Chapter Twenty-One

Faith

Her hand was still pretty hurt and aching, so Petra thought it would be useless to go to Campus. Worse, she hadn't slept since her terrifying encounter the night before so she needed to do so in the morning. When she woke up, after lunch time, she was still pretty shaken.

Part of her wanted to dissect the phenomenon and do her usual self-pep talk in which she convinced herself that it had been another one of her vivid nightmares. Another part of her didn't want to go through that again and wanted to not even think about it, not even acknowledge it. She was completely and utterly fed up with it.

After a quick snack, she put on a pair of skinny jeans, a large sweater and a pair of sneakers, only to then devote a lot of time trying to stylish her hair into something less post-traumatic and more feminine and fashionable. After a lot of frustrating failed attempts, she decided to just wear it wild and tomboy-ish. She would definitely need help coming up with some sort of style for it, probably from Olivia or even Natasha.

Her heart ached thinking of both of them. She missed her best friend, who would probably get a pair of scissors and cut it even more, miraculously getting it to look cool and edgy. She also found herself missing Natasha, who was definitely the type of girly girl capable of making anything look pretty.

As it was, it just looked exactly how she felt - ruined.

She shrugged. Nothing she could do about it for now, her heart wasn't in it and she lacked the energy and talent to pull anything off at the moment.

Petra bravely left her apartment anyway, even if she hated her appearance. She needed healing and to be distracted and cheered up so she thought of the boys - while she would love to spend some time with Eli and Kyle, part of her wished only Harry would be there, longing for another afternoon with no conversation, no effort or pressure of any kind, no pleasantries and judgement, only pure and therapeutic distraction.

When she knocked on their door, she was surprised to see a girl opening it. For a moment, she even thought she had knocked on the wrong door. The girl smiled wide, she looked very friendly. Her hair was very long and straight, in a beautiful shade of strawberry blonde. No doubt her best feature, that and her charming smile, since the rest of her was very plain and unremarkable. Her eyes were a common shade of brown, her skin pale but, unlike Petra's, had a very healthy glow and tone to it. She was taller than Petra and also very skinny, dressed very casual yet fashionable. A pretty girl that turned beautiful when she smiled.

"Hey," the girl said in a cheery tone, "are you a friend of Kyle and Eli's? Maybe Harry's?"

"Erm...," Petra stuttered, caught completely off guard. "I'd like to think I'm a friend of the three of them."

"Oh, awesome! Come on in."

Petra obeyed, though wondering if the girl even had the authority to let her in to begin with.

"The boys are in the living room. I was on my way to get drinks. Do you want one?"

"No, no thanks," Petra replied, before making her way to meet the guys.

"Hey, Petra!" Eli cheered.

Petra smiled and greeted them back.

Harry was on his usual spot, playing his addictive game and raised his hand in recognition of her arrival. Eli and Kyle were sitting on the big pillows on the floor, as they usually did, Kyle's guitar in Eli's hand while Kyle seemed to be in the middle of writing something on his notebook.

Eli was smiling at her with kindness, but she could detect a little effort on his part to keep it, for his eyes didn't quite match it. He seemed to be trying to hide an expression of surprise or concern. Kyle, on the other hand, wasn't making any such effort. In a second, upon laying his eyes on her, his expression changed from a genuine smile to surprise, to a look of worry that she'd never seen on him before. It didn't suit the usually happy-go-lucky guy he was meant to be and it made him look on the verge of anger.

"It's my hair, right?" she asked, feeling embarrassed and self-conscious, her hand automatically going to her head to mess with it. She felt so ugly at that moment, it was obvious they hated it.

"No, not exactly," Eli replied, sounding honest.

Petra didn't give him time to continue though, "It's horrible, I know." She chuckled, trying to make it look like she was fine with it, like it was a joke. "Don't know what I was thinking. I need to go to a hairdresser to try and save its dignity."

"It's not that-" Eli began, before being interrupted again.

"What happened to your hand?" Kyle asked, without a hint of a smile.

"Oh, I..." She stupidly stared at her bandaged hand. She'd forgotten all about it, she was so used to its prickling pain by then. "I cut myself on accident, it's no big deal, hardly even hurts anymore," she lied.

"You look... sick, Petra," Eli continued, now not even making an effort, concern was plain on his face. Kyle seemed to agree, for he immediately nodded at these words, his frown deepening, as if he was actually getting mad at her. "Are you sure you're alright? Do you need anything?"

Petra needed them to return to normal, that's what she needed. She needed to forget everything, including that she looked like a disaster. She knew that already, that's why she was there to begin with. But who was she kidding? It was obvious they would notice it, obvious they would find her weird and repugnant. She hated that they worried though and asked questions and insisted on talking about it, even if it was, in a way, heartwarming, it made her feel uncomfortable, pathetic, weak and ugly.

