TW: Swearing (I think)

We've reached Crutchie's selling spot. It's near some of the big offices in Midtown, and after a few minutes of watching the boys selling their papes I can see what Crutchie meant when he said that a limp gets paid more handsomely than a newsie like Race.

"Alright, kid," Race said after about a half hour, "Your turn now!"

I turn to him.

"What?"

"You idiot, he can't speak," Crutchie said.

No, but I can sign.

Race is staring at me, confused at the motions I made with my hands. But I did it because I knew hewould understand.

"You... you can sign?"

I nod. I know a lot of people can't understand it, but I figured some of the white-collar workers might.

Crutchie thinks for a moment, and I can tell he's figuring it out. "I'm a little rusty, Cassio, but I can try it out if you'd like?"

Go ahead. If you really stuff it up I won't laugh.

"Sorry to interrupt... whatever this is, but d'you wanna work or not?" Race says.

"Just give us a sec, I've gotta do this," Crutchie replies. "Here goes nothin'." Where'd you learn to sign?

I smile. Well, that made sense to me. I learned from my Father, he was mute too. You?

Crutchie shifted, he was obviously uncomfortable answering this question – and considering I already knew the answer, I understood why.

A friend taught me, a long time ago.He turned, walking further down the street, away from us.

"What'd you do to make him angry, kid?" Race asks.

I took the paper and pen out of my pocket again. I just asked a question.

He laughs, patting me on the back. "What the hell sorta question did ya ask, Cassio? I'se only ever seen that kid angry once, when the Delanceys' beat up some boy on the street! So I'll ask yous again," his face hardens, and I hop back from him. "What did yous do to make him angry?"

I quickly underline my previous answer, trying to tell him that was all I did.

"Look, I'se understand you don't wanna tell me, but we'se all real protective of that kid, and I'se don't wants some newcomer hurtin' him."

I won't hurt Crutchie, Race. Not on purpose.

"I'se don't care if its on purpose or not, you ain't gonna hurt 'im, y'hear?"

I nod.

"Good. Now let's help ya sell some papes."

He runs off to grab Crutchie while I grab a few papes outta my bag.

So, how am I supposed to do this?I write.

"Well, I got a few ideas. We can hawk 'em for ya, then give ya the money, or we can find some cardboard and write up the best headline on the pape for ya," Crutchie offers. I'm surprised he's talking to me after I'd upset him.

Can we try both?I ask Crutchie.

Sure.He recites our silent conversation to Race, who nods his agreement.

We step out onto the street – the street traffic is just starting to pick up, so hopefully we'll get a couple good sells.

"Extra, extra, all statues in New York set to come down!" A young man rushes over and pays for the pape I'm holding up.

I quickly scribbled down a few words and held the piece of paper up to Race.

"Well, Cassio, if we'se don't lie, we don't get paid. Besides, you don't have to lie all the time, only for the stinkin' headlines like this one," he explains.

I took my paper back, writing one more statement. My Father taught me not to lie.

The boys both laugh, Race patting me on the back.

"As a newsie, if you don't lie, ya starve," says Crutchie.

Race puts an arm around my shoulder. "Now let's sell the rest o' yer papes!"

***

By the time we've finished it's nearly dark, so Race takes me back to meet up with Jack. Specs is doing the same with Davey – Jack wants to know how the new kids went on their first day, apparently.

The streets of New York look dark and grim, but once I start walking, I can see so many lively places – the shops are closed, but there are kids outside talking and playing, tap dancing to the music from the bar on the corner, in no choreographed way whatsoever, just having fun.

Race's voice snaps me out of my thoughts yet again. "Heya Jack!"

I look over to see Jack, Les and Davey running towards us. "So how'd Cassio go on his first day?"

Crutchie leads me away while Race talked to Jack. I look back and see Davey talking to Les.

I turn back to Crutchie. I haven't seen him in so long. I just want to open my mouth and tell him what really happened that night – but I can't. I know that. I can't hurt him any more than I already have.

His hands start moving, and I only just catch what he's saying. Have you got somewhere to sleep tonight?

I shake my head. I'll be fine though.

Why don't you come back to the Lodging House?

I think for a moment. I want to, I really do, but if they found out I wasn't who I said I was, what would they do? I wouldn't have any money, I was running out as it was. And besides, I don't know that I could sleep in a room with a bunch of boys... I couldn't risk what happened the last time. I can't do that again.

He taps my shoulder, looking concerned.

And, of course, I decided to change the subject. I'm sorry I upset you earlier.

He smiles. God, how I've missed that smile. It's okay. I should've known you'd ask. Besides, it was a long time ago now, I need to get over it.

I frown. It seems too important to you to just forget, or get over.

Crutchie looks down. "Yeah, well..."

"What the hell, Cassio?!"

I turn and see Jack storming towards me, Race, Davey and Les running after him.

"Jack, wait! I'se didn't finish explaining!" Race yells.

"I thought we told ya not to hurt 'im!" Jack points to Crutchie.

Well, Race did, after I accidentally hurt him. Crutchie laughs.

"What? What'd he say?"

"Nothin', don' worry, Jackie," Crutchie says.

"No, no, I wanna know what he said, Crutch. I deserve to know, since he upset you like that."

Crutchie still refuses to answer.

"What'd you say? What'd yous say to hurt 'im like that earlier, huh?"

I pat my pockets, searching for the paper and pen, and curse (in my head, of course.) I must've dropped it earlier.

"You gonna answer me or what?"

"Jack, maybe you should calm down a bit. It's not that bad, I should've seen it coming when I asked him," Crutchie says, defending me.

"And what exactly did he ask?" Jack turns to me.

"I asked him–"

"I asked Cassio, Crutch. I wanna know what he did to make you so angry."

I turn to Crutchie. Is it okay if you translate? I've lost the pen, and I'm too scared to ask for a pencil right now.

He nods, smiling.

He asked me where I learnt to sign, and I told him.

Crutchie relays the information, word for word.

And then I asked himwhere helearnt to sign, and he told me, but he didn't want to say. I don't know why, and I didn't ask again.

Again, Crutchie relays the information to his friend.

"What you're saying is that all you did was ask a question?"

I nod.

"So why did it upset Crutchie so much?"

I shrug. LIAR. You know exactlywhy it upset him, Cassandra.Oh, no.

The voices are back.

"It only upset me 'cause the answer was her,Jack," Crutchie spat.

"Wait... you mean...?"

He nods.

"What's goin' on, Jack? What're you'se talkin' about?" Race says.

"I need you to take Cassio back to the Lodge, okay, Race? Or at least find somewhere for 'im to sleep, got it?" Jack orders.

"Y-Yeah, sure, Jack," Race says, grabbing my arm. "Let's go, kid."

***

As we make our way back, I decide to sleep at the circulation gate. It's covered and it's not like too many people will bother me. I feel safer here than I would in the Lodging House, anyways. Race wasn't keen on the idea, but I made sure he went back in and slept.

I'm trying to hold back the tears, but I don't know how long I can last. I've managed to keep the voices at bay, but I can't stop the tears.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. I'm so, so sorry I left you. I'm sorry I hurt you, but you didn't understand how much danger you were in," I whisper, "I didn't want to, but I had to. I'm so, so, so goddamned sorry, Charlie."

It was a few hours before I went to sleep. I had to make sure Crutchie got back okay, and after that I just couldn't turn off my brain.

I wish I'd left it running, because the dreams were brutal.

Sorry I'm feeling sad atm so this chapter went sad sorta quickly, but next chapter might be better I'm not sure yet I'm sorry

Please comment your thoughts, and vote if you'se want