AN: Vampire and Assassin at the top.

My shirt was practically drenched in sweat along with Gay Harry's as we sat on my living room couch with stiff postures.

"How long do we have to hold eachother's hand again..." He seethed through gritted teeth, still maintaining his large over enthusiastic smile that matched mine while we squeezed eachother's sweaty hands.

"Until they stop staring at us..." I replied back, our sentences coming out more like muffled hums since we were trying to talk while smiling those kind of cringy smiles elementary kids sported in their yearbook pictures as the Assassin, Psycho, Prince, and Vampire glared at us in silence from across the room.

I heard Gay Harry gulp, both of our faces hurting from smiling so much and our hands hot and irritatingly sweaty as we stayed seated on the couch.

"Uh..." I swallowed, taking in a deep breath as the four Harrys' gazes snapped towards me in an instant, all of them with their arms crossed over their chests in a brooding manner as they leaned against the wall in a line.

"My uh, my b-boyfriend and I-" I began as Gay Harry silently choked on his spit at my words, visibly cringing along with me before I stood to my feet, bringing him up with me since our hands were still together.

The four Harrys' bodies tensed at the label as they shifted on their feet, trying to hide how much it hurt them for me to say that.

"Yeah me and him, we just- we need a minute. Uh, to do- to do couple things-" I explained, shifting my eyes around as my chest rose and fell rapidly.

"Straight things." Gay Harry added, widening his eyes for emphasis as I looked at him before looking back at the others, vigorously nodding my head in agreement.

"What do straight people even do with eachother again..." Harry leaned closer to me, dipping his head down so he could whisper in my ear in confusion before I cleared my throat and nudged his side with my elbow, signalling it wasn't the right time as he mumbled a small "bitch don' tuch meh" under his breath even though we were still holding hands.

"We're gonna just, yeah..." I trailed off, craning my neck and pointing at the hallway before I tugged Gay Harry with me, passing the others as they watched us leave, turning their heads slowly to follow our movements.

"I love vaginas!" Harry blurted out behind me before I pushed him into my parents' bedroom and closed the door behind us.

Gay Harry and I immediatly let go of eachothers' hands, jumping away from eachother cringing as we wiped at our sweaty palms against our shirts while he repeatedly chanted "ew, ew, ew, ew!"

"You know there's this thing called moisturizor right?" He scoffed, placing his hand over his heart as he looked at my palms in horror.

"Oh yeah, what was that back there? 'I like vaginas!' I mean really?" I shot back, raising my brows at him as I tried to control my breathing from all the pent up stress in my body.

"I panicked I'm sorry!" He shook his head, bringing his hands up in the air as I frowned and moved passed him to the nightstand, going through each and everyone of the drawers quickly.

"Alright, what are you doing now." I heard him ask in annoyance as I blew a strand of my curly frizzy hair out of my flushed face.

"I need to find my phone, that's the only way." I murmured under my breath to myself, my eyes looking through the objects and papers as I shifted through all my parents' things, wondering where my mom would hide my cell.

"It's the only way, look I did this whole choosing the secretly gay you to buy me some time to find my phone okay. I can't have them constantly being mad at eachother over this fucking love pentagon shape just because I can't choose. I'm going to find my phone and wish that they just see me as a friend- oh or even better wish that they find another person to love who loves them back. I love all of them and I just can't choose damn it all I want is for them to be happy." I ranted out, my words coming out rushed and shakey as I checked under my parents' bed.

"Oh my gosh honey you're a mess," Harry frowned, giving me a sympathetic pout with a tilt of his head.

"Well, makes me feel so much better about my life." He sighed with a small smile as I looked up to narrow my eyes at him.

"Why do I always put my phone on mute!" I scolded myself in frustration, moving around the room almost tripping over my own two feet before there was a knock at the door.

"Aye pumpkin, the hairdresser chick is here." I heard Psycho's voice resonate from the other side making me stop my movements, my brows furrowed in confusion as I exchanged looks with Gay Harry before opening the door to find Psycho with a middle aged woman with big blonde Dolly Parton hair smoking on a cigarrette and holding her equipment in her free hand behind him.

"Hi puddin' how you doin'" She said in a deep gravelly smoker's voice as the Psycho nudged his head towards her and gave me a thumbs up.

"Hi, I'm doin' good... uh, why did you get a hairdresser for me?" I asked, giving him a look of uncertainty as I leaned against the doorframe.

