*

Baekhyun sighs, the ticking of the clock on the wall is very deafening. He has just finished doing his assignments and studying in advance when a knock on the door breaks him from his deep thoughts.

"Hey," Sehun says, smiling a little as he makes himself comfortable on Baekhyun's bed. He grabs a long pillow and puts it in between his legs. "What's keeping you busy?"

"Nothing much," Baekhyun replies, and he is playing with the light switch of his study lamp, flicking it on and off, on and off. "Just studying for the exams."

"But it's still the week after next week," Sehun says in a complaining voice as he turns to his stomach. "Why do you love to study so much, it's a pain in the ass."

"Well, it's definitely so much better than playing Clash of Clans overnight," Baekhyun teases with a smug smile across his face, crossing his arms over his chest. "And watching cartoons until dawn."

"It's not cartoons, Baek. It's called, 'anime.' What the hell." Sehun rolls his eyes like he's about to throw a tantrum again, and Baekhyun chuckles heartily seeing his best friend's childish face.

"Have you washed the dishes already?" Baekhyun asks, fingers still fumbling with the switch so that the lights will flicker like it's broken. The clicking of the switch is so irritating but Baekhyun pays it no mind. He likes to watch how the whole room gets dim and suddenly gets bright again.

"Yeah, I already did. So please cut that off and let's sleep," Sehun mumbles against Baekhyun's pillow with his body sprawled across the bed like it's his territory. "I'm sleepy."

"But you're lying on my bed."

"You can sleep on the floor."

"How dare you," Baekhyun mutters, kicking Sehun's ass with his toes. "Get off my bed and go to your own room, Sehun."

"Don't want to."

Baekhyun sighs, helplessly sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling the sheets over his legs. He turns the study lamp off and turns the lampshade on instead. Grabbing a book perched on the beside table, he starts to read the page to where he has bookmarked last night.

"Baekhyun."

"Yes?"

Sehun is still facing the pillow, his back turned against his best friend who is now turning the page of his book. The sound of the flipping paper can be heard throughout the silent and slightly dim-lighted room.

"What is it?" Baekhyun asks again when Sehun doesn't answer. Moving to his side and facing the wall, Sehun tenses a bit.

"I saw some bruises on your neck."

Baekhyun's hand pauses on top of the page, eyes staring down at the last two sentences and he can't seem to read and comprehend them although they're very clear. Sehun slowly turns around and the bedsheet rustles with his movement. Looking up straight into Sehun's questioning eyes, Baekhyun heaves a deep sigh, his heart getting heavy. Sehun's eyes looking at him never falter.

"I thought my eyes were just playing tricks on me, but when you were sleeping, I peeked in a bit and saw they were real." Sehun says, voice glazed with anger and worry combined. Baekhyun never breaks eye contact, because he knows he needs some explaining to do. "The bruises are still fresh."

"Sorry I didn't tell you because I know you'll get worried," Baekhyun apologizes, glassy eyes staring back at Sehun. He cups his neck, feeling the marks Chanyeol imprinted. "But I'm okay, I already put something on my neck to make it heal faster."

"When I saw your bruises last night.." Sehun whispers, and his voice breaks at the end of his words. His hands are shaking. "I-I clearly imagined how he strangled you, you looked so helpless.. but I wasn't there to save you.. And I feel like I'm worthless."

"No, no. Don't you ever say that. You're not worthless, Sehun," Baekhyun mutters. "And if there's someone who is worthless, that would be me."

"Baekhyun, I want to get mad at you but I know it would be pointless if I do," Sehun says, and he's looking at the white-painted wall instead to have something to glare at. "So just please tell me you will never get near him again."

"I'm trying to get away from him as much as possible."

"Please try harder." Sehun sits up slowly so that the both of them are now sitting side by side, backs leaning against the headboard of the bed. "It's for your own good."

"I know." Baekhyun says, hands fumbling with his forgotten book. "And thank you for always worrying about me."

"I'm the only one in this world who'll worry about you aside from your parents." Sehun places a gentle hand on top of Baekhyun's knee, squeezing it lightly. "So don't waste it because I can grow tired too, of worrying too much that I could die young."

Baekhyun chuckles at that, nudging his best friend's ribs with his skinny elbow. "You're exaggerating!"

"So you'd take me seriously."

*

True to his words, Baekhyun is really trying his best not to get acquainted with the President or anyone from the Student Council. Seeing his friends Luhan and Jongin stare at him from a far with cold but longing eyes pains him, but he can't do something about it. It's for the better, he thinks.

It has been a week since his last encounter with the President, and Baekhyun hasn't seen him again except from a distance. Baekhyun is thankful for that, though, but that doesn't mean he's at ease. It doesn't mean he's happy.