Still, she managed to fake a smile and another light chuckle.

"I'm okay, don't worry. I just caught a little cold and feel a little tired, nothing to worry about. I'm pretty fine. Thanks for asking though."

"Well, if you need anything, just let us know. Even if it is just a ride to the pharmacy or a hot soup, we'll get it for you, no problem," Eli offered, his goofy smile returning to his features and his demeanor more relaxed. Her explanation seemed to ease his concern quite a bit, he seemed more than happy to accept it. Kyle still looked just as serious as before, eyeing her with suspicion. It was pretty obvious he hadn't believed a word of what she said, but chose to pretend he did.

"Thank you so much," she replied. "I will, promise."

The girl that had opened the door for her entered the room, startling her for a second. She had forgotten all about her. The girl carried several drinks and was quick to hand one to each of the guys, keeping one to herself. After that, she sat on the floor, right next to Kyle, so close to him that their legs touched.

She looked at him with warmth on her eyes and smiled. Kyle returned the gesture and Petra was hit with the sudden urge to run.

"Oh, that's right, Petra this is Gwen. Gwen, this is Petra," Eli introduced. "Petra is a fifth floor neighbor, Gwen is a third floor one."

"Nice to meet you," Gwen greeted with a huge smile, capable of lighting up any dark cavern and warm up any frozen heart.

Petra hated that she was so nice, she wanted to dislike her so badly.

"Likewise," she lied again. Petra stole a quick glance at Harry, searching for some sort of support, but he didn't even seem like he was listening at all.

"We are writing a song together," Gwen informed. "I write music too, just like Kyle." The blonde girl melted when she said his name, gifting him with a longing stare and patting him lightly on the leg. Kyle didn't react, he kept studying Petra, who was beginning to feel her stomach churning and her heart dropping to her feet. For some reason, she felt very sad at the scene, although realistically she had no reason to. She also couldn't decide who she wanted to slap harder - Kyle or Gwen, even though she had absolutely no right to.

"Do you want to join in?" Eli asked, playing a little with the guitar. "It's pretty fun."

Petra just wanted to flee, she couldn't bear the way Kyle looked at her nor the way Gwen looked at him.

"Thanks, really, I would love to, honestly, but I just remembered I have this important paper due tomorrow and I haven't even started it yet," she lied once more, giggling like the idiot she felt, trying to look casually embarrassed. "Silly me. Better go home and work on it."

"Are you sure?" Kyle asked, not out of politeness, since it was pretty clear on his face that, once again, he didn't believe her.

Why did she have the impression that he could read her so well? He wasn't supposed to, they hadn't known each other long enough.

"Yes, pretty much," she replied, avoiding his eyes at all costs while she walked herself out of the living room. "I'll come back if I finish it early."

"Anytime," Eli said, friendly as ever.

Petra decided to leave as quickly as possible, before Kyle could ask her anything else.

Seeing as her brief stay at the boys' home had been anything but relaxing, Petra returned to her own apartment, grabbed her laptop and a jacket and left the building. If she wasn't going to stay with the guys, then she wasn't going to stay at all.

She decided to settle in the same coffee shop where Eli had once brought her, after the tunnel, ordered a cappuccino and turned her laptop on. Might as well make use of her time with something interesting.

Although she had promised herself that she wouldn't think about it anymore, she couldn't help but open her chat with Olivia and go through the many links she'd sent her. She couldn't help herself, it was like the subject called to her. Well, it wasn't that surprising, she bitterly thought, after all, she did live in it.

A few links caught her attention, for they had the words "priest" and "insane" on them. Petra opened the first link and read the article, fascinated. Like most of the articles Olivia had found, this one was quite old, from an ancient local newspaper. It spoke of the unfortunate case of Father Banes, a Catholic Priest that, according to the journalist and the interviewed people, had fallen into insanity.

Apparently, Father Banes had a revelation and yelled at anyone who could hear him that the Jackson Building was a devil's trap, that it was cursed and possessed. He had been seen more than once in front of the entrance, shouting into the streets of how the place had to be destroyed, that it had the Child of the Damned in it and how he could feel it, how there was witchcraft and black magic involved.

The man cried about it every day, he became obsessed, until eventually he was deemed insane and taken into an institution, where he eventually perished. He believed his claims until his last breath.

Petra became very interested in Father Banes' story. She read all the articles about him that Olivia had sent her and even researched for a few of her own on the internet.

She was captivated by his story, because she could relate to an extent and she found his crazy ramblings extremely intriguing. It was an interesting coincidence that the priest had chosen that building to deem as cursed.

His story got to her in such a way that she was determined to investigate and find out as much as she could about him. She wanted to know if he had a history of mental instability or, as the papers seemed to insinuate, his downfall had been sudden and out of nowhere.