"Ah well, as the amazing wonderfully caring guy I am, I thought, after all those days of training you I told the guys we should make you feel like a princess tonight when we go out for dinner." The Psycho smirked, only for the blade of a sword to be pressed against his throat from someone at the side where I couldn't see as the Psycho's body stiffened before he let out a small breath of annoyance.

"Alright I lied. Snow White made the idea up but we all agreed to it so same thing. And he also got you this." Psycho Harry huffed before he handed me the clothing that was hanging over his arm, my eyes widening in surprise when I opened the large black jacket to reveal the expensive dress that I was checking out at the mall a few days ago while the sword at the Psycho's throat retracted back.

"What? You guys didn't have to do this for me-" I began with a worried expression, feeling my chest constrict before the Psycho hushed me.

"Oh that's not all, I was also the one who called up the hairdresser for you to do your hair. Count Dracula got you these high heels to match with your dress and the Assassin got you some new make up or whatever." Psycho Harry shrugged before he handed me the shopping bag and shoe box as I tried to cradle everything in my arms while I gaped up at him in shock.

They did all of this, for me?

Do they not know this shit is a direct hit to my already emotionally damaged heart?

"Ugh just fuck them all." Gay Harry groaned in the back making me and the Psycho turn our heads to him as I widened my eyes, silently telling him to shut it.

"Anyways, we'll be eating at Molinari Delicatessen and Spy Kids bitch hopes you like Italian. Wink wink, mi amoron." Psycho Harry joked with a roll of his eyes, trying to imitate the Assassin before the Psycho ducked just at the nick of time as a pocket knife whizzed right above his head, cutting off a few strands of his hair at the top of his head before it hit the door frame a few inches from my face.

"Missed me bitch!" Psycho called out, grabbing the knife from the wood, yanking it out as he sent me a sly wink.

"Oh, and you can come too if you want. Snow White and Count Drac tell me I should be quote on quote, courteous to Liza's wishes and shit, but you get her your whole life. Just let us sore losers have her to ourselves for this one last night." The Psycho said in a serious tone, catching me off guard since he was never in a humorless attitude as he looked at Gay Harry who simply nodded in understanding.

"We'll text you the address of the restaurant and meet you there." He then told me with a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes before he walked away as the hairdresser entered the room, closing the door behind her.

"Wow... I always knew I was hot but never that hot." Gay Harry breathed with a daze grin, fanning himself as the hairdresser Laureen -guessing from her nametag on her shirt- set up her equipment as I continued to gawk at the closed door in shock.

"Ugh my heart hurts... And even worse so do theirs." I mumbled under my breath, looking down at the floor in shame as I placed all the stuff they bought me.

"I need to find my damn phone." I wheezed out, darting over to the closet in the back only for me to be stopped by Laureen who grabbed my arm as she looked through her bag.

"Ima need you to put that there dress on already puddin cause your hair is gonne be the biggest thing on you, judgin' by the size of your small chest." She rasped out in a bored tone as she examined the different combs in her hand.

"Wait I just really need to find something important-"

"I'll look for your phone while you're out." Gay Harry offered, looking through the shopping bags as he checked out some of the make up in his hands.

"What? No you have to come with me to dinner -I can't face all of them alone when they're like that." I reasoned, struggling not to hypervenilate as I began to sweat.

"Hm, let's see... Go to dinner with four guys who want to murder the shit out of me and pretend to like vaginas," Harry began, raising his left hand as if he was holding something up.

"Or stay here and stay home alone where I can strut around in only a thong and high heels while pretending to be Beyoncé." He then put his right hand up, balancing his two hands as if trying to outweigh his options before he brought his right hand over his left, giving me a careless grin.

"Okay you can stay just, just please try finding my phone. My mom usually hides it in high shelves where she knows I can't reach and I'm too lazy to get a stool to help me get it." I informed him as he tossed me the dress.

"Sure sure, I got it now stay still, I wanna try putting this shit on you." Gay Harry dismissed me with a wave of his hand as he neared me with a make up brush and palette in his hand while Laureen started to work on combing my hair.

••

There's always that one scene in fanfictions, or just stories in general where the main character gets a make over.

Sometimes it just gets ridiculous, she takes off her glasses or wears a tight dress for once in her life and boom it's like she's a different person.

Like a superman kind of deal, glasses on, Kent Clark, glasses off, superman.

Like bitch is you blind...

Despite the cliché aspect of the situation, I always loved those scenes and sometimes dreamed of having that happen to me.

A stubby potato turning into a golden crispy fry.

I walked into the restuarant, smoothing out my dress and taking a deep breath when I spotted the four Harrys across the room at a table in sleek jet black suits, their backs facing me as I forced my legs to move and close the space between us.

