- Monday, May 7th, -

There's flashes of lights, sounds and feelings pooling inside me and my mind. There's fear, there's pain, there's sadness, a feeling of being lost.

I remember a fight, I remember Stan being angry at me, I remember feeling adamant and as if on a mission.

I clearly can remember how Stan was daring Jaimie to hit him again, I remember stepping in between them, taunting Jaimie for hating me because I confessed liking Stan; a lot.

I remember Jaimie's fist closing in on my face.

And how that is the last thing I remember.

The sounds that I remember, however, do not add up to the scenery in the locker rooms, where Jaimie hit me repeatedly. The lights I remember don't make sense. The feelings neither.

I didn't feel scared when Jaimie hit me, but I do remember being scared shitless; scared like I've never been before.

None of it makes sense.

I open my eyes, only for a second, closing them simply because the lights are too bright and it created some sort of explosion in my mind.

I hold back on the need to cry out, going over the memories I have, that feel distant, vague and not that cohesive.

My heart skips, sinks, yarns when I remind myself why I met Stan in the first place, and how I haven't received a note from Finnley for too long. How I have no idea how he's doing, where he is. His notes not making any sense.

But still it doesn't make sense, because my feelings for Finnley are that much stronger when I think about him, than I remembered.

It's as if the feelings are as strong and vivid as ever, while the memories still feel faintly, distant, wrong.

What the hell happened?

I try to make sense out of my mind, but I soon drift back off to some sort of vague dream in which I drown, and I can't get back to the surface. An unfamiliar face forcing me back down over and over again, until I can no longer fight, swallowing a liquid that doesn't feel like a liquid, right before I throw it all out, now actually feeling liquids leaving my throat.

I'm back in a bed, the lights are out, the darkness is welcome and calming, but the smell of my puke is disgusting.

"Holy shit..." Finnley's voice murmurs beside me tiredly. "That's one way to wake up..." He's already rushing around the bed, pressing a button, before forcing me to lay back down.

I answer his pressuring hands, thankfully laying back down with a throbbing headache, dizziness and mostly confusion.

"Finn?" My voice is weak, cracked, my throat hurting like hell at the vibrations of the words. "You're here..."

"I'm right here, yes." He leans over, wiping my chin with a towel as the door opens and a nurse hurries into the room. "He threw up..." Finnley stares at her helplessly, before slumping back down in a chair tiredly, pale-faced and taking deep breaths.

"Oh dear." The nurse walks up to me, getting clean bedsheets from a closet, while pressing the button again. "Let's just get you in clean clothes, and a different bed. I think that's easier and that way you can go back to sleep."

"Back to sleep?" I croak out, not wanting to go back to sleep. Finnley is here, and I need to know what happened. How can he be here, without them being surprised? He was missing just now, for over two months.

I can't just go back to sleep.

I allow them to dress me up in clean clothes and tuck me into the free bed next to me, moving it to the spot I was in before, while they clean the bedsheets from the old bed in a rush, one leaving halfway throughout the work.

I feel shitty for throwing up in bed while I need help with everything instead of cleaning up after myself.

But eventually, the second nurse leaves after checking I'm still hooked to the right machines. I turn my head to look at Finnley, who surprisingly fell asleep in a chair despite the rummaging of the nurses around us.

I can't help but stare at Finnley, taking him in while he's sleeping, his chest gently rising and falling while he's curled up in the chair.

It looks highly uncomfortable and for a while I contemplate on waking him up to ask him to lay down next to me, but I fall back asleep before I decided to do so.

- Tuesday, May 8th, -

As I wake up, Finnley is still in the chair, staring at me but seemingly deeply submerged in his thoughts. So deeply, he doesn't notice me waking up, or trying to sit up a bit.

It looks cute and feels familiar to look at him thinking like that, causing a smile to break onto my face.

