– Wednesday, April 4th, –

I'm attending a class and we're halfway through it, when my phone starts buzzing in my pocket, indicating that somebody is calling me.

And while everybody who would ever have a reason to call me is currently working or in class themselves, I kind of expected it to be the police with news about anything.

So, when I pull it out to find out it is Stan who is calling, I feel a bit disappointed and sigh deeply; Sam instantly sending me a worried look.

"Cristian, no phones during class, you know the rules." Mr. Pepper tells me with a bit if a disappointed look.

"I thought it could be the cops..." I mutter, putting the phone back in my pocket, refusing to explain that comment any further since I still dislike most of my classmates.

"They still active?" Paul leans in to ask with a whisper, getting another annoyed look from Mr. Pepper.

"Yeah, could inform me whenever they find anything." I shrug, ignoring Mr. Pepper, who keeps his eyes on us while further explaining the theory we're currently presented with about building techniques.

My phone starts buzzing again, and I roll my eyes, contemplating on turning off the buzzing function, reminding myself the police could always call by coincidence, again checking my phone to make sure it's still Stan; who hung up soon only to call again right away.

"I think I have to take this, Mr. Pepper," I tell him, wving my phone in the air, already getting up from my seat. "Could be important."

He wants to protest, but I won't allow him.

"Police, you know..." I hurry out of the classroom, answering Stan by his forth call.

"Finally, Cris..."

"I'm in class, where's the fire?"

"They found Nathan. His mother just called. They found him."

"What?" I feel my eyes widen, my jaw drop, shock hitting me hard in the face.

"They found Nathan. They followed everything from up close, until they found out where they would take him... I don't know much details, but they found him, along with a bunch of others. What if Finn's there too?"

"Then they would call?" I hesitantly answer his question with a question of my own. "They haven't called... nobody called... Is Nathan okay?"

"His mom was still on her way to see him, and I'm on my way right now. I could keep you updated?"

"That would be great. I'm going to drag Sam home with me to wait for any news." And ignore the jealousy because they already located Nathan, and I still don't know if they found Finnley. I'm sure his parents would alert me if they received any news about him, right?

Or at least inform my parents so they could inform me.

I can't believe they managed to find Nathan this quick, while Finnley is still out there somewhere, waiting for help.

"I'll call you soon." Stan hangs up and I stare at the phone for a short while, not sure how to feel right now.

Nathan is one of my best friends, and I'm relieved and happy they found him – along with a bunch of others – but I can't help but feel jealous over Stan because I'm still waiting for news about Finnley.

And besides Stan, nobody tried to reach me today.

– Friday, April 6th, –

I stare aimlessly towards Stan and Nathan, who are curled up on the couch, Stan holding a sleeping Nathan close in a protective hug.

Besides a couple of bruises and a slight shock, he seems to be fine. He's silent, he's scared to death, but he's physically well and they found him in time to prevent him from having to do anything against his will.

The two guys that picked him up, claimed to only work for a guy who bought Nathan, and they swear they have nothing to do with whatever was going on in that house.

Nathan hasn't seen any of the four other guys they found in the house, since he was being kept in lockdown in a small room, where they were starving him.

The other four had been free to move around the house, and out of four, I know from Nathan that two haven't spoken a word to the cops so far, too traumatized and scared to speak up, while the other two have testified. It was only briefly, as they had been in hospital and other then Nathan, they had nobody picking them up, promising to keep an eye on them.

They're still there, and because they're all adults, child protection services aren't capable of helping them out much.

They will receive help, that much is sure.

I don't know much about the other four, except the fact none of them had been Finnley, and that very fact pissed me off to no end.

I'm still consumed by my thoughts, probably looking angry, when the doorbell rings. None of us moves to open the door, and when it rings a second time, Stan turns to look at me.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

"Should I? We're all here, aren't we?" I mutter annoyed, crossing my arms with a pout on my face, sliding down in my seat a bit further.

Stan frowns, but releases Nathan carefully to get up. He keeps his eyes focused on me in question until he leaves the living room and walks into the hallway to answer the door.

I roll my eyes, letting myself fall sideways, curling up on the couch, still angry and upset because Nathan is here, and Finnley isn't.

