Trigger warning:panic attacks and abuse.
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The tingling spread through my chest, my arms, my torso, then stops at my legs. The ball of fire begins to grow in my chest and spreads like wildfire. I fall to the floor, gripping my chest. My wrist throbs from the handcuff cutting into my wrist. My free hands clenches my chest in agony. My wheezes were being cut short by my soundless screams of pain. I try as best as I could to curl up into a ball to try and relieve any of the pain. Breathing became the impossible and everything I've tried to give myself some sort of comfort fails.

I need Mitch. I need Scott. I just need someone to hold me and tell me it's going to be ok even though it probably won't be.

My body was aching for relief. It felt like hours had passed when my panic attack began to subside. Every muscle in my body was cramping from being in a tight ball. My chest was sore and I was unimaginably exhausted. I still lay there on the cold floor. I look at my wrist that was handcuffed and watch as blood flows down my arm and to the floor making a little puddle. Tears were still streaming down my face but I didn't make a sound. The only sound that could be heard was the buzzing of the single dangling light above the table. All of a sudden, that buzzing stops. Not only was it cold but it was dark now.

I start violently shivering. I bring my free hand to my mouth and breath on it to warm it up but it barley does anything. I want to sit up but I can't. None of my muscles seem to want to work. So I lay there. Hopeless.

Why haven't they come for me?

"They don't want you." I say aloud.

Why wouldn't they? They care about me.

"No they don't. You're worthless. No one cares about you. No one has ever cared about you!"

That's not true!

"Yes it is! You don't deserve to live!"

I stop as I realize my shock of my disappearing sanity. I became infatuated with the dripping blood. Watching as it slowly crawls down my arm leaving behind a dark red path.
I just watch. Feeling numbness cascade over my body. Every drop of blood releases the hurt. The pain.

I hear a few thuds outside the door. My head shoots up. There were some clanks and then the door opens revealing a quite large figure. I push my body under the table away from the figure. My heart, once again, starts to quicken. I hear a click and a light blinds me. I cover my eyes and the light moves away from them. The figure walks towards me and I back up even more. I start whimpering like a child.

"It's ok. I'm not going to hurt you." A deep voice of a man speaks.

He points the flashlight to himself, showing his face. He was a chubby man, chubbier than the guy at the desk when I came in. His hair was a brown and receding. He had a soft look in his eyes.

"My name is Al. What's your name?" He asks kindly.

"R-R-Rachel." I respond.

"Hi Rachel. Nice to meet you. I'm the janitor here. You must be hungry."

He slowly reaches into his back pocket and extends his arm towards me. I hesitantly take it and see that he gave me a snickers bar. I slowly open the package with my teeth and take small bites.

"Can I sit down with you?" Al asks.

I nod my head and watch as he struggles to sit down on the floor. Once he gets into a somewhat comfortable position, he stares off into the distance. I watch him intently to make sure he doesn't try anything.

"Don't tell anybody I did this ok? I'm not supposed to interact with anyone they bring in. They could fire me." Al's voice broke the deafening silence.

"What about the camera up there? Won't they see you?"

"No, when everyone leaves for the day,  they shut off the power. That's why the light is off." He explains.

"Why are you helping if you aren't allowed too?"

"Well because I know what they do to these kids when they bring them in and it's awful. The only reason I'm here is to support my family. This is a good paying job and I need the money. My wife has stage 4 breast cancer. We need the money for treatment."

"Do you have kids?"

"Yup two little angels. They're both girls. A seven year old and a five year old. Here."

Al reaches into his back pocket and retrieves a worn out leather wallet. He opens it and pulls something out. He shines his flashlight on a picture of a woman which I assume is his wife, and two girls.

"This is Caroline on the right." He points to a blonde haired girl with glasses. She had a pretty face and blue eyes.

"That is Holly, there on the left." He points to the other girl with a slightly darker blonde hair and big blue eyes. Her hair is in perfect pigtails and she has a huge smile on her face.

"Then my beautiful wife, Lauren." He points to a women wearing a hat. She has pin-straight blond hair and she was indeed beautiful.

I couldn't help but let one tear escape from my eye.

That's a beautiful family. I wish I had one like that.

"My youngest always talks about how she wants to be a dancer when she grows up. She always wearing a tutu and twirling around the house." He chuckles softly and focuses on the picture.

"She reminds me of myself when I was her age. I would do the same thing." I say.

He chuckled once and I wipe my eyes.

"You have a beautiful family." I say.