"Good, you're awake again." The same nurse that cleaned me during the night enters the room with plate of food. But instead of handing it to me, she puts it down next to Finnley, causing me to frown.

"What about me?"

"Are you hungry?" She chirps happily, all energetic and cheerful. "The doctor will come and check on you in a minute. I'll be sure to save a plate for you."

"Well... I'm not really hungry but I could eat." I shrug, noticing I'm not hungry at all.

"We'll, you are being fed through a tube, so maybe we should wait with solid foods for a while anyway." She winks. "Let the doctor decide. We didn't expect you to be this lively this quick."

"Why wouldn't I be? How long was I out for?"

She just smiles, and leans in to wake up Finnley. "Hun, you have got to stop falling asleep in a chair. Your back will not be thankful."

"I wasn't..." Finnley mumbles sleepily, blinking his eyes, confusingly staring at me, back to the chair, before looking towards the nurse. "Oh... Well." He smirks - a devilish hot smirk might I add - and shrugs. "Thanks for bringing me my breakfast here again Annette. Appreciate it."

"You have an appointment with Harvey in an hour, and you have physical therapy right afterwards. I suggest you eat a decent breakfast and than head back to your room in time."

"Sure thing, will do." Finnley nods, smiles, and lifts the cover from the plate of food to uncover whatever they gave him for breakfast.

"You're in hospital too?"

"You sound surprised." Finnley shortly sends me a look, but than refocuses on his food. "What can you remember?"

"Jaimie hitting me in the face." I shrug carelessly. "Dickhead."

Finnley chokes on a bite, staring at me in disbelief. "Jaimie hit you?"

"Well, yeah?"

"When?"

"I don't know? After school? In the locker rooms. He was beating Stan for being with me. Where is Stan anyway? Is he coming to visit soon?"

All Finnley does is frown, his eyes flickering back and forth over my face. He swallows hard - without chewing the bite properly - and shrugs. "I bet he'll visit soon. Once they tell him you woke up."

"So, how long was I out for?"

"A month..." Finnley mumbles, now avoiding eye-contact.

"A month!?" I call out surprised, wondering what the hell Jaimie did to me that caused me to end up blacking out for a month. "What the hell happened?"

Finnley swallows, now fully focusing on eating his breakfast with small bites full of despise.

"Finn." I press out his name in annoyance. "What happened?"

"You had a swelling in your skull caused by extensive fluids." A male voice causes me to tear my eyes away from a flustered Finnley, staring at a guy in a white coat. "Hello Finn, good to see you eating again."

Finnley mumbles something incomprehensive, while the doctor focuses back on me. It's when I first notice my parents standing behind him, both unsurely on how to act. I can tell mom wants to jump me and smother me in one of her hugs. So, I invite her in by widening my arms, already fighting tears because I'm more confused then ever and nobody is really willing to tell me what happened to get me in hospital for a month.

"We kept you in a deep slumber for the time being, allowing your body to do the healing on its own." The doctor is now going through some paper works he fished out of a box at the foot end of the bed. "I'm doctor Sullivan and I've been keeping a close eye on your recovery. I need to express my surprise and relieve over how fast you regained full consciousness. We only stopped the slumber yesterday midday."

"I had a nightmare..." I vaguely remember throwing up, Finn calling the nurses by pushing a button.

"He threw up, Roberto." Finnley tells him simply, confirming my thoughts in the process. "Fluids only, though. Maybe get rid of the tube."

"I understood from Annette you wanted to eat. Are you hungry?"

"I'm not, but I wouldn't mind food..." I shrug, my father rolling his eyes and mom chuckling.

"Always a big appetite." She whispers, still keeping me in her arms protectively.

"It's a good sign." Dr. Sullivan, or Roberto, as Finnley called him, tells us with a smile. "Your charts are fine, you seem fine." He now walks closer to me, grabbing a small flashlight from his chest pocket. "Just follow this light..." He instructs me, shining into my eyes.

