Sometimes I wonder if there's actually something wrong with me. Thing is, I'm not just quiet. There's more to it than that. Like when I'm dancing.
I like dancing, but I think it's safe to say I'm not very good at it. The main reason is it never looks like I'm putting any effort in. But I am. I my mind, I'm dancing and moving just as much as everyone else. But I look back on the videos and, I stand out like a sore thumb. I look like I'm not even trying. You don't know how frustrating that is. People say, "well then just do it as if you're dancing at 110%!" But they obviously don't realise how hard that is. When I'm dancing I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about the moves I'm doing, not how much energy I'm putting into them. And even when I do push that extra 10%, it still looks the same. It looks like I'm not trying. That's why I wonder, maybe it's something physical. Something physically wrong with me.

Not only that but I have this thing. It's incredibly annoying. Whenever I'm in a room full of a lot of noise, or something, and I try to talk, or sing, my voice doesn't sound clear like everybody else's. It's sounds muffled, like I'm under water or something. It's so uncomfortable that sometimes it makes me stop what I'm doing. I hate it.

I was watching videos of me singing back, for coursework and stuff, and I was so confused. In my head, I was singing louder than everyone else. I was singing my little heart out but when I listen to the video, I can only just hear myself. I can't put into words how frustrating that is. That's why I believe this is more than just 'being quiet'. There has to be something physically wrong. My vocal chords aren't able to produce sound as loud as most people. My body can't move as fast or as much as other people.

I've always been someone who tends to live life in the slow lane. I'm know for taking a while just to gather all my things and go. Like at the end of class for example. I try to pack stuff away as quickly as possible because I hate it when you're the last person out and the teacher starts trying to talk to you. I don't want that. Just let me go.

Maybe that's a part of it.

Is there something wrong with me?