I'm sure you just read the title and either:

A) Rolled your eyes and thought "is it really for Jesus, or are you just lazy, and using Him as an excuse to be lazy?" (very valid reaction by the way😂😂😂)

B) Laughed because you either found it silly, and/ or are in a similar situation :P

C) Felt some sense of hope as you rightfully assumed that this was going to be an inspirational post J

D) Experienced a strange combination of all the above xD

***Let me know which one you were in the comment section, I'm really curious xD

But anyways, let's get talking.

As you may, or may not know, I am currently a civil engineering major. I'd say about 80% of the time people have no idea what that is, so I'm going to spare you the google search and fill you in xD Civil engineering has to do with safely designing and construction things like bridges, roads, buildings, dams, and canals.

All engineering majors take a lot of math and/ or science classes. As a civil engineering major I definitely take more math classes than anything else. In regards to science I [thankfully] only have to take one semester of general chemistry plus the lab.

Despite only needing one semester, and being in the most basic chemistry, it was still incredibly difficult for me. I struggled through chemistry in high school, so I knew college chemistry wouldn't be a walk in the park. However, in the back of my mind I knew I was a fighter, and that I'd conquer it...because that's who I am, and that's how I roll. 

I graduated from the IB program (a very rigorous academic program) with above a 4.0 weighted GPA, and within the top 20% of my class. I definitely had my struggles, but I always made it through and succeeded. So naturally I assumed that chemistry would work the same way this semester...but sadly I assumed wrong.

I received a D on my first exam. Heartbroken? Yes. Frustrated? Yes. Ready to quit? Most definitely not. Just like past difficulties I knew that I could also overcome chemistry. I went to every class, I asked for help (which was extremely difficult for me and really required me to get off my high horse), I went to tutoring, I did practice tests, watched YouTube videos, prayed, and asked others to pray for me. I'd say I did everything right...but somehow I scored even lower! I got an F on my second exam!! This was unheard of for me.

I did some calculations and saw that in order to PASS the class (with a C) I'd have to get almost a perfect score on the next test, as well as on the final. Anything lower than a 97% on my next test and final would give me a D on my transcript... this was unheard of and simply not an option for me.

For the first time in my life I was behind a mountain that I couldn't just climb over. For the first time in my life I was going to legitimately fail a class. It was so unreal, so unthinkable, and honestly impossible...but nonetheless had become my reality. I couldn't believe it...Ms. 4.04 GPA was going to actually fail a class...

I remember locking myself in my dorm, turning off all the lights, and staying in my bed crying, and sleeping all weekend. I didn't study, hang out with my friends, or eat. I just stared at the wall, cried, slept, and would occasionally get up to use the bathroom.

The next school day I had a meeting with my advisor. Every semester we're required to meet with our advisors, check in for the semester, and start building a schedule for the next semester. He pulled up my schedule and was shocked at how many classes I was taking. At the time I was taking 5 class PLUS a three hour chemistry lab. He looked at me, and genuinely asked me how I was holding up, and asked if I'd have to drop a class. Immediately I lied through my teeth and told him I was doing fine (again, my pride got the best of me lol). I explained that chemistry was giving me trouble, but I knew I'd pull through. He said great, but if I needed to drop a class it'd be fine because withdrawing from a class would not affect my GPA, and I could catch up by taking it over the summer.

I walked out of his office all smiles, but I felt very hurt on the inside. I knew I wasn't going to pass chemistry, and that my best option would be to accept my incompetence, throw in the towel, and drop the class. In tears I called my dad, and told him I'd have to drop chemistry. He fully supported, and honestly encouraged my decision. He saw the amount of stress, anxiety, and depression the class was causing me, and told me that it just wasn't worth it.

Dropping the class hurt, but what hurt the most was the realization that I wasn't invincible... but instead was a defeated quitter who couldn't conquer a class.

I decided to swallow my pride, be smart, and do what I had to do. I stopped lying to myself, emailed my advisor the next day, and then two days later completed the paper work to drop the class and lab.

In a sense it was nice because my schedule and work load were lighten immensely, and I also gained a lot more time to focus on my other classes... and to sleep again xD

However, I still felt like a failure. I felt inadequate in every way. I was really mad at God because I trusted Him with a very fragile and important situation, but He still let me down. I studied, prayed, got help, and did everything right, and still failed.

Seeing that being bitter wasn't getting me anywhere I made a decision to just trust Him. I told God that His word is true, and in His word He says all things work out for our good. With that in mind I came to the conclusion that I had nothing to worry about. I read one of my favorite verses for times of trials (Romans 5:3-5), and chose to believed that even out of this painful situation something good would come from it.

The next day I woke up and realized that the college I would be taking chemistry at was the exact same college my campus ministry felt led to visit and pray for! On top of that the group I was in all felt led to pray for the science building. We all prayed that God would bring someone into the science building who would become a light on campus, and bring others to Him. Little did I know that I'd get to be that person.

Even in the most painful experiences God still has you, and is working things out in your favor. Yeah I would have liked to pass chemistry the first time around, but if taking it again gives me the chance to witness to others, then who cares. Failing a class is such a small price to pay for someone's soul.

I know this post was kind of long and that it wasn't my usual style, but I felt someone needed to hear it. I want you all to know that God hasn't forgotten about you. Know that even in the darkest times God is working behind the scenes, and doing GOOD things on your behalf. You may not see it right now, and you may not see it for years, but know that it IS happening. He's arranging perfect moments, interactions, and encounters just for you. I don't know exactly what's going to happen this summer, but I know that it's going to be amazing! I know that I'm going to look back and be thankful I couldn't pass the first time around. I believe you're going to have a similar experience. It may look bad now, but one day you're going to look back and realize "what you thought was a step back, was actually a set up". – Joel Osteen

"Don't think of it as failure, think of it as God needing you somewhere else" – My very encouraging friend. Xx

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.  Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. " -Romans 5:3-5 (TLB)

How are you all doing this semester?? Have you had to drop a class? :/

Is anyone having a hard time being positive, and remembering that something good is on its way?

Does anyone have a testimony/ really cool story where something super amazing came out of a really sad situation?!

Let me know in the comment section!!!

Lots of love, and God bless. X