I could see all the customers at their own table looking up from their food and menus to gawk at me, their heads turning to follow me even when I passed them.

A few waiters glanced my way only to give me a double take, tripping over their feet as I attempted to smile at them while one man at his table dropped the drink in his hand as he stared at me with a dropped jaw.

The waiter helping one of the Harrys at the table paused as I caught his eye, slowly straightening his posture as he mumbled a small "woah" under his breath, taking in my appearance with wide eyes making the other Harrys turn to look at me.

"Holy shit who did this to you!?" Vampire Harry exclaimed, blinking up at me with wide eyes as they all quickly stood to their feet, visibly cringing at my appearance while I looked at them through swollen puffy eyes.

"Pumpkin... you look like a... pumpkin." Psycho gulped as he looked at me in horror, all of them leaning back a bit while the Vampire tried not to gag.

"Uh.. yeah... I may have had a teensy tiny allergic reaction to the makeup and now I can only breathe through like, one nostril but I'm fine." I reassured them, my voice coming out nasally and stuffed as I kind of spit everywhere while I spoke since my lips were swollen as well, in fact, my whole face just looked like one huge pimple.

My red cheeks were inflated, squishing my lips to be pursed like a fish and I could barely see with my large swollen puffy eyes that made it look like someone had socked me in the face multiple times.

The Assassin slapped his hands over his face, groaning out a low "this is all my fault, fottermi" while he shook his head in shame.

"No it's fine, I'm fine you guys really. I never thanked you all for the stuff you guys got me." I tried to smile, unconsciously scratching at my legs making the Prince focus on my hand with a frown.

"Oh yeah, that." I mumbled when they all noticed the large red infectious dots spackled over the skin of my limbs.

"The dress is like super duper tight and I don't know what the material is made up of but it- it kind of gave me a rash but it's fine. I'm fine. I put some cream on it." I said, my nervous laugh coming out more like a weak wheeze as they all stared at me in disbelief and pity.

The bird on top of my hair squawked, causing all four Harrys to flinch back in surprise when they saw the pigeon on my large oversized messed up nest of a hair while feathers fell to my shoulders from the rapid movement of the bird flapping its wings.

"Yeah this is Devon. Turns out Laureen only knew how to do one hairstyle and that was the big Dolly Parton kind of hair so she used so much hairspray on me that this little guy thought it was a nest while I walked over here. It's cool though cause he kept me company. I named him Devon." I explained as they all gaped up at the fumbling bird on top of my head that was probably placing twigs and leaves into my strands of hair to feel more at home.

The Vampire sighed before he picked up a breadstick from the small basket in the middle of the table, raising it and offering the food to the bird as I closed my eyes and hid my face in my hands when the bird took it with a loud squawk, flapping its wings rapidly causing my large stiff hair to shake before it left with the food in its mouth, flying out of the room.

"Bye Devon." I coughed out, brushing a few feathers off of me as I looked back at the exit.

"Here," Prince Harry spoke up, politely taking the jacket I had on my shoulders off before placing it over the empty seat next to him as he pulled the chair open for me.

"Thanks," I told him in a soft tone as he looked at me, not keeping his eyes off my bloated blotchy muppet looking face while I limped over since one of my heels had snapped before I sat down, making him push the chair forward until I was settled until I let out a breath only for a loud rip to ring in the air.

A large tear at the side of my dress stretched over my skin right when I sat down making me frown at the rip.

"Shoot, I know you bought this for me I'm sorry." I quickly apologized to the Prince who sent me a sympathetic look as I tried to close the fabric with my hands.

"Jesus Christ Liza we're sorry again. It wasn't our intention to make you uncomfortable like this." Assassin Harry apologized as the three slowly sat down, still watching me while they nervously shifted in their own seats and readjusted their collars.

"I feel like if I poke your face it's gonna explode...." Vampire Harry confessed in awe, squinting at me in disgust and curiousity as he slowly raised his pointer finger, bringing it closer to my face until I swatted his hand away in annoyance.

"I think," Prince Harry said, making me jump a little in my chair when I realized he was still standing behind me, his large hands on my bare shoulders as he ran his thumb along my skin in a soothing manner.

"I think that you look absolutely beautiful tonight." He told me, leaning forward more before he placed his hand under my chin to tilt my head up so I could see the sincerity in his clear green eyes while he looked down at me with a genuine grin, making me smile up at him in appreciation before he brought his head down and placed a quick peck to my swollen lips.

It lasted less than a second and if I blinked I would've missed it.