To find out more about him or of him, she had to go to the people that knew him or of him like no one else - the Church. She cringed a little at the thought, she hadn't stepped inside one for at least a decade, it was sure to be awkward and uncomfortable.

Petra had read the name of the Church Father Banes used to serve and then searched the address. The city was a relatively small one, she could easily get there on foot.

There was no reason why she shouldn't get to it that very same day and so she finished her drink and started her small journey.

It was a sunny, yet chilly day, and Petra actually enjoyed her peaceful walk around the city. It was very relaxing and she discovered new stores, gardens, shops and coffee shops she hadn't seen before, while she interacted with her fellow citizens by asking for directions. She should've done something like this before, for it really helped her feel healthier and more grounded. She'd been so imprisoned in her terrifying little world, she'd almost forgotten there was a wide, noisy, colorful, normal world out there waiting.

When she finally reached the Church, her breath was momentarily taken away. It was beautiful, like most places of prayer and worship are and felt holy and sacred. On the inside it was even more impressive, with all the wooden benches and golden finishes. The artwork was always breathtaking inside Catholic Churches, haunting images of faith, sacrifice and love. She had always felt mesmerized by the mixture of humble materials such as wood and stone and the richness of the art, colorful glass, gold and jewels.

Instantly upon entering, she felt guilty and out of place, as if she was unworthy of being there. Petra felt a compulsion to kneel and pray and ask for forgiveness, but again, felt underserving of it.

As she walked deeper into the Church, a whole new set of symptoms took over her. With each new step, her chest seemed to compress, like her ribs were actively trying to crush her lungs, making it difficult to breathe. With that ache in her chest also came nausea and she felt the incredible need to throw up. She decided to sit in one of the wooden benches and close her eyes. After what felt like an hour, she opened them again and felt like a whole new person in a whole new place. It was like her vision had improved, like her lungs had finally opened. She felt lighter, less sickly.

As if on cue, the current Priest of that Church walked inside from a small side door. Noticing her presence, he smiled and nodded politely, before turning to face the alter. Petra took a deep breath, got up and walked to him, each step echoing against the stunning walls, making her feel even more uncomfortable.

"May I help you?" he asked.

Petra nodded. "Yes, Father, I... I would like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind."

"Of course. Anything." He smiled again, with kindness. "Are you looking for some guidance? Many are those who wander and get lost, but the Lord embraces all and guides all His children back to the right path."

"Yes," she stuttered, feeling awkward. "It's, erm, something like that."

"So what do you need?"

"Father, I realize this may seem odd and random but, I was wondering, what can you tell me about the late Father Banes?"

His smile disappeared immediately and so did his gentle demeanor. He turned his back to her and walked towards the alter, as if she'd never been there.

"Do you know about him?" she insisted, following him.

"Yes, of course I do," he replied, a little too abruptly. "The question is, how do you know of him? Why are you asking about him?"

"I need to know everything I can about Father Banes," she explained. "It's really important, I-"

"He is long gone," the priest interrupted. "I never met him, I know nothing."

"Do you know about his last few months? What do you think of what he claimed?"

"Father Banes suffered a terrible fate," he said, avoiding her eyes and walking away from her again. Petra continued to follow.

"But do you believe what he said? Why would he say it, what-"

"I don't know what you want from me," he said, anger now plain in his voice, though it was obvious he was trying to keep his composure and patience. "I told you, I know nothing. Father Banes was ill, he was problematic, he died many years ago."

"But-"

"I don't wish to talk about this anymore. You're welcome to stay and worship."

He turned to leave, but Petra wasn't about to give up so easily. It was obvious the subject bothered him a lot and it was also obvious he knew more than he was admitting but, for some reason, refused to share it with her.

"Please, Father, please," she begged. "I need your help. I need to know what Father Banes knew, I need to know if there is some sort of truth behind it. I live in that building! And I feel, I know, there's something wrong with it. Help me, please."

He turned to face her, so suddenly she almost bumped into him. Kindness was back in his features. He seemed to pity her.

"The kind of help you need, I can't offer. I am sorry," he quietly said. Her heart broke with disappointment. "Father Banes was ill and you..." He sighed. "You should pray and leave. You are corrupted, beyond salvation. At least the kind I can provide."

Her eyes widened in shock. Those words were brutal, they hurt.

"I am sorry but I can't help you."

He left and this time she didn't find the will or strength to stop him.

Disappointed and hurt, Petra walked out of there as quickly as she could.

On her way out, she noticed an old nun, standing by a hidden wooden door close to the exit. She wondered if the woman had heard her exchange with the priest, since she seemed very interested in Petra, her small, dark eyes following her all the way to the exit.