- Monday, March 19th, –

I'm not really paying attention in any of my classes and I'm getting annoyed by the worried looks that my teachers sent me the whole time. Sam has been trying to cheer me up, but today is a bad day and I might as well go home, since I won't learn anything anyway.

My mind is occupied by two persons; Finnley and Oliver.

Oliver isn't in school – I've looked for him – and I texted him to meet up during lunch, but got no response.

And now I find myself spending time to look up his tormentors. I figured out in which school Oliver used to be with Maxie; when he was still poor and bullied for being poor and gay.

And after deciding to skip the last class of the day, I sat down in the same cubical that Oliver pulled me in when he told me Finnley went on a bender and we needed go and look for him. When Oliver still hated my guts and didn't want to let me go by myself to Todd's; the bar where all the screw-ups come together.

And it took me a while, and since I do not have the same useful programs Oliver and Noah have and explained to me to find people, it took me about an hour, but then I managed to find old pictures of their graduation year in high school; Oliver and Maxie no longer present, but these have to be them.

Stefan Robinson, Rick Foster and Lennard Vaughn. They're currently staring at me with mocking smirks on their faces in a picture that is part of their yearbook. It seems to be taken during a school party.

I find more when searching the internet with their names and some basic information like their hometown.

And specifically, Rick Foster is easy to find, since he didn't put his Facebook or Instagram on private and I'm able to find all information I need to find him right there.

The school he goes to, the clubs he goes to during the weekend, the fact he's playing soccer in one of our opponents' clubs, but not in the team that is in our competition.

Lennard is harder to get information about, since he did put everything on private and there's no information available for me. But since his profile picture contains Rick, both of them holding a beer and still mockingly staring at the camera, I think it's safe to assume they're still friends.

Stefan is one I can't find at all and I wonder if he's one of the few people who hasn't got a Facebook page. He isn't in the pictures with Lennard or Rick either.

I tell myself to look him up further when I'm able to use the right programs, moving back towards Rick's page because I guess he's the best lead to find them right now.

It's not like I'm planning to pay them a visit or whatever, but I do want to know who they are and what kind of people they are. I'm just trying to get to know Oliver's past a bit better, in order to maybe be a bit of a better friend to him right now.

And to my surprise, it's actually Oliver that calls me and breaks my bubble of concentration, noticing Sam is suddenly seated on the other side of the table, working behind his laptop too.

"Oli? Hi! I tried to contact you..."

"Cris, I found something I think you might want to know." He sounds dead-serious and I frown. "Can you come over to my place? Because I need to look further into this."

"What's it about?"

"Mister Sydney James Lund."

"You found him?"

"No, I don't know his current whereabouts, but I did find out his past."

"Ooh, well... I'm coming over, okay? I'm still in school so I'll be there in about 20 minutes."

"Be careful, okay? I don't like the idea of you out on your own."

"Maybe you should've considered that before skipping school?" I chuckle to tell him I'm joking.

"You're not the only one who has bad days, Cristian." He grumbles a bit angry, causing me to swallow. The smile I had on my face instantly drops, because I simply feel shitty he started acting grumpy to me again. It's as if we went back in time half a year and the only reason he talks to me is Finnley. It's as if we didn't spend the past months together nearly every day, sharing a bed, hugging, crying on each others' shoulders.

Maybe sleeping together does bother him more then I thought it did, since it changed right after that happened. And since it's still eating me alive, I need to consider talking about it to Oliver to make sure that stupid little mistake won't screw up our friendship.

"I was kidding, Oliver," I tell him, knowing I sound a bit sad. "Sam came over so I wouldn't be alone."

"I'm not really in the mood for jokes..." Oliver sighs. "Just come over, okay? I want to see you anyway, cause I haven't seen you since soccer and I barged out on you and I' sorry, but I'm just in the wrong state of mind at the moment and... we need to talk."

"Right." I nod, though he can't see me nod, and share a look with a worried Sam. "I'm coming over, okay?"

"Thanks." The line goes dead without a proper goodbye and I sigh, dropping my head onto the table.

"What's wrong?"

"Oliver and me... ever since we slept together it's like he hates my guts all over again. I screwed up, I already feel shitty for cheating... well... you know what I mean. And I think Oliver is pissed because I did that, because he still cares about Finn and you know how protective he was of Finn. He always threatened to beat me up beyond repair if I would be to break Finnley's heart and I might have done exactly that, with Oliver. So he might also hate himself for allowing it to happen..."