But I didn't.

And it actually happened as the other Harrys sulked in their seats while Prince Harry fixed his suit and sat back down in his chair besides me with a small dimpled smile.

The worst part was that my whole face was so numb I didn't even feel the small kiss he left on my lips.

"Shit, I can do that too. Pumpkin you look incredibly sexy all swollen like that." Psycho Harry snapped, rising from his seat to reach over the table and kiss me before his hand knocked over one of the wine drinks, making it spill all its contents onto my lap as my shoulders slumped.

"Oh shit..." Vampire Harry laughed into his fist as Assassin Harry grabbed the collar of the Psycho's suit, yanking him back down in his seat.

"Idiota." The Assassin grumbled, rolling his eyes before he grabbed a few napkins and tried to help me wipe away the liquid on my legs and dress.

"So kid, have you chosen who you really want to be with yet or are you still gonna try to make us think you're with Pepe le dick me down boy." Vampire Harry smirked making me snap my gaze up at him in surprise as I looked between all the other Harrys who had the same expressions on their faces.

"Wait- you guys, you guys knew?"

"If it makes you feel better we didn't know he was gay when you first introduced him to us." The Vampire told me with a shrug, leaning back in his seat as the others nodded.

"Yeah, that is until the bastard came into the living room while you were dressing up saying, 'Hello fellow straight men, how about we shake things up a bit and have a fivesome.'" The Assassin quoted, running his tongue along his lip ring as he let out a husky chuckle.

"Oh my god.." I groaned out, putting my face in my hands, my elbows resting on the table as I shook my head, the migraine that I was going through only becoming stronger.

Gay Harry you had one job.

One job.

"Lady Liza, if I may, we have all realized the effect this choosing business has on you and we all agreed to just wait patiently and not rush you into anything." Prince Harry said, making me look up from my hands to stare at them as they all nodded in confirmation, my vision blurring in and out and my eyes feeling like they were swelling even more as I tried to breathe.

"You guyths are the besth.... Love youth guysth." I slurred out with my swollen pursed lips, wheezing a little before my head fell against the table face first and I passed out from the lack of oxygen.

••

I gasped for air, opening my eyes to find myself tucked in my bed as I looked around frantically at my surroundings in confusion.

I scratched at my leg absentmindedly, my eyes widening in realization when I found myself dressed in an oversized shirt and sweats before I brought my hands up to my face which was no longer swelled up.

"Don't worry, we got the gay one to undress and change you into something more comfortable when we brought you back from the restuarant." A gruff raspy voice said from the back of my room, making me turn in the direction of the sound to find Vampire Harry sitting near my window, looking outside with a tired weary expression on his face.

"Hey... you feelin' okay?" I asked, taking in his worn out appearance as he let out a sigh and rubbed his face.

"You know when people are anxious or worried about something they tend to forget to eat?" He asked, laughing lightly at himself although there was no humor in his smile as he shook his head.

"I'm going through some blood withdrawl here." He groaned, slumping against the wall as he rubbed his temples.

"We can make a quick trip to safeway for some fresh meat that still has blood in it- or a hospital even." I said, focusing all my attention on him and his health as I moved the blanket off me and stood to my feet.

"Don't. I'm not- just don't come near me right now." The Vampire quickly said when I started to approach him, pressing himself further into the corner as he rubbed his face making me freeze mid step.

"Where are the others?" I asked, looking around my dark room as I placed my hand on my hips.

"In the living room, we're taking turns watching over you and there's no way in hell I'm gonna let them see me act like a pussy." Vampire Harry scoffed, laying himself down on the floor touching his stomach with a frown as I rolled my eyes at his pride.

"How long have you been feeling like this?" I interrogated him, annoyed and concerned that he wasn't taking care of himself.

"Mm... tres días." He pouted, his eyes still closed as he brought three of his fingers up from the floor.

I let out a sigh, walking over to my nightstand, crouching down as I looked through my secret stash of food I had hidden just in case I wanted a midnight snack before I brought a salt and pepper shaker.

"Why the actual fuck do you have condiments in your room..." Vampire Harry said, furrowing his brows and giving me a look as I sat in front of him on the floor with the two small shakers in my hand.

"Sometimes I get to eat in my room and my dad's food is always bland but I don't want to hurt his feelings since he works really hard on the meals he makes for my family so I just secretly add some flavor to them when I'm here." I explained with a small shrug before I tilted my head all the way to the side, trying to brush my short hair away from my neck before I shook the shakers on my neck, salt and pepper grinds falling onto my skin making Harry raise his head up from the floor as he watched me with an amused grin.

