Now I don't usually feel the need to add warnings to my work. This is because blood and violence are expected in this type of story. However, due to personal experiences, I did find part of this chapter extremely difficult to write.

If you find it difficult to read about mental health issues, more specifically in this case a brief touch on depression and in-depth descriptions of panic attacks then I recommend you either read this with caution or skip the chapter altogether. I wrote this chapter so that if people wanted to skip it then they would not miss out on important events.

If you want to read the chapter up until the triggering events I will indicate when it might be wise to stop.

Eh I'm sure its fine but I just wanted to be safe.

Sorry for taking you out of the atmosphere but I felt that this was important.

Enjoy the rest of the story.

~*~

I woke up to the peaceful birdsong filtering through my window in harmony with the rushing rivers nearby. The sun was high in the sky and I felt ready to properly start the day.

Trying to clear my head of yesterday's events, I refreshed my face with cool water and prepared for training.

I stepped through my door and made my way back to the archery field. Striding down the winding stone paths, I caught a glimmer of silver in the corner of my eye. A swirling mass of ebony hair, fair skin and silver flowed through. As I made my way closer to the elleth I discovered that it was none other than Lady Arwen who appeared to be practicing her sword technique. The sword itself was stunning as it glinted in the sunlight. While I was stood there, mesmerized by the flourish of silver and ebony, Lady Arwen had noticed me staring and stopped to inspect me.

"Ah, lle naa Caladhiel" She spoke out in a voice as smooth as silk.

{"Ah, you are Caladhiel"

"Mae l'ovannen Arwen, lle megil naa vanima" I marveled.

{"Hello Arwen, your sword is beautiful"

"Diola lle, ta nae y' anna waane tuulo' idril, a' amin atar ar' sii', a' amin," She responded with equal grace as she held her blade out for me to inspect in greater detail, "lle Lotesse kwara ta, manka lle merna"

{"Thank you, it was a gift passed from Idril, to my father and now, to me, you may hold it, If you wish."

I eagerly reached out to take the sword to take a closer look at it and immediately noticed that the sword was beautifully balanced which I knew would make the owner a formidable opponent when used correctly. The beautifully polished metal gleamed in the sunlight and the gold had been grooved in a beautiful leaf pattern which wrapped delicately around the hilt and the theme continued past the hilt and into the shape of the sword itself. I looked up to Arwen, seeking permission to try her sword and in return. She gave a swift nod and with that, I swung the sword across the front of my body and practiced a few maneuvers that I knew. It elegantly cut through the air. It looked so delicate that I could scarcely imagine how it would fare in a fight. Wary of it's gentle appearance, I held out the sword for Arwen to take back.

"Essa naa hadhafang ar' ta nae elea nir.' dagora," Arwen said, "Hadhafang is not as fragile as you may think."

{"It's name is Hadhafang and it has seen many battles"

She then met my eyes with a look that held may emotions; sorrow, regret, a glimmer of wonder and optimism as if she knew more than I did. This left me feeling puzzled and curious. What did fate have in store of me and the rest of this world? Perhaps I did not want to know.

I was pulled out of my reverie by Arwen's next words;

"sii' Amin caela aut-, amin naa kela-a coi- yassen Galadriel ar' amin-aya anta a' desiel ten' i' lema." She said before sheathing Hadhafang.

{"Now I have to go, I am going to live with Galadriel and I need to prepare for the journey"

"Ah yes, namaarie Arwen, caela y' seasu lema" I left her with these parting words and made my way to the archery fields.

{"...farewell Arwen, have a pleasant journey"

***

Now you might want to stop here but you can continue for a little bit.

I stepped through the trees and scanned the clearing. There was no one else here.

Solitude. The feeling was more familiar than I cared to admit. I began to feel a hunger, a deep need to belong somewhere. Whilst I could appreciate the hospitality of my newest residence, this was not what I envisioned the rest of my life to be. I began to with that time could pass more quickly so that I could continue my quest and allow a comforting distraction from the missing element of my life. I wish that I had the sense of comradery shared by those dwarves that I had briefly met not so long ago. Fortunately, I had the opportunity for a second glimpse of what family truly meant. I would just have to prove myself first. Notching an arrow and standing side on from the target, I took a deep breath and allowed myself to be lost in a sea of senses.

I could hear my heart thundering like a charging horse, feel the warmth of the light filtering through the nearby trees. The bitterness of adrenaline filled my mouth as I breathed out and the scent of the nearby blossoms filled my nose. All of these things dulled in comparison to my laser focus, pinpointing that brilliant gold spot swimming in a sea of blue, red and white. I took another deep breath and pulled back the bowstring.

Then everything stopped.

Nothing mattered anymore. Who I am, where I came from, what I'm going to do, what I have already done. People I've met and have yet to meet. None of it mattered.

Even time itself stopped. I let my breath go and release my arrow. Suddenly everything sped up as the fletches stroked my face but I was transported to a place I could once call home.

I was staring at a stranger, a child yet I could remember this moment as clear as day. As if looking through a window, I had a reserved view of everything for I had already live through this. A gentle hand ran across her delicate, pale cheek and the owner of that hand cooed sweet nothings to the child. I could feel the flutter of forgotten skin across my own cheek. I raised my hand to my face and was met with a wetness. In confusion I pulled my hand back to see fresh tears on my fingertips. My heart swelled with sorrow from a lost memory. I sucked in a solemn breath but was instantly snatched from my trance.

Sensitive content ahead. If you are sensitive to writing about triggering events I advise that you stop reading now. You won't miss out on any key events.

A single word fell from my lips as I collapsed. It was so quiet yet so clear. But I knew that had anyone else been within earshot, the sharp thwack of the arrow burying itself dead in the center of the target would easily have drowned out my voice. As soon as I allowed the word to spill from my heart, it burst into a mass of woe and grief. My heart was shattered into a thousand pieces, just barely staying intact enough to keep functioning.

I grasped at my chest and fell sideways. As my head met the grass, I found myself unable to breathe evenly. I felt like I was drowning all over again and I began to panic. Pain flared up in my lungs and heart which began to choke me. I curled up into a fetal position and began to spasm as my lunges tried to claw at what breath I had left. I could hear sharp, raspy breaths but it was distorted as if I was underwater. My ears started to ring louder and louder. The shrill screaming in my head took over. I could feel fear set in.

I was going to fall apart and die.

My skull was splintering and my face was cracking apart like broken marble.

I looked around but saw nothing.

I felt nothing but pain.

I could taste blood.

The ringing never ceased. It felt like I was stuck like this forever; dying over and over again.

I heard the distant call of my name somehow pierce through the ringing but I couldn't move myself to react to It.

My rasping breaths merged into one sound. There was no pause between inhaling and exhaling; just a scratching, scraping noise that couldn't possibly be coming from my mouth.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't move. All I could do was violently thrash about.

I suddenly left the ground and heard wind rush past my ears. I still couldn't breathe or stop flinching. I couldn't feel anything but I could hear a soothing deep voice humming to me. I didn't recognise the tune but I knew it was supposed to calm me. It was somehow working. The rasping stopped. So did the spasms.

But the rasping stopped. I was paralyzed in fear.

A dark red smothered my sight and the last thing I felt was a single tear run down my face.

Why was I always so helpless.

Why was I always the one who had to be carried; always having to be saved, having to be rescued.