Sam's frown keeps increasing the longer my ranting goes on, but I'm not nearly finished.

"And he drank again and he hates himself for doing that too, and I'm worried he's still drinking because Noah told me Oliver always sneaked Vodka to school, pretending it was water and he wouldn't let me take a sip of water from his bottle after soccer so what if he's drinking again since Friday? Just because he ran into his former bullies and I can't figure out for the life of me what happened to him that made him start drinking the way he did."

"Isn't that because of what happened to Maxie?"

"No, he drank with Maxie in school. He started drinking during the day even beforeMaxie killed himself. I think it just got worse after that."

"Just go over there, talk to him, don't force him to stop, but just let him know you're there for him whenever he needs you to be. And tell him he has my number too and he knows where to find me. I've been thinking about going out with you, Oli and Alex some time anyway because I think Oliver and Alex start to become friends and Alex is one that isn't allowed to drink either, because he's an addict too. So maybe they can confine in each other."

"You know, that's not even a weird idea to be honest." I cock my head and smile carefully. "He keeps telling me I have no idea what it's like to be an addict, since I'm capable to not drink for days if I want to. Maybe, since Alex has the same problem, they can support each other... help each other. Share tricks to forget about alcohol..."

"So, you'll ask Oliver if he's up for it and I'll convince Alex to join?"

"Sounds like a plan. We're free on Wednesday and so is Oliver. You think Alex is free too?"

"He doesn't go to school right now, so he's free 24/7. I'll suggest Wednesday." Sam smirks. "And tomorrow you're going to tell me who Rick is." He points towards my laptop. "And why you're stalking him."

"He's Oliver's bully." I shrug. "I want to know more about Oliver, so I get to support him better."

Sam nods, telling me he understands. "Now, go and head over to Oliver, because you're running late and we both know Oliver isn't the patient kind of type."

I chuckle and smile towards Sam thankfully. "Thanks, Sam. You have no idea how lucky I feel for having you as a friend. I'm glad you and I decided on joining in a project group."

"Me too, Cris." Sam sighs. "I'm happy you wanted to be my friend too, because with Alex taking up most of my time, I hardly had any friends besides him. And you kind of understood me."

"Still do." I nod. "I'll let you know if Oliver is okay with hanging out on Wednesday, and now I'm gonna hurry because I think he'll beat me up if I'll be any later."

* * * * *

It is one of Oliver's brothers that opens the door to let me inside. It's one of his brothers I haven't previously met, and he introduces himself as Jonah. Who is, if I recall correctly, part of a twin along with a brother called Chase.

Who I've never met before either.

I only know Loraine, his baby sister, and Noah – who recently moved back in at home after he broke up with his girlfriend.

And Noah and Oliver still tend to sleep in the same bedroom whenever I'm not staying over, because they're simply used to it and they both miss the 'cosy' room they used to share.

I can't imagine what it's like to have a brother in the first place, or six, like Oliver. Let alone have a brother I would be that close with that sharing a room is preferred over having my own room.

I mean, Charlie and Finnley always have been as thick as thieves, but they would never want to share a room together. Neither would Jaimie with his brothers even though they are friends and used to throw parties together.

But I do like the idea of having siblings, and I know Oliver dislikes his family, but doesn't mind the fact there's that many of them ow that there's enough money to provide everybody in their needs.

And the sweetest of his siblings, Loraine, comes running towards me as soon as I pass the playroom in which she's seated with a bunch of Barbie dolls.

"Cris!" She calls out excitedly. "Are you staying for dinner?" she grabs my hand, like she always does, and joins me in my walk towards the office. Jonah told me to look for Oliver in there.

"I don't know Lori. Do you want me to?"

"Yes! Yes, you have to!" she pulls my arm, and starts waving it back and forth. "I'll sit next to you, okay?"

"Well, let's ask Oliver if he wants me to stay over first, and then ask your mom if she has enough food for me to join, okay? And if they're okay with it, I'll join, and I'll sit next to you."

She smirks widely as we walk into the office, Oliver smirking at me at the sight of Loraine holding my hand and skipping along with me.

"I'm fine with you staying over," he chuckles. "And there's always plenty of food. You know there is. Mom always keeps in mind there's a bunch of Makenzie's out there that tend to join unexpectedly. Like Jonah today."

"Yeah, he seems nice."

"He's a dick. But he can be nice, I guess."

"Oli!" Loraine stares at him with wide eyes. "That's a no-no word."