I instantly squeeze my eyes shut, trying to open them again. But the light is blinding, and I wish he would stop.

"Still very responsive to light..." He mumbles. "You have a contusion of the brain. It's healing, but you can suffer from side-effects for a while." He moves towards my feet, throwing aside the covers. "Just tell me when you feel anything."

He taps my foot and I nod, he taps the other, and I nod again.

"Any difficulties moving?"

"No, sir." I shrug, wondering why the hell I would have trouble moving anything if Jaimie solely hit me against my head. Or did he do worse?

I allow Dr. Sullivan to do a full check up, and eventually he tells me and my parents I'm doing fine and should be able to leave hospital soon - within a couple of days if everything goes well.

I'm surprised he allowed Finn to answer some basic questions, who eagerly jumped at the opportunity to answer them all, of course correctly.

In a language, or at least using words, that I didn't really understand.

As soon as Dr. Sullivan left, a nurse came in and told us I'm allowed to change into my own clothes, if I disliked the hospital gown.

I do, since it's not that warm, and mom helps me since most muscles - though fine - are a bit weak and sleepy. Maybe It's from the fact I was kept in an artificial coma for a month. It has to be it. I didn't move for a month, of course my muscles lost strength.

"I'll be back around lunch, okay?" Finnley tells me unsurely, fiddling with the sweater he's wearing, and I suddenly regain a memory, of him crying in a room with Nathan present, wearing the exact same sweater. But that's not right, is it?

Finnley was already missing before I met Nathan. Besides, I'm not even on friendly terms with Nathan. So, why was I in a room with Nathan and a crying Finnley?

"Okay, see you at lunch." I follow him while he's leaving the room, stretching his exit a bit while sending me sad looks. But eventually, he is out of the door and mom cups my face.

"Honey, we're so relieved you're awake again."

"Me too, but I'm confused." I admit tiredly. "When did Finnley get home and who was behind his disappearance? Was it Nathan? And where's Stan? I want to see Stan. I think he might still be angry because I didn't come out to Jaimie for him..."

"Honey?" Mom pecks a kiss on my forehead, and dad takes a seat at the foot end of the bed, gently padding my leg in a comforting way. "You appear to miss two years worth of memories." She brings the news carefully, holding onto my face the whole time, forcing me to look at her. "We spoke to the doctors shortly, Finn warned them you seemed to miss memories, a lot of them."

"Wh-what?" I stammer confused. "T-two years?"

"It's okay, honey. We'll get you all the guidance and care you need to help you recover..."

"I miss two years!?" I shake my head to shake off her hands, staring at dad in disbelief. "But I was only out for a month! Finn said so..."

"Yes, honey..." Mom forces me to look back at her again. "You have been in a car accident and you hit your head repeatedly. You're missing two years worth of memories and they're not sure whether you're missing all of them, or most, or some..." She clears her throat. "And they're not sure to what extend they'll come back in time."

"They'll be running tests later today."

"Is that why Finnley is acting as weird as he is?" I wonder aloud, freaking out inside completely. "And is that why Stan isn't here? Please tell me I'm still with Stan."

They share a short look, before mom carefully smiles. "You want us to call Stan?"

"Yes!" I need him to comfort me, to calm me down and tell me everything will be okay. He kept me sane in the past two months... wait, that was two years ago, wasn't it? But still, I know he'll be able to comfort me better than anyone. "I need Stan..." I manage to exclaim, right before I break down crying. Two freaking years of my life, gone, just like that.

I have no idea what is going on. Why is Finnley in hospital two years after he went missing? Was he only recently found? Is it not the fact I miss memories, but the fact he only just got home what is making him act weird and insecure?

"I'll call Stan." Dad pads my leg again. "And demand him to come and comfort you." He shares a look with mom, before he leaves the room to make the call, leaving me behind crying in my mother's arms.

It's all one big mess and I feel even worse than I did when I was just confused.