"Liza, are you... tempting me?" He smirked, his yellow eyes glowing slightly in the dark as I scooted closer to him with my head still craned so he had easier access to my neck.

"Dinner's served. Look, it's the fastest thing and if you guys can take care of me I can take care of you all too." I said with determination before I furiously pointed at my neck while the Vampire continued to look at me.

"Ha, fastest thing, get it, I'm like fast food." I snorted, snapping my fingers at him as he rolled his eyes at me, a small dimpled smile on his face before he sat himself up in front of me.

"Look, if I'm gonna drink some of your blood I'm not gonna do it from your neck, even I know that's too dangerous." He said with a sigh, looking around as if he was contemplating the possibilities before I stuck my thumb out to him.

"Suck my thumb." I smiled at him.

"What?" He blinked at me in confusion, giving me a look.

"Suck my thumb blood sucker." I teased him, poking his cold pale cheek with my thumb as he chuckled, grabbing my wrist to stop me.

"Alright, alright. Pushy." He scrunched his face at me, holding my wrist and bringing my hand closer to his lips.

"You might feel a slight pinch." He warned as I nodded, watching him when he sunk one fang down onto my thumb, opening a part of the skin as drops of blood started to form over the punctured cut.

"This is humiliating in so many ways oh my god." He groaned out before sucking on my thumb with a blank face as I laughed at him, patting his head while he lapped his tongue over the cut.

"We tell no one about this. No one." He said, bringing two of his fingers up as he pointed at his narrowed eyes then at me in a "I'm watching you" manner.

"You're like a wittle baby." I mocked as he continued to suck on my thumb, glaring at me while I ran my hand through his hair and smiled.

"I can hear your pulse." He murmured, releasing my finger from his mouth with a slight pop, licking a smudge of blood on his lips as his yellow eyes met mine.

"Right. Here." Vampire Harry drawled out in a deep husky voice, bringing his hand up to touch the side of my neck, his eyes never leaving mine before he let go of my wrist and suddenly grabbed my ankle, yankin me closer to him, my butt sliding over the floor as I leaned back in surprise, trying to create a greater distance between us only for him to pin me to the ground, straddling my waist.

"You scared?" He breathed with an arch of his brow, his breathing heavy as his eyes flickered to my neck before he ran his tongue along the side of his fang.

"Seeing as you could rip my throat out and kill me with your teeth," I began, pursing my lips in thought before I look up at him, our face only inches away.

"I'm pretty okay." I shrugged, not really caring as he chuckled, my whole body tensing when he lowered his head down and placed a soft gentle kiss on my neck.

"Thanks for being my dessert tonight." He whispered in my ear, making sure to trace the tip of his nose along the skin of my neck before he brought his head back up, smiling as he bit his lip.

"Woah cool, did I taste like cake?" I asked, wondering how my blood tasted to a vampire.

Priorities.

"Well actually you tasted more like potatos but saying dessert sounded more seductive." He reasoned, laughing when the excited expression on my face fell as I sent him a deadpanned look.

"Of course." I mumbled under my breath.

He opened his mouth to say something, his eyes flickering down to my lips before a loud clash from outside was heard through the hallway, making both Vampire Harry and I raise our heads up to look at the door before the yelling started.

I immediatly sprung to my feet, not even waiting for the Vampire as I ran outside into my living room only to drop to the floor, crouching and covering my head at the sound of bullets ricocheting in the air.

"How dare you! How dare you lay your fucking hands on her like that!" I heard one of the Harrys scream, my blood running cold when I rose from the floor to find it was from Prince Harry, his green eyes clouded over like the other two as he tried to strangle the Psycho.

"I didn't touch Liza! He did! He did!" Psycho snapped back, looking just as furious and deranged with anger as he tried to move passed the Prince to the Assassin while the Assassin went behind the Prince to choke him.

All of the green in their eyes were slowly draining to a dull grey as they fought one another, punching and dodging, throwing eachother into the walls and smashing the furniture.

"Fuck!" I heard Vampire Harry hiss in the hallway behind me, grimacing as he grit his teeth and placed his hand on the wall to support himself before he fell to his knees, cradling his head as he screamed while I watched everything in horror.

"Get out of my head! Get out!" Vampire Harry yelled, his whole body shaking before I felt it.

I felt his presence.

I turned my head, looking passed all the chaos with wide eyes towards the back of the room where a dark malicious shadow of a man was hidden in the corner, looming over us as he had the Prince, the Psycho, the Assassin, and the Vampire under his full and utter control.