"You're over 10 now, Lori." Oliver tells her matter-of-factly. "Start to get used to those words."

"Mommy says a lady never curses," Loraine tells him wisely, sticking her nose up in the air with a disapproving look.

"And mommy is right, but I'm not a lady."

Loraine giggles, climbing onto my lap as soon as I sat down. This little girl her is secretly my girlfriend – she claimed me – and according to Oliver, that's rare for her to do. She only did the same with Finnley before, but never with any other friends that either of the Makenzie boys brought home in the past.

And the fact she likes me just as much as Finnley only tells me Finnley is my soulmate and we simply share one soul, divided over two bodies.

And Loraine knew from the first time she met me, even without us telling her, that I, Cris, was Finnley's boyfriend.

And she already demanded me to let her be bridesmaid at our wedding.

It stung in some way, since I'm not sure there will ever be a wedding. But it also made me extremely happy and proud to know even a little girl like Loraine already knows I belong with Finnley.

"Say, lady?" Oliver rolls his chair in our direction, tickling her side shortly, making her laugh loudly. "I need to talk to Cris about some really, really boring adulty stuff. So why don't you go and play with Tina and Jenny some more. Cris is yours as soon as dinner is ready, okay?"

She pouts shortly, until I lean forwards. "It's gonna be really boring, Lori. But if you'll be a good girl and play with Tina and Jenny for now, I'll come over soon to watch TV with you, deal?"

"Yes!" She claps her hands. "I have a new movie, that Oliver got me!"

Oliver starts laughing loudly and I send him a confused look, while Loraine gets off my lap.

"What? Which movie is it?"

"Spice Girls the movie." Oliver snorts in enjoyment. "I played her some of the music last week and now she is a fan, even though they no longer exist. I downloaded it for her yesterday."

"Oh god, are you going to sing along?" I look towards Loraine, who's still lingering by the door.

"Yes!" She smirks in the same way Oliver always does, showing one of the many similarities between them. "I'll practise the dances too."

"I bet you'll be great at them." I smile warmly at her, knowing Loraine loves dancing, and does ballet and other sorts of dances as a hobby. "We'll pick a date soon."

"She's free on Wednesday afternoon, just like us."

"Yeah, but I can't on Wednesday."

"You can't?"

"Sam wants to hang out."

"Ooh." Oliver frowns and I notice Loraine blowing me an air-kiss, giggling as I pretend to catch it and place it onto my cheek, before she runs off. "What are you going to do?"

"Don't know, we were wondering If you'd like to join. He's asking Alex too."

And I did not miss the hint of a smile, even though it's only briefly. Oliver is a master in poker faces, but I learned to pay attention to his reaction in the first seconds.

"Sure, why not? We could go karting."

"That's a great idea!" I perk up in my seat at the thought. "Maybe do a round of laser tag too."

"Or an escape room. I wouldn't mind being locked in a room for an hour with the three of you."

I can't help but laugh because he wiggles his eyebrows in a seductive way. "I thought we agreed to not ever sleep together again."

He blushes a bit, but nods. "Yeah... that wasn't our greatest idea ever, huh?" He sounds serious again, and I stop smiling too.

"It's not like I didn't enjoy it..." I mutter. "But it's..."

"Finn."

I nod, sending him an apologetic smile. "And don't get me wrong, Oliver," I start my confession, taking in a deep breath before spilling the truth. "I do think I'm falling for you. But I can't forget about Finn and I just know he's my soulmate, my other half..."

"I know." Oliver nods and sends me a reassuring smile. "I like you too... more then just a friend. But there's... someone else."

That causes my eyebrows to fly up. "Who?"

"Nonaya business is his name." Oliver sticks out his tongue. "I need privacy and time to seduce the guy. And until I know if it's mutual or not, I'm not gonna tell you because you're terrible at hiding things."

"Right, seems fair..." I chuckle, knowing I'm terrible at keeping secrets. "But, I'm happy to hear that there's someone you're interested in."

"Me too, though I do feel conflicted because it's not Maxie and I still miss him." Oliver shrugs. "But, we should get to business. Because I found something really interesting."

"Oh, right. What did you find?"

"Sydney was sent to a boarding school after their parents found out what he did to Finn, right?"

"Yes."

"He went to a place called St. Helena's institution. It's an all boys boarding school in the east part of the country. They're catholic and all, really strict, rehabilitating derailed kids. Whether it be kids who went through a trauma, or simply acted out, behaved badly, or in some cases, did something criminal."