"Eh, Cris?" Stan calls out, a bit insecure. "Someone's looking for you..."

"Who?" I call out, not really interested, causing Nathan to stir because I guess I called out too loud.

"His name is Arav." Stan reappears in the living room, but only with his head, leaning around the doorpost. "He's one of the guys..." He nods towards Nathan. "You know..."

"He's one of the two who testified," Nathan mutters, rolling around to look at us sleepy. "He knows Finn."

My eyes widen as I stare towards Nathan. "He knows Finn!?" I call out in shock. "Why didn't you say so!?"

"Because he was in hospital and nobody was allowed to bother them until they had enough rest."

I send him an angry look before I push myself up and hurry to the front door to find an Indian looking guy on our doorstep, nervously fiddling with the hem of a too big t-shirt. His jeans are a bit old, worn-off, as are his shoes. He's wearing a vest that seems to be just as old by the looks of the faded colour – though it's in better shape then his jeans and shoes are.

"Cris?" He hesitantly asks, not looking straight at me.

"Yeah, Arav?" I open the front door further, while Stan looks him up and down from beside me. "Wanna come in? Nate is home..."

"I don't really know him..." Arav cocks his head a bit, shrugging. "I know Finn... and he asked me... we promised each other..." He swallows. "I promised him to find you if I would ever come home..." Arav still seems to hesitate, but steps inside carefully nonetheless.

"Please, pretend like you are home." I tell him, trying to comfort him, gesturing for him to head further inside. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Water, please." Arav nods, still fiddling with his shirt as we enter the living room. His eyes instantly find the pile of boxes in the corner of the room, that hold Finnley's stuff. I haven't had much time to put them in the storage or anywhere else. And I guess it's the fact Finnley's name is written on them that Arav keeps staring at them.

I get him the requested water, and he takes the glass, not moving to sit or even remotely act comfortable.

"Wanna sit?" I scratch the back of my head, feeling a bit uneasy.

He nods, sending me a careful smile. "I'm sorry... I'm not used to... I was supposed to ask... permission..."

"No need to," I answer calmly, gesturing towards the couch, noticing Nathan decided to take a seat. "Please, do anything you want."

He nods, smiling again, taking a seat insecurely, looking around the messy living room shortly, until he settles to look towards his feet.

"You know Finn, and you promised to find me."

"Yes." He speaks more certain then he did before, looking up again. "We promised each other to find certain people to tell them we were still alive. Because... you know... we didn't know how long it would take. It could've lasted years before they found either one of us. And we didn't know if the people we loved would still have some hope we were alive..."

"Thank you," I smile carefully. "It means a lot to me that you went through the trouble to find me, two days after you got admitted to hospital yourself, to tell me he... was? Is...?" I sigh, grabbing my head in desperation. "You don't know either, do you? You haven't seen him since January yourself."

Arav takes in a deep breath, releasing it along with a tired sigh. "Finn... was a bit..." He clears his throat. "He wouldn't listen to them. Or... well... I think he wanted to because it would've been better..." He lolls his head in the same moment I look back at him.

"Could you explain that?" Nathan asks carefully. "What was it you guys had to do? What did he refuse to do?"

"They... we're... we were in pornography. They wanted Finn to do jobs too, but he wasn't in the right state of mind. He..." Arav looks back and forth between Nathan and me, before he looks back to the floor. "He kept crying, he was so depressed that it wouldn't have given them the results they wanted. They tried, on several occasions, they even started giving him meds, but he wouldn't take them, or spit them out when they forced him to. If he had to, he would make himself throw up as soon as possible..."

That does sound like rebellious Finnley. The part of him that would never just do anything people wanted him to do.

"They sold him, do you know who they sold him too?"

"I heard a name... Well, Shawn heard a name, Affonso, but that's all we know. We're not even sure if he's the one who bought him. Like I said, Finn was pretty much useless, and the only way Roberto could earn money off of him, was by selling him. I think otherwise he would've killed Finn. He just rather wanted back the money he previously paid."

"So, they sold him, they didn't kill him, right?"