They say the more you get away from someone, the more they come to you, and as ironic as it can be, that's how Baekhyun finds himself standing on the same ground as the President.

Baekhyun looks around the place seeing no people around anymore because it's already nearing dark. The reason why Baekhyun is still at the school is cliche, he forgot some stuff so he got back. He knows it's a total coincidence having the President here in front of him, but that doesn't stop him from stepping back, scared of the person who just tried to kill him.

Chanyeol doesn't move. He's just staring at Baekhyun who is now shaking in fear-- seeing that look on Baekhyun's face makes Chanyeol to hate himself more. He's a monster, a beast, a murderer whom he just made himself into. He watches how Baekhyun trips to his own feet when he keeps stepping backwards, and Chanyeol wants to yell how clumsy he is if not for Baekhyun's terrified eyes staring back at him.

Baekhyun wants to run fast and make his escape this time, away from Chanyeol and away from this situation. It's like deja vu, he's on the ground and Chanyeol is standing before him. There's a part in his heart that is wanting to stand, throw himself to the President and hug him tight. Tell him he misses him so much, ask him how he has been when he was gone, and say that he's trying his best to forget him but he can't.

Because Baekhyun still loves Chanyeol, and he never stopped.

"Baekhyun."

There's a hint of gentleness in his voice, just like when he summons Baekhyun when he needs the Vice President to finish his paper works, or when he calls Baekhyun when he's just bored after class, or simply the way how Chanyeol tells him he did great today and he's proud of him after they had sex.

"P-please. Don't hurt me. Please."

"I won't hurt you."

Chanyeol is still standing a meter away from Baekhyun, and Baekhyun doesn't bother to get up to his feet as he cranes his neck up to look at the President in the eyes, Chanyeol's gaze is soft, deep, and endless.

Step. Step. Step.

His steps are lighter now, watching how Baekhyun's lips tremble. Chanyeol doesn't say anything when he holds out his arm towards Baekhyun, hand stretched asking to be touched.

"Stand up," the President says, voice still coated with authority. "Your clothes will get dirty if you stay like that."

The way Chanyeol's palm feels against his own is soothing, and he misses how the President holds him ever so softly like this, just like before when he traces the column of Baekhyun's spine with his warm hand, or he maps out the smooth skin under Baekhyun's ribs. Baekhyun is longing, he's yearning for Chanyeol's touch he hasn't felt for so long.

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"That I.. deserve to die?"

"I wasn't thinking straight when I said that and I," Chanyeol looks at the dark skies outside, rain threatening to fall any minute from now. "I was high."

"I worry about your health so please," Baekhyun squeezes his eyes shut, sucking a sharp breath. "Stop doing drugs, Chanyeol-sunbae."

"You made me do it again."

The rain starts falling from the skies, as well as Baekhyun's tears from his eyes.

"Please come back, because I miss you so much, Baekhyun."

A pang creeps its way straight into Baekhyun's heart, making his insides reel and his head throb. The rapid thumping of his heart isn't determined to slow down as Baekhyun inhales, willing away the tears escaping again but cannot. He's tired of crying, tired of hoping, tired of the President's warm words that are always empty.

"This is me who's talking, not the drug," Chanyeol says, letting out a heavy breath which he blames for causing his chest to feel suffocated.

A sharp lightning cuts the clouds into two before the thunders roar, and Baekhyun's heart is the same inside his chest. Looking up to the President directly in the eyes, Baekhyun says, unwavering, "Why?"

Chanyeol is fazed.

"What is the reason that you want me to come back?"

Baekhyun is undaunted by the President's heavy gaze trained upon him, like he's looking at him through his soul and skinning him alive.

"Because I'm begging you."

Baekhyun knows he doesn't beg.

"You cannot live without a slut?" Baekhyun asks, voice steady. "You cannot live without someone to fuck? Was it hard, sunbae, that when you got horny I wasn't there to suck you off?"

It's surprising Chanyeol never uttered a word which Baekhyun deems as a chance to be heard out.

"Why do you want me to come back, sunbae? So that I can be splayed on your bed offering my body just for you?"

"Stop."

"How about I'm on my knees so you can fuck my mouth until you come?"

"Fuck, I said stop!"

Chanyeol roughly grabs Baekhyun's uniform and shoves him against the wall, his hands are shaking as he grips the boy's collar with both fists.

