have like a big Sunday dinner. Next week maybe? They can come over and we can invite Ava and Charlie too. That way it won't be too much pressure, just a casual thing, you know? And...we can both get to know them."
"Really?" Quinn tried again. "Are you comfortable with that?"
"Well, I'm not used to having strangers over, but," she chuckled, "technically, they're your family too. And like you said, you have a right to know them. If you care about them...then I do too."
So, I know it's not much, but we got a little more insight on the Sullivan's parents. Any thoughts on them? Also, I figured we were overdue for some Paloma and Quinn moments, so this chapter kinda gave us some of that. Please drop a comment or two and hit that vote button if you liked it. And while the next chapter won't consist of the dinner with the McGregors, the following chapter will so be sure to check that out. As always, thanks for reading! 🤗
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