It all started that night I prayed to the Lord asking him do I have meaning in this life if so give me a sign. There I sat in the sanctuary of church camp waiting as the darkness of the room over grew me. My head starting to ache as the room temperature started to drop as the others prayed. Then the preachers wife called upon and said " Dear child do not worry for God has many plans for you in the future." And it was there I began to cry not of grief or sadness but in joy. That year my life was just all a big a rush so many nervous breakdowns and crying a lot. At the moment I didn't have a quote on quote Dad well I did I just didn't claim him. He's was also being mean to me and my mother when he drank the acholic substance which was now a very bad addiction for him. He said it made him feel better. Did I believe him no because it didn't make us feel better. So that last night at Church camp was the best day of my life feeling the presence of God by my side was amazing but then it all ended when I came home. A week had flew by so fast it felt almost non-existent but I never forgot how God told me I have meaning. After returning back to my home I started to read Psalms in the Bible and took notes on at least ten verses a day. One night I was so tired I fell asleep reading Psalms. The sleep was deep and relaxing but then...... everything changed. In my dream I saw myself sleeping and then everything went white. Not knowing any better I thought it was normal but then I felt somebody else's presence I turn around to see a figure with a white robe with a hood over it's head lined with gold stitching. The figure didn't have a face so I was startled but the it spoke to me with soft words saying " don't worry child for I have you." After I woke up I looked for him it felt  like I had such powerful power but yet I could not use it. So then from there things went up a different level. I told my mother of my dream and was amazed she then took me to church that Sunday and I asked the preachers wife what the figure in my dream was after I had told her. Well she said " The Holy Ghost " the name sent a chill down my spine in excitement but I still didn't know much about him. So I kept going to church looking for an answer until I made one myself​ that the Holy Ghost comes to those who follow Jesus. I continued to attend church the rest of the year. My life was great that year blow the ram's horn for the Feast of Trumpets and going to Winter Fest. It was great and then again on the new year life went back to spiraling down again. At this point I had no care for my dad what so ever for he had gotten worse by the day. Not knowing what to do with him I turned to God in prayer but then I started to grow out of praying and gave up on my dad. Sooner or later it was time for church camp again and I was so happy to go. I had made new friends and got to know some family I didn't even know I had. Life was great having late night worship and watching movies. It was the dream it was like la la Land but only better. From there on out I grew to have a strong sense of fake. When at school I faked my happiness and I faked my smiles. Why though I mean I seemed to be happy didn't I. I guess not because then my dad continued to fail and break my heart. No love towards him and he blames it all on me. No I won't hear it for I know it's a lie if anyone lies in the family it's my dad. He gets away with just about anything in life and that's how I got my little half brother. He had cheated on my mom but my little brother is nothing like him he's nice and caring. He loves me and he looks up to me. Now I feel great about my future in life hoping things will get better.