Oliver is by now showing me an old list of students who went there, tapping Sydney's name in the list.

"Right, okay, and what's interesting about the place? Is it a cult?"

"No, but..." Oliver scrolls back up a bit and even without him pointing out the name, I see the name I hate most in this universe in the same list; Jeffrey George Donaughy.

"They went to the same school?"

"For three years to be exact. They're the same age and they graduated in the same year. They met during boarding school. How much of a coincidence is it that Sydney abused Finn in the past, and Jeffrey ends up forcing Finn to be a prostitute? I'm willing to bet all my money on it that they've been working together all along. Sydney didn't feel any remorse, he was simply pretending, wanting to take revenge."

"If you are right, and I think you are, it's not that much of a coincidence Finnley got abducted that shortly after confronting his parents with the past."

Oliver bites his lip, staring at me with a bit of a shocked expression. "Do you think that confronting them that night, might have provoked them into taking action?"

I swallow back the lump that is forming in my throat, realising if I'm right and it isn't a coincidence, maybe they wouldn't have jumped into action that night. Maybe they would've picked a different day.

And maybe, if they would've, we could've pressed our buttons, asking for help.

"It's not important." Oliver suddenly says. "What is important, is finding Finn. And I think Sydney is an important piece in the puzzle, not just Jeff."

I nod along with him, wondering if the cops already figured this out themselves. If Oliver found this, then I think it's safe to assume they know too.

They are looking for Sydney too, so I guess they are looking into his past too.

"There's one more thing I want to talk to you about." Oliver, turns off the computer screen, turning to face me.

"What is it?"

"I thought about what you asked..." he drawls, getting up from his seat to close the door, even locking it in the process.

"I ask tons of questions..." I drawl back.

"Asking me to tell you what it is that's been bothering me."

"Oh, right..."

"I wasn't in school today because I went to see my therapist. I called him this morning, said I urgently needed an appointment because it's starting to go wrong again... he made me come over instantly."

"That's good!" I perk up, proud at him for seeking help. "That's really good."

"Yeah..." Oliver places his hand over my mouth to silence me. "I'm going to tell you what it is that's been bothering me. What the reason behind my drinking was. And I need you to shut up and not respond in any way. I just want you to know, and when I say the topic is over, it's over and we pretend like we never had this conversation. Deal?"

I nod, him still covering my mouth, while feeling a bit nervous because he's threathing this subject in a really secretive way.

"When I was sixteen, you know I was bullied, and so was Maxie. But up until that point, I was in the closet and Maxie understood and allowed me to stay in there safely so that I wouldn't be bullied even worse since they already picked on me for being poor. Rick, Lennard and Stefan were the ones who always, always were there to do something to either Maxie or me. Maxie and I dodges them by eating lunch in the bathrooms on the third floor because they were literally never used by anyone. One day, they followed us there, and they found us together, and they saw us kissing." Oliver takes in a deep, shaky breath, while I fight the need to respond in any audible or visible way. I try to keep my face neutral, wondering what is going to come out of this story.

"Needless to say, I was outed to the school within minutes, and after school, they locked me in said bathrooms when I was looking for Maxie." He stops talking, rapidly blinking his eyes and obviously on the brim of tears at the memory.

And I want to tell him it's okay, and he doesn't have to share this story right now, but he wants too and he clearly told me to shut up and listen.

"Rick raped me that day, while Lennard held me down. Said I was a poor, pathetic excuse for a human being and that I should consider following in my mom's footsteps as a whore." It comes out void of literally any emotions and I recognize Finnley's defence mechanism in it; show now emotions at all or break down completely. "That's it, that's the reason I drank as much as I did, and it's the reason why I started drinking again last Friday. To drown the memories of the worst day in my life. And this conversation is now over, we're never going to speak about this again unlessI bring it up again, got it?" He pulls away his hand as soon as I nodded in confirmation while my head is full of screaming questions, curse words, screaming profanities at Lennard and Rick for doing this to him.

And with that, I suddenly know Oliver's deepest, darkest secret and from the second he confessed what happened, I completely understand his need to drink himself into oblivion.

But I do now realise, no matter how snappy or grumpy Oliver acts towards me, he considers me worthy enough of a friend to share this with and that means none of his shitty attitudes towards me are personal attacks. It's just him, dealing with demons from his past that will never fully go away.

But at least now I understand, and that offers me a chance to be there for him in the right way.