"Roberto got money, so they didn't kill him, I assume." Arav takes in a deep breath. "There's something else I needed to tell you."

"And that is?"

"Finn asked me to tell you it has been Sydney all along. Jeff? He was never the guy who was in charge. It was Sydney. I have no idea who they are, but that's what he wanted us to tell you."

"We kind of figured out Sydney had a part in it..." I mutter, now fiddling with my fingers myself, feeling a bit restless. "Arav, be honest with me. Do you think they'll be able to find Finnley?"

"I think they will. He's a smart guy, and he was thinking of ways to contact you, or the police, or whatever. It's a really dangerous organisation that we were in and I have no idea where they took him too. But yeah, he'll figure something out."

"So, he had enough will and strength to find a way out of it? Because you just told us he had been crying, he was depressed..." Stan joins in, as Nathan settles to lean into his hold tiredly.

"There was only one thing on his mind..." Arav smirks, and it feels weird to see him genuinely smirk, but the look he sends me tells me enough.

"I'm the one thing, right?"

"Yeah, he wasn't talkative, unless he was drunk, but whenever he did speak, he told us about you, and how you're his reason to go on."

And that small fact lights up my world. Only slightly, but it's a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just the little push of hope I need. Finnley is out there somewhere, desperately trying to find a way back to me.

And that's all I needed to know. It's all I needed to keep going myself too.

I don't know how long it will take, I just know when he comes back, I have to be there for him.

* * * * *

Shortly after Arav left, the happy feelings that came as soon as he told me I'm Finnley's motivation to come home again disappeared again.

Because, facing facts, Stan and Nathan are still cuddling on the couch – Nathan again sleeping – while Finnley isn't here with me.

I called Oliver because I felt like I needed to get away from them before I was going to start a fight with my mood, but he told me he was actually on a date with Alex.

Who'd figure; Oliver and Alex actually dating.

Somehow, the two don't seem to fit as a couple in my mind, but then again, I feel jealous and lonely and I was kind of hoping Oliver could hug the loneliness away. I guess he's too busy cuddling with another guy, so I actually decided to step out of the world of gay couples in the hopes of forgetting about my own boyfriend still being missing, by calling Sam and Felix to ask them to go out with me.

They, thankfully, were up for a night of fun.

Sam even seemed to have made it into his mission to cheer me up. Because as soon as the two of them picked me up, they both noticed I needed someone to cheer me up.

It's why I now find myself in the club, drunk out of my mind, swaying back and forth, emotionally staring at the VIP booth on the side that I saw Finnley in over half a year ago. The first time I saw him after I left him, telling him I didn't ever want to see him again.

I wish I could recall some of the anger I felt back then, because it would sure be a lot easier to take my mind off of the mental pain I feel right now.

How I wish I would've never realised my feelings for Finnley, or guys in general.

Thinking about that; the only thing that helped me through everything the last time Finnley was missing, was my relationship with Stan.

I don't have that now.

I don't have anyone unconditionally looking out for me, loving me, distracting me on some occasions.

And it's selfish that I wish I would still have him in the same way, since I know I don't love him the way I love Finnley. Since he makes a perfect couple with Nathan and he deserves more then I could give him.

And then, I find Sam's eyes looking at me in worry, sadness, obviously not knowing what to do with me anymore, other then taking me home before I drink more then I can handle.

But the last thing I want right now, is go back home, find Nathan and Stan together, and watch them while I'm alone.

I don't want to be confronted with them any longer. I don't think I can handle it. I will fight them, I will blame them for all sort of things they have nothing to do with.

I would even blame Nathan for being safe, and that very fact could ruin my friendship with both of them.

I would be left without friends if I'd let my jealousy get the best of me.

So, instead of allowing Sam to take me home, I grab my stuff and grab a cab to the train station.

I know I shouldn't be alone right now, especially in the middle of the night with Jeff probably out here somewhere, waiting to hurt me.

But I'm drunk, and I'm not paying any attention to the dangers, other then holding my panic button nonstop until I'm safe inside the train; heading back home.

To my parents, to the place where everything went to hell. To the place that at least feels safe for now, because I would have my parents close-by.