"Why do you want me to stop? Don't you want to hear the truth coming out from my mouth?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"What, are you going to hurt me now? Slap me hard so that there's bruises on my--"

Chanyeol shuts him up with his eager mouth pressed against Baekhyun's for a rough kiss. He swallows all the whimpers that Baekhyun makes as the boy attempts to shove him away. Baekhyun is squirming and pushing and kicking, doing his very best to not get dominated by Chanyeol's strong hold on his body. There are too much teeth and tongue, the kiss is very sloppy and harsh. Baekhyun cries out loud, begging to be released.

Chanyeol finally pulls away, looking at Baekhyun's puffy terrified eyes staring back at him, just like how they were when he first kissed Baekhyun at the Student Council room. His eyes are frightened, scared, just like how they were when he first tainted Baekhyun's innocence, turning him into what he is right now.

The thunders rumble. Chanyeol can see the lightning being reflected on Baekhyun's eyes like a mirror, and he's leaning in to kiss Baekhyun's lips again.

He can taste the salty tears on Baekhyun's lips, feeling the shudder of Baekhyun's mouth when he presses his lips ever so softly against the boy's side of mouth. A gasp, and Baekhyun relaxes under the touch when Chanyeol gently tilts his chin up, kissing him delicately, carefully, soft lips grazing against cracked flesh.

Hesitantly, Baekhyun is kissing the President back, once, twice, then he is withdrawing to stop, shaking his head as he weakly pushes Chanyeol away. But Chanyeol claims his lips back again, feeling Baekhyun breathe through his nose when he nibbles Baekhyun's upper lip gingerly. There's a hand that is quick to wipe the sole tear that streams down onto Baekhyun's cheek, as Chanyeol still kisses him slowly, surely, safely.

Chanyeol is the first to pull away.

"Stop crying." He presses his forehead against Baekhyun's fringe, and Baekhyun flutters his eyes close, then he quietly nods.

"I mean it when I told you you're beautiful when you cry," Chanyeol softly whispers, his warm breath ghosting against Baekhyun's wet cheek. "But you're more beautiful when you don't."

The thunders roar loud up in the skies, but Baekhyun's heart is now at ease.

*

They're inside the Student Council room, waiting for the rain to stop.

Chanyeol has long dozen off on the couch. He hasn't been able to sleep properly nor rest for a while these days, that he has to take drugs just sleep. Baekhyun notices the dark rings under Chanyeol's closed eyes as he watches the President sleep. He looks so peaceful and gentle this way if not for the scrunch on his forehead.

"What are you thinking of?" Baekhyun murmurs to himself as he flicks his index finger. He presses it against the skin between Chanyeol's furrowed eyebrows, flattening it along the crinkles so that the skin would be smooth again. "There. Now you look handsome." He thinks for a while. "I mean, you look more handsome when you're asleep."

Slowly, the wrinkles are gone on his forehead, and Baekhyun smiles to himself.

Standing up, he goes to the bedroom and gets a blanket to drape it over Chanyeol's body carefully. He startles when the thunders roar outside, and he's thankful he hasn't made a noise to wake the President up. Looking around the place he hasn't been for what it feels like eternity, he decides he will clean this place up to kill time.

"This place is so messy," Baekhyun sighs as he notes of the scattered papers, empty bottles, cups, bags of chips and stuff everywhere. He grabs the broom and starts to sweep.

After ten minutes or so of tidying the room, Baekhyun thinks this is more livable than before. He discards the last garbage he sees inside the trash bin and sits on the President's swivel chair. He has never seated here ever before, so he enjoys it for a while, turning around and pushing and pulling himself while giggling like a child. This is really cool, he decides, but he shouldn't be doing this, especially if Chanyeol is just sleeping a meter away from where he is playing. It would be really embarrassing.

"Okay, enough of this," Baekhyun mutters as he holds himself to stop him from moving. He accidentally knocks over a box so it falls to the ground with a thud.

"What's this?" He crouches on the floor and inspects the scattered stuff. Eyes widening, he sees a lighter, a foil, a pack of white grainy substance, a joint, a small bottle with a clear liquid, cocaine, blue pills, weeds and a pack of condom.

This is a stash of drugs, Baekhyun states to himself as he picks them up with trembling fingers. Looking around, he returns them inside the box and stands up. He leaves the condom and puts it inside the drawer instead.

"I'm sorry, Chanyeol-sunbae," Baekhyun says, and pours all the contents of the box inside the trash bin. He discards the box as well. "But you need to stop doing drugs so you won't do something stupid again." He closes the bin and walks off to the bathroom to search for more stash to throw away. He knows there's still more drugs hidden inside the medicine cabinet and behind the mirror.

He doesn't know Chanyeol has been watching him from a far, but doesn't do anything to stop him. Instead, Chanyeol lies on the couch again and goes back to his pretend sleep.

He isn't sleeping all along.

*

To be continued.