"They're the best. God has surely blessed me with them. Well I better get going. It was nice talking to you Rachel."

He gathers himself and gets up. He walks out of the door and that's when I let a sob escape out of my mouth.

I am so tired of crying. I don't know if I'll ever stop.

I lay my head down on the floor and cry myself to sleep.

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"Hey get up!"

All of a sudden, pain went through my stomach. I yelp in pain and open my eyes. Connie was their and I could tell that she was in a bad mood. But when is she not in a bad mood. She swings her leg back and kicks my stomach again. The air was knocked out of me and I couldn't get up.

"Oh for God's sake!" Connie yells.

She grabs something from her pocket and she removes the handcuff from the leg of the table. My arm that was attached, falls to the floor as I struggle to gasp for air. Connie grabs the back of my shirt and lifts me about a foot from the ground and throws me in front of her.

"Get up you lazy bitch!"

"Give me.....a minute....I.....can't breathe." I say in between gasps.

I am able to refill my lungs and stand up. I hunch over a little because my stomach was still throbbing from being kicked. My hand rest on the spot where she kicked me. She grabs my wrist and takes the handcuff off revealing a deep cut all around my wrist and dried blood around it.

"Where am I going?" I ask.

"Someone came to adopt you."

What? Who wants to adopt me? Oh my God what if it's my fake mom. Fuck no. It better not be.

Connie opens the door and I see that my bag is on the floor. I pick it up and immediately search for my phone as we walk down the hallway. I finally find it and try to turn it on but it wouldn't. It was dead.

They went through my phone. I fucking knew it.

"Can I use the bathroom?" I ask.

Connie stops and rolls her eyes and points to a door.

"It's right there. Hurry up, I haven't got all day." She complains.

I walk to it and enter, immediately taken back at my reflection in the mirror. I was a sickly pale color and my eyes were bloodshot and puffy bags were under them. My hair was a knotty mess and my arm was crusted with dried blood. I relieve myself and move to the sink. I wash my hands and force myself to put my injured wrist under the water. I bite down on the hem of my shirt to help with the pain. I scrape the dried blood from my arm and splash my face with water. I grip the sides of the sink and look into the mirror. I was disgusted at what I was looking at. A worthless human.

I jump when Connie bangs on the door three times.

"What are you doing in there! You're taking forever! God damn!"

I dry my face off and walk back out to the prison-like hallways. Connie shoves me forward and into the elevator. We reach the front desk and once again the man named Bert is there clicking away.

"Where are they?" Connie asks plainly.

"Outside." He replies.

My heart begins to race and I can feel another panic attack coming on. I cover my wrist with my hand so they won't see. Connie shoved me forward and we reach the doors that lead outside. It seems like forever since I've seen the sun.

Connie goes I front of me and opens the door and gently places her hand on my shoulder as she pushes me through.

She putting on her alternate façade. She's so full of bull shit.

We finally get outside and at first I was blinded by the sun. As my eyes adjusted I could start making out two figure in front of me. Then they came into full view.

No......fucking.......way.

Standing in front of me, hand in hand was Mitch and Scott. Their faces were a mix of worry and relief.

I cover my mouth with my hand and start crying. But not because I was sad. But because I was so shocked and happy. Happy; a feeling I thought I would never endure again.

I half run half walk to them and they meet me halfway. I crash into both of them and we hug tightly. I heard Mitch let out a mix of a sigh of relief and a sob.

"You guys came back for me." I say.

"Of course we did. I hope you don't mind that we adopted you." Mitch says.

"Are you fucking kidding me. Of course not." I say.

They both chuckle. I step back from them.

"Can you please get me out of here." I say.

"Yeah let's go." Scott says.

He laces Mitch's fingers with his and Mitch holds my hand as well but very tightly. As if he will never let me out of his sight. That I might disappear at any second.

We reach the car and Mitch sits with me in the back. We don't bother putting our seat belts on. I cuddle into his side as he hold me in his arms. Planting kisses every now and then on my head. I catch glimpses of Scott glancing at me in the rear view mirror. He looked like he was in absolute awe. Like he thought they would never see me again.

My eyes become heavy and I let them close. Mitch's body heat warming me up.

I'm feel safe. I am safe. Nothing can hurt me. Nobody will hurt me

So I thought.

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Hey y'all how you doing. Sorry for the wait but I've been busy. Come t down your fav part or least fave part. What did you think about that last sentence? Does it foreshadow anything? Guess you'll have to wait and see. Remember if you're not smiling you're doing it wrong!
❤️Sofia